Val KilmerQuotes

Jackie Black: We got the girl back.

Scott: Yeah. She just took the long way home.

Grace: Yeah, I always knew you Marines were a weepy buncha motherfuckers.

Scott: I got something in my eye.

Laura Newton: Thank you.

Scott: For what?

Laura Newton: For coming for me.

Scott: Ah, what the hell.

Avi: There are some people in this house...

Scott: Avi...

Avi: That if you were go, while you were there, if you said hello to them for me, it would cut your price.

Scott: Avi, what do you think I am?

Avi: I don't know what you are. You ain't a planner. You're a shooter. I don't know what you're doing here, and I think you've gone off the reservation.

Laura Newton: Fuck it. I don't want to go home. Nobody there cares about me. I'm just a whore. I'm just a little whore.

Scott: Yeah, how'd you get like that?

Laura Newton: I was raised by wolves. I don't wanna go home.

Scott: Look, you go home some wave their hats, some turn their backs. It's all the same. None of them know where you've been.

Laura Newton: Did my father send you?

Scott: That's right.

Laura Newton: Why? Why? He wants me dead.

Scott: He sent me.

Laura Newton: One man.

Scott: One riot, one Ranger." You ever heard that?

Laura Newton: [[Leonidas I|Leonidas] ], King of Sparta... when a neighboring state would plead for military aid, would send one man.

Scott: Well, there you go.

Laura Newton: You ever hear that?

Scott: No. I think we went to different schools.

Burch: She dyed her hair. They see that red hair, what do they do, her hair grows out, when they see that red hair? Somebody recognizes her? What do they do when they realize who they took?

Scott: They kill her.

Burch: You're fuckin'-A right, they kill her.

Burch: What about if we had to go off the meter? I need a man, a man who can unquestioningly follow orders.

Scott: The door is closed sir.

Burch: I need to ask you to do something.

Scott: I am here to get the girl back, sir. And there is nothing I will not do to get the girl back.

Grace: Nice knife.

Scott: Yeah. Got it off an East German fella.

Grace: He give it to ya for a gift?

Scott: No. As I recall, he was... rather reluctant to part with it.

Curtis: They sending you in?

Scott: We'll leave that to our betters.

Curtis: Why don't you ask them?

Scott: Why would I want to know? I ain't a planner, I ain't a thinker. I never wanted to be. You got to set your motherfucker to receive. Listen to me. They don't go through the door, we don't ask why. That's not a cost, it's benefit. Because we get to travel light. They tell me where to go. Tell me what to do when I get there.

Curtis: [draws the Picasso symbol on the hood of a car] I saw the sign. Sir.

Scott: You saw the sign? You were up for a week. You coulda seen Jack Ruby. You don't know what you saw your first time out.

Curtis: Sir, I know what I saw.

Scott: You didn't see no sign baby, cause she wasn't there. The hardest thing, y'know what it is? It isn't going in the door, it's coming out. You ever come down offa drugs? The most powerful drug in the world is adrenaline. I told you everything I know. Stand down.

Curtis: I fucked up. I tried to help.

Scott: That's usually when people fuck up.

Scott: In the city always a reflection, in the woods always a sound.

Curtis: What about the desert?

Scott: You don't wanna go in the desert.

Scott: What they gotcha teachin here, young sergeant?

Jackie Black: Edged weapons, sir. Knife fighting.

Scott: Don't you teach em knife fighting. Teach em to kill. That way, they meet some sonofabitch who studied knife fighting, they send his soul to hell.

Curtis: My name's Curtis.

Scott: Do I need to know that? If I want camaraderie, I'll join the Masons.

Mitch: What are you doing?

Chris Knight: [[Socrates] Self-realization. I was thinking of the immortal words of ], who said, "... I drank what?

Jerry Hathaway: I want five megawatts by mid-May. Look, I don't care if you're arrogant. I don't care if you're disrespectful. But your attitude's distracting Mitch, and that I won't have. The rules have changed. I want it by mid-May.

Chris Knight: I think that you're just forgetting about one little detail, and that's that I am out of here. I'm gone, I'm history, I'm Casper, I'm graduating.

