Samuel L. JacksonQuotes

Louis Hinds: [opens the door for Floyd to leave] Get the fuck out.

Floyd Henderson: Well, I guess you don't give a fuck about the money then, huh?

Louis Hinds: [suddenly looks at Louis and raises his eyebrows] What money? It's a funeral! Don't nobody get paid to sing at no damn funeral! How much?

Floyd Henderson: 40 grand.

Louis Hinds: [closes the door] Apiece?

Floyd Henderson: No, down the middle.

Louis Hinds: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO. That ain't even enough.

Floyd Henderson: The fuck you mean "that's not enough", man?

Louis Hinds: I got a lifestyle to maintain here!

Floyd Henderson: What kinda lifestyle, man? You filthy motherfucker! You got a pantry full of dogfood, but I don't see no dog!

Louis Hinds: Dog under the bed, Nigga! You lucky he ain't attacked your ass when you came in!

Floyd Henderson: YOU THE DOG, MOTHERFUCKER!

Jules Winnfield: [[W:Cannabis in the Netherlands|the hash bars] Okay, so, tell me about ].

Vincent Vega: So what you want to know?

Jules: [[Hashish|hash] Well, ] is legal there, right?

Vincent: Yeah, it's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint, and start puffin away. They want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places.

Jules: Those are hash bars?

Vincent: Yeah. Breaks down like this, okay: it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's illegal to carry it, but that doesn't really matter cause, get a load of this, all right; if you get stopped by the cops in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean, that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have.

Jules: [laughing] Oh, man. I'm going, that's all there is to it. I'm fucking going.

Vincent: Yeah, baby, you'd dig it the most. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?

Jules: What?

Vincent: It's the little differences. I mean, they got the same shit over there that we got here, but it's just...it's just, there it's a little different.

Jules: Example?

Vincent: All right. Well, you can walk into a movie theater in Amsterdam and buy a beer. And I don't mean just like in no paper cup; I'm talking about a glass of beer. And in Paris, you can buy a beer at McDonald's. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

Vincent: Nah, man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know the fuck a Quarter Pounder is.

Jules: What do they call it?

Vincent: [[w:fr:Royal Cheese|Royale with Cheese] They call it a "].

Jules: Royale with Cheese.

Vincent: That's right.

Jules: What do they call a Big Mac?

Vincent: [[w:fr:Big Mac|''Le'' Big Mac] A Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it "].

Jules: [in mock French accent; laughs] Le Big Mac." What do they call a Whopper?

Vincent: I don't know, I didn't go in a Burger King, You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of ketchup?.

Jules: What?

Vincent: Mayonnaise.

Jules: [makes a grossed out face] Goddamn.

Vincent: [chuckles] I seen them do it, man, they fucking drown them in that shit.

Jules: [grossed out] Yuck.

Maj. Mark Biggs: Let me get this straight. You evacuate the Ambassador. You go back to the roof. Two of your Marines are K.I.A. A third, Sergeant Krasevitch, dies. You give your captain an order which he doesn't follow; in fact, he questions. And then you said what?

Col. Terry L. Childers: I don't remember.

Maj. Mark Biggs: You don't remember what you said next?

Col. Terry L. Childers: It was combat, not some training exercise.

Maj. Mark Biggs: A moment later, your men were shooting. What did you say to make that happen?

Col. Terry L. Childers: I don't know.

Maj. Mark Biggs: You must have said something. Captain Lee reversed himself. What did you say?

Col. Terry L. Childers: I don't know the exact words.

Maj. Mark Biggs: Let me help you.

Col. Hayes Hodges: Your Honor.

Maj. Mark Biggs: You said "Waste the motherfuckers," didn't you?

Col. Terry L. Childers: No, no, no...

Maj. Mark Biggs: You didn't say it?

Col. Terry L. Childers: It all happened so fast-

Maj. Mark Biggs: [Childers hesitates and doesn't reply.] You're under oath, Colonel! Let me refresh your memory. This is Exhibit Q, a tape recording made aboard the U.S.S. Wake lsland of all radio communications received that day, including your exact words. Your Honor, with your permission, I would like to play this tape.

Col. Terry L. Childers: If you got it on tape, then that's what I said! They were killing my Marines, so, yeah, I said it! "Waste the motherfuckers!

Maj. Mark Biggs: Are these "the motherfuckers"?

Col. Hayes Hodges: Objection.

Judge: Overruled.

Col. Terry L. Childers: Yes!

Maj. Mark Biggs: These?

Col. Hayes Hodges: Objection!

Col. Terry L. Childers: Yes!

Maj. Mark Biggs: These?

Col. Hayes Hodges: Objection!

Judge: Overruled.

Col. Terry L. Childers: Yes!

Maj. Mark Biggs: Are these "the motherfuckers" that you ordered to be wasted?

Judge: Major.

Col. Terry Childers: YES!

Col. Hayes Hodges: Your Honor...

Major Mark Biggs: The crowd in front of the embassy had no weapons, did they, Colonel?

Col. Hayes Hodges: Objection! We found no snipers weapons, either!

Col. Terry L. Childers: Yes, they had weapons! You think there's a script for fighting a war without pissing somebody off?! Follow the rules and no one gets hurt?! Yes, innocent people probably died. Innocent people always die! But I did not exceed my orders!

Maj. Mark Biggs: There are rules and Marines are sworn to uphold them!

Col. Terry L. Childers: I was NOT going to stand by and see another Marine die just to live by those fucking rules!

Judge: [Bangs his gavel] Colonel!

Colonel Terry L. Childers: Six, Red Man! Engage hostile targets as they appear! Deadly force is authorized! How copy, over?

