30 quotes
Awakening from a Long Coma
Lester Burnham
It's the weirdest thing. I feel like I've been in a coma for about twenty years, and I'm just now waking up.
[''Lying in bed fantasizing of watching Angela on ceiling partially covered in rose petals with it landing on his face'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A New Car and Casual Attitude
Carolyn
Uh, whose car is that out front?
Lester
Mine. ]. The car I've always wanted and now I have it. I rule!
[[w:Pontiac Firebird#Second generation (1970–1981)|1970 Pontiac Firebird]
Carolyn
Lester, you're going to spill beer on the couch.
[''To Lester leaning over to her'']
Lester
So what? It's just a couch.
Carolyn
This is a four thousand dollar sofa, upholstered in Italian silk. This is not just a couch!
Lester
It's just a couch! This isn't life! This is just stuff! And it's become more important to you than living. Well, honey, that's just nuts.
[''Pounds couch with pillow''; ''Throws pillow at couch'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Self-Discovery and Surprise
Lester Burnham
It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself. Makes you wonder what else you can do that you've forgotten about.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Teenage Curiosity and Bold Claims
Angela
And then he just pulled down his pants, you know, like say hello to ].
[[w:human penis|Mr. Happy]
Teenage girl #1
Gross.
Angela
It wasn't gross. It was kind of cool.
Teenage girl #2
So did you do it with him?
Angela
Of course I did! He's a really well-known photographer. He shoots for ] on like, a regular basis. It would've been so majorly stupid of me to turn him down.
[[w:Elle (magazine)|Elle]
Teenage girl #1
You are a total prostitute.
Angela
Hey, that's how things really are. You just don't know cause you're this pampered little suburban chick.
Teenage girl #1
So are you! You've only been in ] once, and you looked fat, so stop acting like you're god damn ]!
[[w:Seventeen (magazine)|Seventeen; [w:Christy Turlington|Christy Turlington; ''Makes a stop-telling-lies-and-grow-up face and then walks away with friend'']
Angela
Cunt! I am so sick of people taking their insecurities out on me!
[''To the two teenage girls''; ''To self'']
Jane Burnham
Oh, my God! That's the pervert who filmed me last night!
[''Sees Ricky getting dropped off at school and points at him'']
Angela Hayes
Him? Jane. No way. He's a total lunatic!
Jane Burnham
You know him?
Angela Hayes
Yeah. We were on the same lunch shift when I was in ninth grade, and he would always say the most random, weird things, and then one day, he was just like, gone. And then, Connie Cardullo told me he his parents had to put him in ].
[[w:Psychiatric hospital|a mental institution]
Jane Burnham
Why? What did he do?
Angela Hayes
What do you mean?
Jane Burnham
Well, they can't put you away just for saying weird things.
Angela Hayes
You total slut. You've got a crush on him!
[''Stares at Jane, realizes and then breaks out in a teasing smile'']
Jane Burnham
What?! Please!
Angela Hayes
You were defending him! You love him! You want to have like, ten thousand of his babies!
Jane Burnham
Shut up.
[''Realizes Ricky is suddenly standing in front of her'']
Ricky Fitts
Hi. My name's Ricky. I just moved next door to you.
Jane Burnham
I know. I kinda remember this really creepy incident when you were filming me last night?
Ricky Fitts
I didn't mean to scare you. I just think you're interesting.
[''Angela shoots a wide-eyed look at Jane, oblivious to her'']
Jane Burnham
Thanks, but I really don't need to have some psycho obsessing about me right now.
Ricky Fitts
I'm not obsessing. I'm just curious.
[''Looks at her intently, Jane looks away, Ricky smiles and then walks off'']
Angela Hayes
What a freak. And why does he dress like ]
[[w:Mormon missionary|a Bible salesman?]
Jane Burnham
He's like, so confident. That can't be real.
Angela Hayes
I don't believe him. I mean, he didn't even like, look at me once.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Significance of Each Day in Life
Lester Burnham
Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life"? Well, that's true of every day but one - the day you die.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Determination to Sell the House
Carolyn Burnham
I will sell this house today.
