Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked (2011) - Quotes

Taglines: They're going to rock the boat!

Taglines: This holiday, it's going to get squeaky.

Flight Attendant: I'm sorry, sir, that's full. We're gonna have to gate-check those.

Dave: Are you gonna charge me 25 bucks a bag?

Flight Attendant: Of course not, sir. It's $25 for the first bag, and $40 for each additional bag.

Jeanette: [shivering in her seat] I'm a little chilly, would you mind adjusting the vent?

Simon: But of course.

Brittany: Oh, you wrinkled my business magazine!

Simon: Heh, sorry.

Brittany: [pushes book aside revealing a magazine with herself on the cover] Guess I'll have to read this. She's pretty. Oh wait, that's me!

Dave: All right, head count.

Theodore: [appears wearing a monster costume made out of a bag; roars until Dave removes the bag] BOO! You like my Jungle Monster costume? Eleanor made it for me.

Eleanor: Yeah! Out of a barf bag!

Dave: [tosses bag aside and does a head count] Yeah, nice. Where's Alvin?

Alvin: [over intercom] Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking: we're cleared for an on-time departure for Timbuktu. If Timbuktu is not for you, please alert the flight attendant by pressing your call button. (The passengers do so.)

Dave: Alvin...

Alvin: [frantically] Thank you for choosing Air Alvin, and uh... enjoy your flight!

Flight Attendant: Sir, please return to your seat, we're about to take off. (Alvin jumps off the food cart, accidentally pressing the release lever.)

Flight Attendant: Sit, now!

Alvin: Uh-oh.

Dave: But he--

Flight Attendant: Sit! (The cart rolls down the aisle.)

Dave: [the cart crashes into Dave] No, no, no! ALVIN!! (Alvin smiles nervously and the plane takes off, ending the film.)

Ian: It's good to be back, huh?

Dave: Sure is.

Ian: Sold Zoe's story to Hollywood. Huge bidding war. Keira Knightley is interested. I'm thinking 50 Cent for me.

Brittany: Now we'll never get to perform at the International Music Awards.

Eleanor: [makes an 'L' with her fingers, putting it on top of her head, Brittany does the same] I guess now we're the losers.

Zoe: [turns to Jeanette; sighs; holds up Dunlop] Jeanette... I don't know what to say. I guess I was just so obsessed with finding that treasure that I kind of... I lost it. And I'm...I'm really sorry. We both are.

Jeanette: [looks at Zoe and smiles awkwardly; grabs the gold bracelet on her head that Simon (as Simone) gave her and holds it out to her] Oh, well, apology accepted. Here... I want you to have this.

Zoe: [gasps; chuckles and grabs the gold bracelet and puts it on Dunlop's "head"; smiles at Jeanette] Really? Look, Dunlop, this is a new beginning for both of us.

Jeanette: [shocked but smiles awkwardly at Zoe again; not wanting to seem mean. Simon jumps off and walks up to her. Jeanette smiles nervously at him.; chuckles nervously] I hope you don't mind. Simone... gave it to me.

Simon: [barely able to make eye contact with her] Oh, n-no, I don't mind. Y-You know, Jeanette, even the most perfect gem cannot compare to your... beauty.

Alvin: Um, Dave?

Dave: Yes, Alvin?

Alvin: [coughs; chuckles] I just wanted to say, now that we're not all...you know... dead Sorry.... Sorry. Hm? Heh, Sorry I was acting like a child on the ship. And kind of maybe ruined our family vacation.

Dave: Sometimes a racehorse needs a little room to run.

Alvin: [gives Dave a fist bump] Yes. Yeah. I like where your head's at. That is very wise, David.

Ian: [holds out fist for a fist bump also but no one gives him one] Sup? What, no love for Uncle Ian?

Brittany and Eleanor: You put us in cages!

Ian: Seriously? Are we still talking about that?! New subject: I saved Dave's life!

Theodore: [looks at Ian through the spyglass] Okay, but I'll be watching you, mister!

Dave: [looks up at the sky, then back at Alvin] Alvin, you still have that pocketknife I gave you?

Alvin: [chuckles; pulls it out of his jacket] Knife? Oh, right! Sorry, I meant to give it back.

Dave: I want you to keep it.

Alvin: Really?

Dave: [points to the sky] Maybe you can use it to signal that helicopter.

Ian: [jumps up] What? Hey!

Eleanor: Hey!

Brittany: We're down here!

Dave: Hello!

Ian: It's me, Ian Hawke! Jett Records!

Ian: Guys, circle around!

Rescue crew guy in the Helicopter: Everything's okay! We got you, guys!

Alvin: Zoe!

Zoe: [holds the rope that's holding Jeanette] No, no. Not another step! Don't come any closer!

Dave: Are you all right, Jeanette?

Jeanette: [spits out all the treasure from her mouth] I'm pretty freaked out, and those earrings tasted awful! Blegh!

Alvin: Zoe, you don't have to do this!

Zoe: Oh, I don't? I spent ten years looking for this treasure. It's the whole reason why I came to this stinking island!

Alvin: You mean... you mean you didn't crash-land?

Zoe: [pulls out map] They said that I was crazy and they said that this map was a fake! And now the treasure…is MINE!

Alvin: RUN!

Dave: Jeanette, come on! Come on! Run!

Zoe: No, you don't!

Alvin: [looks back] Jeanette!

Jeanette: [panicking] Oh, no, help!

Zoe: [pulling the rope to drag Jeanette to her] You're going back in that cave, and you are going to get me more treasure!

Simon: JEANETTE!

Jeanette: Simone!

Simon: [adjusting his glasses] It's Simon!

Dave: ALVIIIIIN!

Alvin: [turns to look at Dave, who throws him the aforementioned pocketknife. He jumps after it, catches it with one paw, flips it open and cuts the rope, causing Zoe to fall on her back.] Hurry!

Dave: Come on, guys, go! Go, go! Come on, come on.

Alvin: Dave. I'm coming with you.

Dave: [looks at Alvin] Absolutely not, it's too dangerous.

Alvin: Remember I said someday I may need to disobey you? Sorry, Dave, but I gotta disobey you.

Dave: [resignedly] Let's go.

Zoe: [puts her close to the hole so she can fit in] You're not coming up until you have every last bit of that treasure!

Jeanette: [stammering] B-B-But the volcano's about to explode!

Zoe: Well, then I guess you better hurry, huh?

Brittany: Simon, I need to know where you found that gold bracelet.

Simon: What-wh-what gold bracelet?

Brittany: The one you gave to Jeanette.

Simon: [shocked] What? Where do I gave Jeanette a bracelet?

Brittany: On your date.

Simon: [gasps; panicked] Jeanette and I are DATING?!

Brittany: Okay, he's useless.

Dave: Let go!

Simone: [falls dramatically] I've been hit!

Theodore: [tugs the necklace with his paws.] By Dave's necklace?

Simone: [plays dead] Tell Jeanette I will watch over her... with angel wings.

Theodore: [picks up the candy necklace. Dave rolls onto his belly, and the two of them make eye contact; their mouths gradually curl into smiles] Dave?

Dave: [picks up Theodore, overjoyed; Theodore hugs his shoulder] Ha-ha, Theodore!

Simone: [climbs a tree] Dave? Ha ha! Told you we'd find him!

Dave: Simon!

Simone: [leans on the tree's branch] It is Simone, but I am often confused for this Simon fellow. Perhaps we look alike?

Dave: [confused] Simone?

Theodore: [sees Ian comes out of the bush] Ian!

Ian: Hey, you found the chubby one.

Dave: Don't worry, Theodore. Nothing's gonna happen to you. Is it?

Theodore: [whimpers] What was that?!

Ian: Uh, that's an active volcano.

Alvin: Okay, Brittany and I will build the deck. Eleanor, you need to start braiding ropes. Jeanette, find as many coconuts and mangoes as you can. Who knows how long we'll be out there.

Dave: [walks up behind them] What can I do to help?

The Chipettes: Dave!

The Chipettes: You found us! Yay!

Brittany: We missed you so much!

