Death to Smoochy poster

Death to Smoochy Quotes

"Get ready for an unexpected hit."

R 2002 · 1h 49m
59
Audience
Apple TV Store Rent on Apple TV Store
59
Audience
31 quotes
Death to Smoochy
Reflections on Youth and Flexibility
Nora That was a long time ago. I was young and stupid.
Randolph And limber.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Avoiding Blame and Poking Fingers
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy Now I'm not pointing any fingers, Lord knows you start pointing fingers and someone's gonna get poked. And I want you both to know that its not my intention to try and poke either of you.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Confronting Consequences of a Mistake
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy You just F**ked up with the wrong rhino...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
A Darkly Humorous Take on Justice
Tommy We're going to find him, cut off his balls, and shove em up his ass.
Sheldon Well, maybe we should leave that for the cops, Tommy.
Roy Cops won't do the ball thing, it's against procedure.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Mistaken Intentions and Childlike Interests
Merv Green It was a mistake! An honest mistake! I only did it to help the children!
Tommy Kotter You like kids, eh?
Merv Green Yes!
Tommy Kotter You like fairy tales, then?
Merv Green Yeah!
Tommy Kotter Jimmy, tell him the one about the worthless prick that got his head chopped off with an axe.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Friendship Knows No Boundaries
Rainbow Randolph Friends Come in all Sizes!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Conflict Over Creative Control in Business
Randolph You want your little booger eater on my show?
Wife Yes, very much.
Randolph Then don't tell me how to run my fucking business.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Making a Dent in the World
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy You can't change the world but you can make a dent.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Adjusting to a New Family Dynamic
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy He slams the door, He stomps his feet, He sends me to bed with zilch to eat. But my step-dad's not mean, he's just adjusting.
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
The Irony of Maintaining a Clean Image
Rainbow Randolph Even when you're squeaky clean, you can still fall in the mud.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Rainbow Randolph's Kingdom of Fun
Rainbow Randolph Do not start with your magician's tricks, young Moses! I am Pharaoh! And you are my slave...and this is my kingdom! Rainbow Randolph is the man; Yes, oh, yes, he is! He's the king of Rainbowland; Yes, oh, yes, he is! With some fun, fun here and a laugh, laugh there, Here a dance, there a song; everything is fun, fun! Rainbow Randolph is the King La, la, la, la...
[to Sheldon; starts singing to the tune of Old MacDonald Had a Farm; stars to cry; covers his face]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Responsibility to Kids and Society
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy There are a lot of kids and a lot of junkies out there who are counting on me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Vengeful Threat from Rainbow Randolph
Rainbow Randolph You better grow eyes in the back of your fucking head, you horned piece of shit, because I'm not gonna sleep until ] are crawling right up your foamy rubber ass! I'm going on a safari, motherfucker! SAH-FAR-I!
[[worms; makes an elephant noise]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Childhood Games and Identity Reflection
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy When my brothers and I played cowboys and Indians, I was always the Chinese railroad worker.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Smoochy's Guide to Happiness and Joy
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy Where can you go when skies turn grey? Where the sun always shines and the animals play? Where every day is a happy day? Well, Smoochy's here to show the way!
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Rainbow Randolph's Fiery Hatred Revealed
Rainbow Randolph I despise you... I LOATHE YOU!!! Bastard son of ]! Die! Die, you stuffed ball of fluff! You illegitimate ]! Die, you ] from hell! Die, you foam motherfucker! Die! Die!
[[w:Barney and Friends|Barney; [w:Teletubbies|Teletubby; [w:The Muppets|Muppet]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Chaos and Deception Unfold in Conversation
Angelo Pike He was jacked up higher than a prom dress in June.
Tommy Cotter It's a shame this happened. Okay, now let's go pray and get shit-faced.
[at a funeral]
Nora Wells You're here to sell sugar and plastic.
Nora Wells Sheldon, He Set You Up! Look Up There he Is! He's Getting Away Sheldon! No! Sheldon!
Merv Green Wipe your forehead Frank, you got plenty of time to sweat.
Merv Green Eventually we all grow old and die, only sometimes the growing old part doesn't happen.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
A Conversation About a Hammer
Tommy Kotter Roy, have you got the hammer?
Roy Always got the hammer, Tommy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Jealousy and Revenge in Turbulent Relationships
Randolph First, he takes my career, then my life, now my girl.
[calm, but livid]
Angelo Calm down, Randy, she's not your girl anymore.
Randolph The balls on that fuchsia FUCK!!! I'm gonna tear him APART! Piece by piece! PIECE BY PIECE!
[loses his temper; rips apart the newspaper]
Angelo You said it's time to heal, now stop it.
Randolph I'm going to take him apart. Hoof by hoof! Horn by horn! ONCE AND FOR ALL, NOW AND FOREVER!!!
[grabs Angelo]
Angelo What happened to graciously marching forward?
Randolph MOTHERFUCKER!!!
[walks up to a window and screams into the sky]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Rainbow Randolph's Colorful Description of Anatomy
Rainbow Randolph What are you, blind? It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you dumb fuck! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! Yeah, it's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.
[Smoochy holds up a penis-shaped cookie made by Randolph]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
A Call for Attention from Sheldon Mopes
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy BURKE! BURKE, GET BACK HERE!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Awkward Fun Experience
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy Wasn't that fun in an Awkward Way?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Office Views and Misunderstandings
Sheldon I'll be in my office, the big one with a view!
Nora They all have views, you dumb shit!
Sheldon Not looking this way, cupcake!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Threatening Legal Action Against Rivals
Rainbow Randolph All right, you spudsucking fucks! I'm suing your Riverdance ass! I'm gonna send you all the way back home, eh?!
[after being assaulted by Tommy and her henchmen; heavy Irish accent]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Embracing Controversy in the Spotlight
Reporter How does it feel to be the most hated man in America?
Randolph In this country full of neanderthals, I wear it as a fucking badge of honor.
Reporter 2 Nora Wells says you have an unhealthy obsession with Mopes.
Randolph I barely know that bitch, okay? And she's been down on everything but the Titanic. She spreads like cream cheese for Sheldon.
Reporter 3 What about the rumors that you're mentally imbalanced?
Randolph WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?! THAT'S BULLSHIT!!! I'm not mentally imbalanced. I'm on the same dosage I've always been.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Belief in Genuine Characters and Values
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy Captain Kangaroo, like ], was someone you could really believe in. With those guys, it wasn't about the bells and whistles and the ricketa-racketa; it was all about the work. Especially Jesus.
[[Jesus]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Unexpected Effects of Orange Juice
Bartender I never saw anyone get buzzed off of orange juice.
Sheldon Let me tell you a secret - if you squirt a little liquid alfalfa in, it's blast-off time.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Addressing the Cycle of Addiction
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy Let's face it. Big junkies come from little junkies. We gotta nip this in the bud, Burke!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Unexpected Crisis and Legal Confusion
Rainbow Randolph I've been shot! I'm bleeding! ]! You're a lawyer! That's salmonella!
[after getting egged; [w:Salmonella|Salmonella]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Rainbow Randolph's Unexpected Comment on a Rhino
Rainbow Randolph Hello, little nipple-nibbler. The rhino's a Nazi!
[to a baby, after framing Sheldon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death to Smoochy
Feeling Overwhelmed and Disoriented
Sheldon Mopes/Smoochy Someone toss me a beach towel because my head is swimming.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.