27 quotes
A Curious Conversation About Tea and Information
Alice
Oh, that was lovely.
The Mad Hatter
And now, my dear... You were saying that you would like to see... Pardon me. You were seeking some information of some kind?
Alice
Oh, yes. You see, I'm looking for a...
The Mad Hatter
Clean cup, clean cup. Move down.
Alice
But I haven't used my cup.
The March Hare
Clean cup, clean cup, move down, move down. Clean cup, clean cup, move down.
The Mad Hatter
Would you like a little more tea?
Alice
Well, I haven't had any yet, so I can't very well take more.
The March Hare
Ah, you mean you can't very well take less.
The Mad Hatter
Yes. You can always take more than nothing.
Alice
But I only meant that...
The Mad Hatter
And now, my dear... Something seems to be troubling you. Won't you tell us all about it?
The March Hare
Start at the beginning.
The Mad Hatter
Yes. And when you come to the end... stop. See?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moral in a Sad Story
Alice
That was a very sad story.
[after the Walrus and the Carpenter song]
Tweedledee and Tweedledum
Aye, but there's a moral to it.
Alice
Oh, yes, a very good moral, if you happen to be an oyster.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion and Chaos in Wonderland
The Queen of Hearts
There she goes. Don't let her get away. Off with her head!
[spotting Alice]
The Doorknob
Doh! I'm still locked, you know!
[tries to open the door]
Alice
But the Queen! I simply must get out!
[in horror]
The Doorknob
But you are outside.
[chuckles]
Alice
What?
[releases her grip on the Doorknob]
The Doorknob
See for yourself.
[opens his mouth; Alice sees through his mouth and sees herself asleep with Dinah also sleeping on her lap by a tree in a beautiful meadow]
Alice
Why, that's me! I'm asleep!
The Queen of Hearts
Don't let her get away! Off with her head!
[shouting from a distance, advancing toward Alice along with a mob of other Wonderland characters]
Alice
Alice, wake up! Please, wake up, Alice!
[in terror, through the Doorknob's mouth]
The Queen of Hearts
Off with her head!
[The mob comes closer; last words]
Alice
Alice! Please, wake up, Alice!
[as the mob draws nearer, the screen goes into swirling multicolor until it shows Alice trying to push the mob away before sleeping by the tree]
Alice
Alice! Alice! Alice!
[voiceover]
Alice's Sister
Alice! Alice! Will you kindly pay attention and recite your lesson?
[changes to her sister's]
Alice
Hm? Oh! Oh, uh, how doth the little crocodile improve each shining tail and pour the waters of the--
[waking up after escaping the mob]
Alice's Sister
Alice, what are you talking about?
Alice
Oh, I'm sorry. But you see, the Caterpillar said--
Alice's Sister
Caterpillar? Oh, for goodness sakes. Alice, I... Oh, well. Come along, it's time for tea.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Royal Decree of Punishment
The Queen of Hearts
Off with his head!
The King of Hearts
Off with his head. Off with his head. By order of the Queen. Uh, you heard what Her Majesty said.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Thoughtless Conversation
The Mad Hatter
Ah, thank goodness! Those are the things that upset me!
[after they have restrained the Dormouse]
The March Hare
See all the trouble you started?
Alice
But I didn't think...
The March Hare
Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
The Mad Hatter
Clean cup, clean up. Move down, move down, move down.
Alice
But I still haven't used...
The March Hare
Move down, move down, move down, move down.
The Mad Hatter
And now, my dear, as you were saying...?
Alice
Oh, yes. I was sitting on the riverbank with you know who.
The Mad Hatter
I do?
Alice
I mean my C-A-T.
The Mad Hatter
Tea?
The March Hare
Just half a cup, if you don't mind.
The Mad Hatter
What's the matter, my dear? Don't you care for tea?
Alice
Why, yes. I'm very fond of tea, but-
The March Hare
If you don't care for tea, you could at least make polite conversation!
Alice
Well, I've been trying to ask you-
[frustrated]
The March Hare
I have an excellent idea. Let's change the subject.
The Mad Hatter
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Alice
Riddles? Let me see. Why is a raven like a writing desk?
[to herself]
The Mad Hatter
I beg your pardon?
Alice
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
The Mad Hatter
Why is a... WHAT?!
[shocked]
The March Hare
Careful, SHE'S STARK RAVING MAD!
