Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco (1996) - Quotes

Voice cast: [[w:Michael Bell (actor)|Michael Bell] ] - Stokey

Voice cast: [[w:Michael J. Fox|Michael J. Fox] ] - Chance

Voice cast: [[w:Ralph Waite|Ralph Waite] ] - Shadow

Chance: Hey guys, do you miss me?

Sassy: [to Chance] Of course I did. Chance, you saved our lives.

Chance: Piece of cake.

Sassy: [shouting] I'm sure one day I'll regret saying this, but...thank you, AND WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!?!?!?!

Ralph: [sees Riley's Gang, Shadow and Sassy] What's going on? You'd almost think they're trying to...trying to stop us here.

Jack: [looking through binoculars] Heh. I'd like to see em try.

Ralph: Jack, that's about another $100 worth of dog out there-

Jack: Don't you understand what's happening here, Ralph? They're turning against us!

Ralph: What?

Jack: We gotta show em who's boss. We gotta run em down like the dogs they are!

Ralph: Jack, I ca...I can't do that.

Jack: [takes the cigarette and blows] Show em, Ralph! Show em who's boss!

Bando: [upon discovering Delilah with Chance] But Delilah, I thought...What about me?

Chance: Who are you?

Bando: I'm her...I mean, I was gonna be her-

Sledge: [[w:Hound Dog (song)|You ain't nothin' but a hound dog!] Ah, Bando, face it. ]

Delilah: Bando, I told you. You and I are just friends.

Bando: Huh?! But Delilah-

Chance: What? Catch a clue, Opie.

Bando: [growling] Why, you little...!

Chance: [barking] Maybe someone should take you for a walk, pal!

Riley: Bando, knock it off!

Bando: [putting his head to the ground; under his breath] Sorry, Riley. I wasn't trying to start something. I'm done. I'm calm. Stupid lost dog comes along, tryin to steal my woman. Homewrecker!

Riley: Well, this is it. Home sweet home. Hey, it's nothing fancy, but the price is right, and nobody bothers us. So you guys can stay as long as you like.

Shadow: Thanks, Riley. You're very kind.

Sassy: Right, if he's so kind, why doesn't he help us find that bridge?

Shadow: We can't leave until we find Chance.

Sassy: Why not?

Shadow: You know you miss him.

Sassy: Okay, I miss his stupid jokes, and his stupid face, and his stupid...stupid-ness!

Shadow: Oh, Sassy, stop it.

Sassy: And I'm "stupidly" starting to worry about him!

Ashcan: [chewing a stuffed rabbit] Mmm! Who said I'm too old for stuffed animals?

Pete: Hey boss, I got somethin'.

Ashcan: Yeah? Too bad there's no cure.

Pete: [lifts a huge bone] Look at this. It must be the biggest bone I ever seen in my life.

Ashcan: Hey, let me see that!

Pete: It must be from a horse. Or a rhinoceros. Or a prehistoric mastodon.

Ashcan: [climbs off the couch and takes the bone] Good job, Pete. You found my bone.

Pete: Your bone, boss?

Ashcan: Sure, I hid it here yesterday.

Pete: Man, just my luck...

Delilah: Hi.

Chance: Don't you "hi" me! First, you chase me, then you try to kill me, then you...kiss me? What's the game?

Delilah: Game? I don't have a game. Look, I was only chasing you because your friends back in the alley asked me to, okay?

Chance: My friends, huh? So tell me, what are my friends names?

Delilah: Shadow and Sassy.

Chance: Huh! Lucky guess. Okay, show me the secret paw shake.

Delilah: Secret paw shake? They didn't show me any secret paw shake.

Chance: Aha! They didn't, huh? Good, because there ain't one. Now explain that kiss.

Delilah: Kiss? That was no kiss. Friendly lick, maybe.

Chance: Friendly? Boy, is that an understatement.

Delilah: Okay, let's try this again. I'm Delilah, Chance.

Chance: Delilah Chance? Wow, your last name is the same as my first name!

Delilah: Boy, good thing you're cute.

Shadow: [to Riley] That was some nice fighting, stranger.

Ashcan: This ain't over yet, goldie! Watch your back!

Pete: Yeah, your back!

Riley: I hope you're not making threats, Trashcan.

Spike: Unless you wanna wake up at the vet!

Sledge: With a thermometer under your tail!

Riley: [barking] Now beat it!

Sassy: Canines, the feline's still hungry!

Shadow: We're all still hungry, Sassy.

Chance: Better get used to it, babe. This is the city. Only the strong survive.

Sassy: Well, then you're a goner.

Sassy: Why are you dragging that? I didn't hear anybody shout "fetch".

Shadow: Say hello to your home away from home, Sass.

Sassy: That?! It's filthy! My litter box is cleaner! And I don't have anything to sleep in.

Shadow: What, no cat's pajamas?

Sassy: Oh, you're a riot, Shadow.

Sassy: Shadow, that thing left without us, and Hope was on it.

Shadow: So was Peter.

Sassy: So now what are we gonna do?

Shadow: Let me think... they probably don't even know we're gone.

Sassy: [looking at Chance] And guess whose fault it is.

Chance: Oh, so this is my fault? I just saved us from the Bad Place.

Sassy: No, you just got us lost AGAIN!

Shadow: Like it or not, you two, we're gonna have to find our way back home.

