32 quotes
Misunderstandings in a Social Encounter
Ellie
A man here to see you, sweetheart.
Peter
Who, me? You wanna see me?
Detective
What's your name?
Ellie
Are you addressin me?
Detective
Yeah, what's your name?
Peter
Hey, wait a minute! That's my wife you're talkin to. What do you mean comin in here? What do you want anyway?
Detective
We're lookin for somebody.
Peter
Yeah. Well, look your head off and don't come bustin in here. This isn't the public park...
Ellie
Now, don't get so excited Peter. The man just asked you a simple question.
Peter
Ohh. Is that so? Say, how many times have I told you to stop buttin in when I'm having an argument?
Ellie
Well, you don't have to lose your temper.
Peter
You don't have to lose your temper. That's what you said the other time too, every time I try to protect ya. The other night at the Elks Dance when that big Swede made a pass at ya.
[mocking her]
Ellie
He didn't make a pass at me. I told you a million times.
Peter
Oh no. I saw him. Kept pawin you all over the dance floor.
Ellie
He didn't. You were drunk.
Peter
Aw nuts. You're just like your old man. Once a plumber's daughter, always a plumber's daughter. There's not an ounce of brains in your whole family.
Ellie
Oh Peter Warne, you've gone far enough. I won't sit here and...
Peter
Aw, shut up!...Quit bawlin'! Quit bawlin'!
Detective
I told you they were a perfectly nice married couple.
[leaving]
Peter
Hey you know, you weren't bad jumping in like that. You've got a brain, haven't you!
Ellie
Well, you're not so bad yourself.
Peter
You know, we could start a two-people stock company. If things get tough, we'll play the small-town auditoriums...
Ellie
What about Cinderella or a real hot love story?
Peter
Oh no, no, no. That's too mushy.
Ellie
Oh I like mushy stuff.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Intelligence Behind Appearances
Ellie Andrews
There is a brain behind that face of yours, isn't there? You've got everything nicely figured out for yourself.
[to Peter]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings and Conflicts in Personal Boundaries
Ellie
I don't want it reported!...Can you understand English? Would you please keep out of my affairs. I want to be left alone.
Peter
Why, you ungrateful brat!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Generational Stubbornness and Parental Guidance
Ellie
You've been telling me what not to do ever since I can remember.
Mr. Andrews
That's because you've always been a stubborn idiot.
Ellie
I come from a long line of stubborn idiots.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Love Story Worth a Thousand Bucks
Peter
Supposin I was to tell you that Ellen Andrews was going to have her marriage annulled...She's going to marry somebody else...Would a story like that would be worth a thousand bucks to you...I got it, Joe.
Joe
Who's the guy she's gonna marry?
Peter
I am, Joe. I met her on a bus coming from Miami. I've been with her every minute. I'm in love with her, Joe...You gotta get me this money now. Quick. Minutes count. She's waiting for me in an autocamp, just outside Philadelphia. I gotta get right back. You see, she doesn't even know I'm gone. You know, a guy can't propose to a gal without a cent in the world, can he?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Marital Labels Create Awkward Tension
Ellie
I just had the unpleasant sensation of hearing you referred to as my husband.
Peter
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell ya about that. I registered as Mr. and Mrs.
Ellie
Oh, you did...Well, what am I expected to do? Leap for joy?
Peter
I kinda half expected you to thank me.
Ellie
Your ego is absolutely colossal.
Peter
Yeah, yep. Not bad. How's yours?
Ellie
You know, compared to you, my friend Shapeley is an amateur. Just whatever gave you any idea I'd stand for this?
Peter
Hey now, wait a minute. Let's get this straightened out right now. If you're nursing any silly notion that I'm interested in you, forget it. You're just a headline to me.
Ellie
A headline? You're not a newspaper man are you?
Peter
Chalk up one for your side.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstanding a Simple Moment
Ellie
You know this is the first time in years I've ridden piggy-back.
Peter
This isn't piggy-back.
Ellie
Course it is.
Peter
You're crazy.
Ellie
I remember distinctly my father taking me for a piggy-back ride.
Peter
And he carried you like this I suppose.
Ellie
Yes.
Peter
Your father didn't know beans about piggy-back riding.
Ellie
My uncle, mother's brother, has four children and I've seen them ride piggy-back.
Peter
I'll bet there isn't a good piggy-back rider in your whole family. I never knew a rich man yet who could piggy-back ride.
Ellie
You're prejudiced.
Peter
You show me a good piggy-backer and I'll show you a real human. Now you take Abraham Lincoln for instance. A natural born piggy-backer. Where do you get all of that stuffed-shirts family of yours?
