Despicable Me 2 poster

Despicable Me 2 Quotes

"More minions. More despicable."

PG 2013 · 1h 38m
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31 quotes
Despicable Me 2
Gru's Desperate Plea for a Fairy
Gru Listen! I do not want a ]; I want the fairy ]... please! Please, I am begging you!
[[refund; [princess]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Communication Breakdown Among Friends
Gru Kevin, the Wi-Fi's out! Kevin? Hey, Lance, where the heck is Kevin? All right. We need to revisit the number of vacation days you guys get. I can't find anybody anymore.
[groans; pause; to a Minion; Lance scoffs and shrugs; Gru sighs]
Jillian Gru! It's Jillian! I brought good news! I have my friend Shannon here with me. I was thinking, you two, can get some grub, you know, tear it up, see what happens! Uh, open up!
[''off-screen''; ''Annoyed by her, Gru shoots an imaginary bullet in his head, becoming really bored''; ''cut on her with another woman''; ''cracks herself up; cut on Gru seeing Agnes approaching; off-screen'']
Gru Agnes, Agnes. Tell Jillian I'm not here.
[''whispers''; ''Agnes stops singing'']
Agnes Gru's not here!
Jillian Are you sure?
Agnes Yes, he just told me!
Gru Mmm-mmm!
[''cringes'']
Agnes I mean, no. He didn't just tell me.
Jillian Agnes, where is Gru?
[''laughs; peeking through the keyhole'']
Agnes He's putting on lipstick. He's swatting at flies!
[''Gru swings his arms wildly, convincing her to stop'']
Gru No! No!
[''makes a "cut it off" gesture'']
Agnes He's chopping his head off! He’s pooping?
[''skipping''; ''Gru covers his head, groaning loudly''; ''confused'']
Jillian I know you're in there, Gru! There's no way you're getting out of this. Gru!
[''off-screen'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Unexpected Discoveries and Reactions to Serum
Lucy How're they working? Tell me, tell me!
[''referring to the X-ray goggles'']
Gru Aah! Oof!
[''frightened upon seeing Lucy via the X-ray goggles'']
Lucy What's wrong? Something wrong?
[''confused'']
Gru Oh, that's an image I'll never get out of my brain. Blagh! I knew it! The serum is in here!
[''dazed''; ''continues looking with the x-ray goggles until he sees a portrait holding something; smiling sinisterly''; ''gasps; removes the painting off the wall, revealing a safe'']
Lucy Ooh, then let’s get it!
Gru Oh, this is going to be good! Ahh... Aha! What? It's salsa?
[''takes a safe-cracking device out of his pocket, placing it over the combination wheel which activates automatically; giggling gleefully''; ''the safe opens, revealing something other than the serum''; ''realizing the canister does not contain the serum''; ''it is revealed he is holding a jar filled with salsa'']
Lucy Aw, man.
[''disappointed'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Unexpected Skills and Awkward Moments
Lucy Oof, wasn’t expecting that. Or was I? Ooh, you got... you got a little of... Here, I’ll... I’ll get it... Oh, that’s just spreading... um...
[to herself; out of breath; ''strikes a martial arts pose''; ''turns to Gru''; ''a purple frosting-covered Gru gives her a deadpan glare. A second later, a cupcake slowly falls off his head, leaving a long smear on it''; ''tries to remove the icing off a dumbstruck Gru’s face'']
Gru All right, all right. I got it, I got it! Stop it!
[''irritated'']
Lucy Oh. I'll let you get it. Yeah, what you just saw there was a little something new I have been working on. It’s a combination of Jujitsu, Krav Maga, Aztec warfare and krumpin'!
[''backs off''; ''takes a deep breath''; ''Gru sighs and rubs the icing off his face, then uses his scarf like a towel to clean it''; ''singing'']
Gru Okay, that’s weird. Why are you here?
[''annoyed'']
Lucy On assignment from Silas. I’m your new partner! Yay!
[''suddenly appears in front of Gru''; ''grabs Gru by his jacket's lapels; excited''; ''starts dancing'']
Gru What?! No, no yay! Ramsbottom didn’t say anything about a partner.
[''mocking''; ''normal voice'']
Lucy Well, it seems that because of your checkered past, everyone else refused to work with you. But not me! I stepped up. And I’m new, so I kind of have to do what they tell me anyway.
Dave Voila!
[''comes out of the kitchen, then shows them a Minion-shaped cupcake'']
Lucy You know this guy?
[''referring to Dave; to Gru'']
Gru Yes, he's one of my Minions.
[calmly]
Lucy Oh, I’m sorry. I should have known. You’re free to go.
[''groans in disappointment and smiles embarrassingly''; ''to Dave, releasing him'']
Gru Dave... Earth to Dave!
