Duplex (2003) - Quotes

Herman:   Nancy, did you finish the Celebrity Scene page?

Alex Rose:   I'm sorry, I don't hear anything.

Mrs. Connelly:   It was very distinctive.  The pipes went "bang bang, bangety bang bang…bang, bang.

Alex Rose:   I wonder how old she is.

Nancy Kendricks:   My guess is that she's somewhere between 95 and 105.

Alex Rose: [''gives Mrs. Connelly a bottle of wine'']   We brought you this little housewarming gift. 

Mrs. Connelly:   Oh, that's very kind of you, thank you.  I'll open it for you.  I don't drink myself, it's a sin.

Alex Rose: [''to Nancy'']     Irish Catholics don't drink?

Mrs. Connelly:   Sit down, dears, sit down!  I brought ya a little something to nibble on as well.

Alex Rose:   Oh, Bugles.  Wow, I didn't realise they even still made Bugles.

Mrs. Connelly: [''offering Alex a Bugle dipped in French onion dip'']     Come along, dear, it's French onion.

Alex Rose: [''nibbles while looking at Bugles box; sees expiration date reads "October 1997"'']     Magnificent parrot.

Mrs. Connelly: [''Alex and Nancy smile'']   It's not a parrot, dear.  He's a macaw.  He's named after my late husband, Richard.  I've had Little Dick for forty years.    Now tell me about yourselves.  What do you do, Allen?

Alex Rose: [''correcting her'']     Alex.

Nancy Kendricks:   Alex is a writer.

Mrs. Connelly:   Oh, a writer. I always thought of that as more of a hobby than a real job.  I suppose I'm forgettin about Joyce.

Alex Rose:   Joyce, James Joyce, of course.  Wonderful writer.

Mrs. Connelly:   He died drunk and penniless.

Nancy Kendricks:   Well, Alex's first novel was published in hardback, and he's just about to finish his second one.

Mrs. Connelly:   Oh, what's it about?

Alex Rose:   Well, I like to call it an urban epic.  It's about three generations of this family in New York that own a printing press, and I tell a story mainly about—

Mrs. Connelly: [''bored, cutting him off''; ''Nancy counts silently'']     Oh, that's nice.  Let me give you a refill.  Big Dick had the taste, too.  He was a seaman.  The drink took him from me in 1963.  We'd been married for 58 years. 

Nancy Kendricks: [[duplex (building)|duplex]   Besides, do you realise how much the ] is going to be worth once we get both floors?

Alex Rose:   I know how much it costs.

Nancy Kendricks:   Well it's going to be worth like a bazillion times that.

Alex Rose:   Really?  A bazillion?  That's an incredible return.

Tara:   God, you're such a good squeezer, Nancy.

Herman:   I don't want it tickety boo, I want it tickety now!

Officer Dan:   It's my experience that wives don't accidentally shoot their husbands in the penis.

Nancy Kendricks: We'll finally be happy!

Nancy Kendricks: She puts on this sweet voice.  "Nancy, could ya help meh, eh?  I think I've found the leavings of a mouse!"  Boo, hoo, hoo!  As if she didn't know it was a raisin!

Nancy Kendricks: What was she doing?

Nancy Kendricks: We forgot to christen the apartment.

Nancy Kendricks: Are those musical instruments?

Nancy Kendricks: It's a peacock!

Nancy Kendricks: Hello, Mr. Peabody!

Alex Rose: Besides, how can I have time to rewrite my novel and still do my faithful servant duty to her as her little indentured servant person.  Her little butt boy.  I mean, I got a lot of duties, honey.  She might need me to go out and count grapes with her, or help her fix her heater, or go take her to the laundry, or I got to go help her clean her banana skins, or I got to go clean out her garbage, and I got to go help her fill her monthlies out, or go and wipe her ass!  God forbid she have any shit hanging off her ass!  Because then I have to run up there double time like a little bunny, and I have to go up there with my little tissue and I have to go wipe her little ass and then I have to say, "Oh, good for you, Mrs. Connelly.  Good for you for having such a nice little poopie.  What's that?  You've got some poopie on your diapey?  Well let me clean it off—with my tongue!

Alex Rose: She just manipulated me somehow.  She's very crafty.  She's a crafty old…lady.

Alex Rose: It's horrible.  My parents read this magazine.  Now they know my penis is called Mr. Peabody!

Alex Rose: [''reading a dictionary entry'']   "Macaw: any long tailed, brightly-colored parrot."  A macaw is a parrot, I knew it!

Alex Rose: I could have sworn we had more stuff.

Alex Rose: Blow me down!

Mrs. Connelly: Use some elbow grease.

Mrs. Connelly: Nice seein ya again, Kenneth.

Mrs. Connelly: You caught me.  I can't help but sneak a fag once in a blue moon.

Mrs. Connelly: Off we go, Dicky Boy.

Mrs. Connelly: Upchuck is a delicacy for Little Dick.  He's salivatin'.

Mrs. Connelly: It's loose as a Dublin whore!

Mrs. Connelly: A bit of music and a bit of a dance!

Mrs. Connelly: It's pissin down out there!

Mrs. Connelly: [''after Alex spills the garbage on the stairway and, disgusted, holds up Mrs. Connelly's underwear with a paper towel roll'']   What in heaven's name are you doin with me drawers!?

Mrs. Connelly: Could you give me a hand with the garbage?  We don't wannna be feedin the mice.

Mrs. Connelly: [''the clock shows almost 5:30 PM'']   Oh, look at the time!  I had no idea it was so late!

Mrs. Connelly: Come along dear, don't be shy!  It's French Onion.

Mrs. Connelly: I'm coming.  Slowly but surely!