[nervously]
Alice
But it's your silly riddle. You just said...
The Mad Hatter
Easy, don't get excited!
[nervously]
The March Hare
How about a nice cup of tea?
[trying to make peace with Alice]
Alice
Have a cup of tea", indeed! Well, I'M sorry, but I just HAVEN'T the time!
[angrily]
The March Hare
THE TIME! THE TIME! WHO'S GOT THE TIME?
The White Rabbit
No time, no time, no time! Hello, goodbye, I'm late, I'm late.
Alice
The White Rabbit!
The White Rabbit
I'm so late! I'm so very late.
The Mad Hatter
Well, no wonder you're late! Why, this clock is EXACTLY two days slow!
[snatching the White Rabbit's Watch]
The White Rabbit
Two days slow?
The Mad Hatter
Of course you're late! MY GOODNESS! We'll have to look into this. AHA! I see what's wrong with it! Why, this watch is full of wheels!
[chuckles as he dunks the watch in the tea; places a salt shaker over his eye and uses it as a jeweler's eyepiece; starts to pry parts out of the watch with a fork]
The White Rabbit
OH, MY POOR WATCH! OH, MY WHEELS AND SPRINGS! But-but-but-but-but-but-
[shocked]
The Mad Hatter
BUTTER! Of course! It NEEDS some butter. BUTTER!
The March Hare
BUTTER!
[shouts into the White Rabbit's ear]
The White Rabbit
Butter?
[confused]
The Mad Hatter
Butter! Oh, thank you! Ha-ha! Yes! That's FINE!
The White Rabbit
Oh, no, no! No, no! No! You'll get crumbs in it!
The Mad Hatter
Oh, THIS is the VERY BEST butter! What are you talking about?
[throws butter in the White Rabbit's face]
The March Hare
Tea?
The Mad Hatter
Oh, tea! I never THOUGHT of tea before! OF COURSE! TEA! HE-HE-HE!
The White Rabbit
NO! NO! NOT TEA!
[shocked]
The March Hare
Sugar?
The Mad Hatter
SUGAR! TWO SPOONS! Yes, ha, TWO SPOONS thank you, yes!
[jams the spoons straight into the watch]
The White Rabbit
Oh please, BE CAREUL!
[shocked]
The March Hare
JAM?
The Mad Hatter
JAM! I FORGOT ALL ABOUT JAM! Yes, sure you want. It's nice to see.
The White Rabbit
No! No! Not jam!
The March Hare
MUSTARD?
The Mad Hatter
Mustard! Yes... What? MUSTARD?! Don't let's be silly! Lemon, that's different, there. THAT should do it! Hahaha! LOOK AT THAT!
[watch starts going crazy]
The March Hare
IT'S GOING MAD!
Alice
OH, MY GOODNESS!
The White Rabbit
OH, DEAR!
The March Hare
IT IS GOING MAD! MAD WATCH!
The Mad Hatter
I DON'T UNDERSTAND, IT'S THE BEST BUTTER!
The March Hare
MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH! MAD WATCH!
The Mad Hatter
OH, LOOK! OH, MY GOODNESS!
The March Hare
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP A MAD WATCH!
[smashes watch with a mallet; scene changes from color to black and white, then color again]
The Mad Hatter
Two days slow. That's what it is.
The White Rabbit
Oh, my watch...
The Mad Hatter
It was?
The White Rabbit
And it was an unbirthday present, too.
The March Hare
Well, in that case...
The Mad Hatter and March Hare
A very merry unbirthday to you!
[sings both]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Alice's Reflections on Curiosity and Adventure
Alice
My, what a peculiar place to have a party. You know, Dinah, we really shouldn't be doing this. After all, we've haven't been invited, and curiosity often leads to trouble! Goodbye, Dinah. Goodbye! Well! After this, I shall think nothing of falling down stairs. Goodness. What if I should fall right through the center of the Earth... And come out the other side where people walk upside down? But that's silly.
[while crawling through the rabbit hole; As Alice finishes her sentence, she falls down the hole; while magically floating down the rabbit hole]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Queen's Harsh Command
The Queen of Hearts
Off with her head!
[repeated line]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Queen's Fury Over Painted Roses
The White Rabbit
Her Imperial Highness, Her Grace, Her Excellency, Her Royal Majesty, the Queen of Hearts! ...And the King.