[''v.o.''; ''cut on a love struck Dave air kissing; whistles'']
Dave Huh?
[''snaps out and sees Gru and Lucy looking at him'']
Gru You can leave now.
Dave Oh, uh...
[''gibberish, then enters the kitchen'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Bedtime Routines and Responsibilities
Gru All right, homework done, pajamas on, teeth brushed, time for bed.
[''entering the girls' bedroom'']
Margo What's the big hurry?
Gru I just... I have a lot of work to do.
Edith Work, what kind of work?
Gru Very important business. So hugs, kisses... Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs blah-blah-blah-blah-blah...
[''gives the girls a hug and kisses their foreheads, then puts them in bed, while throwing Edith''; ''suddenly sees Agnes standing at the doorway'']
Agnes But you said me you would help me practice my part for the Mother’s Day show.
Gru Fine, fine... Let me hear it, quickly.
[''sighs; giving in''; ''reluctantly'']
Agnes She kisses my boo-boos, she braids my hair. My mother is beyond compare. We love you mothers everywhere.
[''blankly''; ''smiles at Gru'']
Gru Wow! That was... something else! I really like the way you smiled at the end. Let's try this one more time, but a teensy bit less like a zombie, okay?
[''surprised'']
Agnes Okay. She kisses my boo-boos, she braids my hair...
[''blankly'']
Gru Perfect. Time to go.
[''cuts her off, throws the script and turns around walking away'']
Agnes I don't think I should do this.
Gru Well, what do you mean? How come?
[''stopping'']
Agnes I don't even have a mom.
Gru Well, you don't need one to do the show. I mean, you did the Veteran's Day pageant, and you haven't been in combat.
Agnes This is different.
Gru Okay, well, then... maybe you could just use your imagination.
Agnes You mean I pretend that I have a mom?
Gru Yes, right. You can do that, can't you?
Agnes Yeah! I do that all the time! Thanks, Gru!
[''delightedly''; ''gives him a kiss and leaves; Gru is confused'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Gru's Intuition on El Macho and Son
Silas I'm sorry. El Macho? Haven't we eliminated him as a suspect, after the whole "Salsa" incident?
Gru Yes, but there has been a new development and I'm telling you: This is the guy. You need to arrest him immediately. And his deviously charming son! I'm pretty sure the son is involved in too. The son also. You got to get the son! I think that the son is the mastermind. There is a look. There is a devilish look in his eyes and I don't like it!
[''referring to Antonio; whispering''; ''gets back in his chair'']
Silas Yes, but I don't really see any evidence for-
Gru Evidence, schmevidence! I go with my gut and my gut tells me this guy is El Macho! Lock him up! Lock up the son. Don't forget about the son. The kid GIVES ME THE CREEPS!
[''cuts him off'']
Silas Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear...
Lucy Uh, but on the less crazy side of things, uh, Gru discovered traces of the serum at Eagle Hair Club.
[''whistles'']
Silas Hmm, interesting.
[''regaining his interest'']
Lucy Yeah! And you know who made that happen? Huh? This guy. Nailed it! Amazing, right?
[''referring to Gru and pointing at him'']
Gru No, I mean... Sure, but it's not him. It is... ...El Macho!
[''whispering while glaring in Lucy's eyes'']
Silas Mr. Gru, please...
Gru No. It is him! And I will prove it!
[''gets out of his chair and back outside'']
Lucy Gru, c'mon. He really thinks it's El Macho. Can you tell?
[''tries to stop him with no luck''; ''turns to Silas; referring to Gru; chuckles nervously''; ''pause''; ''Silas gives her a bland glare'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Investigating Suspect #8 in Despicable Me 2
Lucy All right, there he is. Suspect #8 - Floyd Eaglesan.
[''puts on her binoculars'']
Gru Oh, okay.
Lucy See if you can get closer. Go, go...
Gru Alright, what do-- Oh, no. That's not good!
[''tries to approach the entrance but makes a sharp noise when moving the garbage bin; Floyd Eagle-san turns back and looks around, then enters the store''; ''when a man attempts to throw a cup of hot coffee into Gru's garbage can; to himself''; ''suddenly freezes, revealing his legs. Confused, the man tries it again, but Gru dodges and takes off running, accidentally hitting a bent-over woman's butt before he falls down the escalator, rolling out of the garbage can and stumbling upon his daughters'']
Agnes Hey, Gru!
[''o.s.'']
Gru Oh, girls! What are you doing here?
[''looks up and sees the girls in front of him'']
Margo Well, we thought we'd come to visit you at work. So... you're saving the world in a garbage can?
[''looks at her father and the trash can'']
Gru Ah ha ha ha ha! Funny.