Jerry Hathaway: To graduate, you need my course, dear boy. So it seems I have something to say about what you do and where you go. So from now on you and Mitch are going to spend every waking moment in the lab. You will solve my power problem, and you will solve it by my deadline.

Chris Knight: OK, if you think that by threatening me, you can get me to be your slave, well... that's where you're right, but - and I'm only saying this because I care - there are a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market today that are just as tasty as the real thing.

Jerry Hathaway: I'm not kidding, Chris.

Chris Knight: Neither am I, Jerry.

Chris Knight: No seriously, listen...if there's ever anything I can do for you, or more to the point, to you, you let me know, okay?

Susan Decker: Can you hammer a six inch spike through a board with your penis?

Chris Knight: Not right now.

Susan Decker: A girl's got to have her standards.

Chris Knight: [about Susan] I'm sorry, but have you ever seen a body like this before in your life?

David Decker: She happens to be my daughter.

Chris Knight: Oh. Then I guess you have.

Recruiter: Chris, this is my assistant, Sherry Nugil, and this is Mike Dodd, designer of our new Telcom satellite.

Chris Knight: [as if honored; Casually] Doctor Dodd! Telcom...Isn't that the satellite that's raining debris all over Europe?

Dr. Dodd: [sharply] Why is that toy on your head?

Chris Knight: [matter-of-factly] Because, if I wear it anywhere else, it chafes.

Chris Knight: [Looking at Sherry Nugil; Sherry laughs, Dodd and the recruiter look uncomfortable] I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't want you guys to think I was stuffy. You know, no fun. All brain, no penis. I'm sorry, it was just an infantile response to authority.

Recruiter: [examines Chris' "visitor" tag] Yes. You are Chris Knight, aren't you?

Chris Knight: [reflectively] I hope so...I'm wearing his underwear.

Mitch: You know, um, something strange happened to me this morning...

Chris Knight: Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?

Mitch: No...

Chris Knight: Why am I the only one who has that dream?

Mitch: Did you know there's a guy living in our closet?

Chris Knight: You've seen him too?

Mitch: Who is he?

Chris Knight: Hollyfeld.

Mitch: Why does he keep going into our closet?

Chris Knight: Why do you keep going into our closet?

Mitch: To get my clothes - but that's not why he goes in there.

Chris Knight: Of course not, he's twice your size - your clothes would never fit him.

Mitch: Yeah...

Chris Knight: Think before you ask these questions, Mitch. Twenty points higher than me? Thinks a big guy like that can wear his clothes?

Chris Knight: You didn't touch anything, did you?

Mitch: No.

Chris Knight: Good. Because all of my filth is arranged in alphabetical order. This, for instance, is under H for "toy.

Mitch: What is that?

Chris Knight: It's a penis stretcher. Do you want to try it?

Mitch: No!

Chris Knight: I'm kidding. It's yet another in a long series of diversions in an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Chris Knight: Do you mind if I name my first child after you? "Dipshit Knight" has a nice ring to it.

Chris Knight: [to a girl at a party; looks down at her chest] Don't eat that. Don't you know that eating that can give you very large breasts? Oh my God, I'm too late!

Chris Knight: Moles and trolls, moles and trolls, work, work, work, work, work. We never see the light of day. We plan this thing for weeks and all they want to do is study. I'm disgusted. I'm sorry but it's not like me, I'm depressed. There was what, no one at the mutant hamster races, we only had one entry into the Madame Curie look-alike contest and he was disqualified later. Why do I bother?

Chris Knight: [to Mitch, as he is hanging upside down] Would you be prepared if gravity reversed itself? The only thing I can't figure out is how to keep the change in my pockets. I've got it. Nudity.

Virgil Adamson: I saw the horizon. It's out there. And though I may not ever be able to touch it, it's worth reaching for.

Virgil Adamson: Growing up blind - I had two dreams. One was to see. The other - to play for the New York Rangers. After the miracle of my short period of sight - I realize - I'd rather play for the Rangers. It's not that it was so awful - I saw many things - some good, some back some that I'm already forgetting. But I realized that our eyes aren't what make us see. We only live in darkness when we don't look - look at what is genuine about ourselves - genuine about others - you don't need eyes for that.

Virgil Adamson: I was better off blind. People don't have these expectations of you you can't live up to. You're blind - fine - they deal with it.

