Alice in Wonderland (1951) - Quotes

Taglines: A world of wonders in One Great Picture

The Queen of Hearts: [spotting Alice] There she goes. Don't let her get away. Off with her head!

The Doorknob: [tries to open the door] Doh! I'm still locked, you know!

Alice: [in horror] But the Queen! I simply must get out!

The Doorknob: [chuckles] But you are outside.

Alice: [releases her grip on the Doorknob] What?

The Doorknob: [opens his mouth; Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow] See for yourself.

Alice: Why, that's me! I'm asleep!

The Queen of Hearts: [shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other Wonderland characters] Don't let her get away! Off with her head!

Alice: [in terror, through the Doorknob's mouth] Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice!

The Queen of Hearts: [The mob comes closer; last words] Off with her head!

Alice: [as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice trying to push the mob away before sleeping by the tree] Alice! Please, wake up, Alice!

Alice: [voiceover] Alice! Alice! Alice!

Alice's Sister: [changes to her sister's] Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?

Alice: [waking up after escaping the mob] Hm? Oh! Oh, uh, how doth the little crocodile improve each shining tail and pour the waters of the--

Alice's Sister: Alice, what are you talking about?

Alice: Oh, I'm sorry. But you see, the Caterpillar said--

Alice's Sister: Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sakes. Alice, I... Oh, well. Come along, it's time for tea.

The Queen of Hearts: [after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the tapestry; RIP! The Queen's face covered by jam, seeing that Alice must have done this] Somebody's head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS! AH-HA!

Alice: [throws away the gavel and jam and stuffs her hands in her apron's pockets, which soon reveals she still has both parts of the mushroom; she quickly eats both parts] The mushroom!

The Queen of Hearts: [yelling; covers her mouth in shock as Alice is grown to the height of the courtroom] OFF WITH HER-!

Alice: [to the card guards, after she grows to the height of the courtroom] Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing, but a pack of cards.

The King of Hearts: [reading through a rulebook] Rule forty-two: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately!

Alice: I am not a mile high! And I’m not leaving.

The Queen of Hearts: [nervously] Sorry. Rule forty-two, you know.

Alice: [unaware that she is shrinking quickly; finally realizes she has shrunk down] Now, as for you, Your Majesty. Or Your Majesty, indeed. Why, you're not a queen. Why, you're just a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant.

The Queen of Hearts: [laughs evilly] And, what were you saying, my dear?

The Cheshire Cat: [appears suddenly, much to Alice's horror; disappears laughing] Well, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant!

The Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OFF WITH HER HEAD!

The King of Hearts: [uses his crown as a megaphone] You heard what Her Majesty said. Off with her head.

The Queen of Hearts: [yelling] OFF WITH YOUR HAT!

The Mad Hatter: [takes his hat off which reveals a teapot and teacup; giggles] Oh, my!

The King of Hearts: Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?

The Mad Hatter: [pours tea into a cup and drinks tea] I was home drinking tea. Today, you know, was my unbirthday.

The King of Hearts: Why, my dear, today is YOUR unbirthday, too!

The Queen of Hearts: It is?

The March Hare: It is?

The Card Guards: [Much to Alice's horror] IT IS???

The White Rabbit: Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects... and the King... the prisoner at the bar stands accused of enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, thereby and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved...

The Queen of Hearts: Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.

The White Rabbit: ...Thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.

The Queen of Hearts: [to Alice] Now, are you ready for your sentence?

Alice: Sentence? But there has to be a verdict first...

The Queen of Hearts: Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.

Alice: But that just isn't the way...

The Queen of Hearts: [shouting] All ways are...!

Alice: ...Your ways, Your Majesty.

The Queen of Hearts: [giggles; yelling] Yes, my child. OFF WITH HER-! Huh?

The King of Hearts: Consider, my dear. We called no witnesses. Couldn't we hear... maybe one or two, huh? Maybe...?

The Queen of Hearts: [yelling] Oh, very well. BUT GET ON WITH IT!

The King of Hearts: First witness. Herald, call the first witness.

The White Rabbit: The March Hare.