[''sarcastically'']
Lucy Hey, there you are. Oh, who's this?
[''comes up from behind Gru''; ''looking at the girls'']
Gru Lucy, these are my girls - Margo, Edith and Agnes. Girls, Lucy. Lucy, girls.
Margo Hello!
Edith Hi!
Agnes Are you single?
[''stares at Lucy, seeing a magical glow around her; sincerely'']
Lucy Oh. Goodness...
Gru Oh! Hey, I have an idea! Since Lucy and I have lots of work to do, why don't you girls go and explore the mall? Here's some money. Go buy some useless mall junk, some headbands and...
[''leaves Lucy along with the girls'']
Agnes Are you gonna marry Lucy?
Gru Are you out of your gourd? No! She just works with me.
Agnes Plus you love her. You love her! You love her! You really, really love her, and you're gonna get married! And I'll be the flower girl!
[''happily singing and dancing, attracting attention to everyone in the mall'']
Gru Okay, stop. This is a song of lies. I don't even like her. Now go have fun.
[''points to the mall''; ''The girls leave; prepares to stand up'']
Agnes Almost forgot! Hugs!
[''laughs''; ''storms off to Gru along with her older siblings to give him a hug, throwing themselves on top of him'']
Margo Good luck saving the world! Bye!
Agnes Bye, Gru!
[''runs away happily'']
Gru Kids... right? They're... funny.
[''walks back to Lucy, chuckling awkwardly'']
Lucy Those girls totally adore you! I bet you're a fun dad.
[''walks away with a smile'']
Gru Huh, I am pretty fun.
[''in a bland tone'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Self-Identification by Margo
Margo I am Margo.
[Upon seeing Antonio]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Anticipation of the Fairy Princess Visit
Gru No, no, no! What do you mean, she’s not coming?! I have a backyard full of these little girls who are counting on a visit from a fairy princess! Ah! Hurts! Ah! Stop it! Listen! I don’t want a refund! I want a fairy princess, please! Please, I am begging you. You know what? I hope that you can sleep at night, you crusher of little girls’ dreams!
[on the phone; ''a Minion accidentally hits his shin with a mace''; chases him off with his spatula; sighs before getting back on the phone; ''pauses''; ''hits the phone with his spatula and hangs up'']
Agnes Ooh, ooh, when is the fairy princess coming?
[''approaches him'']
Gru Any minute now.
[''in a happy singsong voice'']
Agnes Yay! I'm so happy!
[''runs off and chokes Edith'']
Gru Stall them!
[''to the Minions; quietly'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Choosing a Picture Together
Margo Okay, we need to choose a picture.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Margo Welcomes Dr. Nefario's Return
Margo Dr. Nefario! You’re back!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Embracing the Peace of Silence
Margo Ah. Silence at last.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Investigating Suspects in a Case
Gru So, what do we got? Who’s on the list? Fire em at me.
[''looking around the mall with a periscope along with Lucy'']
Lucy First suspect, Hedda Blumentoft, owner of the Mum’s the Word Floral Shop.
Gru No, not her.
Lucy Okay, moving on... Chuck Kinney, "owner of Stuff-a-Bear". Ooh.
[''a boy receives a balloon from Chuck, but it pops, making the boy wail'']
Gru I don’t think so.
Eduardo Hello? Buenos dias, my friends! I am Eduardo Perez, owner of Salsa y Salsa restaurant, across the mall. Now open for breakfast. And you are...?
[''suddenly comes inside the shop''; ''Gru and Lucy force themselves to act natural'']
Gru Gru. And this is Lucy. And we are closed.
[''introducing'']
Eduardo This is just gonna take un momento. I am throwing a big Cinco de Mayo party, and I am going to need two hundred of your best cupcakes decorated with the Mexican flag. It looks something like this. What do you think?
[''rips his shirt open, revealing a giant tattoo of the Mexican flag on his chest''; ''flexes and makes his chest wave'']
Gru Look away!
[''hides his eyes in disgust'']
Lucy You—Whoa... Hooo...
[''stares at Eduardo'']
Eduardo Anyway, I have to go. It’s all settled! I pick ‘em up next week! Have a good day. Come by if you get a chance, okay? And welcome to the mall family!
[''leaves the store; Gru groans in relief; suddenly pops back in''; ''Gru studies his face and gasps, seeing Eduardo in a red luchador mask surrounded by flames as he leaves the mall'']
Gru El Macho.
[''whispering to himself'']
Lucy What?
[''confused'']
Gru But it couldn't be...
[''looking through the window'']
Lucy Wha... What? What couldn't be?