[''Repeated line, in self-assuring confidence''; ''Later becomes hysterically upset and profusively self-blaming'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Life's Beauty and Transience
Lester Burnham
I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all. It stretches on forever, like an ocean of time. For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout Camp, watching falling stars. And yellow leaves from the maple trees that lined our street. ] alerted by gunshot] Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper. And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's ]. And Janie, and Janie. And Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life. You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry. You will someday.
[''Epilogue after being fatally shot''; ''Scene of Jane and Ricky lying bed alerted by gunshot and then gets up''; ''Scene of Angela in [[w:Toilet (room)|powder room; ''Scene of Carolyn outside in rain unresponsive to faint gunshot; [w:Pontiac Firebird|brand new Firebird]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Business Ethics and Personal Choices
Brad
I'm sure you can understand our need to cut corners around here.
[''To Lester sitting looking forlorn and far away before his desk'']
Lester
Oh, sure. Times are tight, and you gotta free up cash. Gotta spend money to make money. Right?
Brad
Exactly. So...
[''Stands up, ready to usher Lester out'']
Lester
Like the time when Mr. Flournoy used the company MasterCard to pay for that hooker, and then she used the card numbers and stayed at ] for, what was it, like, three months?
[[w:St. Regis Hotels & Resorts|the St. Regis]
Brad
That's unsubstantiated gossip!
[''Sits back down'']
Lester
That's fifty thousand dollars! That's somebody's salary. That's somebody who's gonna get fired because Craig HAS TO PAY WOMEN TO FUCK HIM!
Brad
Jesus, calm down! Nobody's getting fired yet. That's why we're having everyone write out a job description, mapping out in detail how they contribute. That way, management can assess who's valuable and--
Lester
Who's expendable.
Brad
It's just business.
Lester
I've been writing for this magazine for fourteen years, Brad. You've been here how long, a whole month?
Brad
I'm one of the good guys, Les. I'm trying to level with you. This is your one chance to save your job.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Question of Leaving Together
Ricky
If I had to leave tonight, would you come with me?
Jane
What?
Ricky
If I had to go to ]. To live. Tonight. Would you come with me?
[[w:New York City|New York]
Jane
Yes.
Angela
You guys can't be serious. You're just a kid. And he's like, a mental case. You'll end up living in a box on the street.
[''To Jane'']
Jane
I'm no more a kid than you are! We can use my plastic surgery money.
[''To Ricky'']
Ricky
We won't have to. I have over forty thousand dollars. And ]
[[w:organized crime in the United States|I know people in the city who can help us get set up.]
Angela
What, ]
[[w:Crime in New York City|other drug dealers?]
Ricky
Yes.
Angela
Jane, you'd be out of your mind to go with him.
Jane
Why do you even care?
Angela
Because you're my friend!
Ricky
She's not your friend. She's somebody you use to feel better about yourself.
Angela
Go fuck yourself, psycho!
Jane
You shut up, bitch!
Angela
Jane, he's a freak!
Jane
Then so am I! And we'll always be freaks and we'll never be like other people and you'll never be a freak because you're just too... perfect!
Angela
Yeah? Well, at least I'm not ugly!
Ricky
Yes, you are. And you're boring. And totally ordinary. And you know it.
Angela
You two deserve each other.
[''Walks away'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Disagreement About Private Actions
Carolyn
What are you doing?!
[''Woken by Lester masturbating under sheets'']
Lester
Nothing.
Carolyn
You were masturbating!
Lester
I was not.
Carolyn
Yes you were!
Lester
Oh, all right! So shoot me, I was whacking off! That's right, I was choking the bishop, chafing the carrot, you know, saying "hi" to my monster!
Carolyn
That's disgusting!
Lester
Well forgive me, but some of us still have blood pumping through our veins.
Carolyn
So do I.
Lester
Really?! Well, I'm the only one who seems to be doing anything about it!
Carolyn
Lester, I refuse to live like this! This is not a marriage!