Captain Lee: Red Man, Red Man, Trans Six Actual! Negative, negative! Be advised I have women and children in my line of fire! I got snipers in the buildings at 400 meters! How copy, over?

Col. Terry L. Childers: What is it about this order you don't understand, Captain Lee?!

Capt. Lee: Sir, are you ordering me to fire into the crowd? Over!

Col. Terry L. Childers: YES, GOD DAMN IT! WASTE THE MOTHERFUCKERS!

Capt. Lee: [To his Marines] Six out. Engage, engage! OPEN FIRE!

Sgt. Wes Luger: What's going on in here?

Mr. Jigsaw: Drop your gun Mr. Luger!

Wes Luger: I don't have one...

Mr. Jigsaw: [confused] You are not carrying a weapon?

Wes Luger: Don't believe in them.

Mr. Jigsaw: Pick up the gun.

Mr. Jigsaw: Drop the gun Mr. Luger!

Wes Luger: We're investigating a felony, Miss Demeanor.

Sgt. Wes Luger: There's something between you and this General Morters.

Colt: He was my C.O. in NAM. CIA listed him as M.I.A. but the V.A. ID'd him and so we put out an APB.

Wes Luger: Oh, I see.

Lazarus: Mayella, it ain't never happened. And it damn sure ain't gonna happen tonight.

Mayella: [kisses him lightly] Oh, Laz, I know you're hurtin'. But you should know more than me, ain't no better cure for the blues than some good pussy.

Lazarus: So what you know how to make?

Rae: I don't fuckin cook.

Lazarus: You know Rae, I've met a lot of hard mouthed people in my day...

Rae: Alright, alright. Look, I put the God damn dress on alright? I think I'm handlin myself with a little bit of fuckin restraint. I mean you got me chained up here like I'm some kind of dog!

Lazarus: I ain't gonn be moved on this. Right or wrong, you gonn mind me. Like Jesus Christ said, "Imma suffa you. IMMA SUFFA YOU!" Get yo ass back in my house!

Rae: [spits in Lazarus' face] Or what? Or what?

Lazarus: Where the fuck all these people come from? I have been drinking in this shithole all my life, I ain't never seen this many people in here at once.

Bojo: Shithole? Kiss my ass, Laz.

Lazarus: Back at you, Mutherfucker.

Lazarus: That's right, preacher, get me drunk so I don't stick my foot up your ass.

Jimmy: What I mean - what I believe... is that you killed his father... like the stories I heard go. Now, if somebody killed my father... I would feel the need to do something. The stories I heard - you know, stories get around - is that you used to be a hard-ass. You were a hard-ass and you took his dad out, Sydney. So you think - what? You can just walk through this life... without being punished for it? Shit, man. I know all those guys you know. Floyd Gondolli, Jimmy Gator, Mumbles O'Malley. They like to sit around in Clifton's and talk, talk, talk. They love to tell stories. You can sit there and look at me sideways all you want. You probably think I'm some kind of asshole or something... but I'm not a killer... like you. You walk around like you're Mr. Cool, Mr. Wisdom... but you're not. You're just some old hood. The other night in the bar, you asking me a question... like do I do parking lot security? Well, the answer is no! I'm trusted security inside the casino. I'm trusted with security, and I don't fuck it up.

Sydney: Good that you have such a sturdy sense of responsibility.

Jimmy: Don't! Don't! Don't fuckin do that! You understand? I can see right through that shit! You look at me as some idiot, huh? I know you do. I know you. You old guys, you old hoods... you think you're so fuckin above it... so high and mighty. What am I to you? Some loser? Not with a gun in my hand. Not with the facts I know. Bottom line, Sydney. No matter how hard you try... you're not his father.

Sydney: I have the money here. I have the $10,000 here. Not in the bank. I have it here.

Jimmy: I knew that. I knew you did.

Sydney: I have the money to give you right now, in this moment. I will give you all that I have. Maybe before you were gonna kill me. Maybe. I don't know. I know John, and I love him like he was my own child. But I can tell you this: I don't want to die. I killed his father. I can tell you what it was. This is not an excuse. I'm not begging for clemency. All that matters, I do not wish to sacrifice my life for John's well-being. But I will sacrifice this money for mine because you have asked me. Because after this, I will have done all I can for John and for myself. I'm going to ask you with all the heart and sincerity that I have, please do not put a bullet in me. And, please, don't tell John what I've done. I trust that once I give you this money, you and I will take separate paths and that this negotiation will settle everything. That is my hope. I don't wanna die.

Jimmy: Jesus, we are fucking surrounded by pussy here.

Sydney: Hey, hey. Jimmy.

Jimmy: What?

Sydney: [nodding toward Clementine] Not for my ears, but hers. She can hear that sort of thing across the lounge. Puts her in a very uncomfortable position.

Jimmy: I doubt if hearing she's got a great pussy puts her in an uncomfortable position.

Sydney: I just don't want it coming from my table.

Jimmy: You may not know this but half the women that work here are take-home whores anyway. They get off on that shit. I got a friend, works over at the Sand Dunes where I work. This man's in charge of corralling waitresses for that sort of thing. He's in charge. He is the pussy patrol.

Sydney: Jimmy--

Jimmy: What?

Sydney: Just, you know--Hey, I live up here. I know what flies and what don't.

Jimmy: To tell a babe she's got a nice ass is no crime, believe me.

Pat Novak: [pulls up the latest Washington Post; shows clip of Norton's Senate testimony as if extracted from the front page] There's still no word from Omnicorp parent company, OCP. And although the government says they are rebuilding Alex Murphy, rumors continue to swirl about his condition. But we have obtained exclusive video taken by cell phone that shows the people of Detroit may have Alex Murphy back on the streets sooner than they think. The real tragedy here is that our president chose to uphold the Dreyfus Act. Now, I have no doubt he was manipulated by our biased media, and by whistleblower Dennett Norton.