The King of Hearts: What do you know about this unfortunate affair?

The March Hare: Nothing.

The Queen of Hearts: Nothing whatever?

The March Hare: Nothing whatever!

The Queen of Hearts: THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT! Jury, write that down!

The Queen of Hearts: Off with his head!

The King of Hearts: Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the Queen. Uh, you heard what Her Majesty said.

The White Rabbit: [The crowd cheers] Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace, Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts! ...And the King.

The Card: Hooray!

The Queen of Hearts: Hmm! Who's been painting my roses red? WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.

The Card Painter: Oh, no, Your Majesty, please! It's all his fault!

The Card Painter: Not me, your grace! The Ace, the Ace!

The Queen of Hearts: You?

The Card Painter: No, Deuce!

The Queen of Hearts: The Deuce, you say?

The Card Painter: Not me! The 3!

The Queen of Hearts: That's enough! Off with their heads!

The Card Guards: [singing] They're going to lose their heads for painting the roses red. It serves them right, they planted white and roses should be red. They're going to lose their heads.

The Queen of Hearts: Silence!

Alice: Oh, please, they were only trying...

The Queen of Hearts: And who is this?

The King of Hearts: Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?

The Queen of Hearts: Why, it's a little girl.

Alice: Yes. And I was hoping...

The Queen of Hearts: Look up. Speak nicely. And don't twiddle your fingers. Turn out your toes. Curtsy. Open your mouth a little wider. And always say, Yes, Your Majesty.

Alice: Yes, Your Majesty.

The Queen of Hearts: Now, where d'you come from and where are you going?

Alice: I'm trying to find my way home.

The Queen of Hearts: Your way? All ways here are my ways!

Alice: Yes, I know. But I was just thinking...

The Queen of Hearts: Curtsy while you're thinking. It saves time.

Alice: Yes, Your Majesty. But I was only going to ask...

The Queen of Hearts: I'll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?

Alice: Yes, Your Majesty.

The Queen of Hearts: Then let the game begin!

Alice: [singing] Painting the roses red...

The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: [singing] We're painting the roses red. Don't tell the Queen what you have seen or say that's what we said, but we're painting the roses red.

Alice: Yes, painting the roses red.

The Card Painter: Not pink!

The Card Painter: Not green!

Alice: Not aquamarine!

The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: We're painting the roses red!

The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / We dare to stop or waste a drop / So let the paint be spread / We're painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / Bum bum bum bum / Oh-h-h-h / Painting the roses red / And many a tear we shed

The Card Painter: Because we know

The Card Painter, the Card Painter: They'll cease to grow

The Card Painter: In fact, they'll soon be dead

The Card Painter, the Card Painter: Oh!

The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter: And yet we got ahead / Painting the roses red / Red, red, red, red / Red, red, red, red / Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red...

Alice: [singing] Oh, pardon me, but, Mr. 3 / Why must you paint them red?

Alice: [sighs; sings; begins to cry; cries harder; continues crying] Oh, dear. Now, I shall never get out. Well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. But who'd ever think to look for me here? Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice. But I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I'm always in. Be patient, is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I'd love the change. Should something strange begin? Well... I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should've known there'd be a price to pay, someday... Someday... I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it! Will I ever learn to do the things I should?

The Chorus: Will I ever learn / learn to do the things I should?

The Cheshire Cat: [singing in disappear] Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm / And the mome raths outgrabe

Alice: Oh, Cheshire Cat, it's you!

The Cheshire Cat: Whom did you expect? The white rabbit, perchance?

Alice: [blows nose] Oh, no, no, no. I'm through with rabbits. I want to go home! But I can't find my way.

The Cheshire Cat: [Ominously] Naturally. That's because you have no way. All ways here you see, are the QUEEN'S ways!

Alice: But I've never met any queen.

The Cheshire Cat: [chuckles, then rolls over and almost disappears] You haven't? You haven't? Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you, simply mad! The mome raths outgrabe...

Alice: Please, please! How can I find her?

The Cheshire Cat: Well, some go this way, and some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the short-cut.

The Mad Hatter: [after they have restrained the Dormouse] Ah, thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!