[''Jumps out of bed standing before Lester'']
Lester Burnham
This hasn't been a marriage, for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well, guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he feels horny, because you're obviously not gonna help me out in that department!
Carolyn
Oh, I see. You think you're the only one ]?
[[w:sexual frustration|who's sexually frustrated here]
Lester
I'm not? Well, then, come on, baby, I'm ready!
Carolyn
Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
Lester
On what grounds? I'm not ], ], ] I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed!
[[w:alcoholism|a drunk; [w:infidelity|I don't fuck other women; [w:domestic violence|I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you...]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Mother-Daughter Exchange on Appearance
Carolyn
Oh, Honey, are you trying to look unattractive?
[''To Jane walking to vehicle in the morning'']
Jane
Yes.
[''In cynical voice'']
Carolyn
Congratulations, you've succeeded admirably!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Family's Unconventional Dinner Conversation
Jane
Sorry I'm late.
[''Sits down at dining room table'']
Carolyn
No, that's quite all right, dear. Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
[''To Lester'']
Lester
Jane, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass ].
[''Carolyn dementedly laughs''; [w:asparagus|the asparagus]
Carolyn
Your father seems to think this kind of behavior is something to be proud of!
[''Continues dementedly laughing'']
Lester
And your mother seems to prefer ] ] ] under the sink.
[[w:rat race|I go through life like a fucking prisoner; [w:Erotophobia|while she keeps my dick in; [w:Mason jar|a Mason jar]
Carolyn
How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the... same... day... that... you... lose your job!
[''Referring to Jane'']
Lester
I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I quit! Pass the asparagus.
Carolyn
Oh! Oh! Oh! And I want to thank you for putting me under the added pressure of being ]
[[w:Breadwinner model|the sole breadwinner now!]
Lester
I already have a job.
Carolyn
No, no, don't give a second thought as to who's gonna pay ]. We'll just leave it all up to Carolyn! You mean you're gonna take care of everything now, Carolyn? Yes. I don't mind, I really don't. You mean everything? You don't mind having the sole responsibility, your husband feels he can just quit his job and you don't--
[[w:mortgage|the mortgage]
Lester
Will someone please pass me the fucking asparagus?
[''Overlapping'']
Jane
Okay, guys, I'm not gonna be a part of this.
[''Standing'']
Lester
Sit down! I am sick and tired of being treated like I don't exist. You two do whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it, and I don't complain. Now all I want is the same--
[''Jane slowly sits back down. Lester stands up, walks to the other side of the table, picks up the plate of asparagus, then sits back down'']
Carolyn
Oh, you don't complain? Oh please! Excuse me! Excuse me! I must be psychotic, then! If you don't complain, what is this? Yeah, let's bring in the laugh-meter and see how loud it gets on that one. You don't compl--
[''Interrupting''; ''Lester stands with the asparagus plate in his hand'']
Lester
Don't interrupt me, honey. Oh, and another thing, from now on we're going to alternate our dinner music, because, frankly--and I don't think I'm alone here-- I'm really tired of this ] shit!
[''Throws the asparagus plate at the wall, to a stunned Carolyn and Jane, then casually looks at Carolyn in the eyes''; ''Sits back down to eat, looking up at the background music in disdain''; ''glances over in mutual reference to Jane's displeasure to the music''; [w:Lawrence Welk|Lawrence Welk]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concerns About Jane's Happiness and Love
Lester
How's Jane?
Angela
What do you mean?
Lester
I mean, how's her life? Is she happy? Is she miserable? I'd really like to know, and she'd die before she'd-
Angela
She's... she's really happy. She thinks she's in love.
Lester
Good for her.
Angela
How are you?
Lester
God, it's been a long time since anybody asked me that... I'm great.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Reflections on Life and Lost Happiness
Lester Burnham
My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood. This is my street. This is my life. I am 42 years old. In less than a year, I will be dead. Of course, I don't know that yet, and in a way, I'm dead already. Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the highlight of my day. It's all downhill from here. That's my wife Carolyn. See the way the handle on those pruning shears match her gardening clogs? That's not an accident. That's our neighbor, Jim, and that's his lover, Jim. Man, I get exhausted just watching her. She wasn't always like this. She used to be happy. We used to be happy. ] despite having a large bust] My daughter, Jane. Only child. Janie's a pretty typical teenager–angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her. Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser. And they're right. I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated. But you know what? It's never too late to get it back.