Dr Dennett Norton: I acknowledge we know less than we thought. But I do believe my research program is sound. What I did with it was wrong.

Novak: [pause; walks back to center stage] The fact that this motherfucker is not serving time in some federal penitentiary is a huge, hot, heaping pile of horseshit!! Now I know some of you may think that this kind of thinking is dangerous, and these machines violate your civil liberties. Some of you even believe that the use of these drones overseas makes us the same kind of bullying imperialists that our forefathers were trying to escape. To you, I say... STOP WHINING! America is now and always will be the greatest country on the face of the Earth! I'm Pat Novak. Good night.

Pat Novak: [reviewing the footage from the RoboCop unveiling; explaining RoboCop's footage in background display; points to Murphy serving Miranda rights] Until today, Thomas King was a convicted felon wanted for rape, arson, and murder. This man has torn apart American families. On the loose for six years. And where was this criminal mastermind hiding? Right in front of the police headquarters. Here he is, just steps away from two of Detroit's finest. These two officers are completely unaware of the monster in their midst. And then, in 60 seconds... I repeat, just 60 seconds, Detective Murphy brings him down. This, my friends, is the future of American justice. How many like Thomas King will pay for their crimes now that RoboCop is here?

Mookie: You dago, wop, guinea, garlic breath, pizza slinging, spaghetti bending, Vic Damone, Perry Como, Luciano Pavarotti, Sole Mio, non-singing motherfucker.

Pino: You gold teeth, gold chain wearing, fried chicken and biscuit eating, monkey, ape, baboon, big thigh, fast running, high jumping, spear chucking, three-hundred-sixty-degree basketball dunking, titsun, spade, mulignan. Take your fucking pizza piece and go the fuck back to Africa.

Stevie: You little slanty eyed, me-no-speaky-American, own-every-fruit-and-vegetable-stand-in-New-York, bullshit, Reverend Sun Myung Moon, Summer Olympic 88, Korean kickboxing son-of-a-bitch.

Officer Long: You Goya bean eating, fifteen-in-a-car, thirty-in-an-apartment, pointed shoes, red wearing, Menudo, mira-mira Puerto Rican cocksucker. Yeah, you!

Sonny: It's cheap! I got a good price for you, Mayor Koch, "How-I'm-doing?", chocolate egg cream drinking, bagel and lox, B'nai B'rith, Jew asshole.

Mister Señor Love Daddy: Yo! Hold up! Time out! Time out! Y'all take a chill! Ya need to cool that shit out! And that's the double truth, Ruth!

Mister Senor Love Daddy: My people, my people, what can I say; say what I can. I saw it but didn't believe it; I didn't believe what I saw. Are we gonna live together? Together, are we gonna live?

Mister Senor Love Daddy: [[w:Boogie Down Productions|Boogie Down Productions; [w:Rob Base and DJ E-Z Rock|Rob Base; [w:Dana Dane|Dana Dane; [w:Marley Marl|Marley Marl; [w:Babatunde Olatunji|Olatunji; [w:Chuck D|Chuck D; [Ray Charles; [w:EPMD|EPMD; [w:Experience Unlimited|EU; [w:Alberta Hunter|Alberta Hunter; [w:Run–D.M.C.|Run–D.M.C.; [w:Stetsasonic|Stetsasonic; [John Coltrane; [w:Big Daddy Kane|Big Daddy Kane; [w:Salt-N-Pepa|Salt-n-Pepa; [w:Luther Vandross|Luther Vandross; [w:McCoy Tyner|McCoy Tyner; [w:Biz Markie|Biz Markie; [w:New Edition|New Edition; [Otis Redding; [w:Anita Baker|Anita Baker; [w:Thelonious Monk|Thelonious Monk; [w:Marcus Miller|Marcus Miller; [w:Branford Marsalis|Branford Marsalis; [James Brown; [w:Wayne Shorter|Wayne Shorter; [w:Tracy Chapman|Tracy Chapman; [w:Miles Davis|Miles Davis; [w:Force MDs|Force MDs; [w:Oliver Nelson|Oliver Nelson; [w:Fred Wesley|Fred Wesley; [w:Maceo Parker|Maceo; [Janet Jackson; [Louis Armstrong; [Duke Ellington; [w:Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis|Jimmy Jam; [w:Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis|Terry Lewis; [George Clinton; [Count Basie; [w:Mtume|Mtume; [Stevie Wonder; [w:Bobby McFerrin|Bobby McFerrin; [w:Dexter Gordon|Dexter Gordon; [Sam Cooke; [w:Parliament-Funkadelic|Parliament-Funkadelic; [w:Al Jarreau|Al Jarreau; [w:Teddy Pendergrass|Teddy Pendergrass; [w:Joe Williams (jazz singer)|Joe Williams; [Wynton Marsalis; [w:Phyllis Hyman|Phyllis Hyman; [w:Sade (singer)|Sade; [w:Sarah Vaughn|Sarah Vaughn; [w:Rahsaan Roland Kirk|Roland Kirk; [w:Keith Sweat|Keith Sweat; [w:Kool Moe Dee|Kool Moe Dee; [w:Prince (musician)|Prince; [w:Ella Fitzgerald|Ella Fitzgerald; [w:Dianne Reeves|Dianne Reeves; [Aretha Franklin; [Bob Marley; [w:Bessie Smith|Bessie Smith; [Whitney Houston; [w:Dionne Warwick|Dionne Warwick; [w:Steel Pulse|Steel Pulse; [Little Richard; [w:Mahalia Jackson|Mahalia Jackson; [w:Jackie Wilson|Jackie Wilson; [w:Cannonball Adderley|Cannonball; [w:Nat Adderley|Nat Adderley; [w:Quincy Jones|Quincy Jones; [w:Marvin Gaye|Marvin Gaye; [w:Charles Mingus|Charles Mingus; [w:Marion Williams|Marion Williams] WE LOVE ROLL CALL, Y'ALL! ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], Sugar Bear, ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ], ] AND ], ], ], ] AND ]. We wanna thank you all for makin our lives just a little brighter here on We Love Radio!