The March Hare: See all the trouble you started?

Alice: But I didn't think...

The March Hare: Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.

The Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean up. Move down, move down, move down.

Alice: But I still haven't used...

The March Hare: Move down, move down, move down, move down.

The Mad Hatter: And now, my dear, as you were saying...?

Alice: Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with you know who.

The Mad Hatter: I do?

Alice: I mean my C-A-T.

The Mad Hatter: Tea?

The March Hare: Just half a cup, if you don't mind.

The Mad Hatter: What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea?

Alice: Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-

The March Hare: If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!

Alice: [frustrated] Well, I've been trying to ask you-

The March Hare: I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.

The Mad Hatter: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Alice: [to herself] Riddles? Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?

The Mad Hatter: I beg your pardon?

Alice: Why is a raven like a writing desk?

The Mad Hatter: [shocked] Why is a... WHAT?!

The March Hare: [nervously] Careful, SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD!

Alice: But it's your silly riddle. You just said...

The Mad Hatter: [nervously] Easy, don't get excited!

The March Hare: [trying to make peace with Alice] How about a nice cup of tea?

Alice: [angrily] Have a cup of tea", indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time!

The March Hare: THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?

The White Rabbit: No time, no time, no time! Hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late.

Alice: The White Rabbit!

The White Rabbit: I'm so late! I'm so very late.

The Mad Hatter: [snatching the White Rabbit's Watch] Well, no wonder you're late! Why, this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!

The White Rabbit: Two days slow?

The Mad Hatter: [chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea; places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece; starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork] Of course you're late! MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. AHA! I see what's wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!

The White Rabbit: [shocked] OH, MY POOR WATCH! OH, MY WHEELS AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but-

The Mad Hatter: BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!

The March Hare: [shouts into the White Rabbit's ear] BUTTER!

The White Rabbit: [confused] Butter?

The Mad Hatter: Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha-ha! Yes! That's FINE!

The White Rabbit: Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!

The Mad Hatter: [throws butter in the White Rabbit's face] Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! What are you talking about?

The March Hare: Tea?

The Mad Hatter: Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE! TEA! HE-HE-HE!

The White Rabbit: [shocked] NO! NO! NOT TEA!

The March Hare: Sugar?

The Mad Hatter: [jams the spoons straight into the watch] SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, yes!

The White Rabbit: [shocked] Oh please, BE CAREUL!

The March Hare: JAM?

The Mad Hatter: JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM! Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.

The White Rabbit: No! No! Not jam!

The March Hare: MUSTARD?

The Mad Hatter: [watch starts going crazy] Mustard! Yes... What? MUSTARD?! Don't let's be silly! Lemon, that's different, there. THAT should do it! Hahaha! LOOK AT THAT!

The March Hare: IT'S GOING MAD!

Alice: OH, MY GOODNESS!

The White Rabbit: OH, DEAR!

The March Hare: IT IS GOING MAD! MAD WATCH!

The Mad Hatter: I DON'T UNDERSTAND, IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!

The March Hare: MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!

The Mad Hatter: OH, LOOK! OH, MY GOODNESS!

The March Hare: [smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again] THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH!

The Mad Hatter: Two days slow. That's what it is.

The White Rabbit: Oh, my watch...

The Mad Hatter: It was?

The White Rabbit: And it was an unbirthday present, too.

The March Hare: Well, in that case...

The Mad Hatter and March Hare: [sings both] A very merry unbirthday to you!

Alice: Oh, that was lovely.

The Mad Hatter: And now, my dear... You were saying that you would like to see... Pardon me. You were seeking some information of some kind?

Alice: Oh, yes. You see, I'm looking for a...

The Mad Hatter: Clean cup, clean cup. Move down.

Alice: But I haven't used my cup.

The March Hare: Clean cup, clean cup, move down, move down. Clean cup, clean cup, move down.

The Mad Hatter: Would you like a little more tea?

Alice: Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.

The March Hare: Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.

The Mad Hatter: Yes. You can always take more than nothing.

Alice: But I only meant that...

The Mad Hatter: And now, my dear... Something seems to be troubling you. Won't you tell us all about it?

