29 quotes
A Perspective on Life's Challenges
Additional Voices
Bob Bouchard
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Payback and Cattle Heist in the Wild West
Maggie
It's payback time. Cover me!
Grace
With what?
The Willie Brothers
Howdy, Slim.
Alameda Slim
Quiet, you fools. We've got work to do. Here we go, boys! 5,000 cattle in the side pocket! ]", "]" and "]" and continues to sings]
[sings "Yodel-Adle-Eedle-Idle-Odel" alongside the Willie Brothers; yodels "[[w:William Tell Overture|William Tell Overture; [w:Yankee Doodle|Yankee Doodle; [w:Symphony No. 9 (Beethoven)|Beethoven's Ode to Joy]
Grace
Maggie, Mrs. Calloway, snap out of it!
[Alameda Slim cackles as the girls scream]
Rico
Oh!
[grunts and girls screams]
Man
Rico, if you'd just been a second earlier...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life in a bustling saloon setting
Additional Voices
] - Saloon Girls
[[w:Debi Derryberry|Debi Derryberry]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Cowboy's Perspective on Life
Additional Voices
] - Morse, Cowboy
[[w:Bruce A. Young|Bruce A. Young]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Challenges with Determination
Additional Voices
Pam Hamill
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Home on the Range - Dialogue 9
Alamenda Slim
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH!!
[grunts, Mrs Calloway pulls the train whistle]
Sam
It's Alameda Slim!
[worried]
Alameda Slim
You think you've won?! It ain't over till the fat man sings!
[latest words before his muffled by the cow bell; yodels "Magic Carpet Ride" as Maggie attempts to silence him with her bell, but gets hypnotized as Grace jumps up into the air and kicks the cow bell into his mouth, silencing him and Maggie and Mrs. Calloway are free from his hypnotic yodeling]
Sam
Alameda Slim, you're under arrest.
[lashes the ropes to Alameda Slim who was muffled by the cow bell]
Grace
Nobody messes with Pearl's, girls.
Buck
Say, girls, got milk?
Girls
Buck.
Buck
Just kidding.
[Alameda Slim has been put into a paggy wagon with his mouth gagged and body wraps in a ropes]
Sam
Take him away, boys. I hope you like stripes. Pearl, your cows can't do much with Alameda Slim's reward money. Think you can find some use for it?
[to his deputies; to Pearl showing Alameda Slim's bounty reward money]
Pearl Gesner
Woowie! My farm is saved!
[hugs Mrs. Calloway and Grace and the other auctioneers cheer them]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A humorous take on everyday challenges
Additional Voices
Wilbur Pauley
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Loss and Resilience in the West
Male Singers
Out in the land where the men are tough as cactus
Maggie
Home on the range. Once upon a time, I had a home on the range, But not anymore. Well, it's no use crying over spilled milk. Speaking of which, that's me. I'm the cow. Yeah, they're real, quit staring. I'm sort of between homes right now. I lost my old place... thanks to the meanest bunch of cattle rustlers in the west... Alameda Slim and the Willie Brothers Gang. Somehow, they stole the whole herd... right out from under our noses and then they disappeared without a trace. After that... poor old Abner couldn't afford to keep the place... or me, either, for that matter Well, no matter how bad things get, there's probably somebody worse off. That guy, for instance.
[narrates; Fly buzzing and approaches to Maggie; scene cuts to night, where Alameda Slim and his gang; as Alameda Slim yodels and the cows start mooing and they got captured from Maggie's ranch; Abner sees the cows are missing and taken away by Alameda Slim and the Willie Brothers then he sees Maggie from the trance, then he takes Maggie out from his barn to another place; Maggie sees Lucky Jack that the snake was eaten his head, and runs to the cactus]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A character reflects on their situation.
Additional Voices
Randy Erwin
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Challenges with Determination
Additional Voices
Kevin Ligon
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing Challenges with Determination
Additional Voices
Linda Griffin
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Photographer's Perspective on Life
Additional Voices
] - Photographer
[[w:Leslie Jordan|Leslie Jordan]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disagreement Among Friends on a Journey
Mrs. Calloway
We are not following this wagon, and that is final.