[The crowd cheers]
The Card
Hooray!
The Queen of Hearts
Hmm! Who's been painting my roses red? WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED? /Who dares to taint / With vulgar paint / The royal flower bed? / For painting my roses red / Someone will lose his head.
The Card Painter
Oh, no, Your Majesty, please! It's all his fault!
The Card Painter
Not me, your grace! The Ace, the Ace!
The Queen of Hearts
You?
The Card Painter
No, Deuce!
The Queen of Hearts
The Deuce, you say?
The Card Painter
Not me! The 3!
The Queen of Hearts
That's enough! Off with their heads!
The Card Guards
They're going to lose their heads for painting the roses red. It serves them right, they planted white and roses should be red. They're going to lose their heads.
[singing]
The Queen of Hearts
Silence!
Alice
Oh, please, they were only trying...
The Queen of Hearts
And who is this?
The King of Hearts
Let me see, my dear. It's certainly not a heart. Do you suppose it's a club?
The Queen of Hearts
Why, it's a little girl.
Alice
Yes. And I was hoping...
The Queen of Hearts
Look up. Speak nicely. And don't twiddle your fingers. Turn out your toes. Curtsy. Open your mouth a little wider. And always say, Yes, Your Majesty.
Alice
Yes, Your Majesty.
The Queen of Hearts
Now, where d'you come from and where are you going?
Alice
I'm trying to find my way home.
The Queen of Hearts
Your way? All ways here are my ways!
Alice
Yes, I know. But I was just thinking...
The Queen of Hearts
Curtsy while you're thinking. It saves time.
Alice
Yes, Your Majesty. But I was only going to ask...
The Queen of Hearts
I'll ask the questions! Do you play croquet?
Alice
Yes, Your Majesty.
The Queen of Hearts
Then let the game begin!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of Engaging History Without Imagery
Alice's Sister
...Who wanted leaders, and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the Earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him: and even Stigand..." Alice?
[reading from a history book; camera zooms out to show Alice sitting in a tree, playing with Dinah and making a chain of daisies]
Alice
Hmm? Oh, I'm listening.
Alice's Sister
And even Stigand, the archbishop of Canterbury, agreed to meet with William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate." Alice, will you kindly pay attention to your history lesson?
[Alice laughs as her daisy crown falls on her face]
Alice
I'm sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?
Alice's Sister
My dear child, there are a great many good books in this world without pictures.
Alice
In this world, perhaps, but in my world, the books would be nothing but pictures.
Alice's Sister
Your world? Huh! What nonsense. Now, once more, from the beginning.
Alice
Nonsense? That's it, Dinah. If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrariwise, what it is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? In my world, you wouldn't say "meow". You'd say, "Yes, Miss. Alice". Oh, but you would. You'd be just like people, Dinah. And all the other animals, too. Why, in my world... Cats and rabbits / would reside in fancy little houses, / and be dressed in shoes and hats and trousers. / In a world of my own... / All the flowers / would have very extra special powers. / They would sit and talk to me for hours / when I'm lonely in a world of my own. / There'd be new birds, / lots of nice and friendly how-de-do birds. / Everyone would have a dozen bluebirds / within that world of my own. / I could listen to a babbling brook and hear a song that I could understand. / I keep wishing it could be that way / because my world would be a Wonderland.
[getting inspiration; to her cat, Dinah; Dinah meows to her, shaking her head; Dinah meows as Alice picks her up]
Alice
Oh, Dinah. It's just a rabbit with a waistcoat... and a watch!
[Dinah meows to her]
The White Rabbit
Oh, my fur and whiskers! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!
Alice
Now, this is curious. What could a rabbit possibly be late for? Please, sir!
[running after him]
The White Rabbit
I'm late, I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say "hello". Goodbye. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
Alice
It must be awfully important, like a party or something. Mr. Rabbit. Wait!
The White Rabbit
No, no, no, I'm overdue. I'm really in a stew. No time to say goodbye, hello. I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity and Transformation in Wonderland
The Caterpillar
Who are you?
[meeting Alice]
Alice
I hardly know, sir. I've changed so many times since this morning, you see...
The Caterpillar
I do not see. Explain yourself.
Alice
I'm afraid I can't explain myself, sir, because I'm not myself, you know.
The Caterpillar
I do not know.
Alice
Well, I can't put it any more clearly, sir, for it isn't clear to me.
