Grown Ups 2 (2013) - Quotes

Frat Boy's Wild Reaction to Baldness

Frat Boy Milo: [after ripping off Malcolm's toupee, revealing his bald head, giving him a noogie] Oh my god! Did you see his head? He's got a...he's bald! I got a wild one! I got a wild one! Whoo hoo hoo!

Frat Boy Milo: Noogie, noogie, noogie!

Officer Fluzoo: [standing behind Milo; grabs him, and gives him a rather violent noogie] Nobody noogies my brother!

Frat Boy Milo: [Fluzoo throws Milo over the roof, who ends up landing in a bush] My brain! My brain! B.U.!

Malcolm: Hey man, I had that one.

Officer Fluzoo: I know you did, big brother.

Malcolm: Get out of here!

Officer Fluzoo: [flinches, terrified] Don't hit me!

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Frat House Tensions Escalate Among Characters

Roxanne Feder: Excuse me, why are you here? What's the matter?

Frat Boy Milo: [mocking Roxanne; frat boys laugh, speaking in normal accent; all frat boys yell "Yeah!"] I tell you what is the matter. These old townies trashed our frat house! And nobody treats our good-times headquarters with disrespect!

Braden Higgins: They didn't do it. Me do it.

Frat Boy Milo: Don't try and cover for him, Z-Dog!

Lenny Feder: Who's Z-Dog?

Frat Boy Andy: We know they're trying to get back at us for making them do the naked plunge in our swimming hole.

Deanne McKenzie: Your swimming hole? I've been swimming at the quarry since I was eight years old.

Frat Boy Andy: [all frat boys cheer, Andy and Milo do their handshake, but stop in the middle] Apparently, everybody in this crap town has been swimming there since they were eight years old. I guess nobody wants to leave this dump because they're too busy sucking! We'll finish later.

Frat Boy Milo: You promise?

Frat Boy Andy: [touching Milo's cheek] I promise.

Frat Boy Milo: Okay.

Dickey Bailey: [looks at Lenny, who nods of approval, Dickey raises his beer, and takes a drink] Hey, smart guy! Lenny Feder left this town, moved to Hollywood, made big bucks, probably more money than all you brainiacs put together ever will. But guess what? He came back here. Cause this beautiful town is his home. And it always will be his home.

Frat Boy Milo: [frat boys cheer, Milo turns around and bends over, and Andy slaps his butt three times] Well, that was just a moving testament to this community, bro! But we didn't come here to hear any lame speeches. We came here to kick some old, smelly ass!

Lenny Feder: Fellas, we may be old.

Marcus Higgins: We may be smelly.

Deanne McKenzie: [she, Roxanne, and a drunk woman point at Beefcake Kitty] We may have a penis.

Eric Lamonsoff: But the only ones getting their ass kicked around here is gonna be you spoiled, privileged, uppity, preppy D-bags.

Kurt McKenzie: [everyone starts fighting] You hear that? Now let's get BUSY!!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Humorous Exchange About Physical Attributes

Keith Feder: Tell her it wasn't you talking, Dad. It was your flabby ass.

Lenny Feder: [Keith looks at him shocked] You want me to "accidentally" break the other leg?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Questions at Squat-robics 101 Session

Aerobics Instructor: Welcome to Squat-robics 101. Any questions?

Jackie Tardio: Are you married?

Roxanne: Do you like my hair?

Deanne McKenzie: Can I stick my tongue down your throat please?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Math Misunderstanding in Grown Ups 2

Eric Lamonsoff: What's 7 + 9?

Bean Lamonsoff: 79!

Eric Lamonsoff: [sarcastically] Well, we're not going to have to pay for college, that's for sure!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Humorous Take on a Family Meal

Lenny Feder: Mommy was nice enough to prepare her famous Chicken a la Food Poisoning, which we're all excited to eat.

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A Humorous Exchange Between Friends

Malcolm: Well, well, well, if it isn't Hollywood and the squares.

Lenny Feder: Hey, Malcolm, I didn't know you worked at K-Mart, and apparently, the hair on the top of your head didn't know it either.

Malcolm: Whaat?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Discovery of a Raft in the Water

Nick: [he pokes the box and it self-inflates, knocking him down, along with a whole row of products] There's a raft in there? Who did that?

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A Father's Concern About Growing Up

Becky Feder: Will I have boobies like Mommy's?

Lenny Feder: I don't ever want you to have those.

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A Request for Fresh Air

Lenny Feder: [turns to Roxanne, sleeping, and whispers] Honey, go over to the window and open it as wide as you can.

Roxanne: [whimpers and rolls over] Please let me sleep.

Lenny Feder: I think your mother's here from Mexico and she needs to leave. Open the window, now.

Roxanne: Why don't you do it you-Ahhhhhhhh!

Roxanne: Close your mouth!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Comment on Car Cleanliness

Male Cheerleader (Andy Samberg): Your car is filthy!

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Stolen School Bus Incident with Officer Fluzoo

Officer Fluzoo: What's up with the school bus?

Lenny Feder: (nervous) Okay...I stole it.

Officer Fluzoo: [The five friends put their hands in the air, but Fluzoo begins dancing and sings] Put your hands in the air. And wave em like you just don't care. Say HO!

All: OH!

Officer Fluzoo: Say HO!

All: OH!