Maggie
C'mon, Calloway. It'll be fun.
[elbows her]
Mrs. Calloway
Did you just hit me?!
Maggie
Kinda?
[elbows her again]
Mrs. Calloway
Well, stop it.
Maggie
WHY?
[elbows her once again]
Mrs. Calloway
Because I don't like it.
[Maggie teases her, then pushes her, causing her hat to fall into a small mud puddle]
Grace
Oh, no! Not the hat!
[pause; Mrs. Calloway gets angry at Maggie]
Maggie
What? What about the...
[Mrs. Calloway shoves her to another mud puddle. She puts her at back on and wipes the mud off, but Maggie shoves her back]
Grace
All right, all right, violence is not going to solve anything. Why don't we all take a deep cleansing breath...
[Mrs. Calloway and Maggie begin to mud wrestle as Grace slinks away]
Rusty
Hey, now! Mud wrestling!
[gets mud splashed on him]
Buck
Hey, hey, watch the saddle.
[laughs as mud gets on Rico's saddle; wipes the mud off the saddle with his tail]
Sam
What in tarnation?
[grabs his rope]
Mrs. Calloway
Maggie, for the last time, I will not be roped into this scheme!
[gets lassoed along with Maggie and Grace]
Sam
Come on, you crazy heifers! Come on! Dagnabit! Hey, partner, curb your livestock. This town is clean!
[ties the cows to the back of the chuckwagon belonging to a Chinese rider]
Chinese Rider
Wow! Free cows! What a country! Giddy-up!
[speaking Chinese]
Maggie
Not exactly what I had in mind, but this'll work.
Mrs. Calloway
Well, it doesn't work for me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Facing challenges with determination and resilience
Additional Voices
Linda Kerns
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A humorous take on rural life
Additional Voices
] - Chinese Rider
[[w:Roger Yuan|Roger Yuan]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Life Lessons from Home on the Range
Additional Voices
Tami Tappan Damiano
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Escape from Trouble at Uncle Slim's
Both
Uncle Silm, Uncle Slim!
["Hillbilly Holla" playing by North Mississippi and Allstars; to Uncle Slim]
Grace
Let's get out of here!
Junior
Come back here, you dog meat!
[Buck screams]
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Prioritizing Tasks Wisely in Life
Buck
Let's not put the cows before the horse.
[from trailer]
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Celebrating the Joy of Fireworks
Additional Voices
Evan Sabara - Fireworks Boy #2
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Identification and Assurance in Uncertainty
Grace
What's going to happen to the cow who lived there?
Maggie
She'll be okay.
Grace
How do you know?
Maggie
You're looking at her.
Grace
This was your farm?
Maggie
Mm-hmm. We had like a family too, you know.
Grace
What happened?
Maggie
Alameda Slim happened...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vulture's Perspective in Home on the Range
Additional Voices
] - Vulture
[[w:Joe Whyte|Joe Whyte]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Train Journey Reflections in Home on the Range
Additional Voices
] - Man on Train
[[w:Philip Proctor|Phil Proctor]
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Debate on Catching Slim and Returning Home
Maggie
No. Come on, girls. We can't give up.
Mrs. Calloway
Maggie, that's enough. The minute this lets up, we're heading straight home to Patch of Heaven.
Maggie
But what about catching Slim and collecting the reward?
Mrs. Calloway
We never had a prayer of catching Slim in the first place. This whole ridiculous plan is just so that you can get revenge on those cattle rustlers!
Maggie
Hey! For your information, duchess, this whole ridiculous plan is about us saving our farm!
Maggie
What's that supposed to mean?!
Mrs. Calloway
Strutting around with your vulgar show-cow behavior.
Maggie
Look, I was just having...
Mrs. Calloway
Wasting our time on your foolish plans. Through the years, Patch of Heaven has survived every hardship that nature can dish out, but you, Maggie, are the biggest catastrophe to ever hit our farm.
Maggie
Well. If that's the way you feel about it, maybe we should just go our separate ways.
[furious]
Mrs. Calloway
Now, that's the first good idea you've ever had.
Maggie
Fine.
Mrs. Calloway
Fine!
Maggie
FINE!
Mrs. Calloway
Fine.