Virgil Adamson: I feel like Rip Van Winkle. I've woken up from a thirty year sleep - and the world's passed me by.

Virgil Adamson: This is just great - I don't believe this. What's that saying - stop the world I wanna get off.

Virgil Adamson: Amy. I want the chance to see. The chance to see Central Park, the Brooklyn Bridge, apples, raisins, a buffalo, a carburetor and the man in the moon. But I would give all that up - just to see this face.

Virgil Adamson: Just for a second I felt like I could see you - all of you.

Virgil Adamson: Of course, most people avoid the subject. You tell them you're blind and they act surprised. "You're blind? Really? I didn't know - you hide it so well." And then they wave their hand in front of your face just to make sure.

Virgil Adamson: The world is invisible to me - with my touch it comes alive. But only one thing at a time. But when it's raining, I feel everything at once. Sometimes, I wish it could rain inside rain all around us.

Virgil Adamson: Listening - the rain - it brings out the contours of everything, gives life to a room I can't see. You hear it?...on the roof dripping down the walls on every side. On the right, on the drainpipe, it's drumming with a deeper, steadier sound - - like a timpani - echoing across the room - tells me the room is large - open. You feel it - in your chest? On the left, the rain says...a fire escape, with its own rhythm - ping - ping. Then listen - there...

Virgil Adamson: I may not have been a lot of places - but I read about things, then make an image up here --(points to his head)--that works for me.

Virgil Adamson: Some seeing eye dog, more like sleeping eye dog.

Madmartigan: I love you, Sorsha?!" I don't love her, she kicked me in the face! I hate her! (confused/grabs his head).... don't I?

Madmartigan: Ooh, I'm really scared. No! Don't! There's a- a peck here with an acorn pointed at me!

Madmartigan: Get your hair out of my face or I'll chop it off.

Madmartigan: Burglekutt, let me out of here. I'll take care of the baby, I swear. Just let me out of here... Please. Vohnkar, let me borrow that spear just for a minute. Well... Well at least give me some water. Burglekutt, don't leave me alone here with these two! UHH! Well that was really stupid, Peck.

Madmartigan: Let me out of here, Airk. Give me a sword, I'll win this war for you.

Madmartigan: Well my mother raised me on blackroot. It's good for you. It puts hair on your chest, doesn't it, Sticks?

Madmartigan: Goodbye, Sticks. If you really are a princess, take care of him.

Hillary Flammond: I'm needed here. For as long as a single man is forced to cower under the iron fist of oppression, as long as a child cries out in the night, or an actor can be elected president, we must continue the struggle.

Nick Rivers: No, Hillary. It is too dangerous for you in Germany, now.

Dr. Flammond: Yes, go with Nick. Don't worry about us. We will hear his music on the "Voice of America". We will hear it in the hearts of people, and in elevators everywhere. And as long as we do, we know we are not alone in our fight.

Nick Rivers: They're right, Hillary. And when we get to America...

Hillary Flammond: Who knows what will be then.

Nick Rivers: Everything will be fine.

Hillary Flammond: Things change, people change, hairstyles change...

Nick Rivers: I want you to be with me.

Hillary Flammond: Interest rates fluctuate. Who knows?

NIck Rivers: Don't you want to come with me? If you don't, say it now.

Hillary Flammond: [hugging her friends goodbye] Want! Want more than anything! Take me. Take me with you! Goodbye, Chocolate Mousse. I'll never forget you. Goodbye, Du Quois. Take care of yourself. Goodbye, Deja Vu. I will always remember you. And I'll miss you, most of all, Scarecrow.

Nick Rivers: Ist der Tochter achtzehn bitten?

Martin: What's that mean?

Nick Rivers: Is your daughter eighteen?

Nick Rivers: What's wrong with him?

Wagon Driver: Oh, he caught a cold last week and he's just a little hoarse.

Nick Rivers: Listen to me, Hillary. I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a woman that he met at a restaurant who turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to her childhood lover who she last saw on a deserted island, who then turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French underground.

Hillary Flammond: I know. It all sounds like some bad movie.

Nick Rivers: Are you in some kind of trouble with the police?

Hillary Flammond: Some things are much better left unsaid.

