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"Have you ever had a really big secret?"

PG 1988 · 1h 44m
72
Audience
72
Audience
20 quotes
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Embracing the Irreplaceable Nature of Youth
Taglines You're only young once!
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Video Game and Household Chores Collide
Computer game You are standing in the cavern of the evil ice wizard. All around you are the carcasses of slain ice dwarves.
Mrs. Baskin Josh, take out the garbage!
Josh In a minute, Mom! Melt the wizard. Melt wizard.
[talking to himself; typing]
Computer game What do you want to melt him with?
Josh What do you think I want to use? Throw the thermal pod.
Mrs. Baskin JOSH!! The garbage is starting to stink up the house! Take it out, NOW!!
Mr. Baskin Josh, you heard your mother!
Computer game Your hesitancy has cost you dearly. The wizard, sensing your apprehension, fires a fatal bolt from his ice scepter. With luck, you will thaw in several million years.
Josh Great.
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Advice on approaching someone you're interested in
Scotty Brennen See that girl over there in the red? Say "hi" to her and she's yours. She'll have her legs around you so tight you'll be begging for mercy.
Josh Well, I'll stay away from her, then.
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Debate on What Constitutes a Sport
Josh I'm much better at video hockey.
Paul That's not a sport.
Josh It requires hand and eye coordination.
Paul It's not a sport if you don't sweat.
Josh What about golf? It's a sport and you don't sweat.
Paul It's not a sport if you let a machine do all the work.
Josh What about car racing?
Paul Shut up, Baskin.
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A Mother's Threat to Protect Her Son
Mrs. Baskin You have my son?
[on the phone]
Josh Yes.
Mrs. Baskin Look, if you touch one hair on his head, I swear I will spend the rest of my life making sure you suffer.
Josh Wow, thanks.
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Miscommunication at the Reception Desk
Josh Social security number?
Josh What was that?
Billy My locker combination.
Receptionist Mr. Baskin?
Billy Remember, Josh, eye contact!
Receptionist Your son will have to wait out here.
Josh Certainly. OK son, you heard the lady. Don't give anyone a hard time.
Billy Sure thing, "Dad".
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The Weight of a Big Secret
Taglines Have you ever had a really big secret?
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Confrontation Over Past Encounters and Deadlines
Josh Will you please leave? I got a deadline to meet. Gosh.
Billy Who the fuck do you think you are?
Josh HEY!
Billy You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!
Josh You don't get it, do you? This is important!
Billy I'm your best friend. What's more important than that, huh? And I'm three months older than you are, ASSHOLE!
[Turns to leave]
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Wishing to Grow Up with Zoltar
Josh Zoltar Speaks?
[to himself, at a carnival where he finds an antiquated fortune-telling machine]
Josh Work, work, work, dammit!
[annoyed, hitting machine]
Machine Aim ramp at Zoltar's mouth
Machine Zoltar says make your wish.
Josh I wish I were big.
Card Your wish is granted.
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Navigating Bureaucracy for Amusement Listings
Josh I want a listing of all amusement arcades and carnivals in the tri-state area.
Clerk Consumer Affairs, down the hall.
Bureaucrat Fill this out in triplicate, five dollar processing charge.
Billy See, no problem.
Bureaucrat Standard six-week wait with backlog.
Billy and Josh Six weeks??!
[in unison]
Bureaucrat Could take longer, but hey, you could get lucky.
Josh I am going to be 30 years old for the rest of my life.
Billy Come on Josh, it is only for six weeks. Besides, you may be even older that that! ha ha!
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Job Interview Exchange in an Office Setting
Office worker It says you have four years of experience in computers, good. But you are missing a couple of numbers on the social security.
Josh Uh, um, twelve.
Office worker OK, 1-2. Office worker puts in numbers Where did you go to school?
Josh Hmmm, it was called George Washington.
Office worker Oh, ]! My brother-in-law got his doctorate there. Did you pledge?
[[w:George Washington University|G.W]
Josh Yes, every morning.
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Missing Child Case Sparks Unusual Reactions
Policeman This is one of the oddest missing child cases. His mother is all hysterical; cannot get a word out of her. No sign of forced entry, no ransom note and the only fingerprints we found all belonged to the Baskin family.
Kid #1 Bet he got sick of his parents and ran away. Wish I could do that.
Kid #2 I will help you pack.
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From Desires to Dreams: A Transformation
Taglines Yesterday Josh Wanted Everything In Life - Girls...Money...Cars... Today, All His Wildest Dreams Have Come True!
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Getting Paid to Play with Toys
Billy So you got a job, where you play with all these toys.
Josh Yup!
Billy And they're gonna pay you for that?
Josh Yup!
Billy SUCKERS!
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A Boy's Wish Realized in Adulthood
Taglines Yesterday 12-year old Josh Baskin wanted money, cars, and girls. Today he got all those.
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The Appeal of Maturity in Relationships
Paul What is so special about Baskin?
Susan He's a grown up.
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Youthful Experiences Can Last a Lifetime
Taglines You're Only Young Once But For Josh It Might Just Last A Lifetime.
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Uncertain Feelings About Spending the Night
Susan I'm not so sure we should do this.
Josh Do what?
Susan Well, I like you, and I want to spend the night with you.
Josh Do you mean sleep over?
Susan Well, yeah.
Josh Well, okay, but I get to be on top.
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Directions to Sea Point Park
Billy There. Sea Point Park!
Josh Thanks.
Billy See you around.
Josh Taxi! Sea Point Park, please.
Billy Sea Point Park? Way to go, Josh!
Susan You know Josh?
Billy Yes, I am his friend.
Susan I am...his girlfriend.
Billy His girlfriend?? Whoa!
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Searching for Josh Baskin's Employment History
Paul Have you tried Mattel?
Susan Yes.
Paul Well, how about Coleco?
Susan Yes, as well as Fisher Price and Worlds of Wonder. None of these places reported ever having a Josh Baskin on their payroll.
Paul Well, he's got to come from somewhere. The guy just does not come into the executive offices out of the blue.
Susan Face it Paul, the man comes from data processing.
Paul It's a mystery.
Milk Carton MISSING: JOSHUA BASKIN