27 quotes
The Penguin's Frustration with Betrayal
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
Ya lousy minx! I oughta have you spayed! You sent out all the signals! And I don't think I like you anymore! Goodbye, my unintended. Go to Heaven.
[after Catwoman rejects him; catches her neck in his helicopter umbrella and sends her flying]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Rejection and Defiance in the Shadows
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
They wouldn't put me on a pedestal, so I'm laying em on a slab!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Between Danger and Desire
Security Guard 1
Who is she?
Security Guard 2
What is she? I don't know whether to open fire or fall in love...
Catwoman
You poor guys. Always confusing your pistols with your privates.
[disarms both guards with her whip]
Security Guard 1
Don't hurt us, lady! Our take-home's less than $300!
Catwoman
You're overpaid. Hit the road!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange Between Catwoman and Batman
Catwoman
Did someone say Fish? I haven't been fed this morning.
Batman
Eat floor. It'll be good for you; high in fiber.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Penguin's Dark Plan for Gotham's Children
Penguin
My babies...did you miss me?
Red Triangle Thin Clown
Great speech, Oswald!
Penguin
MY NAME IS NOT OSWALD! IT'S PENGUIN!! I AM NOT A HUMAN BEING!!! I AM AN ANIMAL!!! COLD-BLOODED!!! CRANK THE A.C.!!! WHERE ARE MY LISTS?! BRING ME THE NAMES!!! Ah! It's time...These are the names of the firstborn sons of Gotham City, just like I was. And like me, a terrible fate waits for them: tonight, while their parents party, they'll be dreaming away in their safe cribs, their soft beds. And WE WILL SNATCH THEM, CARRY THEM INTO THE SEWER, AND TOSS THEM INTO A DEEP, DARK WATERY GRAVE...!
[punches him aside with his umbrella; a henchman passes him some papers, which he gives to everyone]
Red Triangle Fat Clown
Erm...Penguin? I mean, killing sleeping children...isn't that a little, uh...?
[last words]
Penguin
No! It's a LOT "uh"!
[shoots clown with gun umbrella; kicks the dead henchman into the sewage river]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Power Dynamics Shift in Gotham City
Batman
Admiring your handiwork?
Penguin
Touring the riot scene. Gravely assessing the devastation. Upstanding mayor stuff.
Batman
You're not the mayor.
Penguin
Things change.
Batman
What do you want?
Penguin
Ah, the direct approach. I admire that in a man with a mask! You don't really think you'll win, do you?
[laughs, then turns serious]
Batman
Things change.
Catwoman
Meow.
Penguin
I saw her first. Gotta fly!
[to Batman; activates his helicopter umbrella and rises away, waving cheerfully]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catwoman Questions the Need for Conflict
Catwoman/Selina Kyle
Oh my God...does this mean we have to start fighting?
[when she and Bruce Wayne realize each other's secret identities]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Penguin's Demands and Mayor's Plea for Mercy
Penguin
You didn't invite me, so I crashed!
[laughs]
Gotham Mayor
What do you want?
Penguin
Right now, my troops are fanning out across town - for your children! Yes! For your first-born sons! The ones you left helpless at home, so you could dress up like jerks, get juiced, and dance...BADLY! I've personally come for Gotham's favorite son, Mr. Chip Shreck! You're coming with me, you great white dope! To die, way down in the sewer!
[crowd gasps]
Max
Not Chip! If you have an iota of human feeling, take me instead!
Penguin
I don't. So no!
[pretends to think for a moment]
Max
I'm the one you want! Ask yourself. Isn't it Max Shreck who manipulated and betrayed you, eh? Isn't it Max, not Chip, who you want to see immersed to his eyeballs in raw sewage?
Penguin
Okay, you've got a point. I'll let the little prince live for now. Now, in the duck!
[reluctantly agrees; hits Chip and gestures to Max]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Gotham's Leadership and Morality
Max Shreck
Ingenious costume, let me guess. Trust-fund goody-goody.
Bruce Wayne
Feeling good, huh? Yeah, well, you almost made a monster of the Mayor of Gotham City.
Shreck
I am the light of this city...and I am its mean, twisted soul. Does it matter who's Mayor?
Wayne
It does to me.
Shreck
Yawn.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Nature of Authenticity and Pretense
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
You're just jealous because I'm a genuine freak, and you have to wear a mask!
[fighting Batman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Empowerment and Identity in Catwoman's Declaration
Catwoman/Selina Kyle
You make it so easy, always waiting for some Batman to save you. I am Catwoman. Hear me roar.
[after saving a woman from a mugger]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catwoman Declines Physical Contact
Catwoman/Selina Kyle
I wouldn't touch you to scratch you.
[to Penguin, rejecting his advances]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catwoman's Playful Reflection on Self-Perception
Catwoman/Selina Kyle
I don't know about you, Miss Kitty, but I feel so much yummier.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Perceptions of Monsters and Respect
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
Odd as it may seem, Max, you and I have something in common: we're both perceived as monsters. But somehow, you're a well-respected monster, and I am, to date, not!
[to Shreck]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Parental Disappointment and Alienation
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
I was their number one son, and they treated me like ].
[about his parents; [w:defecation|number two]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Trio of Gotham's Unlikely Characters
Taglines
The Bat. The Cat. The Penguin.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Penguin's Condemnation of Gotham's Leadership
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
I may have saved the mayor's baby, but I refuse to save a mayor who stood by, helpless as a baby, while Gotham City was ravaged by a disease that turned eagle scouts into crazed clowns and happy homemakers into catwomen!