Russell Franklin: Was that a goddamn shark broke through that door?

Carter Blake: I expect so.

Russell Franklin: You expect so? Well, well, well. Am I the only asshole down here who thinks that a tad bit odd? It can do that? Bust through a steel door?

Carter Blake: I ain't the expert. Given Gen Two's size and some room to move... she could put a couple tons, maybe more, into a hit. So, yeah, in my opinion. If she wants through, she's coming.

Russell Franklin: And these sharks... they aren't breaking down doors for the sheer joy of it, are they? They're after us.

Russell Franklin: [on seeing the modified shark] What in God's creation...?

Jim Whitlock: Oh, not His. Ours.

Janice Higgins: [pointing out a man on the tower] There's Dr. Jim Whitlock, the most brilliant man ever.

Russell Franklin: He's pissing into the wind. How brilliant can he be?

Janice Higgins: Welcome to our island paradise.

Russell Franklin: [Janice looks at him blankly] Where's Tattoo? You know, short guy? The plane, boss! The plane!

Janice Higgins: [confused] Right.

Russell Franklin: [sighing, to himself] I am getting old.

Russell Franklin: [gets eaten by a shark; another shark is seen tearing his upper body off] You think water moves fast? You should see ice. It moves like it has a mind. Like it knows it killed the world once and got a taste for murder. After the avalanche came, it took us a week to climb out. And somewhere, we lost hope. Now, I don't know exactly when we turned on each other. I just know that seven of us survived the slide... and only five made it out. Now we took an oath, that I'm breaking now. Swore we'd say it was the snow that killed the other two, but it wasn't. Nature can be lethal, but it doesn't hold a candle to man. Now you've seen how bad things can get and how quick they can get that way. Well, they can get a whole lot worse. So we're not going to fight anymore! We're going to pull together and find a way to get out of here! First, we're gonna seal off this pool-- AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Russell Franklin: So here's the riddle. What does an eight thousand pound mako shark with a brain the size of a flat head V8 engine and no natural predators think about?

Russell Franklin: Doctor, the 200 million I've sunk into this company is due in great part of your research. But when the market opens Monday, despite my reputation, I don't like heights. Especially falling from them. I'm sorry, honestly.

Elliot Blitzer: Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree.

Drexl Spivey: Now I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties.

Virgil: [[w:Wyatt Earp|Wyatt Earp; [Jack the Ripper; [w:Charles Whitman|guy in Texas; [w:University of Texas tower shooting|fuckin' tower; [w:Mardi Gras|Mardi Gras] Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a shit if you're fuckin ] or ]. Remember that ]? The guy up in that ] that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the bitch of the bunch. First one is tough, no fuckin foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no fuckin ] either, but it's better than the first one cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's... it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... shit... now I do it just to watch their fuckin expression change.

Big Don: I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin thang.

John The Hangman Ruth: So what happened to your horse?

Major Marquis Warren: He was pretty old. I done had him for a bit. When the weather took a turn for the worse, it got too much for him.

John The Hangman Ruth: That's too bad.

Major Marquis Warren: Yes, it is. Me and ol Lash rode alotta miles together. You might say he was my best friend, if I considered stupid animals friends, which I don't. Nevertheless, I'm gonna miss him.

Major Marquis Warren: [slow motion] You gon make a deal with this diabolical bitch?

Major Marquis Warren: [laughs] That's Marco the Mexican? Shit. Now that I blowed his face off, Marco ain't worth a peso!

Major Marquis Warren: My theory is you're working with the man who poisoned the coffee. And both of you murdered Minnie and Sweet Dave, and anybody else might'a picked this bad-luck day to visit Minnie's Haberdashery this morning. And your intention was, at some point, to bushwhack John Ruth and free Daisy. But you didn't count the blizzard, and you didn't count the two of us. That's as far as I got. How am I doin'?

Major Marquis Warren: Let's slow it down. Let's slow it waaaay down...

Major Marquis Warren: Move a little strange, a little sudden, you're gonna get a bullet. Not a warning, not a question... A bullet!

Major Marquis Warren: [winks] When the handbill says "dead or alive", the rest of us just shoot you in the back from up on top a perch somewhere and bring you in dead over a saddle. But when John Ruth the Hangman catches you, you don't die from no bullet in the back. When the Hangman catches you... You hang!

Major Marquis Warren: Got room for one more?

Jungle Jumper: Okay. Okay. Why?

Roland: [takes out his dagger; stabs the jungle jumper in the chest] Because you are an abomination. Only God should have the power to be in all places at all times. One less of you to worry about.

Nick Fury: What? No! Get everyone to the evacuation deck, NOW!!!

Principal Garrison: Your job, Mr. Carter, is to teach these boys basketball. I suggest you start doing your job.

Ken Carter: Your job is to educate these students- I suggest you start doing yours.

Ordell Robbie: Goddamn girl, you gettin high already? It's just 2 o'clock!

Melanie: [chuckling] It's that late?

Ordell Robbie: You know, you smoke too much of that shit, that shit gonna rob you of your own ambition.

Melanie: Not if your ambition is to get high and watch TV.