Ellie
My father was a great piggy-backer.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Art of Gesture and Communication
Ellie
There's no end to your accomplishments, is there?
[on Peter's hitchiking skills]
Peter
It's all in that ol thumb, see?...that ol thumb never fails. It's all a matter of how you do it, though. Now, you take number one, for instance. That's a short, jerky movement like this - that shows independence, you don't care whether they stop or not. You've got money in your pocket, see...
Ellie
Clever!
Peter
But number two, that's a little wider movement - a smile goes with this one, like this, that means you've got a brand new story about the farmer's daughter...
Ellie
Hmm, mmm. You figured that out all by yourself!
Peter
Number three, that's the pits. Yeah, that's a pitiful one you know. When you're broke and hungry and everything looks black. It's a long sweeping movement like this, but you've got to follow through though...
Ellie
Oh, that's amazing.
Peter
It's no good though, if you haven't got a long face to go with it. Keep your eye on that thumb, baby, and see what happens.
[a car drives by without stopping]
Ellie
I still got my eye on the thumb.
Peter
Something must have gone wrong. I'll try method number two.
Ellie
When you get to 100, wake me up.
Peter
I don't think I'll write that book after all.
[after failing to get over a dozen cars to stop]
Ellie
Let me try.
Peter
You? Don't make me laugh.
Ellie
Oh, you're such a smart alec. Nobody knows anything but you. I'll stop a car and I won't use my thumb.
Peter
What're you going to do?
Ellie
It's a system all my own.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Late Apologies
Peter Warne
Oh, so you're changing your tune, eh? You're a little late with your apologies. I wouldn't go back to work for you if you begged me on your hands and knees. And I hope this will be a lesson to you.
[to his boss, who has already hung up]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Simple Story for Simple People
Peter Warne
Now that's my whole plot in a nutshell. A simple story for simple people. If you behave yourself, I'll see that you get to King Westley. If not, I'll just have to spill the beans to Papa.
[to Ellie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflicting Emotions of Hunger and Fear
Ellie
I'm hungry and - scared.
Peter
You can't be hungry and scared both at the same time.
Ellie
Well, I am.
Peter
If you're scared, it scares the hunger out of ya.
Ellie
Not if you're more hungry than scared.
Peter
All right, you win. Let's forget about it.
Ellie
I can't forget it. I'm still hungry.
Peter
Holy Smoke! Why did I ever get mixed up with you? If I had any sense, I'd be in New York by this time.
Ellie
What about your story?
Peter
Taking a married woman back to her husband. Hmm, mmm. I turned out to be the prize sucker. All right, come on. Your bed's all ready.
Ellie
I'll get my clothes all wrinkled.
Peter
Then take em off.
Ellie
What!?
Peter
All right, don't take em off. Do whatever you please, but shut up about it.
[He walks off]
Ellie
You're becoming awful disagreeable lately. You just snap my head off every time I open my mouth. If being with me is so distasteful to you, you can leave. You can leave anytime you see fit. Nobody's holding you here. I can get along.
Ellie
What are you thinking about?
Peter
By a strange coincidence, I was thinking of you.
Ellie
Really?
Peter
Yeah. I was just wondering what makes dames like you so dizzy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Shapeley's Bold Flirtation and Detective's Doubt
Detective
We're wasting our time. Can you imagine Ellie Andrews riding on a bus?
Shapeley
Shapeley's the name - and that's the way I like em!
Shapeley
Well, shut my big nasty mouth! It looks like you're one up on me. You know, there's nothing I like better than to meet a high-class mama that can snap em back at ya. Cause the colder they are, the hotter they get. That's what I always say. Yes, sir, when a cold mama gets hot, boy, how she sizzles. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Now, you're just my type. Believe me, sister, I could go for you in a big way. Fun-on-the-side Shapeley they call me, with accent on the fun, believe you me.
[to Ellie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation of Wealth and Humility
Ellie
Listen, if you promise not to do it, I'll pay you. I'll pay you as much as he will. You won't gain anything by giving me away, as long I'm willing to make it worth your while. I've got to get to New York without being stopped. It's terribly important to me.
Peter
You know, I had you pegged right from the jump. Just a spoiled brat of a rich father. The only way you get anything is to buy it, isn't it? You're in a jam and all you can think of is your money. It never failed, did it? Ever hear of the word humility? No, you wouldn't. I guess it would never occur to you to just say, Please mister, I'm in trouble, will you help me? No, that would bring you down off your high horse for a minute. Well, let me tell you something, maybe it will take a load off your mind. You don't have to worry about me. I'm not interested in your money or your problem. You, King Westley, your father. You're all a lot of hooey to me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Search for True Love
Ellie
Have you ever been in love, Peter?
