Bowfinger Quotes

Bobby Bowfinger See that FedEx truck? Every day, it delivers important papers to people all around the world. And one day, it is going to stop here, and a man is going to walk up and casually toss a couple of FedExes on my desk. And at that moment, we- and by we, I mean me - will be important.

Kit Hey, ]. It's not funny!

Terry Stricter You realize all courts in the country would consider this blackmail!

Bobby Bowfinger I don't know anything about blackmail. I'm just a guy with a great film. I need a shot of Kit saying, "Gotcha, suckers" and a couple of close-ups. Or we'll use a shot of Kit wagging his thing at the Laker Girls. Which is a great ending, though not such a good ending for Kit. It could sort of stop his money flow and possibly make that family film he's about to do, just go, pfft.

Stricter We'll have to think about it. We'll have to think about it, for Kit.

Bowfinger Now that you've had time to think about it, what do you and the other fellows here at MindF'ng Head think?

Taglines The Con is On.

Actor Then I studied at the Moscow Arts Theater for two years and did a year at the National in London. I'm currently doing a midnight production of Waiting for Godot here in L.A.

Bowfinger And are you in the union?

Actor Yes, I am.

Robert We're finished! It's over between us!

Daisy But why?

Robert You slept with Jiff.

Daisy So?

Robert Never thought of it that way.

Daisy I'll see you tonight at eight?

Robert Okay.

Daisy I could never be with you, Todd. I'm loyal to Keith. I'm loyal to him. I could never, never kiss you.

Bowfinger Okay, that was very good. Let's try it one more time, Slater, this time without the erection.

Terry Stricter Well, it seems the paranoid are sometimes actually being followed.

Robert This film is only for Madagascar and Iran. Neither of which follow American copyright law.

Store Manager The store would be happy to offer you these clothes without charge if you'd come back Friday, let us take a picture for LA Style of you wearing the clothes.

Kit Ramsey I can do that. It'll cost you $1,000. I'll be here Friday, 4:00.

Store Manager I'm sure that could be arranged.

Ramsey Hundred-dollar bills.

Store Manager Right.

Carol I know I shouldn't do this, I just want you to know that you were so real in your response to the aliens. I wasn't even sure I could be a pod person, but now I'm enjoying it because you made the aliens come alive. It was like they were living inside of me. At first I was nervous about us having sex but now I think it's fine as long as we do it in a professional manner. There'll be a lot of people watching. I won't bother you anymore.

Kit Ramsey White boys get all the Oscars. It's a fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No and you know why? Cause I ain't played none of them slave roles, or get my ass whipped. That's when you get the nominations. Black dude play a slave role, gets his ass whipped, gets the nomination, white boy play an idiot, they get the Oscar. Find me a script as a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar.