Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

Larry the Cable Guy The one thing my grandma does do that irritates me is she gets the walkin farts, you know. Every step she takes, something come out, you know. But the-- It's horrible. But the worst part is, she gets the walkin farts at the flea market. And that's bad because when she's at the flea market, she wears them spandex drawers. So now it can't escape nowhere, you know what I mean? And she let out a walkin fart in them spandex drawers, looks like a mouse runnin down the inside of her pant leg right there, like that. Good Lord. Yeah. And then it starts to form a big ball in the back of her britches because it can't escape. It looks like she stole a cabbage or somethin'. And the feller runnin the cabbage stand in there thought she was stealin cabbages. So he goes, "You're stealin cabbages." He went to rip her britches down... I'm haulin ass about this time, you know, because I know Hiroshima fittin to hit up there at the flea market. When he ripped them down, good Lord. Sounded like a big rig lettin out the brake pressure. He ripped them down and . "What the hell?" Critters runnin around... critters runnin around with no fur on em, and people melded to the walls, and Grandpa's pissed. He's like: " You want to get out of the flea market before you kill everybody in here? This is ridiculous!

Larry the Cable Guy Whatever happened to good-lookin flight attendants? Good lord, I had the Oak Ridge Boys with titties, on this one airplane I was on. They were ugly, I tell you. And I looked right at that one girl and my wiener went in and out my butt crack. I mean, that's how... That's a true story right there! I ain't makin that up. I seen her, my wiener come out, went like that, turned around, Shot right out my dadgum hind end there. And that's documented right there. You know you're ugly when you're makin fellers poop their own wiener. You know what I mean? That's... that's Glamour Shots or something right there.