The Caterpillar
You? Who are you?
Alice
Well, don't you think you should tell me... Who, you are first?
[coughs from the smoke]
The Caterpillar
Why?
Alice
Oh, dear, everything is so confusing.
The Caterpillar
It is not.
Alice
Well, it is to me.
The Caterpillar
Why?
Alice
Well, I can't remember things like I used to, and...
The Caterpillar
Recite.
Alice
Hm? Oh! Oh, yes, sir. Um, how doth the little bumblebee improve each...
The Caterpillar
Stop. That is not spoken correctically. It goes: "How-" "How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail. And pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale. How cheer- How cheerfully he seems to grin, how neatly spreads his claws. And welcomes little fishes in, with gently smiling jaws.
[realizes nothing is coming out of his pipe and notices one of his set of hands grasping on the tube, clogging it; he slaps the hands to get it off the pipe; Alice giggles a bit, but the Caterpillar gives Alice a displeasing look; shakes a bit. He notices one set of feet teetering on the leaf he's sitting on; he grabs them and puts them back on the leaf with a grumble; Alice giggles again; looks at Alice]
Alice
Well, I must say, I've never heard it that way before.
The Caterpillar
I know. I have improved it.
[blows smoke in Alice's face; she coughs]
Alice
Well, if you ask me...
The Caterpillar
You? Who are you? You there. Little girl, wait! Come back! I have something important to say!
[scoffs; Alice coughs as her head is enveloped in smoke. Fed up with the Caterpillar's nonsense, she storms off before stopping to kick a cloud of smoke off her shoe. She turns back to face the Caterpillar and leaves, her head turned up. He notices Alice leaving]
Alice
Oh dear. I wonder what he wants now... Well?
[She returns to the Caterpillar, blowing a smoke arrow at a smoke target]
The Caterpillar
Keep your temper.
Alice
Is that all?
The Caterpillar
No. Exactly, what is your problem?
Alice
Well, it's precisely this. I should like to be a little larger, sir.
The Caterpillar
Why?
Alice
Well, after all, three inches is such a wretched height, and...
The Caterpillar
I am exactly three inches high, and it is a very good height, indeed!
[suddenly angry; starts smoking his hookah faster and faster until he is enveloped in black smoke]
Alice
But I'm not used to it. And you needn't shout! Oh, dear.
[she blows the cloud away as she says this, showing the Caterpillar's skin, shoes, hands, and hookah laying there]
The Caterpillar
By the way, I have a few more helpful hints. One side will make you grow taller...
[now a butterfly]
Alice
One side of what?
The Butterfly
...And the other side will make you grow shorter.
[he flies away]
Alice
The other side of what?
[shouting]
The Butterfly
THE MUSHROOM, OF COURSE!
[equally as loud; hostile]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Logic of Tweedledee and Tweedledum
Alice
Mr. Rabbit. Oh, Mr. Rabbit. Oh, dear. I'm sure he came this way. Do you suppose he could be hiding? Hmm. Not here. I wonder... No. I suppose he must have... Why, what peculiar little figures. "Tweedledee," and "Tweedledum.
[upon seeing Tweedledee and Tweedledum]
Tweedledum
If you think we're waxworks, you ought to pay, you know.
[honk]
Tweedledee
Contrariwise, if you think we're alive you ought to speak to us.
[beep]
Tweedledee and Tweedledum
That's logic.
Alice
Well... It's been nice meeting you. Goodbye.
Tweedledee
You're beginning backwards.
Tweedledum
The first thing in a visit is to say...
Tweedledee and Tweedledum
How d'ya do? And shake hands, shake hands, shake hands. How d'ya do? And shake hands and state your name and business. That's manners!
[singing together; both spoken]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Race Against Time and Confusion
The White Rabbit
Why, Mary-Ann! What are you doing out here?
Alice
Mary-Ann?
The White Rabbit
Don't just do something, stand there... Uh... no, no! Go, go! Go get my gloves! I'm late!
Alice
But late for what? That's just what I...
The White Rabbit
My gloves! At once, do you hear!?
[Blows trumpet]
Alice
Goodness. I suppose I'll be taking orders from Dinah next.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounters in Wonderland
Alice
Curiouser and curiouser.
[runs up to the small door by pulling back the curtains and turns the Doorknob, it starts talking]
The Doorknob
D'ooooh!