Gru That guy looks exactly like a villain named El Macho... from about 20 years ago. He was ruthless... He was dangerous... And as the name implies... Very macho! He had the reputation of committing heists using only his bare hands! But sadly, like all the greats, El Macho was gone too soon. He died in the most macho way possible - riding a shark with 250 pounds of dynamite strapped to his chest ] ] and the differences between ] and a ] ] ] ] within ] ] and into the mouth of an active volcano ]! It was glorious!
[''referring to Eduardo''; ''a flashback reveals El Macho, 2 decades ago; voice-over''; ''El Macho empties a bottle of tequila into a glass and smashes it over his head''; ''El Macho squeezes a rattlesnake's venom out of his fangs, filling his glass''; ''El Macho simply eats his glass''; ''El Macho pins his money to the bar with the rattlesnake's fangs and leaves through the wall''; ''El Macho stops a cargo truck with his head, then punches the driver out''; [w:I'm on a Boat|on a boat; [w:Clams (SpongeBob SquarePants)|in a filthy lagoon; [w:Cool Cat (Looney Tunes)|Cool Cat; [w:The Big Potato|Big Potato; [SpongeBob SquarePants|in a pineapple under the; [w:Hell|hell michigan; [Shark Tale|inside Oscar’s apartment; [w:Doctor Eggman|Robotnik’s expensive, magnificent and opulent butt; [w:M. Night Shaym-Aliens!|inside a giant simulation; [Courage the Cowardly Dog|in the middle of nowhere]
Lucy Yeah, sounds like El Macho's pretty dead.
[''confused'']
Gru They never found the body. Oh, no. All that was ever retrieved was a pile of singed chest hair. But that face, it has got to be El Macho!
[''pause'']
Lucy So what do you say you and I break into his restaurant... tonight?
[''gasps'']
Gru Yes, that's good. Because I'm telling you if anyone in this place holds the PX-41 serum, it's him.
[''points to Eduardo'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Bedtime Distractions and Unexpected Questions
Gru Hey, I told you guys to get to bed.
[''whispers'']
Margo Oh, sorry.
Edith So when ya goin on your date?
[''making a drawing'']
Gru What?
Edith Remember? Miss Jillian said she was arranging a date for you.
Gru Yeah, well, she is a nut job and I'm not going on any date.
Edith Why not? Are you scared?
[''hangs from her bed ladder'']
Lisa Hey, did you guys see the moon landing on TV?
[''to her friends'']
Girls Yeah, I can’t believe it. It’s so cool...
Lisa Yeah, and you know what...
Young Gru Excuse me, Lisa?
[''approaches them'']
Lisa I was talking to Billy the other day.
[''not paying attention'']
Girls No way.
Lisa And I think he likes me.
Young Gru Hey Lisa, I was wondering if you...
[''clears his throat; nervous''; ''taps his finger on her shoulder'']
Little Girl Ewww! Gru touched Lisa! Gru touched Lisa!
[''points at Gru’s finger on Lisa’s shoulder'']
Little Kids Eeeewww!
[''horrified'']
Little Girl Lisa’s got Gruties!
[''to the whole playground'']
Gru Scared? Of what? Women?! No! That's bonkers! I just... I've no interest in going on a date! That's all! Case closed! I am not scared of women... or dates... Let's go to bed. Good night, Edith. Good night, Margo. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold the horses. Who are you texting?
[''comes out of his flashback''; ''chuckles''; ''gives a goodnight kiss to Edith''; ''gives a goodnight kiss to Margo, but returns'']
Margo No one. Just my friend Avery.
Gru Avery. Eh? Avery? Is that a girl’s name or a boy’s name?
[''confused'']
Margo Does it matter?
[''confused'']
Gru No. No, it doesn’t matter unless it’s a boy!
Agnes I know what makes you a boy.
Gru Uh...oooh...you...do?
[''concerned'']
Agnes Your bald head.
Gru Oh, yes...
[''relieved'']
Agnes It's really smooth. Sometimes I stare at it, and imagine a little ] popping out. Peep-peep-peep.
[''creates an imaginary line with her hands around the head of a temporarily confused Gru''; [bird|chick; ''imitates a little chick'']
Gru Good night, Agnes. Never get older.
[''gives her a kiss on the forehead''; ''leaves the girls' bedroom and turns off the lights'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Gru's Magical Birthday Surprise
Gru It is I, Gru... Zinkerbell, the most magical fairy princess of all! And I am here to wish Princess Agnes a very happy birthday!
[falsetto; throws a handful of fairy dust]
Little Girl How come you're so fat?
[''raises her hand'']
Gru Because… my house is made of candy, and sometimes, I eat instead of facing my problems!
Little Girl How come you have...
[''Gru blows some fairy dust in her face; coughs'']
Gru Okay, time for cake!
