Bad Boys II (2003) - Quotes

Marcus Burnett: [''Driving with Mike down a hill, through cocaine-processing shacks, in a stolen Hummer''] Is this still Plan B?

Mike Lowery: Naw, this is definitely Plan C!

Mike Lowery: Vargas, we're not gonna make it to the tunnel! Go to Plan B! We're going to Plan B!

Marcus Burnett: What Plan B?!

Lowery: [''Pause''] Man, you don't pay attention to shit, do you?!

Syd: [''As they start arguing in the middle of the gunfight''] Are you fucking shitting me?! Let's go!

Detective Mateo Reyes: [''In the escape tunnel''] Plan B? What the hell is Plan B?

Marcus Burnett: [storms off; Mike follows him in another room.] You know, by the time y'all finish being diplomatic, my sister could be in a fucking box. This is bullshit!

Mike Lowery: [''Looks at Marcus''; ''Moves to a teary-eyed Marcus and they embrace each other''] He ain't getting away from us that easy. We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life. We just gotta do it ourselves, man.

DEA Agent Tony Dodd: Don't know you. You look like you're about to do something stupid. I'm in.

TNT Agent Fanuti: [[w:Delta Force|Delta] Dodd here tell you how fucking crazy us ex-] guys are?

Det. Marco Vargas: Hey Marcus, my brother Tito, lives in Cuba. He's a little crazy, but he's hooked up with the underground. Weapons, men, a safe house. Whatever we need.

Det. Yul Vazquez: [''Steps in''] And you can forget about passports baby and all that stuff, because if the Cubans catch us, we're all dead.

Marcus Burnett: What are you a cop or a model?

Mike Lowery: What you talking about, man? I put something on, I like lookin good, what?

Burnett: For who?

Lowery: Hey, don't hate the playa, hate the game.

Burnett: I hate the tailor.

Marcus Burnett: Mike! There's a papa rat humping the shit out of this mama rat. No, he's straight pile-driving her!

Mike Lowrey: Now, how is that information gonna help me do my job?

Burnett: They fuck just like us!

Marcus Burnett: Mike, have some dignity!

Mike Lowery: What? I ain't doin nothin'.

Burnett: Cover the titties.

Lowery: What-what-what am I gonna do with these big-ass dead titties?

Burnett: But you're lookin at them.

Lowery: There's...something's seriously wrong with your brain, man.

Burnett: Just cover up the titties.

Lowery: God...damn!

Marcus Burnett: Megan, what's the name of this boy taking you to the movies?

Mike Lowery: Reggie. Daddy, please don't embarrass me and ask him a lot of questions. Everybody knows you're a cop, and it makes people nervous.

Marcus Burnett: [[w:crack cocaine|on crack; ''Opens door to Mike Lowery while holding golf club''] Well, why nervous? He ]? It's cool? Yeah. Come in.

Mike Lowery: What'd you...? I got a sneak and peek. Judge Sinclair said we can go into the mortuary tonight. We can't touch nothing, but if we find something... he'll give us a righteous warrant.

Marcus Burnett: You love pissing Captain Howard off, don't you?

Mike Lowery: It's what I do. So when you start playing golf? Hey, so you real serious about this transfer thing, huh? I mean, you been quitting for 10 years. I just always thought it was... how you dealt with all this shit.

Marcus Burnett: It's what's best for me and my family. Look, I'm gonna get my stuff, man.

Mike Lowery: [''Looking through a high school yearbook picture of himself looking extremely nerdy, voice over of his signing''; ''Aloud''] We ride together, we die together. Bad boys for life.

Marcus Burnett: [''Walking to front door''; ''Slams open both front doors''] We getting old, Mike. One of them young punks coming to take my baby out on her first date. Who the FUCK are you?!

Reggie: Hi Mr. Burnett, I'm Reggie.

Marcus Burnett: Watcha doin here?!

Reggie: I'm here to take out Megan.

Marcus Burnett: [''Tilts head to Reggie to hear him clearer''] What?!

Reggie: I'm here to take out Megan.

Marcus Burnett: How old are you?

Reggie: I'm fifteen, Mr. Burnett

Marcus Burnett: Motherfucker, you look thirty! Show some ID.

Reggie: I don't have none on me.

Marcus Burnett: [''Shoves Reggie against door''; ''Starts patting him down''; [w:Thundercats|Little young Thundercats; [w:Cannabis (drug)|Got joints on you] You don't "have no ID", git'cho ass up against that wall. What is your problem? You think you know it all. ]. ]?

Reggie: No.

Marcus Burnett: You smoke that shit? !

Reggie: No, sir.

Marcus Burnett: You trying to get my daughter high?! Do you smoke that shit?!

Mike Lowery: [''Pretending to be drunk from foyer holding bottle''] Marcus! Nigga, who that is at the door?

Marcus Burnett: It's Reggie!

Mike Lowery: Who the FUCK is Reggie?!

Marcus Burnett: Came to take Megan out!

Mike Lowery: [''Walks over to Reggie''] What'd you want, nigga?

Reggie: I'm here to take his daughter out.

Mike Lowery: What's your name?!