Ordell Robbie: You know your bail bondsmen, don'tcha? You know all them motherfuckers as crooked as a barrel of snakes, don'tcha?!

Ordell Robbie: My ass may be dumb, but I ain't no dumbass.

Ordell Robbie: [to Beaumont] You know man, I hate be the kind of nigga that do a nigga a favor and then Bam! hit the nigga up for a favor in return, but I gots to be that kinda nigga.

Ordell Robbie: AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.

Ordell Robbie: Now that there is the Tec-9, cheap-ass little spray gun made outta South Miami. It retails for $380. I get em for 2, sell em for 8. They advertise this Tec-9 as the most popular gun in American crime. Do you believe that shit? It actually says that in the little booklet that comes with it: "the most popular gun in American crime". Like they're actually proud of that shit.

Church Leader: And I say to you, bear witness! Watch the news. Watch the news. AIDS! Floods! The blood of the innocent, spilled! And yet, there are those who doubt this is the wrath of God. Our filthy government condones sodomy, divorce, abortion! And yet, some still doubt this is the work of the Antichrist! You do not have to be a Jew, a nigger, a whore or an atheistic, science-loving evolution spouter...

Merlin: [remotely watching] Charming sermon. Can you see Valentine anywhere?

Church Leader: So, my friends, although he is a just God, he is just a vengeful one and there can be no turning back from the almighty wrath...

Gazelle: Are you sure we're out of range?

Valentine: We're over 1,000 feet away. What's wrong?

Gazelle: What if the calculations are wrong?

Valentine: You just have to trust me.

Church Leader: ...Jew, nigger, fag lovers, and the devil is burning them for all eternity.

Harry: Would you excuse me?

Church Blonde Woman: [Harry tries to leave the church] Where are you going? Hey! What's your problem?

Harry: I'm a Catholic whore, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic. So hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam.

Valentine: Oh, shit. He's leaving. I'm starting the test now. Let's hope enough of these freaks have our SIM cards.

Church Leader: [continuing his sermon] I kindly ask you to sit down, my friend!

Church Blonde Woman: Just leave this church! You just leave this church like the infidel you are! Satan cannot save you now! You will eat your babies! You will drown in the blood of the Lord! He will not save you!

Eggsy: [remotely watching] Holy fuck!

Valentine: Oh, shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.

Mitch Henessey: You're telling me you guys are gonna fake some terrorist thing, just to scare some money out of Congress?

Leland Perkins: Well, unfortunately, Mr. Henessey, I have no idea how to fake killing 4,000 people. So we're just gonna have to do it for real.

Mitch Henessey: So, you cold?

Charly Baltimore: Yeah. Freezing.

Mitch Henessey: Turn on the heat. It doesn't work, but it makes a very annoying noise — distracts from the cold.

Mitch Henessey: And what about your daughter, what's her name . . . Cathead?

Charly Baltimore: Caitlin.

Charly Baltimore: Easy, sport. Got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey.

Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.

Charly Baltimore: I'm leaving the country, Mitch. I need a fake passport and I need money, lots of it.

Mitch Henessey: Well, why didn't you say so? Hold on a minute while I pull that outta my ass.

Charly Baltimore: Were you always this stupid, or did you take lessons?

Mitch Henessey: I took lessons!

Charly Baltimore: Why don't you just go away and come back at midnight. Shoo!

Gunman: Hey, honey, this is a real big fucking gun.

Mitch Henessey: This ain't no ham on rye, pal.

Charly Baltimore: What the hell are you doing?

Mitch Henessey: Saving your life. I would have been here sooner, but I was thinkin up that "ham on rye" line.

Nathan Waldman: Stay quiet, and drop the rifle.

Mitch Henessey: How'd you find us?

Nathan Waldman: There may be many reasons not to kill you, but among them is not that you'll be missed by NASA. I found the address in your coat. Here. Between the address of a topless bar, and the picture of what looks like a man's penis.

Mitch Henessey: That's a duck, not a dick.

Samantha Caine: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Mitch Henessey: I hope not, cause I'm thinking how much my balls hurt.

Mitch Henessey: Tell me, do you always curse this much?

Samantha Caine: What are you, a Mormon?

Mitch Henessey: Yes, I'm a Mormon, that's why I just smoked a pack of Newports and drank three vodka tonics. I mean . . . When I first met you, you were all "Oh phooey, I burnt the darn muffins;" now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come running out.

Mitch Henessey: [Singing] Put the car keys in my left pocket. Gun in the right hand side.

Samantha Caine: It makes a bulge! People will see it.

Mitch Henessey: You want me to put it into my pants and shoot my damn dick off?

Samantha Caine: What? So now you're a sharp shooter?

Mitch Henessey: Tell me, old man, how many of those things you got?

Nathan Waldman: Three: one shoulder, one hip, and one right here next to Mr. Wally, where most pat-downs never reveal it, as an agent's often reluctant to feel up another man's groin. Any other questions?

Mitch Henessey: Yeah! What's the weather like on your planet?

Mitch Henessey: Do not make an assumption, cause when you make an assumption, you make an ass outta you; and umption!

Mitch Henessey: Naw, I sock em in the mouth and yell, "Pop goes the weasel." Who the fuck are you?

Mitch Henessey: I ain't handsome, I ain't rich, and the last time I got blown, candy bars cost a nickel.

Mitch Henessey: What I'm saying is, back when we first met, you were all like "Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin out. What up with that?

Mitch Henessey: I never did one thing right in my life, you know that? Not one. That takes skill.

Marcus Banks: You wanna play games, motherfucker? Alright! I'll play.