[normally]
Agnes Thank you, Gruzinkerbell. You’re the best fairy princess ever.
Gru You are welcome, little girl.
[falsetto]
Agnes I know it’s really you, Gru. I’m just pretending for the other kids.
[''runs off, but quickly returns; whispering'']
Jillian Hey there, Gru, Mr. Life of the Party!
Gru Hello, Jillian.
[''attempts a smile; normally'']
Jillian So, I'm gonna go out on a limb here, but my friend Natalie is recently single, and...
[''Natalie falls down'']
Gru No, no, no. Get off the limb right now. No limb.
Jillian Oh, come... she’s a riot. She sings karaoke, she has a lot of free time, looks aren’t that important to her...
Gru No, Jill’s, that is not happening. Seriously, I’m fine.
Jillian Okay, fine. Forget Natalie. How about my cousin Linda?
[calling after him]
Gru No.
[''passes by Margo and Edith'']
Jillian Oh, oh! I know someone whose husband just died...
[''gets sprayed by Gru's garden hose'']
Gru I'm sorry. I did not see you there. Or there.
[''dryly''; ''sprays her again''; ''drops the hose and walks away holding the palette, chuckling softly'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Unexpected Encounter at the Scene
Gru Mr. Ramsbottom?
[''confused'']
Silas Oh, hello.
Gru What are you doing here?
Silas We got him.
Gru Got who?
Silas Floyd Eaglesan! Our agents located a secret room in the shop last night, and uh, discovered this! It’s empty, but we found traces of the PX-41 serum in it. He’s our man. So, somehow, in spite of your incompetence, we solved this one.
[''snaps his fingers, signaling a female AVL agent holding a Ziploc bag containing a canister. He then shows it to Gru'']
Floyd I was framed! You won’t get away with this! Get your mitts off of me! I am a legitimate businessman!
[''handcuffed and carried away'']
Gru Ah. Alright. So... what now?
[''stunned'']
Silas Well, you’re now free to go back to your "business". Mmm. Jams and jellies. And it looks like Agent Wilde will be transferring to our Australian branch.
Gru Australia...?
[''shocked'']
Silas Yes. But thank you...for everything. And by everything of course I mean... nothing. Toodle pip and cheerio, Mr. Gru.
[''pause''; ''walks away to the AVL agents. Gru stares sadly from a distance, until Lucy gives him a few pats on his shoulder'']
Lucy Hey there.
Gru Hey.
Lucy So we got him?
Gru Yay. That's great. And now you’re going to Australia?
[''Pausez'']
Lucy Well, it's not definite yet. Still figuring it out. Already been working on my accent. Wallaby. Didgeree-doo. Hugh Jackman. So...um. Pretty excited...
[''imitating an Australian accent''; ''chuckles'']
Gru Great. Well... good luck.
[''smiling''; ''shyly'']
Lucy Thanks. You too. Oh, here, I want to give you this.
[''pulls her lipstick taser out of her purse'']
Gru Your lipstick taser?
Lucy Yeah, it’s just a memento. Just, you know, from the first time we met.
Gru Oh, thank you, Lucy.
[''accepts her lipstick taser'']
Silas Agent Wilde?
[''off-screen'']
Gru Well... it looks like that they need you, so...
Lucy Yeah, I uh, I better go. Bye, Gru.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Unexpected Encounter in the Garden
Gru Kyle? Kyle? Kyle, no! Do not do your business on the petunias! There you go, those are Fred's. Go crazy. Good boy.
[''picks Kyle and drops him in the yard next door''; ''Kyle does his business, killing the plant and die; chuckles sinisterly'']
Lucy Mr. Gru?
[''off-screen'']
Gru Wha, I didn't, wha... Yes?
[''stuttering'']
Lucy Hi. Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL. Oops. Sorry. You're gonna have to come with me.
[''appears on-screen''; ''shows her AVL ID-card, but notices she shows it upside-down''; ''giggles nervously, then becomes serious'']
Gru Oh, sorry. I- Freeze ray!
[''suddenly takes his freeze ray out of his polo, then aims and fires at Lucy'']
Lucy You know, you really should announce your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru. For example, Lipstick tazer! Oh, it works so good.
[''takes a tube of lipstick out of her purse''; ''presses a button on the tube, two barbs shoot into Gru, who drops his freeze ray when he is filled with electricity; in a happy singsong voice''; ''Gru convulses, dances disco, and finally passes out due to the shock'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
New Introductions at the Park
Antonio Cool glasses.
Margo Uh...
[''chuckles nervously'']
Antonio I’m Antonio.
Margo I’m... Margo.
Antonio I was just going to get a cookie. Care to join me?