Jeanette: I knew you would find us!

Dave: Eleanor! What happened?

Eleanor: Oh, nothing... just a little... zip-line accident.

Dave: A what?!

Eleanor: [picks up the crutch, smiling at Dave awkwardly] I'm fine. It only hurts when I try to explain it.

Dave: [looks up to see Alvin, who, not looking too happy, can barely look at him. He drops Brittany and Jeanette down carefully and walks over to the barrel that Alvin is standing on.] Okay, you know what? Never mind. The important thing is you guys are safe. Alvin? Everything's gonna be okay. Hey, what is it?

Alvin: [on the verge of tears] I thought you'd never find us... that you weren't even looking...

Dave: [confused] Why wouldn't I look for you?

Alvin: Because I'm such a pain in the...

Dave: [interrupting him, reassuringly] Alvin.

Alvin: I know, you don't think I'm a pain.

Dave: No, you're a pain. But I'd come, no matter what.

The Chipettes: *sigh with happiness*

Simone: Arc de Triomphe, mayonnaise, Napoleon...

Ian: Ugh. I get it, Frenchie; you come from a rich history. Well, guess what? We're ALL gonna be history if we don't get out of here.

The Chipettes: [terrified] Uncle Ian?!

Alvin: What's he doing here?

Dave: It's kind of a long story.

Theodore: Don't worry, he's cool.

Simone: Yes, for a pelican man.

Alvin: Oh yeah, nothing cooler than a grown man in a pelican suit.

Alvin: So, Dave, how are we gonna get out of here?

Dave: I don't know, Alvin, I think you've got this under control.

Alvin: [smiles] Theodore, you and Eleanor are on rope duty. Dave and Ian, we need oars. Simone, you and Jeanette are in charge of food. And, Zoe...

Zoe: [walks away] No, I know, I know. I'm gonna go and I'm gonna pack up my balls!

Dave: Who's that?

Alvin: Another long story.

Theodore: Um, Eleanor, would you care to dance?

Eleanor: [sees Theodore and smiles at him] I'd love to.

Theodore: With me?

Eleanor: [throws her crutches; grabs onto Theodore's paws and starts dancing with him] Yes, Theodore!

Brittany: I can't believe Jeanette's getting all the attention. I'm the pretty one. Jeanette's the smart one. You don't see me running around trying to be all smart, do you?

Alvin: I know. I'm the fun one. You're the pretty one!

Brittany: Yeah!

Alvin: Do you know how slippery that dirt is? This is ridiculous. Are you even listening to me? SIMON!

Brittany: Uh, Alvin? You're starting to sound like Dave.

Alvin: [shocked, eyes widen] NO!!!!!

Jeanette: [Simone grabs her hand] W-what are you doing?

Simone: [starts dancing with Jeanette] What I've wanted to do since the moment I laid my eyes all over on you.

Alvin: We're alive! We're alive!

Brittany: Good, cause now I'm going to kill you!

Simon: Guys! Guys! Guys! Nobody is killing anybody okay? (Angrily Grits his teeth) No matter how much he deserves it.

Alvin: Thank you Si, Though I could've done without the passive aggression. (clears throat) Look, we've got nothing to worry about. Dave knows we're gone by now. He probably has the whole coast guard looking for us. Meantime, why don't we all just relax and have some donut?

Theodore: Did you guys want some? (All groan)

Theodore: Simon. Where are you going?

Simon: [in French accent] Who is this Simon you speak of?

Theodore: You?

Simon: No, my name is not Simon. It is... Simone!

Theodore: That's pretty close to Simon.

Simone: And yet completely different. Would you care to join me on my adventure?

Theodore: What adventure?

Simone: The adventure called life!

Dave: You're all lucky Captain Correlli has allowed you one more activity.

Alvin: Is it hang gliding, wakeboarding or bungee jumping?

Dave: [shows them a section of the deck marked with a shuffleboard playing surface] Nope. Shuffleboard.

Chipmunks/Chipettes: AWW!

Alvin: Man!

Simon: By my calculations, it appears to be 10% shuffle, 90% board.

