32 quotes
Gord's Sensitivity About His Knees
Gord
I have sensitive knees.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Cheese in Sandwiches
Gord
You can't have complaints there's not enough cheese in the cheese sandwiches. I mean, if there's no cheese in a cheese sandwich, that's basically just two slices of bread, and if word of that were to get out, well, I could lose my job! I could lose all of this! And we wouldn't want that, would we? Would we?! Would we, huh?!
Customer
What the fuck am I gonna do with that?
Gord
Well, you could stick it in your bum-bum. (The customer leaves, disgruntled. Gord sings quietly:) You can put the cheese in your bum.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Disturbing Wake-Up Call for a Baby
Gord
I'll wake up your baby! (swings baby by its umbilical cord) I'll wake up your baby! Wakey-wakey, wakey-wakey, wakey-wakey, wakey-wakey! Baby's crying, baby's crying!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character's Playful Claim of Identity
Gord
Look at me, Daddy, I'm a farmer!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Child's Playfulness Meets Farmyard Chaos
Farmer
Hey, don't climb that fence! You can't come over here! Hey! What the hell are you doing?! Are you crazy?!?!
[Gord runs over and starts wagging the horse's penis]
Gord
OHHH!! Oh, this is fun! Look at me daddy! I'm a farmer! Augh! Oh, this is fun! Look at me daddy! I'm a farmer! I'm a farmer, daddy! WOOO!! AHHH!!! When I grow up, I want to be a farmer! A farmer!
Second Farmhand
The hell are you doing?! Get him the hell out of here!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Adult Freedom and Food Choices
Gord
Holy shit, this is crazy! I'm a 28-year-old man, I think I should be able to eat a chicken sandwich if I want!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identifying a Unique Problem in Others
Gord
I see the problem here! There seems to be a little baby inside your body.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Sibling Rivalry and Independence
Gord
He's driving me insane.
Freddy
No, no, you're driving him insane. You're older than me and you still live at home. I have a job, you know? I pay my own way.
Gord
You work at a bank. Am I suppose to be dazzled?
Freddy
Well, at least, I don't live at home.
Gord
Yeah, you live in a tiny (bleep) and you can't afford breakfast so you come here and you eat for free.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dramatic Dismissal at the Club
Gord
You're fired, Bob! Clean out your locker at the club, Bob! You're fucking fired!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Expressions of Pride Between Father and Son
Gord
I'm gonna make you so proud.
Jim
Make your daddy proud.
Gord
You're gonna be so proud.
Jim
Proud?
Gord
Proud.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiance with a Cheese Helmet
Gord
You can't hurt me, not with my cheese helmet!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for School Supplies
Gord
Hey, can I borrow 50 bucks or something? For supplies, for, like, pens or Liquid Paper or a Trapper Keeper or one of those little compasses that you put the pencil in and you can make a circle, a perfect circle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Warning Against Rubbing Mr. Lee
Darren
Don't rub on Mr. Lee!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Backwards Man's Unique Talent
Gord
I'm the backwards man, the backwards man, I'm the backwards man, the backwards man! I can walk backwards fast as you can, I can walk backwards fast as you can!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desire for New Experiences
Gord
I want to try the horsey, I want to try the horsey!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accusation of Child Molestation by Gord
Gord
You hear that dad? You're gonna pay! He's a molester! A Child molester!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Advice on Taking Action in Relationships
Gord
If I were you, I would go out and have sex.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Underwater Imagination and Misunderstanding
Jim
I'll fix him. How's the water, cold enough for you? Don't tell me you're so god damn stupid you can't even tell the difference between hot and cold. What the fuck is going on?
[turns the water temp level down; he then breaks into the bathroom, then flushes the toilet; opens shower to find Gord with a soap on a rope in scuba gear]
Gord
I'm underwater! Look, I found a treasure!
Jim
A treasure? That's soap on a rope!
Gord
Shh, I'm pretending it's treasure!
Jim
Get out of my goddamn scuba gear, you imbecile!
[he pulls him out, destroying the shower's doors]
Gord
Oh, no, the treasure! It went into the underwater cave!
[he sees the soap fall into the toilet; submerges his face into the toilet bowl]
Jim
Get out of the toilet! Forget about... Get out of the toilet!
[He pulls Gord out of the toilet bowl]
Gord
Father, you saved me from the giant barracuda! But look, I salvaged the treasure. We can live like kings. We can live like kings!
Jim
Forget that fucking soap. You clean up this mess and get your ass out that door looking for a job, you retard.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Existence of Le Baron
Gord
I only see one Le Baron, Freddy. I only see, I don't see two Le Barons. Where's your Le Baron, Freddy? Where's your Le Baron? How many Le Barons? Are there two Le Barons? Oh, look, I'm the #1 son!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vigilante Cat: A Quirky Character Statement
Gord
He's a cat! Who's a vigilante? A cat! Who is a vigilante? A vigilante cat!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Large Sum of Money Mentioned
Gord
40 million fucking Deutsche mark.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Exclamation from Gord
Gord
Ding-dong! Ding-dong!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Miscommunication Between Geneva and Helsinki
Gord
I say Geneva, and you hear Helsinki?!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Request for Sausages
Gord
Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausages? Daddy, would you like some sausage? Sausages, sausages!
[singing]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict and Miscommunication Among Friends
Policewoman
Get off the fucking bar, asshole!
Betty
Your dad called me a retard, a slut, and a whore. I don't think he likes me very much, Gordy.
Jim
Oh, God! Get him a job! I mean, get him an ambulance! You get a job, he's got a job already!
[''after seeing Darren's leg during the skateboarding accident'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hoping for a Job with Fingers Crossed
Gord
I hope I get a jobby, Freddy. I got my fingers crossed! Crossed, crossed, crossed, crossed!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confusion Over Breakfast Meats
Darren
What in the name of sweet breakfast meats are you doing?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encouraging Interaction with Animals
Gord
Get inside the animals!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Gord's Thoughts on Business and Investments
Gord
Eh. Hmm... Investments. Eh. I do investments, consulting in the business. Eh. Business. Eh. Analyzing, stocks. Eh. NASDAQ. Eh. Dow Jones, Wall Street Journal. Eh. New York City, CNN.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Comment on a unique personality
Darren
Oh yeah, he's a real character!
[''observing Gordy's drawings of his dad'']
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Emphasizing the Restaurant's Elegance
Gord
This is a fancy restaurant, this is a fancy restaurant!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Job and a Father's Frustration
Jim
Where are you going?
Gord
Bye-bye, Daddy! Bye-bye, Daddy! I'm going to get a job!
Jim
You must think I'm a damn idiot!
Gord
Um... Yes?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.