Margo Uh,... sure. I’m... Margo. Um... I’ll catch up with you guys later. Bye!
[''nervous''; ''once seeing her going out with Antonio, Edith, still wearing her diving mask and snorkel, loudly clears her throat in suspicion; nervous''; ''leaves her sisters'']
Edith Can I be the first to say... Ewwww!
[''in disgust'']
Agnes We gotta go tell Gru!
[''eagerly shaking Edith'']
Gru Alright, I’m going in.
[''contacting Lucy'']
Lucy If it picks up any traces of the serum, the center of your belt buckle will make a sound like this, Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo!
[''informs him at Bake My Day by monitor as he activates a chem-tracking device shaped like a belt; through headphones''; ''aloud'']
Gru Okay, I get it! I get it!
[''cuts off Lucy again; annoyed''; ''fumbles with the automatic door, then enters Eagle Hair Club'']
Floyd Welcome to Eagle Hair Club. It’s about time you showed up... Mr. Gru.
[''chuckles''; ''turns his eagle-like chair, revealing himself holding and stroking a toupee''; ''the bald eagle perched next to him squawks'']
Gru You... know my name?
Floyd When someone moves into the mall who is follically challenged, I make it my business to know all about them. You are bald. And that is bad. There you go, my sweet.
[''chuckles''; ''strokes the toupee he’s holding, kisses it, then puts it on a mannequin head'']
Lucy I’m getting nothing so far. I think you need to look around.
[''monitoring Gru’s chem-tracking device'']
Gru Wow, this looks interesting. What is it?
[''starts thrusting his hips once noticing a painting'']
Floyd I take it you’re an art lover?
[''suspiciously'']
Lucy No serum.
[''in headphones'']
Gru Yeah, not so much. Oh, how about this impressive trinket?
[''walks over to a podium holding a trophy and starts thrusting his hips at it'']
Floyd I hardly call it trinket, Mr. Gru.
[''gasps'']
Lucy Nothing.
[''in headphones'']
Floyd The International—
Gru Yeah, I don’t care.
[''moves over to a shelf filled with wig samples and starts straddling it'']
Lucy Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo-Mee-Mo!!! Hold on, I’m picking up something. Behind that wall!
[''in headphones, startling Gru'']
Gru Ahh... and what do we have here?
Floyd These are my trial wigs. You should take one.
[''grabs a sample''; ''hands Gru a bag with a wig in it'']
Gru No, thanks. So what’s on the other side of the wall?
[''sticks his head into the shelf'']
Floyd There you are! Look at me! Focus!
Lucy Gru?
[''in headphones'']
Floyd I promise, that this wig will transform you from ugly to irresistible.
Agnes MARGO HAS A BOYFRIEND!
Edith AND THEY’RE GOING ON A DATE!
Gru Date!? Boyfriend!? What?!
[''suddenly hysterical, to Edith''; ''to Agnes''; ''to Floyd''; ''Floyd shrugs shoulders and shakes his head nervously; Gru stares at Agnes and Edith'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Questioning the Morality of Wishes
Agnes Is that stealing?
[''seeing Edith grabbing coins from the wishing fountain in the mall'']
Edith Not if my wish was to get a lot of free coins!
[''comes out of the water, wearing a diving mask and snorkel'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Agnes's Reaction to an Unexpected Surprise
Agnes WHAT IS THAT!?!?
[upon seeing a picture of Gru in his trunks, with her eyes covered]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Expressions of Love by Agnes
Agnes You love her! You love her! You really, really love her!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Magical Anticipation in Despicable Me 2
Margo Whoa! Whoa! Okay, okay, all right. That's enough of the magic show!
Minions Awwww.
Margo Wait, did you hear that? It sounded like the twinkling sounds of magical fairy dust.
Agnes It's the fairy princess! She’s coming!
[''gasps'']
Margo Look!
[''gasps'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Stealth Ninjas Prepare for Confrontation
Gru We’re stealth ninjas. We make no sound.
[''lifting a floor tile; smiling maliciously'']
Lucy Right. Gotcha. Ya!
[''kicks the door open, much to Gru’s astonishment'']
Gru Alright, El Macho. You're going down.
[''maliciously'']
Lucy Wait! Wait.
[''stops him'']
Gru What? What are you doing?
[''Lucy takes a spray can out of her purse and starts spraying the air; confused'']
Lucy I'm checking for laser beam alarm triggers.
Gru It's a restaurant!
[''looks at her sternly'']
Lucy You never know what booby traps this guy could've set, huh? Come on!
Gru There are no booby traps.
[''accidentally steps on a wire unseen, triggering and ringing a bell'']
Lucy Ha! Booby!
[''pointing to the bell''; ''The door leading to the kitchen suddenly opens, causing Lucy to become startled, quickly hiding behind Gru.'']