Jeanette: [giggles] That's funny.

Simon: Oh, uh, Th-th-thanks. You really think so?

Alvin: You know, Dave, I think I'd prefer the plank.

Dave: [sits on a lounge chair and pulls out a magazine.] Sorry, Alvin, but this is what you get to do. And I get to do something I haven't done in a loooong time: absolutely nothing.

Alvin: [commentating] Brittany approaches her puck, adjusts her stance... looks over at me, quite annoyed, wonders to herself if I'm ever going to shut my mouth... Realizes I'm not and makes her move...

Alvin: [cackles] And... OH! Oh, it's short! A costly error, ladies and gentlemen! That's going to haunt her for the rest of her career!

Brittany: [laughs mockingly] You can make all the jokes you want, Alvin, but not even you can make this interesting.

Simon: Alvin! Alvin!

Dave: Simon?

Simon: [looks at Dave] I wasn't betting. Honest.

Guy in Suit: Your winnings, sir.

Better: Oh, busted!

Simon: I didn't sneak out. I mean, I did, but only to stop Alvin.

Dave: Right.

Ian: There they are, Captain.

Dave: Captain.

Alvin: Oh, what's he going to do? Make us walk the plank?

Theodore: [gasps] There's a plank?

Dave: No, there's no plank. But if you guys disobey me one more time, you will be off the ship. And you'll miss the International Music Awards. Do you understand?

Eleanor: Yes, Dave.

Jeanette: Uh-huh.

Brittany: Absolutely.

Alvin: What if we need to disobey you?

Dave: And why would you need to do that?

Alvin: Well, let's say that you tell me to stay put. "Alvin, if you move from that chair, you're grounded!" But then, I happen to see pirates climbing up ropes, ever so stealthy, from the side of the ship. Now, it would be easy for me to take my trusty old Swiss Army knife and cut the ropes. But I have to stay put. Or do I?

Dave: Yes, Alvin, you do. And what are you doing with a pocket knife?

Alvin: What pocket knife are you referring to?

Dave: Come on, give it to me. You could cut yourself.

Alvin: [hands it over] So, I could have saved the whole ship from robbage and pilgering and you'd still ground me?

Simon: [puts his paw on Alvin's shoulder.] Alvin, there's no such word as robbage. And it's pillaging. But he does have a point, Dave. There's got to be times when you trust us to take matters into your own hands.

Dave: [sighs] I trusted you tonight and look where that got me!

Alvin: That's probably just the hot gravy talking.

Dave: Captain, I'm really sorry about what happened. Alvin, he's a kid. He's just trying to have some fun.

Captain Correlli: There's nothing wrong with fun. Our pelican makes sure that everybody on the ship has fun. In fact, in port, he circles the ship on a hang glider. It's really quite amusing. However, my number one priority is the passengers safety, so I simply cannot have Alvin put himself, or anyone else, at risk again.

Dave: Believe me, I understand.

Captain Correlli: If Alvin breaks any more of our rules, there will be consequences.

Dave: The last thing we want is anybody getting hurt.

Pelican Mascot: [bumps into a waiter, causing him to spill steaming hot gravy on Dave's lap.] Excuse me.

Dave: [gasps] Hot!

Waiter: Sorry.

Dave: [heads outside and wipes himself off] Hot! Unbelievable. Gravy pants.

Dave: [screams as the crowd covers their ears] ALVIN!!!

Dave: We talked about setting rules, Alvin.

Alvin: I'm sorry. I didn't know the agreement meant no fun!

Dave: You're allowed to have fun. When are you going to stop acting like a child?

Alvin: When are YOU going to stop treating me like a child?

Dave: I'll stop treating you like a child when you start acting like a grown-up.

Alvin: I'll start acting like a grown-up when you start--

Dave: Hey, girls, not now, please. Okay?

Chipettes: Aww.

Alvin: Lame.

Simon: Sorry, Dave.

Dave: I need to get ready for dinner with the captain.

Brittany: [gasps] We're having dinner with the captain?

Dave: No, I am. You're staying here. I have to go apologize for everything Alvin did.