Marcus Banks: Where the fuck were all of you, huh?! My son called for backup three times in eight minutes and none of you motherfuckers could get here?! Nobody! Nothing?! Crickets. Alright, this is what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna call Dispatch and find out who was closest available. And when I do, I'm gonna take this gun and shoot that motherfucker. We clear?

Marcus Banks: See? That right there. This ain't about you. You're always making shit about you!

Marcus Banks: Jigsaw Copycat... That could be difficult.

Nick Fury: At ease, soldier!

Steve Rogers: Who are you?

Fury: Colonel Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. You would have known us as the Strategic Scientific Reserve.

Rogers: Where am I?

Fury: 46th and Broadway. Look, I'm sorry about that little show back there, but we didn't know what your mental state might be, so we thought it best to break it to you slowly.

Rogers: Break what?

Fury: You've been asleep, Cap. For almost 70 years.

Rogers: How am I alive?

Fury: Well, to be honest with you, we don't really know. My docs say it was suspended animation. Could be Dr. Erskine's formula, the extreme cold. I don't know.

Rogers: What about the war? Did we win?

Fury: [Steve is silent with shock] Hell, yes. Unconditional surrender. Taking down HYDRA was a big part of that. But the world hasn't changed all that much. There's still a lot of work to be done. A soldier's work. The world can still use a man like you, Cap. There's a place here for you. You gonna be okay?

Rogers: Yeah. Yeah, I just... I had a date.

Nick Fury: We have no idea what other intergalactic threats are out there. And our one-woman security force had a prior commitment on the other side of the universe. S.H.I.E.L.D. alone can't protect us. We need to find more.

Coulson: More weapons?

Nick Fury: [[w:Marvel Cinematic Universe|More heroes.] ]

Coulson: You think you can find others like her?

Nick Fury: We found her and we weren't even looking.

Captain Marvel: Take the Tesseract, leave the lunchbox.

Nick Fury: Me?

Captain Marvel: Yes.

Nick Fury: I'm not touching that thing!

Captain Marvel: You want me to get you an oven mitt?

Captain Marvel: Get the Skrulls in the quadjet and go! Take the Flerken with you!

Nick Fury: What about you?

Captain Marvel: I'll buy you some time.

Nick Fury: [''Picks up Goose, very nervously''] I'm picking you up now. I'm trusting you not to eat me.

Carol Danvers: [''Referring to the front of the baseball cap that Fury has given her''] What is this?

Nick Fury: It's a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo.

Carol Danvers: Does announcing your identity with branded clothing, help with the covert part of the job?

Nick Fury: ...said the space soldier who's wearing a rubber suit. Lose the flannel.

Carol Danvers: This is gonna get a little awkward, but I gotta ask...

Nick Fury: You think I'm one of those green things.

Carol Danvers: Can't be too careful.

Nick Fury: You are looking at 100% red-blooded Earthman.

Carol Danvers: I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.

Nick Fury: We talking cheek swab or urine sample?

Carol Danvers: No, the DNA would match.

Nick Fury: [[w:AOL|my AOL password] Want ]?

Carol Danvers: Skrulls can only sim recent memories of their hosts bodies.

Nick Fury: ...You wanna get personal.

Carol Danvers: Where were you born?

Nick Fury: [[w:Huntsville, Alabama|Huntsville, Alabama] ]. But technically, I don't remember that part.

Carol Danvers: Name of your first pet?

Nick Fury: Mr. Snoofers.

Carol Danvers: Mr. Snoofers?

Nick Fury: That's what I said. Do I pass?

Carol Danvers: Not yet. First job?

Nick Fury: Soldier. Straight outta high school. Left the ranks a full-bird colonel.

Carol Danvers: Then?

Nick Fury: Spy.

Carol Danvers: Where?

Nick Fury: It's the Cold War, we were everywhere. Belfast, Bucharest, Belgrade, Budapest... I like the B's. I can make em rhyme.

Carol Danvers: Now?

Nick Fury: Been riding a desk for the past six years trying to figure out where our future enemies are coming from. Never occurred to me they would be coming from above.

Carol Danvers: [''Thinks for a moment''] Name a detail so bizarre, a Skrull could never fabricate it.

Nick Fury: [''Long pause; Carol smirks''] If toast is cut diagonally, I can't eat it. ...You didn't need that, did you?

Carol Danvers: No. No, I didn't. But I enjoyed it.

Keller: You're saying this thing looked like Coulson?

Nick Fury: Mmm... Talked like him, too.

Keller: And the woman said that there were...more?

Nick Fury: The word she used was "infiltration".

Keller: Do you believe her?

Nick Fury: [Referring to the dead Skrull on the coroner's table] Not until I saw this.

Keller: What's your plan?

Nick Fury: I'll find Blockbuster girl. I got word on a motorcycle thief that fits her description. If she can tell us why those lizards are here, maybe she can tell us how to kick em to the curb.

Keller: [[Captain America: The Winter Soldier|not even our own men] Good. Do it alone, though. We can't trust anyone, ].

Keller: Wow. They are ugly bastards, aren't they?

Tat Lawson: [playing cards at a table] Look here, man. Now that you been out the joint two weeks, don't you think it's about time you gave me my money?

Man: Told you I ain't got your money yet, man.

Tat Lawson: The fuck you mean you ain't got my money yet? Motherfuckin everybody know about that money you hid from that robbery!

Man: Motherfucker, I told you I ain't got your money yet, man.

Tat Lawson: [tilts head to the left] The fuck you mean you ain't got my money yet? Motherfucker, you best be comin up with my cash or else, you know what I'm sayin'?

Man: [shrugs] Fuck you, Tat! Fuck you think you is, motherfuckin Ron O'Neill or somethin'? Talkin about I better pay or else. I ain't your bitch, nigga! Well, whatcha gon do?