Nick Rivers: Like what?

Hillary Flammond: Well, you know... sometimes when you blow your nose into a tissue and you put it in your purse, then a little while later you have to reach in there for your lipstick or something, and your hand gushes into it, and it goes all over...

Nick Rivers: Okay, okay, you're right, you're right. Some things are better left unsaid.

Nick Rivers: Hillary. That's an unusual name.

Hillary Flammond: It's German. It means she whose bosoms defy gravity'.

Nick Rivers: Pleased to meet you. My name's Nick.

Hillary Flammond: Nick? What does that mean?

Nick Rivers: Oh, nothing. My dad thought of it while he was shaving.

Nick Rivers: [to the Waiter] I really don't know any German.

Hillary Flammond: [pause; to the Waiter, in German] That's all right. I know a little German. He's sitting over there. What do you recommend?

Waiter: [in German] I recommend the pork bellies marinated in diced pig entrails or the roast swine knuckles poached with flaming hog balls.

Nick Rivers: Anything's fine.

Hillary Flammond: My uncle was born in America.

Nick Rivers: Oh, really?

Hillary Flammond: [[Jimmy Carter] But he was one of the lucky ones. He managed to escape in a balloon during the ] presidency.

Philip: A broken neck comes free, you fool!

Philip: (of Bucephalus) Who would want such a beast? I already have a wife!

Philip: Damn your sorceress soul! Keeping me like one of your snakes! I told you not! I told you not!

Simon Templar: Tell me you love me.

Emma Russell: I love you.

Simon Templar: Simon.

Emma Russell: I love you Simon.

Simon Templar: Miracle three.

Emma Russell: After all, you are my personal saint.

Simon Templar: You have to be a very good, and usually very dead person to become a saint. And more importantly, you need to work three miracles. Now, get to work.

Emma Russell: [reading Simon's journal aloud] I see my angel for the first time. Know my purpose, feel my birth, Hear, at first faintly, then distinctly The sweet strains of our union. Our love heats up the cold universe And gives my tired, desperate hope A reason and season to be revealed.

Simon Templar: We, purified by our kisses, are eternally healed.

Emma Russell: I'm glad it stopped bleeding. You don't need stitches. We have to disinfect it though.

Simon Templar: You really are an angel.

Emma Russell: [soaking cotton ball in rubbing alcohol and approaching the cut with it] Mmm hmm. It's gonna hurt.

Simon Templar: [surprising Emma, laughing; serious, realizing it wasn't funny] AHH! Ha ha...! sorry... I'm sorry... Are you alright?

Emma Russell: Yeah...

Simon Templar: I-I should go.

Emma Russell: No... take off your pants.

Simon Templar: [beat] Pardon?

Emma Russell: [embarrassed] I mean your sweater. There's blood on it. I'll wash it.

Simon Templar: [unbuttons her blouse, revealing her hidden cold fusion notes. He tries to remove them, but she doesn't let him] Very domestic. There's blood on your blouse as well. I'll wash it. Do you have any wine?

Ivan Tretiak: What?

Simon Templar: What?

Simon Templar: Don't look down. You know who I am?

Ivan Tretiak: No.

Simon Templar: [Takes a phone; Gives phone to Tretiak] I'm the thief you tried to cheat. And this is your accountant. Talk to him.

Simon Templar: The phone goes the other way, you moron.

Ivan Tretiak: [Returns phone to Simon] Hello, Tretiak speaking. That money to Zurich, send it now. I said now.Yeah.

Simon Templar: [Walks away] Thank you. You know what the hardest part about being you is? Pretending to be so bad in bed.

Ivan Tretiak: You son of the bitch.

Simon Templar: I'm a thief.

Emma Russell: I want my cards back.

Simon Templar: You flew all this way because you want your cards back?

Emma Russell: Yes I did.

Simon Templar: No, it's because you're in love.

Simon Templar: [gets slapped by Emma] I rest my case.

Emma Russell: Who are you?

Simon Templar: Nobody has a clue. Least of all me.

Emma Russell: You're not Martin.

Simon Templar: No.

Emma Russell: What is your name?

Simon Templar: I don't have a name.

Emma Russell: Sad. Will you have a name when we get home?

Simon Templar: I don't have a home.

Simon Templar: [[Thomas More] My name is ]. I was named after a Saint who died for his faith.

Simon Templar: If you think that by giving cold fusion to the world and giving up unimaginable wealth you'll make us happy, you're right.

Simon Templar: [[St. Augustine] Allow me to introduce myself. My name is August Christopher. I was named for ], who coined my favorite phrase, Give me chastity and give me constancy, but do not give it yet.

Simon Templar: [prepares to pick the lock on the door of a Russian government building, only to find it unlocked] I love this country.

Simon Templar: [[w:Bruno of Cologne|Saint] My name is Bruno Hautenfaust. I was named for a ] who was a very wealthy man. He had the wine, the women, the songs, the whole bit, and then inexplicably, took a vow of poverty and became a hermit. Ran off to live in the forest, in the nude.

Montgomery: Well, things didn't work out. Moreau wanted to turn animals into humans and humans into gods. But it's instinct and reason, instinct and reason. What's reason to a dog?

Azazello: To hunt. To kill, master. To run with the pack.

Montgomery: I wanna go to Dog Heaven!

Edward Douglas: Are you a doctor?

Montgomery: Well, I'm more of a vet.

Montgomery: [Imitating Dr. Moreau] And though I give my body to be burned and have not charity, I am nothing. And though... I give all my gifts to feed the poor, and though l give my body to be burned, and have not charity, I am nothing.

Montgomery: [Imitating Dr. Moreau] I destroyed the serum. All of it.

Montgomery: [Gone insane. Imitating Dr. Moreau] Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged. And with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye. Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam that is in thine own eye and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote of thy brother's eye. Neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet... and then, give not that which is holy unto the dogs.

Montgomery: [When Edward attempts to use a radio for help] Who do you think you're going to call, hmm? What are you going to say when you get someone on the horn? "Mayday, mayday, I'm being held by a pig lady"?

Montgomery: [On Dr. Moreau] Animal rights activists drove him out of the States. Got so bad, you couldn't cage a rat without reading him his rights.

Harry: [Lights a cigarette; Mimics the slapping] That's it. That's the true story of what happened last Christmas. That was some pretty harsh shit. The old guy back there, right? But, whatever, he's creepy, fuck him, don't worry bout him. Uh, anyhow, so, um, thanks for coming. Thanks for taking the trip to L.A. with me. Uh...I mean, if I have to-to sum it up, and I do, cause it's like, you know, the end, I would say this movie is...is about friendship. Friendship is...is...is sacred.

Gay Perry: What are you doing?

Harry: I'm just trying to wrap up the movie, and leave the people a message.

Gay Perry: Oh. Well, I got a message for ya: Get your feet off my fucking desk.

Harry: Sorry. I work for Perry now–

Gay Perry: [Covers Harry's mouth; to the audience; Uncovers Harry's mouth] And stop narrating. That's it, please stay for the end credits. If you're wondering who the best boy is, it's somebody's nephew. Um, don't forget to validate your parking, and to all you good people in the Midwest, sorry we said "fuck" so much. Say "Good night".

Harry: Thanks, again.

Gay Perry: [Turns off the camera] Now go. Vanish.

Harmony's Dad: Do I know you?

Gay Perry: No. Just in town for the funeral.

Harmony's Dad: What do you want?

Gay Perry: Well, I was going to go to the zoo, but it was closed, so I thought I'd come here and look at an animal.

Harmony's Dad: Son of a... Who do you think you're talking to? I buried my daughter today!

Gay Perry: No. You buried her twenty years ago. Harmony was right, her sister was murdered. You pulled the trigger. It just took this long for the bullet to hit.

Harmony's Dad: Who are you? I loved my girl.

Harmony's Dad: You fucker! If I could get out of this bed...

Gay Perry: Yeah? Well, you can't.

Harmony's Dad: You bastard! Old man that can't defend himself. Big tough guy.

Gay Perry: Yeah, that's right. Big tough guy.

Gay Perry: Is that the body?

Harry: No, that's the other corpse, from the last guy who stayed here.

Gay Perry: Fuck off.

Gay Perry: I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me?

Gunman: Fuck you. Anyway, that's ambiguous.

Gay Perry: Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so.