The March Hare: Start at the beginning.

The Mad Hatter: Yes. And when you come to the end... stop. See?

The March Hare and the Mad Hatter: [run over to Alice] No room! No room! No room!

Alice: I thought there was plenty of room.

The March Hare: Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited.

The Mad Hatter: I'll say it's rude. It's very, very rude indeed.

The Dormouse: Very, very rude indeed.

Alice: I'm very sorry. But I did enjoy your singing, and I wonder if you could tell me…

The March Hare: You enjoyed our singing?

The Mad Hatter: Oh, what a delightful little child! I'm so excited. We never get compliments. You must have a cup of tea.

The March Hare: Ah, yes, indeed. The tea. You must have a cup of tea.

Alice: [March Hare offers her a cup of tea] That would be very nice. I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.

The March Hare: [yanks her teacup away] Birthday? Ha-ha-ha. My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party!

The Mad Hatter: Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.

Alice: Unbirthday? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.

The March Hare: [laughs] It's very simple. Now, 30 days has Septem -No, wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then, you- She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.

The Mad Hatter: How silly. I shall elucidate.

Alice: Let's see. Where was I? I wonder which way I ought to go.

The Cheshire Cat: [singing] Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

Alice: Now, where in the world do you suppose that...?

The Cheshire Cat: Lose something?

Alice: [turns around to find just the Cat's smile talking to her] Oh! Uh, hehe, no, no, I mean, I was just wondering...

The Cheshire Cat: [Two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and play harmonica notes. The full cat form appears; singing] Oh, that's quite alright. One moment please. Second chorus. Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

Alice: Why, you're a cat!

The Cheshire Cat: [starts to disappear] A Cheshire Cat. All mimsy were the borogroves...

Alice: Oh, wait! Don't go, please!

The Cheshire Cat: [reappears] There you are! Third chorus...

Alice: Oh, no, no. Thank you, but I just wanted to ask which way I ought to go.

The Cheshire Cat: Well, that depends on where you ought to get to.

Alice: Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as I...

The Cheshire Cat: [disappears, singing a tune; reappears on another tree branch] Then it really doesn't matter which way you go. All mimsy were the borogoves, And the momeraths outgrabe. Oh by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.

Alice: Who did?

The Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit.

Alice: He did?

The Cheshire Cat: He did what?

Alice: He went that way.

The Cheshire Cat: Who did?

Alice: The white rabbit!

The Cheshire Cat: What rabbit?

Alice: But didn't you just say? I mean- Oh, dear!

The Cheshire Cat: Can you stand on your head? However, if I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.

Alice: The Mad Hatter? Oh, no, no, no...

The Cheshire Cat: Or, there's the March Hare, in that direction.

Alice: Oh, thank you. I think I shall visit him...

The Cheshire Cat: Of course, he's mad, too.

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people!

The Cheshire Cat: [laughs maniacally and begins to disappear; laughs creepily as he fades away] Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. You may have noticed that I'm not ALL THERE myself, And the mome raths outgrabe!

Alice: Goodness. If the people here are like that, I must try not to upset them.

The Caterpillar: [meeting Alice] Who are you?

Alice: I hardly know, sir. I've changed so many times since this morning, you see...

The Caterpillar: I do not see. Explain yourself.

Alice: I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know.

The Caterpillar: I do not know.

Alice: Well, I can't put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to me.

The Caterpillar: You? Who are you?

Alice: [coughs from the smoke] Well, don't you think you should tell me... Who, you are first?

The Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.

The Caterpillar: It is not.

Alice: Well, it is to me.

The Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, I can't remember things like I used to, and...

The Caterpillar: Recite.

Alice: Hm? Oh! Oh, yes, sir. Um, how doth the little bumblebee improve each...

The Caterpillar: [realizes nothing is coming out of his pipe and notices one of his set of hands grasping on the tube, clogging it; he slaps the hands to get it off the pipe; Alice giggles a bit, but the Caterpillar gives Alice a displeasing look; shakes a bit. He notices one set of feet teetering on the leaf he's sitting on; he grabs them and puts them back on the leaf with a grumble; Alice giggles again; looks at Alice] Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: "How-" "How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer- How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.