Alice
Oh! I beg your pardon...
The Doorknob
Whew. Quite alright, but you did give me quite a turn.
Alice
You see, I was following...
The Doorknob
Rather good, what? Doorknob? Turn?
Alice
Please, sir.
The Doorknob
Since one good turn deserves another, what can I do for you?
Alice
I'm looking for a white rabbit. So, if you don't mind...
The Doorknob
Eh? Oh.
Alice
There he is! I simply must get through.
[looking through the Doorknob's keyhole]
The Doorknob
Sorry. You're much too big. Simply impassable.
Alice
You mean "impossible"?
The Doorknob
No, impassable. Nothing's impossible. Why don't you try the bottle on the table?
Alice
Table? Oh!
[a table and a small bottle magically appear out of the shadows]
The Doorknob
Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
Alice
Drink Me." Hm, better look first. For if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with one sooner or later.
[reading the bottle's label; uncorks the bottle]
The Doorknob
Beg your pardon?
Alice
I was just giving myself some good advice. But... Mmm... tastes like, uh... cherry tart. Custard. Pineapple. Roast turkey… Goodness! What did I do?!
[laughs; sighs; drinks from the bottle; unknowingly shrinks down to the size of the table; takes another sip; shrinks down again, barely holding onto the bottle; takes another drink; shrinks down so much, she's now even smaller than the bottle itself and struggling with its weight; finally aware of the potion's effect; unable to support the bottle any longer, slips and drops it]
The Doorknob
You almost went out like a candle!
[chuckles]
Alice
But look! I'm just the right size!
[runs up to the Doorknob; delighted]
The Doorknob
No use. I forgot to tell you. I'm locked!
[laughs]
Alice
Oh, no!
The Doorknob
But of course, you've got the key.
[stops laughing]
Alice
What key?
The Doorknob
Now, don't tell me you've left it up there.
Alice
Oh, dear! Whatever will I do?
[Alice fails to reach it when she tries to climb up]
The Doorknob
Try the box, naturally.
Alice
Oh. "Eat Me." All right. But goodness knows what this will do. What did you say?
[opens the lid, revealing cookies labeled, "Eat Me"; takes one; takes a bite and grows bigger as she hits her head on the ceiling]
The Doorknob
I said a little of that went a long way.
[laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A World of Wonders Awaits in Wonderland
Taglines
A world of wonders in One Great Picture
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Alice Questions Consequences of Decisions
Alice
Do you want us both to lose our heads?!
[to the pink flamingo mallet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tea Party Disrupted by Royal Decree
The Queen of Hearts
OFF WITH YOUR HAT!
[yelling]
The Mad Hatter
Oh, my!
[takes his hat off which reveals a teapot and teacup; giggles]
The King of Hearts
Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?
The Mad Hatter
I was home drinking tea. Today, you know, was my unbirthday.
[pours tea into a cup and drinks tea]
The King of Hearts
Why, my dear, today is YOUR unbirthday, too!
The Queen of Hearts
It is?
The March Hare
It is?
The Card Guards
IT IS???
[Much to Alice's horror]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Judgment in a Croquet Courtroom
The White Rabbit
Your Majesty, members of the jury, loyal subjects... and the King... the prisoner at the bar stands accused of enticing Her Majesty, the Queen of Hearts, into a game of croquet, thereby and with malice of forethought, molesting, tormenting, and otherwise annoying our beloved...
The Queen of Hearts
Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.
The White Rabbit
...Thereby causing the Queen to lose her temper.
The Queen of Hearts
Now, are you ready for your sentence?
[to Alice]
Alice
Sentence? But there has to be a verdict first...
The Queen of Hearts
Sentence first! Verdict afterwards.
Alice
But that just isn't the way...
The Queen of Hearts
All ways are...!
[shouting]
Alice
...Your ways, Your Majesty.
The Queen of Hearts
Yes, my child. OFF WITH HER-! Huh?
[giggles; yelling]
The King of Hearts
Consider, my dear. We called no witnesses. Couldn't we hear... maybe one or two, huh? Maybe...?
The Queen of Hearts
Oh, very well. BUT GET ON WITH IT!
[yelling]
The King of Hearts
First witness. Herald, call the first witness.
The White Rabbit
The March Hare.
The King of Hearts
What do you know about this unfortunate affair?
The March Hare
Nothing.
The Queen of Hearts
Nothing whatever?