Tat Lawson: [pulls out revolver and points it at the man] Oh, what I'm gon do?

Man: What? I'm supposed to be scared now that you pull out a pistol, motherfucker? I just spent five motherfuckin years in the joint. I told ya I pay your monkey-ass when I feel like it. Better suck my dick.

Tat Lawson: [while he shoots the man 8 times] Suck on this, motherfucker!

A-Wax: [to nurse] Give us a motherfuckin doctor!

Nurse: You'll have to fill out these forms first.

Lady: Bitch, fuck the forms! We need a doctor! He's bleeding to death over there!

Neville Flynn: [extracts his gun] ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHERFUCKIN PLANE! EVERYBODY STRAP IN! I'm about to open some fuckin windows.

George Washington Williams: You look like you're about to give me a hug.

John Clayton: I wasn't.

George Washington Williams: [''They embrace''] Looked like you were.

George Washington Williams: I'm still coming with you.

John Clayton: You can't keep up.

George Washington Williams: I might not be able to keep up with Tarzan, but I sure as hell can keep up with *you*.

John Clayton: Are you aware that you always seem not going to do something right before you do it?

George Washington Williams: Yeah? Well. That's only since I've been saddled with your company.

George Washington Williams: [''Looking out over the ledge] How are we suppose to catch a train going 40 miles an hour?

John Clayton: [''He and the natives jump off one at a time''] Gravity...

John Clayton: I'll have to fight Akut.

George Washington Williams: That's Akut?!

John Clayton: He was my brother once. Now he'd only see me as a deserter.

George Washington Williams: What I wouldn't give for a horse right now. Why is it people don't ride zebras?

John Clayton: Horses kick to escape. Zebras continue until you are dead.

George Washington Williams: Zeebra. Zehbra. Tomayto. Tomahto.

John Clayton: It's nearly impossible to take the wild out of something born to it.

George Washington Williams: It seems to work with you. Look. I feel foolish for asking, but... Can you really talk to animals?

John Clayton: You're an educated man, Dr. Williams. You tell me.

John Clayton: Beyond that is all Mangani land.

George Washington Williams: [[gorilla] Mangani"? Those ]s you lived with?

John Clayton: They're not gorillas.

Porter: Gorillas are gentle. Mangani are not.

George Washington Williams: You, are Tarzan. Lord of the apes, King of the jungle. "Me, Tarzan. You, Jane.

George Washington Williams: Leopold has spent the last 7 years getting control of the Congo. He used up his entire fortune building that railroad of his, and shut off access to 99% of the country. Why? Because he wants to be the first monarch in history who doesn't want people to see his good deeds? I don't buy it.

Carl Lee Hailey: Ask if he thinks I should go to jail.

Jake Tyler Brigance: Carl Lee, they amputated his leg because you shot him. He's the prosecution's witness.

Carl Lee Hailey: You're my lawyer ain't ya? Ask him.

Jake Tyler Brigance: Your Honor, one question.

Judge Omar Noose: Make up your mind, Mr. Brigance.

Jake Tyler Brigance: Deputy Looney, do you think Carl Lee shooting you was intentional?

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: No sir. It was an accident.

Carl Lee Hailey: Ask him!

Jake Tyler Brigance: Do you think he should be punished for shooting you?

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: No, sir. I hold no ill will toward the man. He did what I would have done.

Jake Tyler Brigance: What do you mean by that?

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: I mean, I don't blame him for what he did. Those boys raped his little girl.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Objection, your Honor! The witness's opinion on this matter is irrelevant.

Jake Tyler Brigance: Your Honor, I believe Deputy Looney has earned the right to speak here today.

Judge Omar Noose: Overruled. Continue.

Jake Tyler Brigance: Go ahead, Dwayne.

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: I got a little girl. Somebody rapes her, he's a dead dog. I'll blow him away just like Carl Lee did.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Objection your Honor!

Jake Tyler Brigance: Do you think the jury should convict Carl Lee Hailey?

Judge Omar Noose: Don't answer that question.

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: He's a hero. You turn him loose.

Judge Omar Noose: The jury will disregard...

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: Turn him loose!

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Your honor, you silenced that witness!

Deputy Dwayne Powell Looney: You turn him loose!

Carl Lee Hailey: What that Memphis doctor say about her?

Gwen Hailey: She's doing good. Her jaw is healing. She can't run and jump yet, but it won't be long.

Carl Lee Hailey: How about the other?

Gwen Hailey: There was too much damage. She ain't never gonna have kids.

Carl Lee Hailey: You know, I think about them too boys. Dead, buried, probably starting to rot. And I remember them walking into court... one proud, the other scared. I remember how they fell. One on top of the other, screaming and squirming and not going nowhere. God help me Gwen, but that's the only thought that give me comfort.

Jake Tyler Brigance: We're going to lose this case, Carl Lee. There are no more points of law to argue here. I want to cop a plea, maybe Buckley will cop us a second degree murder and we can get you just life in prison.

Carl Lee Hailey: Jake, I can't do no life in prison. You got to get me off. Now if it was you on trial...

Jake Tyler Brigance: It's not me; we're not the same, Carl Lee. The jury has to identify with the defendant. They see you, they see a yardworker; they see me, they see an attorney. I live in town, you live in the hill.

Carl Lee Hailey: Well, you are white and I'm black. See Jake, you think just like them. That's why I picked you; you are one of them , don't you see? Oh, you think you ain't because you eat in Claude's and you are out there trying to get me off on TV talking about black and white, but the fact is you are just like all the rest of them. When you look at me, you don't see a man, you see a black man.

Jake Tyler Brigance: Carl Lee, I'm your friend.