[to a crowd of voters]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Distrust and Stereotypes in Relationships
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
Hey, why should I trust some cat-broad, anyway? Maybe you're just a screwed-up sorority chick who's gettin back at her daddy for not buying her that pony when she turned sweet sixteen!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Christmas Greetings Between Bruce and Alfred
Alfred Pennyworth
Well, come what may. Merry Christmas, Mr. Wayne.
[driving home]
Bruce Wayne
Merry Christmas, Alfred. Good will toward men...and women.
[sadly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Toxic Waste and Corporate Accountability
Penguin
Ah, what have we here?... A batch of toxic waste, from your "clean textile plant". There's a whole lagoon of this crud in the back!
[takes out a flask, opening it and pouring an eerie green liquid out that dissolves a slab of stone; sets aside flask]
Max
That could've come from anywhere.
Penguin
What about the documents that prove you own half the firetraps in Gotham City?
Max
If there were such documents, and that's not an admission, I would have seen to it they were shredded.
Penguin
Good idea... A lot of tape and a little patience make all the difference. By the way, how's Fred Adkins, your old partner?
[grins; shows shredded papers stuck back together]
Max
Fred? Fred's actually...I believe he's on extended vacation. He's, uh, he's good.
Penguin
Good"... "Hiya, Max! Remember me?! I'm Fred's hand! Yeah, you wanna greet any other body parts?!" Remember, Max: you flush it, I flaunt it.
[chuckles sinisterly; pulls out a severed hand, goes into scary voice; normal]
Max
You know what, Mr...Penguin...sir? I think perhaps I could help orchestrate a little welcome-home scenario for you. And once we're both back home, perhaps we can help each other out.
Penguin
You won't regret this, Mr. Shreck.
[shakes Max's hand with Fred's severed one and leaves Max holding it]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Penguin's Call to Arms
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
My dear penguins, we stand on a great threshold! It's okay to be scared; many of you won't be coming back. Thanks to Batman, the time has come to punish all God's children! First, second, third and fourth-born! Why be biased?! Male and female! Hell, the sexes are equal, with their erogenous zones BLOWN SKY-HIGH!!! FORWAAAARD MARCH!!! THE LIBERATION OF GOTHAM HAS BEGUN!!!!!
[addressing his penguin army; the penguins start deploying]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Rescue by Catwoman
Catwoman/Selina Kyle
Saved by kitty litter... Bastard.
[falls into the back of a dump truck filled with gravel.; looks at the burn mark left by Batman]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dark Bargain for Blood and Wealth
Max
I don't know what you want, but I know I can get it for you, with a minimal fuss. Money. Jewels. A very big ball of string.
[after being pulled out of the water by Catwoman; lashes her whip at him; tries to run away]
Catwoman
Your blood, Max.
[captures him with her whip and pulls him back to her]
Max
My blood, I gave at the office.
Catwoman
A half-pint. I'm talking gallons.
Max
Let's make a deal. Now that I've got my blood, what I can do for you?
Catwoman
Sorry, Max. A die for a die.
Max
You're not just saving a life, you're saving...
[to Batman]
Batman
Shut up. You're going to jail.
[pushes him away]
Catwoman
Don't be naīve! The law doesn't apply to people like him or us!
[to Batman]
Batman
Wrong on both counts. Why are you doing this? Let's just take him to the police...then, we can go home...together. Selina... don't you see? We're the same. We're the same...Split right down the center. Selina, please.
[Max is shocked; pulls off his mask, revealing his identity as Bruce Wayne]
Catwoman
Bruce...I would - I would love to live with you in your castle...forever, just like in a fairy tale. I just couldn't live with myself, so don't pretend this is a happy ending!
[choked up; Batman caresses the back of her head, but she claws him on the cheek]
Max
Selina? Selina Kyle? You're fired! And Bruce. Why are you dressed up like Batman?
[Catwoman faces him and takes off her mask; pointedly; to Batman]
Catwoman
Because he is Batman, you moron!
Max
Was. Don't!
[produces a gun; shoots Batman in the chest, knocking him down. Catwoman reacts to the shooting]
Catwoman
You killed me. The Penguin killed me. Batman killed me. That's three lives down - you got enough in there to finish me off?!
Max
One way to find out.
[last words; shoots Catwoman twice]
Catwoman
Four...five... Still alive! Six...seven...all good girls go to heaven... Two lives left. I think I'll save one for next Christmas. But in the meantime...How about a kiss, Santy Claus?
[pretends to die, but laughs; swings whip around, then cracks it loudly; the shocked Max shoots her twice again; Max fires the gun again, but it is empty; she laughs; Batman gets up; unnoticed; kisses Schreck in the lips with a stun gun in between them while holding a live power line]
The Penguin
Ugh! Shit! I picked the cute one! The heat's getting to me...I'll murder you momentarily...but first, I need a cold drink of iced water...
[last words; drops it; gagging; gags, then falls and drops dead]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mastering the City with Manipulation
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
You gotta admit, I've played this stinkin city like a harp from Hell!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Search for Identity and Respect
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
I wasn't born in the sewer, you know. I come from... Like you! And like you, I want some respect! A recognition of my basic humanity! But most of all...I wanna find out who I am. By finding my parents, learning my human name. Simple stuff that the good people of Gotham take for granted!
[to Shreck; indicates to a broken skylight, then turns to Max]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Fear of the Unusual in Human Nature
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
But it's human nature to fear the unusual.
[to crowd]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Irony of Personal Consequences
The Penguin/Oswald Cobblepot
Hi. I believe the word you're looking for is "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Actually, this is all just a bad dream. You're at home in bed, heavily sedated, resting comfortably...dying from the carcinogens you personally spewed in a lifetime of profiteering. Tragic irony, or poetic justice? You tell me.
[to Max Shreck, after kidnapping him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.