Sarah Michelle GellarQuotes

Velma: Fred, I can't believe you took credit for my plan again.

Fred: Velma.

Daphne: Some plan. The ghost pawed me for an hour and a half.

Fred: Daph, look. It's not our fault you always get kidnapped.

Daphne: I do not always get kidnapped. Can't believe you say that to me.

Velma: [Daphne angrily snatches Velma's glasses off her face in retaliation] Oh, please. You come with your own ransom note. Hey, my glasses!

Daphne: We did it!

Fred: Yes, we did.

Daphne: Fred, cut it out!

Scrappy: Scrappy-Dappy-Doo!

Scooby: Hey!

Scrappy: Ghosts don't stand a chance with me. Let me at em! I'll rack em! I'll sock em!

Fred: Scrappy, for the thousandth time, there's no such thing as ghosts.

Scrappy: [starts peeing on Daphne] Sure, there are. And when I find them, I'll give them a dose of puppy power! Ta-da!

Daphne: [gasps; disgusted] Oh, god! He's peeing on me!

Scrappy: Ooh.

Velma: [voiceover] That little egomaniac had flipped his lid.

Fred: [angrily] Scrappy, I told you, no urinating on Daphne!

Scrappy: It was an accident!

Fred: [angrily] You were marking your territory!

Scrappy: You don't have the scrote for this job, pally! Now listen up, losers. The time has come to appoint me your unquestioned leader. Either that, or I'm outta here!

Scooby: [while they look at each other] Hmm...

Scrappy: [gets kicked off the Mystery Machine van, rolls away; kicks the suitcase; [The Powerpuff Girls|Powerpuff Girl] What's the idea? You can't do this to me! People adore me! Ow! I’m as cute as a ]. I'll get my own TV show.

Brad: Carol! Hey Carol, how's the island?

Carol: [with an angry tone] Are you tricking on me?

Brad: Carol, it's me. It's Brad. We've known each other since we were, like, three--

Carol: [suddenly lifts up Brad in air] Back off my grill, son.

Brad: [screaming in pure terror as Mystery Inc. watches in horror] CAROL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Mondavarious: I'm terrified. And if the young people come off the barge, the people I love the most, they are in danger.

Velma: I'm gonna solve this one first.

Fred: Not before I solve it first.

Mondavarious: Well done.

Daphne: You guys are gonna look like total, total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you.

Velma: What's the problem, exactly?

Mondavarious: I believe somebody is casting a spell on the students. Now listen and look around. Can you notice any difference between those arriving and those departing?

Daphne: They look like sober, well-behaved college kids.

Mondavarious: Precisely. And they didn't before they came. They've changed. In other words, a magic spell.

Velma: Daphne, are you OK?

Daphne: I am so over this damsel-in-distress nonsense.

Fred: Uh, where's Shagster?

Shaggy: Like, I'm right here, man.

Scooby: Me, too.

Shaggy: Hey, Scooby-Doo, that was fun. Let's grab another skateboard and, like, do it again, huh?

Scooby: [chuckles] Yeah!

Male Reporter: Mystery Inc., do you know the identity of the Evil Masked Figure behind at all?

Velma: Well, if our hunch is correct, the Evil Masked Figure is…

Evil Masked Figure/Heather: NO!

Daphne: Heather Jasper-Howe.

Scooby: Uh-huh. Huh?

Female Reporter #1: But she was at the museum when the Masked Figure was on the roof.

Daphne: [to Heather; Instead of looking at Patrick, who has braced himself for exposure, Daphne points at someone else] You almost had me there, didn't you? Lucky for her, she had an assistant helping her along with her evil plans. Ned.

Scooby: Huh?

Daphne: When I realized she was the Evil Masked Figure, he quickly changed into her costume.

Female Reporter #2: But why did she do it?!

Velma: Because Heather Jasper-Howe is actually… (Pause for effect.)

Scooby: Huh?

Velma: [a female police officer, Shaggy, Daphne, and Wickles get shocked] …Dr. Jonathan Jacobo. The original Pterodactyl Ghost.

Gretchen Saunders Female Reporter #3: But how do you know this?

Velma: A photo. Taken of Jacobo in front of the Coolsonian. Jacobo supposedly died a year before construction even began.

Shaggy: So, Jacobo survived that fall off the prison wall.

Scooby: Yeah.

Fred: He also adapted the false Heather Jasper-Howe persona to turn the press against us.

Daphne: Then he framed poor hideous Old Man Wickles by putting that book and the Black Knight Ghost in his mansion.

Wickles: [[w:My Fair Lady|My Fair Lady] As if you getting the lead in ] wasn't enough!

Jacobo: I was an excellent Eliza, and you were to acty!

Wickles: And stealing my tater tots!