Alice: Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.

The Caterpillar: [blows smoke in Alice's face; she coughs] I know. I have improved it.

Alice: Well, if you ask me...

The Caterpillar: [scoffs; Alice coughs as her head is enveloped in smoke. Fed up with the Caterpillar's nonsense, she storms off before stopping to kick a cloud of smoke off her shoe. She turns back to face the Caterpillar and leaves, her head turned up. He notices Alice leaving] You? Who are you? You there. Little girl, wait! Come back! I have something important to say!

Alice: [She returns to the Caterpillar, blowing a smoke arrow at a smoke target] Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now... Well?

The Caterpillar: Keep your temper.

Alice: Is that all?

The Caterpillar: No. Exactly, what is your problem?

Alice: Well, it's precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.

The Caterpillar: Why?

Alice: Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...

The Caterpillar: [suddenly angry; starts smoking his hookah faster and faster until he is enveloped in black smoke] I am exactly three inches high, and it is a very good height, indeed!

Alice: [she blows the cloud away as she says this, showing the Caterpillar's skin, shoes, hands, and hookah laying there] But I'm not used to it. And you needn't shout! Oh, dear.

The Caterpillar: [now a butterfly] By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...

Alice: One side of what?

The Butterfly: [he flies away] ...And the other side will make you grow shorter.

Alice: [shouting] The other side of what?

The Butterfly: [equally as loud; hostile] THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!

Pat the Dodo: [singing] We'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!

The White Rabbit: [singing; realizes what he just sang] We'll smoke the monster out... NO! No-ho! My poor house and furniture!

The White Rabbit: Oh! Bill! Bill, we need a lizard with a ladder. Can you help us?

Bill the Lizard: At your service, gov'nor.

Pat the Dodo: Bill, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?

Bill the Lizard: Why, gov'nor, I've been down more chimneys...

Pat the Dodo: Excellent, excellent. Now, just hop down the chimney and pull that monster out of there.

Bill the Lizard: Righto, gov'nor... Monster? Aaaaah!

The White Rabbit: Why, Mary-Ann! What are you doing out here?

Alice: Mary-Ann?

The White Rabbit: Don't just do something, stand there... Uh... no, no! Go, go! Go get my gloves! I'm late!

Alice: But late for what? That's just what I...

The White Rabbit: [Blows trumpet] My gloves! At once, do you hear!?

Alice: Goodness. I suppose I'll be taking orders from Dinah next.

Alice: [after the Walrus and the Carpenter song] That was a very sad story.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum: Aye, but there's a moral to it.

Alice: Oh, yes, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.

Alice: [upon seeing Tweedledee and Tweedledum] Mr. Rabbit. Oh, Mr. Rabbit. Oh, dear. I'm sure he came this way. Do you suppose he could be hiding? Hmm. Not here. I wonder... No. I suppose he must have... Why, what peculiar little figures. "Tweedledee," and "Tweedledum.

Tweedledum: [honk] If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know.

Tweedledee: [beep] Contrariwise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us.

Tweedledee and Tweedledum: That's logic.

Alice: Well... It's been nice meeting you. Goodbye.

Tweedledee: You're beginning backwards.

Tweedledum: The first thing in a visit is to say...

Tweedledee and Tweedledum: [singing together; both spoken] How d'ya do? And shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How d'ya do? And shake hands and state your name and business. That's manners!

Alice: [runs up to the small door by pulling back the curtains and turns the Doorknob, it starts talking] Curiouser and curiouser.

The Doorknob: D'ooooh!

Alice: Oh! I beg your pardon...

The Doorknob: Whew. Quite alright, but you did give me quite a turn.

Alice: You see, I was following...

The Doorknob: Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn?

Alice: Please, sir.

The Doorknob: Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?

Alice: I'm looking for a white rabbit. So, if you don't mind...

The Doorknob: Eh? Oh.

Alice: [looking through the Doorknob's keyhole] There he is! I simply must get through.

The Doorknob: Sorry. You're much too big. Simply impassable.