Chance: [[Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey|what happened before?] Home? You remember ] Huge mountains, stinky skunks, "porky-pines" - not me, Pops!

Shadow: Watch your nose, Chance.

Chance: So guys, where do you think they're taking us?

Chance: Well, I know this much: can't be any place bad, or they would've given us those dumb tranquilizers.

Bob: Hey, Peter? Did you give them the tranquilizers?

Chance, Shadow and Sassy: Uh-oh.

Chance: We're doomed!

Shadow: Calm down, nobody's doomed.

Chance: Oh yeah? Well, let me ask you something, old timer - why did they shove those little green kibbles down our throats? If you're smart like me, you'll get rid of it.

Sassy: Get rid of it? How?

Chance: [gags; vomits up what's left of a ball and belches] Easy. You just work up on a nice-sized hairball, and then you think of something...disgusting...like a big ...fluffy...cat!

Sassy: [disgusted] How pleasant.

Chance: Hey, I've been looking for that ball.

Chance: [singing] 99 cans of dog food on the wall, 99 cans of dog food - everybody!

Chance, Shadow and Sassy: [singing] If one of those cans should happen to fall, 98 cans of dog/cat food on the wall.

Chance: Cats only!

Sassy: I hate this song!

Chance: Huh? What's this? Who are you guys?

Sparky Michaels: I'm Sparky Michaels.

Lucky Lasorda: I'm Lucky Lasorda.

Trixie Uecker: And I'm Trixie Uecker, and we're broadcasting here!

Lucky Lasorda: Yeah, so move your tail, buddy.

Chance: You're broadcasting the game? Huh! Sassy tells me to get a life?

Sparky Michaels: [watching Jamie play] All right, here's the pitch. A hard chopper to Seaver. He picks it up and fires to first! Boy, that kid looks great this year!

Lucky Lasorda: He must've been practicing that throw in the off-season.

Chance: Yep, and you're looking at the pooch he's been practicing with.

Trixie Uecker: That's fascinating, really. Now get your tail off the field!

Chance: [[w:Taxi Driver|You talkin' to me?; looks around him; lies down to watch the game; rushes into the game; steals the ball and is chased by the kids] ] Okay, I guess you are. Okay, fine, hey, listen, I got no problem. I'll just go sit in the front row. Yep. Doesn't bother me. I'll just lie down here, and... hang out, and watch these kids throw this really tasty looking leather ball around... oh boy, this is torture... I can't take this anymore. Hey! Whoa! I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

Sparky Michaels: What's this? It seems that a crazed fan has run onto the field and taken the ball away! Ever seen anything like it, guys?

Lucky Lasorda: Not me. How about you, Uecker?

Trixie Uecker: Never. And let me tell you, it's a sad day for the sport of baseball - and all of canine kind - when something like this happens.

Chance: [running, voice muffled by the ball] Oh, he's at the 20! He's at the 30! He's at the-- he's outta there!

Lucky Lasorda: I am just sickened.

Sparky Michaels: Well, I know none of us likes to hear the "B" word, but that is one bad dog!

Chance: It's a thing of beauty when Chance is on duty!

Sassy: Speaking of "doody", I thought I smelled something. Yuck.

Chance: Hey, what's your problem? Bad fur day?

Sassy: I'll tell you what's bad, oh fragrant one - I saw suitcases.

Chance: Why is that bad?

Sassy: It means the family is leaving. Though who could blame them, the way you smell!

Sassy: [Singing] Home, home in the burbs, where the cat and the squeak toy can play...where no traffic is heard, and I can maul birds, and sleep in the sunshine all day!

Sassy: Cut the mush, get the grub!

Sassy: [After the plane takes off without them] That was terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

Sassy: Can somebody tell me why I keep following Dumb and Dumber?!

Sassy: Does the cat always have to be the brains of the operation? Beauty and brains? I never cease to amaze myself.

Sassy: [After being dazed by Chance] Oh, I don't feel well...I am going to hurt you.

Sassy: [Chance has underwear stuck on his head; hums an "exotic dance" tune] Ooh, Chance, take it off! Take it all off!

Chance: [Closing line, eating the pizza] You know, I can't think of a happier ending.

Chance: [the pizza car arrives] There's only one thing I know that could make this moment more perfect. In fact, I think I smell it coming up the driveway right now. I'm smelling pepperoni, I'm smelling mushrooms, I'm smelling anchovies! I'm smelling three-- no, no, four, four kinds of cheese! It could be! It might be! It is! IT'S PIZZA!

Chance: Jamie? Is that you? Wait, what am I talking about? Of course, it's you! It's really you! I found you! I found my boy! I found my Jamie! Oh, I'm so happy! Oh, I could just lick you for days! Give me a hug!

Chance: I'd always heard love hurts. I never knew it could hurt this much. It was like getting a bath, missing dinner and going to the vet all rolled into one. I tell you, I was one sad puppy.

Chance: [[w:Chihuahua (dog)|Chihuahua] So we walked...and walked...and just for a little change of pace, we walked some more. Questions began racing through my mind. Where were we? How were we gonna get home? Who decided a ] was a dog? And, most importantly, when were we gonna eat?

Chance: [After the plane takes off without them; pees] I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared, not one wee little bit.

Chance: A cage?! They're treating me like I'm some kind of an animal!

Chance: They treat us pretty good here. Three meals a day, a warm place to sleep at night, and all the smelly sneakers you can eat.