Gru I don’t like where this is going.
[''The shadow reveals none other than a chicken'']
Lucy Huh, there's a chicken. Are you lost, little guy? You must be lost!
[''gasps'']
Gru Ha! Some guard dog. Aah! Get it off of me! Get it off of me! Get it off of me!
[''points to the chicken, referring to it; smug''; ''the chicken suddenly leaps on him, continuously pecking his bald head'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
A Casual Encounter at the Restaurant
Lucy Hi. Take-out for Lucy?
[''enters the Italian restaurant'']
Hostess Sure. Just a sec.
[''leaves off; After the hostess left, Lucy narrows her eyes, then hides behind a aquarium. She sees Gru and Shannon, who’s doing sit-ups, before she presses a button on her watch that turns into a eavesdropping device that she puts in her ears'']
Shannon Your accent is so exotic.
[''heard through Lucy’s high tech eavesdropping device'']
Gru Ah. Well, thank you very much. I was...
Shannon I know someone who can fix that for you and you’ll be talking normal in no time.
Gru Whew. Is it hot in here? How’s the food?
[''laughs awkwardly; sweating'']
Shannon Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you wearing a wig?!
Gru What? I don't think so!
[''noticing his wig is in a wrong direction, quickly rotates it back; nervously'']
Shannon I knew it. You're a phony. I hate phonies!
Gru Oh... what? No, these locks are all mine.
Shannon No, they're not! You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna rip that thing off your head and show everyone what a bald-headed PHONY you are!
[''heard through eavesdropping device'']
Lucy I don't think so, Miss Lady.
[''calmly activates her watch, revealing a target sight along with a couple of darts. Meanwhile, Gru watches in horror as Shannon approaches him. Suddenly, Lucy shoots a tranquilizer dart at Shannon’s buttocks, rendering her unconscious before she can remove the wig off Gru’s head and landing with her face in the spaghetti'']
Gru Hello? Hello... Are you...
[''confused'']
Lucy Hey, Gru!
[''off-screen'']
Gru Hello, Lucy! How you doin'?
[''remove his wig'']
Lucy Wow, looks like your date's out for the count. It's like she's been shot with a mild moose tranquilizer. Yeah, I'm winking cuz that's what actually happened.
[''Shannon moans unconsciously like a moose, then passes out again; Lucy winks at Gru, who suddenly smiles and stares at her awkwardly; whispering'']
Waiter Scusi, whassa happenin here? She no like?
[''hurries to the table, politely'']
Lucy Uh, she's just uh... Glurp glurp...
[''makes a sign to the waiter that Shannon drank too much'']
Waiter Oh, si, si!
[''laughs nervously and moves away'']
Lucy Shall we take her home?
[''to Gru; referring to Shannon'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Agnes Expresses Her Excitement for Unicorn
Agnes My unicorn! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
['''Margo''': Agnes, no!; Evil Kevin tries to eat her unicorn, but she gets shocked in horror.; it only not forces Kevin to spit out her unicorn, and start screaming, but also Margo to cover her ears to silence the scream, with everything breaking, three pictures, one clock, a statue, and even Kevin's goggles]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
A Date to Remember
Lucy Well, I think you did it. You just officially had the worst date ever.
Gru Huh, tell me about it.
Lucy Don’t worry, it can only get better from here, right? But if it doesn’t, you can always borrow my dart gun. I’ve had to use it on one or two dates myself.
Gru Yeah, you know, as far as dates go, I think I’m good with just the one.
[''chuckles nervously'']
Lucy Well, good night, partner. This was fun.
[''starts walking toward her car. Gru gets up to walk beside her'']
Gru Yes. Surprisingly, it was.
Lucy Oh, and uh, just between you and me? You look much better bald. See you tomorrow!
[''the spies exchange looks as Lucy pecks Gru on the cheek before happily leaving him''; ''Gru smiles happily as she takes off, unaware of Shannon falling off the porch behind him'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Teenage Love and Ambitious Dreams
Margo Oh, you're so funny!
[''chuckling'']
Edith Gross! Look, they're in love!
[''referring to Margo and Antonio, pointing at them'']
Gru Oh, no, no, no. Don't say that they're... no, no, no!
[''leaves for Margo and Antonio'']
Antonio And my dream... is to one day play video games for a living.
[''seriously'']
Margo Wow. You're so complicated!
[''chuckles'']
Gru Margo. What is going on here?
[''interrupts them, smiling nervously''; ''Margo gasps in astonishment'']
Margo Oh, Gru, se llama Antonio. Me llamo, Margo.
Gru Me llamo llama ding-dong! Who cares? Let's go.
