Scott Capurro Biography
Scott A. Capurro is an American comedian, writer and actor based in San Francisco. His comedy material is deliberately provocative, referring often to gay life and culture, politics, race and racism, and popular culture. "I don't give a shit about those who don't like my work," he snaps. "I'm never going to win them over anyway, so why bother? My work is for a discerning audience who don't have knee-jerk responses.
" — Interview with Veronica Lee, The Evening Standard, November 6, 2000
Scott Capurro Movies
Scott Capurro TV Shows
Scott Capurro Quotes
Colorful Conversations and Fabulous Encounters
Daniel: [wearing a black wig and speaking with a Spanish accent]
I hope you are using Jungle Red, because that is the only color I love.
Jack:
Mmm. Matches your lips.
Daniel:
God bless you. You know I'm feeling fabulous, because I met this beautiful Cuban. Every night is like the Bay of Pigs.
Jack:
Mmm-hmm.
Daniel:
I can't lie to you. It's beautiful with him.
Jack:
Mmm.
Daniel:
I don't know. This will scare the children. Do you think so? I don't know, maybe this is too much for them?
Frank: [pulls out a latex nose]
I think we'll have to go to the next level. Latex.
Daniel: [while wearing a headscarf with a Yiddish accent; normal voice]
Oy, it vas such a shande! I should never buy gribenes from a mohel; it's so chewy. No, oh no, I feel like bubbe. This is not working.
Frank:
Yes, I know it's not working, but don't worry, it's a work in progress, and you're my brother; I will never let you be embarrassed.
Daniel:
God bless you.
Frank:
I think we're gonna have to do the entire face.
Daniel:
But look at this nice thing, though, we have here!
Daniel, Frank, and Jack: [singing; [w:Matchmaker, Matchmaker|Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match; find me a find, catch me a catch!]
]
Daniel: [in a strawberry-blonde wig as [[w:Barbra Streisand|Barbra Streisand; [w:Don't Rain On My Parade|Don't tell me not to live just sit and "puttah". Life’s candy and the sun's a ball of "buttah". Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!; stops singing]
], singing] ] It's not working. I need to go older.
Frank:
Older? Like Shelley Winters older or Shirley MacLaine older?
Daniel:
What's the difference?
Frank:
Some Scotch tape and red hair dye.
Daniel:
What about Joan Collins?
Frank:
Oh, I don't think I have the strength.
Daniel:
Alright.
Frank: [Montage begins of Frank making a plaster cast of Daniel's face and creating a face mask. "[[w:Luck Be A Lady|Luck Be A Lady; [w:Guys and Dolls|Guys and Dolls]
But I have some plaster. ]" from ] plays over the montage as Daniel assembles his costume. Finally, Daniel - in full costume - faces Frank and Jack.]
Daniel:
Are we close?
Frank: [Jack smiles with ecstatic delight and the three of them start to dance with glee]
Any closer and you'd be Mom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