Reggie: Reggie.

Mike Lowery: Man, I heard the motherfucker say your name Reggie! You wanna be takin Megan out?!

Reggie: Yes, sir.

Mike Lowery: How old is you?!

Reggie: 15.

Mike Lowery: Shit, nigga, you at least thirty!

Marcus Burnett: This is Mike.

Mike Lowery: Can you fight?

Reggie: Yeah.

Mike Lowery: [''Intimidatingly jerks head forward''] You can fight? Boo, motherfucker. You can't fight. Look at you...

Marcus Burnett: Cut it out.

Mike Lowery: I want to know if... when somebody taking my niece out, I want to know if he can fight. Somebody might come say something, the nigga can't fight, she can't go.

Marcus Burnett: This is Megan's godfather, okay? He just got out the joint.

Mike Lowery: Why you putting all my business in the street?

Marcus Burnett: They call him...

Mike Lowery: [''Draws pistol waving it around''; ''Points gun near Reggie's head who dodges repeatedly''] Why you putting all... I just got out of jail! I ain't going back! I ain't going back! What's wrong with you? You're scared. You ain't seen a gun before?

Marcus Burnett: Stop pointing the gun at the boy.

Mike Lowery: [''Points the gun to Marcus''; ''Points gun back to Reggie''; [w:Ludacris|Ludacris-looking motherfucker; [w:Move Bitch|Move, nigga. Get outta tha' way. If I see you on tha' highway, get tha' fuck out of my way...] Look, don't you disrespect me in front of company. Let the gun go off. Nigga, you a big, tall, ], ain't you? You rap? ]

Reggie: No.

Marcus Burnett: [''To Reggie''] Hey, Mike! Now, listen. Have my daughter home at 10:01. If she ain't home at 10:01, I'm in the car, okay? Lock, loaded and hunting your motherfucking ass down. Do you hear me? Speak the fuck up, Reggie!

Mike Lowery: [[w:Chitty Chitty Bang Bang|Chitty Chitty Bang Bang] I'll go with him. If I'm there, know what it'll be? ], nigga. That's what it'll be. Marcus!

Theresa Burnett: [''Walking up with Megan''] Reggie, baby, I am so sorry. Forgive Megan's dad and his silly friend.

Marcus Burnett: [''To Reggie''] You a virgin?

Reggie: Yes.

Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way! Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight!

Theresa Burnett: Baby, the red shirt's nice. You guys have a good time.

Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?

Reggie: No.

Mike Lowery: You want to?

Reggie: [''Whimperingly''] No, sir.

Marcus Burnett: [''To Megan''] Hey, have a good time, baby. Go. Go.

Mike Lowery: [''Describes with hands''; ''Suddenly realizes that they're now being watched all the while by store customers''] Look here. This is our little boundary box. So we gonna take the word flaccid and we're gonna put it in there with my mom's titties with your erection problems, and we're gonna close this box and we're gonna throw this bitch in the ocean. And the only way that you can get to this box is you got to be motherfucking Jacques Cousteau. We cool? Oh shit. We gotta go.

Mother: [''Complaining to manager''; ''Sees Lowery and Burnett as they leave''; ''To children''] In front of my babies, you got porno and homo shows up in here?! What kinda freak-ass store is this?! And you two motherfuckers need Jesus! Cover your ears, baby.

Marcus Burnett: [''During a gunfight''] Sir, we just want to talk!

Mike Lowery: You want to talk?! All right, go ahead, go ahead.

Burnett: We're not Immigration!

Lowery: [''Gunfire continues''] They can't hear you cause they still shootin at you!

Burnett: Fucking Haitians in a fucking little-ass room with fucking guns! Shit!

Marcus Burnett: [''After Mike accidentally shots Marcus in the butt''] What you mean, "We"? Motherfucker shot me in the ass, man.

Mike Lowery: Who shot you in the ass?

Burnett: Who? That "who" would be you.

Lowery: Me? I shot you?

Burnett: Yeah.

Lowery: [''Looks''] I mean, I was shooting... Yeah, I was... I did a lot of shooting. I mean, I ain't saying that I shot you in the ass. I mean, I ain't saying I didn't shoot you... but damn! Somebody shot you in the ass!

Burnett: Tell me about it.

Marcus Burnett: [[w:Miami Police Department|Miami PD] Blue power, motherfuckers! ]!

Mike Lowery: Aw, damn. It's the Negroes!

Mike Lowery: [''Referring to Marcus habitually ad-libbing the first verse''] Dude, you gotta learn the words.

Burnett: We usually only do the chorus.

Det. Marcus Burnett: [''Face down on a stretcher, on the way to the hospital''; [w:trust fund|trust fund; ''Behind him, Mike is mouthing every word in perfect synchrony and rolling his eyes''] You know, unlike you, Mike, my parents didn't leave me no ]. I got real-world issues to deal with, man. I'm not in it for the thrills.

Det. Mike Lowrey: [''During a car chase''; [w:Dan Marino|Dan Marino] You know, ] should definitely buy this car. Well, not this one, cause I'm gonna fuck this one up, but he should definitely get one like it.