Jacobo: You kept saying you felt puffy!

Fred: And the real identity of Ned is…

Ned: Ow!

Fred: Ned!

Scooby: Huh?

Jacobo: I would've gotten away with it, if it weren't for those meddling punks and their dumb dog!

Ned: You were a dude this whole time?

Jacobo: Of course, dummkopf.

Ned: [upset] But we cuddled.

Velma: Mr. Wickles, we need to ask you a few questions about your ties to recent monster attacks.

Wickles: I don't know nothing about no monsters.

Daphne: Well, then how come there was randomonium on the floor of your mansion?

Wickles: There's- there- there's randomonium all over the place! Look it! I come home with it in my shorts!

Fred: Are you continuing the work of your old pal Jonathan Jacobo?

Wickles: [[w:My Fair Lady|My Fair Lady] Old pal"? Jacobo? We hated each other! And in the prison cafeteria, he used to steal my tater tots! And he got the lead in ].

Velma: Then why did we find the monster book in your library?

Wickles: Wait a second... You're the runts that vandalized my home! Which one of you stole my toilet brush?!

Boy on bike #1: Hey!

Scooby: Huh?

Boy on bike #1: Nice job last night.

Both boys on bikes: Losers!

Daphne: [to the gang] Quick, we need to think of a comeback.

Boy on bike #2: What dorks!

Daphne: [to the boys] Hey! Shut up!

Daphne: Guys, come on! Remember what I told you?

Shaggy: Never pick your nose in public?

Daphne: [beat] No... but that's good, too.

Scooby: Image is everything.

Daphne: Yes! Image is everything. The whole city is watching, so try to keep a brave face. They're costumes.

Kathryn Merteuil: You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with.

Kathryn Merteuil: People don't change overnight, you and I are two of a kind.

Kathryn Merteuil: You're telling me you had the chance to fuck her and you didn't? God, are you a chump.

Kathryn Merteuil: When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premier tramp of the New York area.

Kathryn Merteuil: Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Kathryn Merteuil: I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny.

Kathryn Merteuil: She's quite cute, you know. Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted booty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.

Kathryn Merteuil: Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and...what else do you do?

Kathryn Merteuil: Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.

Dawnie: Omega Beta Zeta.

Phone Voice: Is Cici there?

Dawnie: Mm-hm. Who's calling?

Phone Voice: It's Ted.

Dawnie: [to Cici; Gives her the phone] It's your ill-conceived boyfriend. Okay, so, I'll see you later, and don't forget to set the alarm. Bye.

Cici Cooper: Hello, Ted.

Phone Voice: [Cici's eyes widen in shock] You wish it was Ted. "Don't forget to set the alarm.

Cici's Friend: [on phone] I love those guys. Are they still together? I haven't seen it in, like, three weeks.

Cici Cooper: No, they broke up again.

Cici's Friend: [on phone] Really?

Cici Cooper: Mm-hmm. Sarah found out that Bailey slept with Gwen. She dumped him, like, two episodes ago.

Cici's Friend: [on phone] I wish she'd get her shit together.

Cici Cooper: [hangs up the call to her friend; shifts to talk to someone] Hold on. Someone's calling. Omega Beta Zeta.

Phone Voice: Hello?

Cici Cooper: Yes?

Phone Voice: Who is this?

Cici Cooper: Cici. Who's this?

Phone Voice: Who do you think?

Cici Cooper: [shifts to her friend's call] Ted? Where are you? Are you drinking? Hold on. Ted's on the other line. He sounds drunk. I'll call you back.

Cici's Friend: [on phone] That shit only calls you when he's drunk. Don't go over there, Cici.

Cici Cooper: [shifts back to someone's call] Okay, All right. I'll call you back. Okay, Ted. You sound loaded. What's up?

Phone Voice: Who's Ted?

Cici Cooper: Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. I thought you were someone else.

Phone Voice: That's okay. I am.

Cici Cooper: Who are you calling for? Nobody's here.

Phone Voice: Where is everybody?

Cici Cooper: We're cosponsorlng the acid rain mixer at Phi Gamma Alpha tonight.

Phone Voice: Why aren't you there?

Cici Cooper: I'm "sober sister". I need to be here in case a drunk sister calls and needs a ride.

Phone Voice: That's too bad.

Cici Cooper: Drink with your brain." That's our motto. Who are you calling for?

Phone Voice: What if I said you?

Cici Cooper: What if I said goodbye?

Phone Voice: Why would you want to do that?

Cici Cooper: Why do you always answer a question with a question?

Phone Voice: I'm inquisitive.

Cici Cooper: Yeah, and I'm impatient. Look, do you want to leave a message for someone?

Phone Voice: Do you want to die tonight, Cici?