[''Jane is researching [[w:breast implant|breast augumentation surgery]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Teenage Embarrassment and Family Dynamics
Jane
Mom, is it okay if Angela sleeps over tonight?
[''Glances over at a calm Lester'']
Carolyn
Well, of course, she's always welcome. You know, I thought maybe you two had a fight. I haven't seen her around here in a while. And she's gone!
[''To Jane walking to kitchen''; ''Lester walks to kitchen'']
Lester
What?
[''To Jane staring at him in kitchen'']
Jane
I've been too embarrassed to bring her over. Because of you, and the way that you behave.
[''Nervously'']
Lester
What are you talking about?! I've barely even spoken to her!
Jane
Dad! You stare at her all the time, like you're drunk! It's disgusting!
Lester
You better watch yourself, Janie, or you're going to turn into a real bitch, just like your mother! Fuck.
[''Jane is stunned and then flees kitchen, then under breath'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Connection and Beauty
Ricky
When you see something like that, it's like God is looking right at you, just for a second. And if you're careful, you can look right back.
[''About a dead homeless woman he filmed'']
Jane
And what do you see?
Ricky
Beauty.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Burden of Beauty and Attention
Jane
I'm sorry my dad was so weird tonight.
[''Sitting in vehicle outside residence'']
Angela
It's okay. I'm used to guys drooling over me. It started when I was about twelve, I'd go out to dinner with my parents. Every Thursday night, ]. And every guy there would stare at me when I walked in. And I knew what they were thinking. Just like I knew guys at school thought about me ].
[[w:Red Lobster|Red Lobster; [w:masturbation|when they jerked off]
Jane
Vomit.
Angela
No, I liked it. And I still like it. If people I don't even know look at me and want to fuck me, it means I really have a shot at being a model. Which is great, because there's nothing worse in life than being ordinary.
Jane
I really think it'll happen for you.
Angela
Oh, I know. Because everything that was meant to happen, does. Eventually.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Pride in a Child's Success
Carolyn Burnham
Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely! You didn't screw up once!
[''To Jane after halftime basketball performance'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Generational Conflict and Perspectives on Shame
Colonel Frank Fitts
How come these ] always have to rub it in your face? How can they be so shameless?
[''Driving with Ricky, referring to neighbours Jim and Jim jogging by''; [homophobia|faggots]
Ricky Fitts
That's the whole thing, Dad. They don't feel like it's anything to be ashamed of.
Colonel Frank Fitts
Well, it is!
[''Glancing at Ricky sharply'']
Ricky Fitts
Yeah, you're right.
Colonel Frank Fitts
Don't placate me like I'm your mother, boy.
Ricky Fitts
Forgive me, sir, for speaking so bluntly but those fags make me want to puke my fucking guts out.
[''Sighs, then glances at father'']
Colonel Frank Fitts
Well, me too son. Yeah, me too.
[''Cautiously, after a long pause'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for a Better Father Figure
Jane
I need a father who's a role model, not some horny geek-boy who's ] whenever I bring a girlfriend home from school. What a lame-o. Somebody really should just put him out of his misery.
[''To Ricky videotaping her''; [w:ejaculation|gonna spray his shorts]
Ricky
Want me to kill him for you?
Jane
Yeah, would you?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discontent and Disconnection in Everyday Life
Lester
...did you ever see that movie, where the body's walking around holding its own head? And then the head goes down on that babe?
[''Standing outside hotel in alleyway smoking with Rick'']
Rick
].
[[w:Re-Animator|Re-Animator; ''Door bangs open and Rick's boss steps out'']
Catering boss
Look. I'm not paying you to... ...do whatever it is you're doing out here.
[''eyes Lester, suspiciously'']
Rick
Fine. So don't pay me.
Catering boss
Excuse me?
