Bowfinger (1999) - Quotes

Taglines: The Con is On.

Kit: [with head covered by a paper bag; [w:Laker Girls|Laker Girls; partly opens coat to show his naked body; Laker Girls laugh; scampers off] Hey, ]. It's not funny!

Terry Stricter: You realize all courts in the country would consider this blackmail!

Bobby Bowfinger: I don't know anything about blackmail. I'm just a guy with a great film. I need a shot of Kit saying, "Gotcha, suckers" and a couple of close-ups. Or we'll use a shot of Kit wagging his thing at the Laker Girls. Which is a great ending, though not such a good ending for Kit. It could sort of stop his money flow and possibly make that family film he's about to do, just go, pfft.

Stricter: We'll have to think about it. We'll have to think about it, for Kit.

Bowfinger: Now that you've had time to think about it, what do you and the other fellows here at MindF'ng Head think?

Terry Stricter: [parts bushes and sees the film crew] Well, it seems the paranoid are sometimes actually being followed.

Robert: This film is only for Madagascar and Iran. Neither of which follow American copyright law.

Robert: We're finished! It's over between us!

Daisy: But why?

Robert: You slept with Jiff.

Daisy: So?

Robert: Never thought of it that way.

Daisy: I'll see you tonight at eight?

Robert: Okay.

Actor: Then I studied at the Moscow Arts Theater for two years and did a year at the National in London. I'm currently doing a midnight production of Waiting for Godot here in L.A.

Bowfinger: And are you in the union?

Actor: [gets kicked out] Yes, I am.

Store Manager: The store would be happy to offer you these clothes without charge if you'd come back Friday, let us take a picture for LA Style of you wearing the clothes.

Kit Ramsey: I can do that. It'll cost you $1,000. I'll be here Friday, 4:00.

Store Manager: I'm sure that could be arranged.

Ramsey: Hundred-dollar bills.

Store Manager: Right.

Carol: [faces Kit; lightly touches Kit's cheek with her hand. Kit gets unsettled] I know I shouldn't do this, I just want you to know that you were so real in your response to the aliens. I wasn't even sure I could be a pod person, but now I'm enjoying it because you made the aliens come alive. It was like they were living inside of me. At first I was nervous about us having sex but now I think it's fine as long as we do it in a professional manner. There'll be a lot of people watching. I won't bother you anymore.

Daisy: [reads script; looks at Todd and they torridly kiss] I could never be with you, Todd. I'm loyal to Keith. I'm loyal to him. I could never, never kiss you.

Bowfinger: Okay, that was very good. Let's try it one more time, Slater, this time without the erection.

Kit Ramsey: [lamenting to his agent about being passed over for choice roles and the agent could hardly get a word edgewise] White boys get all the Oscars. It's a fact. Did I ever get a nomination? No and you know why? Cause I ain't played none of them slave roles, or get my ass whipped. That's when you get the nominations. Black dude play a slave role, gets his ass whipped, gets the nomination, white boy play an idiot, they get the Oscar. Find me a script as a retarded slave, then I'll get the Oscar.

Bobby Bowfinger: [looking at FedEx truck coming into his street] See that FedEx truck? Every day, it delivers important papers to people all around the world. And one day, it is going to stop here, and a man is going to walk up and casually toss a couple of FedExes on my desk. And at that moment, we- and by we, I mean me - will be important.