Harry: No, I think what he means is that when you say "Picture it inside your head", okay, is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it in your head.

Gay Perry: Harry, will you shut up...

Harry: Well, he's got a point.

Gunman: Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.

Harry: Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now.

Gay Perry: Harry, what are you doing?

Harry: [sticks one bullet in the cylinder and spins it] Well what I am doing for the guy who likes to bluff, is I am playing a little game called "Am I bluffing?" Where is she? Where the fuck is Harmony?

Gay Perry: Harry...

Harry: [spins the cylinder again; closes the cylinder] You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where is the girl!

Gay Perry: What...did you just do!?!?!

Harry: There was only one bullet in that, right?

Gay Perry: You put a live round into that gun?

Harry: Well, I didn't know, I thought there was like an...eight percent chance.

Gay Perry: Eight?

Harry: Eight...

Gay Perry: Eight!? Who taught you math!?

Harry: What is it out here with these women?

Harmony: Oh please, Harry, they're no different from anywhere else.

Harry: Yes, they are. These are damaged goods, every one of them, from way back. I'm telling you, you take a guy who sleeps with 100 women a year, go into his childhood - dollars to doughnuts, it's relatively unspectacular... Now, you take one of these... gals, who sleeps with 100 guys a year, and I bet you if you look in their childhood, there's something rotten in Denver.

Harmony: Denmark.

Harry: That too! But it's abandonment, it's abuse, it's, "My uncle put his ping-ping in my papa!"... and then they all come out here! I swear to God, it's like somebody took America by the East Coast, and shook it, and all the normal girls managed to hang on.

Harmony: OK, everyone who hates Harry raise your hand!

Gay Perry: See that? Obedient little bitches too.

Harry: Perry?

Gay Perry: Yeah?

Harry: I peed on it.

Gay Perry: What? You peed on what?

Harry: I peed on the corpse. Can they do, like, ID from that?

Gay Perry: I'm sorry, you peed on...?

Harry: On the corpse. My question is...

Gay Perry: No, my question, I get to go first: Why in pluperfect hell would you pee on a corpse?

Harry: I didn't intend to! It's not like I did it for kicks!

Gay Perry: Go. Sleep badly. Any questions, hesitate to call.

Harry: Bad.

Gay Perry: Excuse me?

Harry: Sleep bad. Otherwise, it makes it seem like the mechanism that allows you to sleep...

Gay Perry: What, fuckhead? Badly's an adverb. Who taught you grammar? Get out. Vanish.

Gay Perry: Look up idiot in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?

Harry: A picture of me?

Gay Perry: No! The definition of the word "idiot"! Which you fucking are!

Harry: Do you think I'm stupid?

Gay Perry: I don't think you'd know how to feed yourself, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes, I think you're stupid.

Gay Perry: Merry Christmas, sorry I fucked you over.

Harry: No problem. Don't quit your gay job.

Harry: Oh Wow. Woo. It's tiny. Is this real?

Gay Perry: Yeah, it's a Derringer. It's loaded. I call it my faggot gun.

Harry: Because...

Gay Perry: Because it's only good for a couple shots, then you gotta drop it for something better. You asked, chief.

Harry: Still gay?

Gay Perry: Me? No, I'm knee-deep in pussy. I just love the name so much I can't get rid of it.

Wyatt Earp: What makes a man like Ringo, Doc? What makes him do the things he does?

Doc Holliday: A man like Ringo has a great empty hole through the middle of him. He can never kill enough, or steal enough, or inflict enough pain to ever fill it.

Wyatt Earp: What does he need?

Doc Holliday: Revenge.

Wyatt Earp: For what?

Doc Holliday: Being born.

Jack Johnson: Doc, you ought to be in bed. What the hell you doin this for, anyway?

Doc Holliday: Wyatt Earp is my friend.

Jack Johnson: Hell, I've got lots of friends.

Doc Holliday: I don't.

Jack Johnson: Nobody move!

Doc Holliday: Nonsense! By all means, move.

Kate: I don't understand. I'm your woman, you get killed, where's it leave me?

Doc Holliday: Without a meal ticket I suppose.

Kate: ... You bastard.

Doc Holliday: I'm leaving now darling.

Kate: You bastard!

Doc Holliday: Have you no kind word to say to me before I ride away?

Doc Holliday: I calculate not.

Virgil Earp: What do you want, Ringo?

Johnny Ringo: I want your blood...and I want your souls. And I want em both right now.

Wyatt Earp: We don't want any more trouble.

Johnny Ringo: [points to Wyatt] Well, you've got trouble! And it starts with you.

Wyatt Earp: [opens his coat, showing he's not armed; Earp brothers start to walk away] I'm not gonna fight you, Ringo, there's no money in it. Sober up. C'mon boys.

Johnny Ringo: Wretched slugs. Don't any of you have the guts to play for blood?!

Doc Holliday: [steps forward, one gun in a shoulder holster in full view, holding his other behind his back] I'm your huckleberry. That's just my game.

Johnny Ringo: Alright, lunger, you go to hell. I'll put you outta your misery!

Doc Holliday: Say when!

Curly Bill: Johnny, don't!

Curly Bill: [chuckles] Don't mind him. He's just drunk, that's all.

Johnny Ringo: No! I want them spitting blood!

Curly Bill: [Johnny staggers away and runs into some coffins at the funeral parlor, knocking them over] Easy, son, easy. Now ain't the time! I tell you, boys, even I'm worried what's going to happen once Ringo runs this outfit. God have mercy!

Wyatt Earp: It's not your problem, Doc. You don't have to mix up in this.

Doc Holliday: [Glares at Wyatt] That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me!

Ike Clanton: What is that now? Twelve hands in a row? Holliday, son of a bitch, nobody's that lucky.

Doc Holliday: Why Ike, whatever do you mean? Maybe poker's just not your game Ike. I know! Let's have a spelling contest!

Curly Bill: Wyatt Earp, huh? Heard of you.

Ike Clanton: Listen now, Kansas Law Dog. Law don't go around here, savvy?

Wyatt Earp: I'm retired.

Curly Bill: Good. That's real good.

Ike Clanton: Yeah, yeah, that's real good, law dog. Cause the law just don't go around here.

Wyatt Earp: [draws a card, to Curly Bill; Morgan pays Curly Bill out] Yeah, I heard you the first time. Winner to the king. $500.

Curly Bill: Shut up, Ike.

Johnny Ringo: [steps up to Doc] And you must be Doc Holliday.

Doc Holliday: That's the rumor.

Johnny Ringo: You retired too?

Doc Holliday: Not me. I'm in my prime.

Johnny Ringo: Yeah, you look it.

Doc Holliday: And you must be Ringo. Look, darling, Johnny Ringo. The deadliest pistoleer since Wild Bill, they say. What do you think, darling? Should I hate him?

Kate: You don't even know him.

Doc Holliday: Yes, but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him.

Wyatt Earp: [to Ringo] He's drunk.

Doc Holliday: [When I drink, I say the truth] In vino veritas.

Johnny Ringo: [Do what you do best] Age quod agis.

Doc Holliday: [I don't believe drinking is what I do best] Credat Judaeus apella, non ego.

Johnny Ringo: [pats his gun; Fools must learn from experience] Eventus stultorum magister.

Doc Holliday: [smiles; It's your funeral] In pace requiescat.

Fred White: Come on boys. We don't want any trouble in here. Not in any language.

Doc Holliday: [to Kate] That's Latin, darlin'. Evidently Mr. Ringo's an educated man. Now I really hate him.

Doc Holliday: Why, Johnny Tyler! You madcap.

Johnny Tyler: [Freezes] ...Doc?

Doc Holliday: Where do you think you're going with that shotgun?

Johnny Tyler: ...I-I didn't know you was back in town!

Doc Holliday: Way ahead of yourselves, aren't you, boys? This is just another mining camp.

Behan: Have you seen how everyone dresses? Awful tony for a mining camp. No, sir, the die is cast. We are growing. Be as big as San Francisco in a few years and just as sophisticated.

Doc Holliday: [''smirking''] Very cosmopolitan.

Doc Holliday: You're no daisy, you're no daisy at all.

Doc Holliday: Why, Kate, you're not wearing a bustle. How lewd.

Doc Holliday: Oh, Johnny, I forgot you were there. You may go now.