The March Hare
Nothing whatever!
The Queen of Hearts
THAT'S VERY IMPORTANT! Jury, write that down!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rude Invitations at a Chaotic Tea Party
The March Hare and the Mad Hatter
No room! No room! No room!
[run over to Alice]
Alice
I thought there was plenty of room.
The March Hare
Ah, but it's very rude to sit down without being invited.
The Mad Hatter
I'll say it's rude. It's very, very rude indeed.
The Dormouse
Very, very rude indeed.
Alice
I'm very sorry. But I did enjoy your singing, and I wonder if you could tell me…
The March Hare
You enjoyed our singing?
The Mad Hatter
Oh, what a delightful little child! I'm so excited. We never get compliments. You must have a cup of tea.
The March Hare
Ah, yes, indeed. The tea. You must have a cup of tea.
Alice
That would be very nice. I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. Thank you.
[March Hare offers her a cup of tea]
The March Hare
Birthday? Ha-ha-ha. My dear child, this is NOT a birthday party!
[yanks her teacup away]
The Mad Hatter
Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
Alice
Unbirthday? Well, I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand.
The March Hare
It's very simple. Now, 30 days has Septem -No, wait... An unbirthday, if you have a birthday, then, you- She doesn't know what an unbirthday is.
[laughs]
The Mad Hatter
How silly. I shall elucidate.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Color of Deception
Alice
Painting the roses red...
[singing]
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter
We're painting the roses red. Don't tell the Queen what you have seen or say that's what we said, but we're painting the roses red.
[singing]
Alice
Yes, painting the roses red.
The Card Painter
Not pink!
The Card Painter
Not green!
Alice
Not aquamarine!
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter
We're painting the roses red!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Curious Inquiry from the Queen
The Queen of Hearts
And, what were you saying, my dear?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggles of Following One's Own Advice
Alice
Oh, dear. Now, I shall never get out. Well, when one's lost, I suppose it's good advice to stay where you are, until someone finds you. But who'd ever think to look for me here? Good advice. If I listened earlier, I wouldn't be here. But that's just the trouble with me. I give myself very good advice. But I very seldom follow it. That explains the trouble that I'm always in. Be patient, is very good advice, but the waiting makes me curious. And I'd love the change. Should something strange begin? Well... I went along my merry way, and I never stopped to reason. I should've known there'd be a price to pay, someday... Someday... I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it! Will I ever learn to do the things I should?
[sighs; sings; begins to cry; cries harder; continues crying]
The Chorus
Will I ever learn / learn to do the things I should?
The Cheshire Cat
Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm / And the mome raths outgrabe
[singing in disappear]
Alice
Oh, Cheshire Cat, it's you!
The Cheshire Cat
Whom did you expect? The white rabbit, perchance?
Alice
Oh, no, no, no. I'm through with rabbits. I want to go home! But I can't find my way.
[blows nose]
The Cheshire Cat
Naturally. That's because you have no way. All ways here you see, are the QUEEN'S ways!
[Ominously]
Alice
But I've never met any queen.
The Cheshire Cat
You haven't? You haven't? Oh, but you must! She'll be mad about you, simply mad! The mome raths outgrabe...
[chuckles, then rolls over and almost disappears]
Alice
Please, please! How can I find her?
The Cheshire Cat
Well, some go this way, and some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the short-cut.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Painting Roses Red: A Cautionary Tale
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter
Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / We dare to stop or waste a drop / So let the paint be spread / We're painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red / Bum bum bum bum / Oh-h-h-h / Painting the roses red / And many a tear we shed
The Card Painter
Because we know
The Card Painter, the Card Painter
They'll cease to grow
The Card Painter
In fact, they'll soon be dead
The Card Painter, the Card Painter
Oh!
The Card Painter, the Card Painter, the Card Painter
And yet we got ahead / Painting the roses red / Red, red, red, red / Red, red, red, red / Painting the roses red / We're painting the roses red...
Alice
Oh, pardon me, but, Mr. 3 / Why must you paint them red?
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Lizard's Experience with Chimneys
The White Rabbit
Oh! Bill! Bill, we need a lizard with a ladder. Can you help us?
Bill the Lizard
At your service, gov'nor.
Pat the Dodo
Bill, my lad. Have you ever been down a chimney?
Bill the Lizard
Why, gov'nor, I've been down more chimneys...
Pat the Dodo
Excellent, excellent. Now, just hop down the chimney and pull that monster out of there.
Bill the Lizard
Righto, gov'nor... Monster? Aaaaah!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating Uncertainty in Wonderland
Alice
Let's see. Where was I? I wonder which way I ought to go.
The Cheshire Cat
Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe All mimsy were the borogroves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
[singing]
Alice
Now, where in the world do you suppose that...?
The Cheshire Cat
Lose something?
Alice
Oh! Uh, hehe, no, no, I mean, I was just wondering...
[turns around to find just the Cat's smile talking to her]
The Cheshire Cat
Oh, that's quite alright. One moment please. Second chorus. Twas brilig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.
[Two eyes drop down on top of the mouth and play harmonica notes. The full cat form appears; singing]
Alice
Why, you're a cat!
The Cheshire Cat
A Cheshire Cat. All mimsy were the borogroves...
[starts to disappear]
Alice
Oh, wait! Don't go, please!
The Cheshire Cat
There you are! Third chorus...
[reappears]
Alice
Oh, no, no. Thank you, but I just wanted to ask which way I ought to go.
The Cheshire Cat
Well, that depends on where you ought to get to.
Alice
Oh, it really doesn't matter, as long as I...
The Cheshire Cat
Then it really doesn't matter which way you go. All mimsy were the borogoves, And the momeraths outgrabe. Oh by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way.
[disappears, singing a tune; reappears on another tree branch]
Alice
Who did?
The Cheshire Cat
The White Rabbit.
Alice
He did?
The Cheshire Cat
He did what?
Alice
He went that way.
The Cheshire Cat
Who did?
Alice
The white rabbit!
The Cheshire Cat
What rabbit?
Alice
But didn't you just say? I mean- Oh, dear!
The Cheshire Cat
Can you stand on your head? However, if I were looking for a white rabbit, I'd ask the Mad Hatter.
Alice
The Mad Hatter? Oh, no, no, no...
The Cheshire Cat
Or, there's the March Hare, in that direction.
Alice
Oh, thank you. I think I shall visit him...
The Cheshire Cat
Of course, he's mad, too.
Alice
But I don't want to go among mad people!
The Cheshire Cat
Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here. You may have noticed that I'm not ALL THERE myself, And the mome raths outgrabe!
[laughs maniacally and begins to disappear; laughs creepily as he fades away]
Alice
Goodness. If the people here are like that, I must try not to upset them.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for Clarity in a Confusing World
Alice
It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dispute Over Smoking Out a Monster
Pat the Dodo
We'll blow the thing there out, we'll smoke the monster out!
[singing]
The White Rabbit
We'll smoke the monster out... NO! No-ho! My poor house and furniture!
[singing; realizes what he just sang]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation with Authority in Wonderland
The Queen of Hearts
Somebody's head IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS! AH-HA!
[after the Queen of Hearts is hit in the head and covered in the tapestry; RIP! The Queen's face covered by jam, seeing that Alice must have done this]
Alice
The mushroom!
[throws away the gavel and jam and stuffs her hands in her apron's pockets, which soon reveals she still has both parts of the mushroom; she quickly eats both parts]
The Queen of Hearts
OFF WITH HER-!
[yelling; covers her mouth in shock as Alice is grown to the height of the courtroom]
Alice
Oh, pooh. I'm not afraid of you. Why, you're nothing, but a pack of cards.
[to the card guards, after she grows to the height of the courtroom]
The King of Hearts
Rule forty-two: All persons more than a mile high must leave the court immediately!
[reading through a rulebook]
Alice
I am not a mile high! And I’m not leaving.
The Queen of Hearts
Sorry. Rule forty-two, you know.
[nervously]
Alice
Now, as for you, Your Majesty. Or Your Majesty, indeed. Why, you're not a queen. Why, you're just a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant.
[unaware that she is shrinking quickly; finally realizes she has shrunk down]
The Queen of Hearts
And, what were you saying, my dear?
[laughs evilly]
The Cheshire Cat
Well, she simply said that you're a fat, pompous, bad-tempered old tyrant!
[appears suddenly, much to Alice's horror; disappears laughing]
The Queen of Hearts
OFF WITH HER HEAD!
[yelling]
The King of Hearts
You heard what Her Majesty said. Off with her head.
[uses his crown as a megaphone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.