Carl Lee Hailey: We ain't no friends, Jake. We are on different sides of the line, I ain't never seen you in my part of town. I bet you don't even know where I live. Our daughters, Jake; they ain't never gonna play together.

Jake Tyler Brigance: What are you talking about?

Carl Lee Hailey: America is a wall and you are on the other side. How's a black man ever going to get a fair trial with the enemy on the bench and in the jury box?. My life in white hands? You Jake, that's how. You are my secret weapon because you are one of the bad guys. You don't mean to be but you are. It's how you was raised. Nigger, negro, black, African-American, no matter how you see me, you see me different, you see me like that jury sees me, you are them. Now throw out your points of law Jake. If you was on that jury, what would it take to convince you to set me free? That's how you save my ass. That's how you save us both.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Mr. Hailey, before you stepped outside of yourself and watched yourself shoot Mr. Willard and Mr. Cobb, were you aware that if convicted, they could be free in ten years?

Carl Lee Hailey: Yes sir. I've heard some people say that. Yes sir.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think men who kidnap a child should be free in 10 years?

Carl Lee Hailey: No, sir.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think two men who rape a child should be free in 10 years?

Carl Lee Hailey: No, sir.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think two men who hang a child should be free in 10 years?

Carl Lee Hailey: No.

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Well, what do you think should happen? What would be a fair sentence?

Jake Tyler Brigance: Objection!

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Do you think they deserve to die, Mr. Hailey?

Jake Tyler Brigance: Don't answer that, Carl Lee!

D.A. Rufus Buckley: Answer the question! Did they deserve to die?!

Carl Lee Hailey: [court audience is heavily agitated by the response] YES, THEY DESERVED TO FUCKING DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL!!!

Elijah Price: Why is it, do you think, that of all the professions in the world you chose protection?

David Dunn: You are a very strange man.

Elijah Price: You could have been a tax accountant. You could have owned your own gym. You could have opened a chain of restaurants. You could've done of ten thousand things, but in the end, you chose to protect people. You made that decision, and I find that very, very interesting.

Elijah Price: It has begun. Tell me something, David. When you woke up this morning... Was it still there? The sadness?

David Dunn: No.

Elijah Price: [handshake] I think this is where we shake hands.

Bar Patron: I worked in that building 25 years, I know all its secrets.

Elijah Price: Secrets?

Bar Patron: Like, if there ever was a fire on floors 1, 2 or 3, everyone in that hotel would be burned alive.

David Dunn: What have you done...?

Elijah Price: I almost gave up hope. There were so many times I questioned myself...

David Dunn: You killed all those people...

Elijah Price: But I found you. So many sacrifices, just to find you.

David Dunn: Jesus Christ...

Elijah Price: Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when... You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass.

Elijah Price: [Regarding an illustration at Price's art gallery] This is from Fritz Champion's own library. This is before the first issue of the comic book hit the stands in 1968. It's a classic depiction of good versus evil. Notice the square jaw of Slayer - common in most comic book heroes. And the slightly disproportionate size of Jaguaro's body to his head. This again is common, but only in villains... The thing to notice about this piece... The thing that makes it very, very special... is its realistic depiction of its figures. When the characters eventually made it into the magazine they were exaggerated... as always happens. This is vintage.

Customer: Wrap it up.

Elijah Price: You've made a considerably wise decision.

Customer: My kid's gonna go beserk.

Elijah Price: [Visibly concerned] Once again, please?

Customer: My son, Jeb. It's a gift for him.

Elijah Price: How old is Jeb?

Customer: He's four.

Elijah Price: No. No, no, no, no, no. You need to go. Now.

Customer: What did I say?

Elijah Price: Do you see any Teletubbies in here? Do you see a slender plastic tag clipped to my shirt with my name printed on it? Do you see a little Asian child with a blank expression on his face sitting outside on a mechanical helicopter that shakes when you put quarters in it? No? Well, that's what you see at a toy store. And you must think you're in a toy store, because you're here shopping for an infant named Jeb. Now, one of us has made a gross error and wasted the other person's valuable time. This is an art gallery, my friend. And this is a piece of art.

Elijah Price: (from deleted scene) Can I tell you a secret? I'm going to be very, very sad if this doesn't work out the way I think.

Elijah Price: Now that we know who you are, I know who I am. I'm not a mistake! It all makes sense! In a comic, you know how you can tell who the arch-villain's going to be? He's the exact opposite of the hero. And most times they're friends, like you and me! I should've known way back when... You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr Glass.

Elijah Price: Do you know what the scariest thing is? To not know your place in this world, to not know why you're here. That's - that's just an awful feeling.

Elijah Price: Go to where people are, you won't have to look very long. It's alright to be afraid, David, because this part won't be like a comic book. Real life doesn't fit into little boxes that were drawn for it.

Elijah Price: It's hard for many people to believe that there are extraordinary things inside themselves, as well as others. I hope you can keep an open mind.

Elijah Price: This is an art gallery my friend, and this, is a piece of art.

Elijah Price: It's alright to be afraid, David, because this part won't be like a comic book. Real life doesn't fit into little boxes that were drawn for it.

Elijah Price: I have something called Osteogenesis Imperfecta. It's a genetic disorder. I don't make a particular protein very well and it makes my bones very low in density, very easy to break. I've had fifty-four breaks in my life. And I have the tamest version of this disorder... Type one. There are type two, type three, and type four. Type four's don't last very long.

Elijah Price: They called me Mr. Glass.

Elijah Price: Now that we know who you are, I know who I am.

Elijah Price: [After proving Dunn's superhuman abilities; ''Dunn stares at him, pauses''] ...Now all I need is a credit card number. The last one was a joke.