[Sits down as Grace looks sadly at the 2 of them and Maggie hangs her head]
Maggie
Yeah. Fine. It's not like your farm was ever going to feel like home to me anyways.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing change with a positive outlook
Additional Voices
Tim Blevins
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion of Cattle Theft and Earnings
Alameda Slim
5,000 ]s. Not bad for one night's work.
[laughing; [w:Texas Longhorn|Texas Longhorn]
Phil
Pick a color.
[He and Bill are playing with a cootie catcher]
Alameda Slim
I said, not bad for one night's work. Thank you. And judging by the ear mark, I'd say these are the last of Big Mike Donald's herd.
[Phil and Bill pay attention to Alameda Slim and clap]
Gil
Big Mike Donald had a farm?
Phil and Bill
E-I-E-I... Ohh...
[Alameda Slim bashes them on the heads with his fists]
Alameda Slim
That's right. He had a farm. Now that all his cash cows have disappeared, that poor sap's gonna be flat broke. Perfect time for a certain upstanding land owner to step in and take all the land.
[He goes to his dressing screen stock and puts on his Yancy O'Del disguise]
Phil
Ahhh! Who are you?!
[screams]
Bill
What did you do with Uncle Slim?!
Phil
Put up your dukes, Mr. Fancy Britches! Aah-aah-aah-aah-aah-aah!
[Alameda Slim grabs his fingers]
Alameda Slim
It's me! Hello! This here is the disguise I use to sneak into all them auctions and buy all the land, you brainless monotone monkeys.
[Alameda Slim takes off the glasses and the blue top hat and holding a cane]
Gil
Shoot, you got to be the richest land baron in the ].
[[W:American west|the west; Phil and Bill clap]
Alameda Slim
Yes, but the part that really warms my heart is watching those homesteaders suffer. Back in the day, I worked the highfalutinest ranches you ever seen, but those stuck-up ranch bosses couldn't appreciate my talents.
[He grabs a branding iron and brands Mike Donald's Farm and the Dixon Farm on the map]
Phil
Maybe they just didn't like your singing.
Alameda Slim
My singing?! Songbirds sing. saloon gals sing. little bitty snot-nosed children sing. I yodel, and yodeling IS AN ART!
[Bill covers his brother's mouth]
Bill
Well, maybe they just didn't like your yodeling.
Gil
He didn't mean it, Uncle Slim. Everybody likes yodeling.
Alameda Slim
Hmm?
Gil
Why, it's one of the funniest, cornball, goofy, silly sounds in the whole west.
Alameda Slim
Uh, Gil?
Gil
Uh-huh?
Alameda Slim
Am I correct in assuming that each and every time we brought a herd back to this secret lair you've managed to sit in the exact same spot, BLOCKING THAT CHOICE-PIECE OF PROPERTY FROM MY VIEW?!
Gil
This is my comfy place. What?
[beat; Alameda Slim grabs him by the neck; Gil makes unintelligible noises]
Phil
It's called Patch of Heaven, Uncle Slim. Goes on auction Thursday morning.
Alameda Slim
Perfect. Pencil it in. Thursday mornin'. Right after we sell off this herd.
[his fury quickly replaced by eagerness; He hits Gil on the head with his branding iron and letting us him go]
Bill
But it's just a little old dirt farm.
Alameda Slim
Ah, what's the difference? When you're talking my revenge, every last acre... counts.
[He brands Patch of Heaven on the map with his branding iron]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Concern and reassurance among friends
Mrs. Calloway
What was that?
Grace
That must be Slim and the Willies.
Barry, Bob and the Herd of Bulls
Slim and the Willies!
[freaking out]
Barry
Don't worry, darling. I'll protect you.
[to Mrs. Calloway, mistaking her for Grace]
Mrs. Calloway
You have exactly two seconds to remove your hoof... before I snap it off at the knee.
Barry
Sorry, madam. I thought you were the blonde...
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A Character's Perspective on Home on the Range
Additional Voices
Mickie McGowan
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Cows Are the Only Focus
Junior
Cows only.
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Childhood Wonder and Anticipation
Additional Voices
Jordan Orr - Fireworks Boy #1
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