Rick
I quit. So you don't have to pay me. Now, leave me alone.
Catering boss
Asshole.
[''Goes inside and Lester glances at Ricky, who shrugs'']
Lester
I think you just became my personal hero. Doesn't that make you nervous, just quitting your job like that? Well, I guess when you're all of, what? Sixteen?
[''Pause'']
Rick
Eighteen. I just do these gigs as a cover. I have other sources of income. But my dad interferes less in my life when I pretend to be an upstanding young citizen with a respectable job.
[''Pause''; ''Carolyn opens door'']
Carolyn
Lester? What are you doing?
[''Lester quickly hides the joint behind his back'']
Lester
Honey, this is... Ricky Fitts. This is Ricky Fitts.
[''laughs'']
Rick
I'm Ricky Fitts, I just moved in the house next to you. I go to school with your daughter.
Lester
With Jane? Really?
Rick
Yeah. Jane.
Carolyn
Hi. I'm ready to go. I'll meet you out front.
[''To Lester''; ''Goes back inside'']
Lester
Uh-oh. I'm in trouble. Nice meeting you, Ricky Fitts. Thanks for the, uh, thing.
[''Going back inside'']
Rick
Any time.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Corporate Life and Moral Dilemmas
Brad
My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell." Well, you obviously have no interest in saving yourself.
[''Reading Lester's job description''; ''Lester lip syncs along'']
Lester
Brad, for fourteen years I've been a whore for the advertising industry. The only way I could save myself now is if I start firebombing.
Brad
Whatever. Management wants you gone by the end of the day.
Lester
Well, just what sort of severance package is management prepared to offer me? Considering the information I have about our Editorial Director buying pussy with company money - which, I think, would interest ], since it technically constitutes fraud; and I'm sure that some of our advertisers and rival publications might like to know about it as well. Not to mention... Craig's wife!
[[w:Internal Revenue Service|the I.R.S.; ''grins'']
Brad
What do you want?
Lester
One year's salary, with benefits.
Brad
That's not going to happen.
Lester
Well, what do you say I throw in ]
[[w:Sexual harassment in the workplace in the United States|a little sexual harassment charge, to boot?]
Brad
Against who?
[''Chuckles in disbelief'']
Lester
Against you! Can you prove that you didn't offer to save my job if I let you blow me?
[''Chuckles derisively'']
Brad
Man. You are one twisted fuck.
[''Whispers'']
Lester
Nope; I'm just an ordinary guy with nothing to lose.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Embarrassment and Attraction
Jane
I'm sorry about my dad.
Angela
Don't be. I think it's funny.
Jane
Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me... he's just too embarrassing to live.
Angela
Your mom's the one who's embarrassing. What a phony. Your dad's actually kind of cute.
[''Jane glances at Angela irritated'']
Jane
Shut up.
[''Scene of Lester in hallway eavesdropping'']
Angela
He is. If he just worked out a little, he'd be hot!
Jane
Shut up!
Angela
Oh, come on. Like you've never sneaked a peek at him in his underwear? I bet he's got a big dick!
Jane
You are so grossing me out right now!
Angela
If he built up his chest and arms, I would totally fuck him!
[''Jane covers her ears and nonsensically sings'']
Angela
I would! I would suck your dad's big fat dick, and then I would fuck him til his eyes rolled back in his head! What was that noise? Jane. I swear I heard something.
[''Laughs''; ''Lester darts down hall'']
Jane
Yeah, it was the sound of you being a huge disgusting pig.
Angela
I'm serious. See? Oh my God. Jane.
[''An object taps against window''; ''Goes to window''; ''They observe in the Burnham's driveway, Jane's name is spelled out in ablaze gasoline writing'']
Angela
It's that psycho next door. Jane, what if he worships you? What if he's got a shrine with pictures of you surrounded by dead people's heads and stuff?
Jane
Shit. I bet he's filming us right now.
Angela
Really?
[''Become intrigued''; ''Starts sexually posing in window'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics and Unspoken Expectations
Lester Burnham
Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there? Did she ask us to come?