Peter
Me?
Ellie
Yeah. Haven't you ever thought about it at all? Seems to me you, you could make some girl wonderfully happy.
Peter
Sure I've thought about it. Who hasn't? I never meet the right sort of girl. Aw, where you gonna find her? Somebody that's real. Somebody that's alive. They don't come that way anymore. I never thought about it. I've even been suckered enough to make plans. I saw an island in the Pacific once. I've never been able to forget it. That's where I'd like to take her. She'd have to be the sort of a girl who'd jump in the surf with me and love it as much as I did. Nights when you and the moon and the water all become one. You feel you're part of something big and marvelous. That's the only place to live. The stars are so close over your head you feel you could reach up and stir them around. Certainly, I've been thinking about it. Boy, if I could ever find a girl who was hungry for those things...
Ellie
Take me with you, Peter. Take me to your island. I want to do all those things you talked about.
Peter
You'd better go back to your bed.
Ellie
I love you. Nothing else matters. We can run away. Everything will take care of itself. Please Peter, I can't let you out of my life now. I couldn't live without you.
[She cries in his arms]
Peter
You'd better go back to your bed.
Ellie
Sorry.
[Returning to her own bed, she cries herself to sleep on her pillow]
Peter
Hey, brat. Did you mean that? Would you really go?
[He looks over the blanket and sees she is asleep]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reflection on Independence and Control
Ellie Andrews
You think I'm a fool and a spoiled brat. Well, perhaps I am, although I don't see how I can be. People who are spoiled are accustomed to having their own way. I never have. On the contrary. I've always been told what to do, and how to do it, and when, and with whom. Would you believe it? This is the first time I've ever been alone with a man!...It's a wonder I'm not panic-stricken...Nurses, governesses, chaperones, even bodyguards. Oh, it's been a lot of fun.
[to Peter]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Identity and Whimsy in Conversation
Ellie
By the way, what's your name?
Peter
What's that?
Ellie
Who are you?
Peter
Who me? I'm the whippoorwill that cries in the night. I'm the soft morning breeze that caresses your lovely face.
[smiling]
Ellie
You've got a name, haven't you?
Peter
Yeah, I got a name. Peter Warne.
Ellie
Peter Warne. I don't like it.
Peter
Don't let it bother you. You're giving it back to me in the morning.
Ellie
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Warne.
Peter
The pleasure is all mine, Mrs. Warne.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unrequited Love and Familial Concerns
Mr. Andrews
Now don't tell me you've fallen in love with a bus driver...Who is he?
Ellie
I don't know very much about him. Just that I love him.
Mr. Andrews
Well, if it's as serious as all that, we'll move heaven and earth to...
Ellie
No, it's no use. He despises me.
Mr. Andrews
Oh, come now.
Ellie
Yes he does. He despises everything about me. He says that I'm spoiled and selfish and pampered, and-and thoroughly insincere.
Mr. Andrews
Oh, ridiculous.
Ellie
He doesn't think so much of you either...He blames you for everything that's wrong with me. He says you raised me stupidly.
Mr. Andrews
Now that's a fine man to fall in love with.
Ellie
Oh, he's marvelous! I practically threw myself at him. I don't want to stir up any more trouble. I've done it all my life. I've made your life miserable and mine too. I'm tired Father. I'm tired of running around in circles...I've got to settle down. It doesn't matter how or where or with whom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Final Moments Before a New Beginning
Peter
Well, we're on the last lap. Tomorrow morning, you'll be in the arms of your husband.
Ellie
Yeah. You'll have a great story won't you?
Peter
Yeah.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defiance and Pride in Adversity
Peter Warne
In a pig's eye, you will!...Hey listen monkey face, when you fired me, you fired the best newshound your filthy scandal sheet ever had...That was free verse, you gashouse palooka!
[to his boss, on the phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Dangerous Proposition and a Grim Warning
Peter Warne
I got a couple of machine guns in my suitcase. I'll let you have one of em. May have a little trouble up North. Have to shoot it out with the cops. But if you come through all right, those five G's are as good as in the bag, maybe more. I'll have a talk with the Killer, see that he takes care of ya....yeah, yeah, the big boy, the boss of the outfit. You ever hear of Bugs Dooley?...He was a nice guy, just like you. But he made a big mistake one day. Got a little too talkative. Do you know what happened to his kid?...Well, I can't tell you, but when Bugs heard about it, he blew his brains out.
[to Shapeley]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Choices and Consequences in Relationships
Peter
Well, you certainly outsmarted your father. I guess you ought to be happy.
Ellie
Am I going to see you in New York?