[''serious'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Unexpected Thrills in Unconventional Methods
Silas Good afternoon, Mr. Gru.
Gru Yeah...
[''weakly'']
Silas I apologize for our methods of getting you there.
Lucy I don't! I'd do it again in a heartbeat! And I am not gonna lie, I enjoyed that. Every second of it. Gave me a bit of a buzz, actually...
Silas That's enough, Agent Wilde.
[''interrupts Lucy'']
Lucy Sorry, sir.
Gru Okay, this is bogus! I don't know who you people think you are, but...
Silas We are the Anti-Villain League. An ultra-secret organization dedicated to fighting crime on a global scale. Rob a bank, we're not interested. Kill someone, not our deal. But you want to melt the polar ice caps or vaporize Mount Fuji or even steal the moon. Then we notice.
Gru First of all, you got no proof that I did that. Second, after I did do that, I put it back!
Silas We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru. That's why we brought you here. I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom.
Stuart Bottom.
[''smirks''; ''starts laughing along with Phil'']
Silas Hilarious. Agent Wilde...
[''unamused'']
Lucy Oh, me now? Um, recently an entire top secret lab disappeared from the Arctic Circle. Yeah, the entire lab. Just whoosh. Voom. Gone. Where did it go?
Gru I don't care.
Lucy Hmm, the lab was devoted to experiments involving PX-41. A transmutation serum. What is PX-41, you ask? Mmm, It's pretty bad... Look.
Gru Huh, you usually don't see that in bunnies.
Silas As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum, could be the most devastating weapon on Earth. Fortunately, it has a very distinct chemical footprint. And, using our latest chem tracking technology, we have found traces of it in Paradise Mall.
Gru A mall?
[''scoffs'']
Silas Precisely. And we believe one of these shop owners is a master criminal. And that's where you come in. As an ex-villain, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts.
Lucy The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall where hopefully...
Gru Okay! I see where this is going, with all the ] stuff, but no. No! I'm a father now. And a legitimate business man. I am developing a line of delicious jams and jellies.
[[w:Mission Impossible|Mission Impossible]
Silas Jams and jellies"?
[''laughs mockingly'']
Gru Oh, attitude! That's right! So thanks, but no thanks. And here's a tip - instead of tazing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should just give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt!
[''pauses'']
Silas Ramsbottom.
[''calmly'']
Gru Yeah, like that's any better.
[''chuckles; sarcastically'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Acknowledging Feelings in Unexpected Moments
Agnes I brought you an umbrella.
[''comes outside, holding an umbrella'']
Gru Ah, thank you.
[''smiles at Agnes, then takes the umbrella'']
Agnes What are you doing out here?
Gru Remember when you said that I liked Lucy? Well, (whether you were joking or not,) it turns out... you're right.
Agnes Really?
[''smiles'']
Gru Yes, but... well, she's moving away. I'm never going to see her again.
[''Agnes sags along with him and slightly kicks her feet'']
Agnes Is there anything I could do to help?
Gru Oh, I don't... I don't think so, sweetheart.
Agnes Well, is anything you could do?
[''Gru heads up like he suddenly remembers something'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Gru's Date Proposal to Lucy
Gru Hello, Lucy. This is Gru. I know, up to this point, our relationship is been strictly professional, and that you’re leaving for Australia and all, but... okay, here is the question. Would you like to... to go out on a date?
[''stammering'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Despicable Me 2
Unexpected Family Connections in a Crazy World
Eduardo So good to see you again, mi compadré!
[''starts to hug Gru'']
Antonio Oh, I see you’ve already met my father.
[''Margo lovingly stares at him'']
Gru What the... father?
[''being hugged by Eduardo'']
Eduardo Si! Look at this crazy little world we live in, eh? Come, sit! Let me get you something.
[''stops hugging him'']
Gru Oh... look at you. He likes me!
[''sees Pollito squawking and glaring at him''; ''Eduardo scoops up the chicken; laughing nervously''; ''attempts to pet Pollito, but he lunges at him'']
Eduardo Oh, oh, I’m sorry, Pollito is usually very friendly. He had a rough night.
[''cradling his pet''; ''Pollito stares at Gru relentlessly'']
Gru Well, we should be going. Girls, come on.
[''chuckles nervously''; ''attempts to leave'']
Eduardo That is a pity. Young love is beautiful, no?
[''stops him and brings Margo and Antonio closer towards each other'']
Gru No! You know, they’re not in love. They hardly know each other!
[''chuckles nervously'']
Eduardo You are right, Cabesa De Huevo! They must get to know each other better. Antonio, why don’t you invite your girlfriend and her family to our Cinco de Mayo party?
Gru No, no, I am...
Edith and Agnes Si!
[''happily'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.