[''Driving to a high school basketball game to watch Jane's dance team performance'']
Carolyn Burnham
Of course not. She doesn't want us to know how important this is to her. But she's been practicing her steps for weeks.
Lester Burnham
Well, I'll bet money she's going to resent it, and I'm missing ] ] ].
[[w:James Bond|the James Bond; [w:Marathon (media)|marathon; [w:TNT (American TV network)|on TNT]
Carolyn Burnham
Lester, this is important. Now, I'm sensing a real distance growing between you and Jane.
Lester Burnham
Growing?" She hates me.
Carolyn Burnham
She's just willful.
Lester Burnham
She hates you too.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire and Attraction in Complex Relationships
Angela
Jane and I had a fight. It was about you. She's mad at me because I said I think you're sexy.
Lester
So, you gonna tell me? What do you want?
Angela
I don't know...What do you want?
Lester
Are you kidding? I want you. I've wanted you ever since the first moment I saw you. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
Angela
You don't think I'm ordinary?
Lester
You couldn't be ordinary if you tried.
Angela
Thank you. I don't think there's anything worse than being ordinary. This is my first time.
[''Opens her blouse, exposing her breasts, and lies back beneath Lester'']
Lester
You're kidding.S
[''Laughs'']
Angela
I'm sorry. I still want to do it. I just...thought I should tell you, in case you wondered why I wasn't...better. What's wrong? I thought you said I was beautiful.
[''Lester stops'']
Lester
You are beautiful. You are so beautiful - and I would be a very lucky man.
Angela
I feel so stupid!
Lester
Don't...You have nothing to be sorry about...It's okay, everything's okay.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation at Mr. Smiley's Encounter
Lester
Smile! You're at Mr. Smiley's!
[''Meeting Carolyn with Buddy with their order at [[w:Drive-through|the restaurant drive-thru]
Carolyn
Uh, Buddy, this is my-
Lester
Her husband. We've met before, but something tells me you're going to remember me this time.
Janine
Whoa, you are so busted!
Carolyn
You know, this really doesn't concern you!
Lester
Actually, Janine is senior-manager of the drive thru so you kind of are on her turf. So, this makes sense.
Carolyn
Oh, Lester...
Lester
Honey, it's okay. I want you to be happy. Would you like Smiley sauce with that?
Carolyn
Lester, just stop it!
Lester
No, no. You... don't get to tell me what to do... ever... again.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Father-Son Conflict and Misunderstanding
Ricky
Oh, Dad, you don't really think that me and Mr. Burnham were...
[''Laughs'']
Colonel Fitts
Don't you laugh at me. Now, I will not sit back and watch my only son ]
[[w:fellatio|become a cock-sucker!]
Ricky
Jesus, what is it with you?
Colonel Fitts
I swear to God, I will throw you out of the house and never look at you again!
Ricky
You mean that?
Colonel Fitts
You're damn straight I do. I'd rather you were dead than be a fuckin faggot.
Ricky
You're right, I suck dick for money.
Colonel Fitts
Boy, don't start.
Ricky Fitts
Two thousand dollars, I'm that good.
Colonel Fitts
Get out.
Ricky
And you should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three states.
Colonel Fitts
Get out! I don't ever want to see you again.
[''Hits Ricky'']
Ricky
What a sad old man you are.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Borrowing a Movie from a Friend
Lester
So, Ricky, uh, I was thinking about the, uh... I was gonna... the movie we talked about...
Ricky
].
[[w:Re-Animator|Re-Animator]
Lester
Yeah!
Ricky
You want to borrow it? Okay, it's up in my room. Come on.
[''Lester waves at the Colonel following Ricky into house with the Colonel watching them with eyes going dark'']
Ricky
Can you hold this for a sec?
[''Handing Lester [[w:Urine test|a urine test cup]
Lester
Sure.
Ricky
I don't think my dad would try to come in when somebody else is here, but you never know.
[''Pulls open bedside nightstand drawer and begins transferring clothes onto bed'']
Lester
What is this?