Peter
Nope.
Ellie
Why not?
Peter
I don't make it a policy to run around with married women.
Ellie
No harm in your coming to see it.
Peter
Not interested.
Ellie
Will I ever see you again?
Peter
What do you want to see me for? I've served my purpose. I brought you back to King Westley didn't I? That's what you wanted, wasn't it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Father's Concern for His Daughter
Mr. Andrews
I admit I'm licked. But it's only because I'm worried. If I don't find her soon, I'll go crazy...if she returns, I won't interfere with your marriage.
[to King Westley]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Art of Dunking Explained
Peter
Hey, where'd you learn to dunk? In finishing school?
Ellie
Aw, now don't you start telling me I shouldn't dunk.
Peter
Of course you shouldn't - you don't know how to do it. Dunking's an art. Don't let it soak so long. A dip and plop, in your mouth. Let it hang there too long, it'll get soft and fall off. It's all a matter of timing. Aw, I oughta write a book about it.
[he stuffs the donut in his mouth]
Ellie
Thanks, professor.
[Laughing]
Peter
Just goes to show you - twenty millions, and you don't know how to dunk.
Ellie
Oh, I'd change places with a plumber's daughter any day.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mr. Andrews Addresses Mr. Warne
Mr. Andrews
Mr. Warne?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Matter of Principle and Love
Mr. Andrews
That guy Warne is OK. He didn't want the reward. All he asked for was $39.60, what he spent on you. Said it was a matter of principle. You took him for a ride. He loves you Ellie. He told me so. You don't want to be married to a mug like Westley. I can buy him off for a pot of gold. And you can make an old man happy and you won't do so bad for yourself. If you change your mind, your car's waiting back at the gate.
[to Ellie, as she is walking down the aisle]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Reliance Amidst Unforeseen Circumstances
Peter
Remember me? I'm the fellow you slept on last night.
Ellie
You needn't concern yourself about me. I can take care of myself.
Peter
You'll never get away with it, Miss Andrews.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defending a Hard-Won Seat
Peter Warne
Now listen, I put up a stiff fight for that seat. So if it's just the same to you - scram!
[to Ellie]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Consequences of Sitting on Newspaper
Peter Warne
I never did like the idea of sitting on newspaper. I did it once, and all the headlines came off on my white pants. On the level! It actually happened. Nobody bought a paper that day. They just followed me around over town and read the news on the seat of my pants.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Journalist's Excitement Over a Major Scoop
Peter Warne
Am I laughing? The biggest scoop of the year just dropped in my lap. I know where Ellen Andrews is...How would you like to have the story, you big tub of mush...Will try and get it. What I said about never writing another line for you still goes. Are you burning? PETER WARNE
[in a telegram]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Hitchhiking in the Moment
Ellie
What do you say we're supposed to be doing?
Peter
Hitchhiking.
Ellie
Oh. Well, you've given me a very good example of the hiking. Where does the hitching come in?
Peter
A little early yet. No cars out.
Ellie
If it's just the same to you, I'm going to sit right here and wait til they come.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Power of Ingenuity in Communication
Ellie
Aren't you going to give me a little credit?
Peter
What for?
Ellie
Well, I proved once and for all that the limb is mightier than the thumb.
Peter
Why didn't you take off all your clothes? You could have stopped forty cars.
Ellie
Oh, I'll remember that when we need forty cars.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Privacy and Humor in Unexpected Conversations
Ellie
That, I suppose, makes everything quite all right?
Peter
Oh this? Well, I like privacy when I retire. Yes, I'm very delicate in that respect. Prying eyes annoy me. Behold the walls of Jericho! Uh, maybe not as thick as the ones that Joshua blew down with his trumpet, but a lot safer. You see, uh, I have no trumpet. Now just to show you my heart's in the right place, I'll give you my best pair of pajamas.
Peter
Uh, do you mind joining the Israelites?
Peter
You don't want to join the Israelites? Alright.
Peter
Perhaps you're interested in how a man undresses. You know, it's a funny thing about that. Quite a study in psychology. No two men do it alike. You know, I once knew a man who kept his hat on until he was completely undressed. Yeah, now he made a picture. Years later, his secret came out. He wore a toupee. Yeah. You know, I have a method all my own. If you notice, the coat came first, then the tie, then the shirt. Now, uh, according to Hoyle, after that, the, uh, pants should be next. There's where I'm different... I go for the shoes next. First the right, then the left. After that it's, uh, every man for himself.
Peter
Aw, don't be a sucker. A good night's rest'll do you a lot of good. Besides, you got nothing to worry about: the walls of Jericho will protect you from the big bad wolf.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.