Alice: You mean "impossible"?

The Doorknob: No, impassable. Nothing's impossible. Why don't you try the bottle on the table?

Alice: [a table and a small bottle magically appear out of the shadows] Table? Oh!

The Doorknob: Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.

Alice: [reading the bottle's label; uncorks the bottle] Drink Me." Hm, better look first. For if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.

The Doorknob: Beg your pardon?

Alice: [laughs; sighs; drinks from the bottle; unknowingly shrinks down to the size of the table; takes another sip; shrinks down again, barely holding onto the bottle; takes another drink; shrinks down so much, she's now even smaller than the bottle itself and struggling with its weight; finally aware of the potion's effect; unable to support the bottle any longer, slips and drops it] I was just giving myself some good advice. But... Mmm... tastes like, uh... cherry tart. Custard. Pineapple. Roast turkey… Goodness! What did I do?!

The Doorknob: [chuckles] You almost went out like a candle!

Alice: [runs up to the Doorknob; delighted] But look! I'm just the right size!

The Doorknob: [laughs] No use. I forgot to tell you. I'm locked!

Alice: Oh, no!

The Doorknob: [stops laughing] But of course, you've got the key.

Alice: What key?

The Doorknob: Now, don't tell me you've left it up there.

Alice: [Alice fails to reach it when she tries to climb up] Oh, dear! Whatever will I do?

The Doorknob: Try the box, naturally.

Alice: [opens the lid, revealing cookies labeled, "Eat Me"; takes one; takes a bite and grows bigger as she hits her head on the ceiling] Oh. "Eat Me." All right. But goodness knows what this will do. What did you say?

The Doorknob: [laughs] I said a little of that went a long way.

Alice's Sister: [reading from a history book; camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and making a chain of daisies] ...Who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand..." Alice?

Alice: Hmm? Oh, I'm listening.

Alice's Sister: [Alice laughs as her daisy crown falls on her face] And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate." Alice, will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?

Alice: I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?

Alice's Sister: My dear child, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures.

Alice: In this world, perhaps, but in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.

Alice's Sister: Your world? Huh! What nonsense. Now, once more, from the beginning.

Alice: [getting inspiration; to her cat, Dinah; Dinah meows to her, shaking her head; Dinah meows as Alice picks her up] Nonsense? That's it, Dinah. If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? In my world, you wouldn't say "meow". You'd say, "Yes, Miss. Alice". Oh, but you would. You'd be just like people, Dinah. And all the other animals, too. Why, in my world... Cats and rabbits / would reside in fancy little houses, / and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers. / In a world of my own... / All the flowers / would have very extra special powers. / They would sit and talk to me for hours / when I'm lonely in a world of my own. / There'd be new birds, / lots of nice and friendly how-de-do birds. / Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds / within that world of my own. / I could listen to a babbling brook and hear a song that I could understand. / I keep wishing it could be that way / because my world would be a Wonderland.

Alice: [Dinah meows to her] Oh, Dinah. It's just a rabbit with a waistcoat... and a watch!

The White Rabbit: Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!

Alice: [running after him] Now, this is curious. What could a rabbit possibly be late for? Please, sir!

The White Rabbit: I'm late, I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say "hello". Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

Alice: It must be awfully important, like a party or something. Mr. Rabbit. Wait!

The White Rabbit: No, no, no, I'm overdue. I'm really in a stew. No time to say goodbye, hello. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

The Queen of Hearts: And, what were you saying, my dear?

The Queen of Hearts: [repeated line] Off with her head!

Alice: [to the pink flamingo mallet] Do you want us both to lose our heads?!

Alice: It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.

Alice: [while crawling through the rabbit hole; As Alice finishes her sentence, she falls down the hole; while magically floating down the rabbit hole] My, what a peculiar place to have a party. You know, Dinah, we really shouldn't be doing this. After all, we've haven't been invited, and curiosity often leads to trouble! Goodbye, Dinah. Goodbye! Well! After this, I shall think nothing of falling down stairs. Goodness. What if I should fall right through the center of the Earth... And come out the other side where people walk upside down? But that's silly.