Ricky
Urine. I have to take a drug test every six months to make sure I'm clean.
Lester
Are you kidding? You just smoked with me last night.
Ricky
It's not mine. One of my clients is a nurse in a pediatrician's office. I cut her a deal, she keeps me in clean piss.
[''Lester picks up a CD album'']
Lester
You like ]?
[[w:Pink Floyd|Pink Floyd]
Ricky
I like a lot of music.
Lester
Man, I haven't listened to this album in years. ], revealing rows of ziplocked bags of
[''Shakes his head, puts down CD album case. Ricky, having emptied the drawer, now removes a [[w:False bottom|false bottom; [w:cannabis|marijuana]
Ricky
How much do you want?
Lester
I don't know, it's been a while. How much is an ounce?
Ricky
Well, this is totally decent, and it's three hundred.
[''Indicates bag'']
Lester
Wow.
Ricky
But this shit is top of the line. It's called G-13. Genetically engineered by ]. ]. But a completely mellow high, no paranoia.
[''Indicates another bag''; [w:Federal government of the United States|the U.S. Government; [w:Tetrahydrocannabiphorol|Extremely potent]
Lester
Is that what we smoked last night?
Ricky
This is all I ever smoke.
Lester
How much?
Ricky
Two grand.
Lester
Jesus. Things have changed since 1973.
Ricky
You don't have to pay now. I know you're good for it.
Lester
Thanks.
[''Pause'']
Ricky
There's a card in there with my beeper number, call me anytime day or night. And I only accept cash.
[''Hands him a bag'']
Lester
Well, now I know how you can afford all this equipment. When I was your age, ] just to be able to buy ].
[[w:Fast-food restaurant|I flipped burgers all summer; [w:8-track cartridge|an eight track]
Ricky
That sucks.
Lester
No, actually, it was great. All I did was party and get laid. I had my whole life ahead of me...
[''Smiles'']
Ricky
My dad thinks I pay for all this with catering jobs. Never underestimate the power of denial.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Family Dynamics Over Dinner Conversations
Janes
Mom, do we always have to listen to ]
[''Eating at table with parents listening to [[w:Bali Ha'i|Bali Ha'i; [w:elevator music|this elevator music?]
Carolyn
No. No, we don't. As soon as you've prepared a nutritious yet savory meal that I'm about to eat, you can listen to whatever you like.
Lester
So Janie, how was school?
[''Long pause'']
Jane
It was okay.
[''Suspiciously'']
Lester
Just okay?
Jane
No, Dad. It was spec... tac... ular.
Lester
Well, you want to know how things went at my job today? Now she looks at him as if he's lost his mind. They've ], this really friendly guy named Brad, how perfect is that? And he's basically there to make it seem like they're justified in firing somebody, because they couldn't just come right out and say that, could they? No, no, that would be too... honest. And so they've asked us-- you couldn't possibly care any less, could you?
[''Pause''; [w:Business process re-engineering|hired this efficiency expert; ''referring to Jane's mockingly indifferent face'']
Jane
Well, what do you expect? You can't all of a sudden be my best friend, just because you had a bad day. I mean, hello. You've barely even spoken to me for months.
[''Gets up from table and walks to kitchen'']
Lester
Oh, what, you're mother-of-the-year? You treat her like an employee.
[''Noticing Carolyn'']
Carolyn
What?! WHAT?!
[''Lester silently stares down'']
Lester
I'm going to get some ice cream.
[''Gets up from table'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Finding Beauty in Everyday Moments
Ricky Fitts
Do you want to see the most beautiful thing I've ever filmed? It was one of those days when it's a minute away from snowing, and there was this electricity in the air. You can almost hear it. Right? And this bag was just, dancing with me, like a little kid beggin me to play with it - for fifteen minutes. That's the day I realized that there was this entire life behind things, and this incredibly benevolent force that wanted me to know that there was no reason to be afraid, ever. Video's a poor excuse, I know. But it helps me remember - I need to remember. Sometimes, there's so much beauty in the world - I feel like I can't take it, like my heart is just going to cave in.
[''To Jane'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.