It Takes Two (1995) - Quotes

The Power of Two in Perfect Matches

Taglines: When it comes to making the perfect match...Two heads are better than one! Especially if they look exactly alike.

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Identical Strangers, Different Worlds, Perfect Match

Taglines: Two identical strangers. Two different worlds. One perfect match.

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Unexpected Revelations Among Friends

Alyssa: [to Amanda] Told ya, third time's the charm.

Roger: W-wait a minute. All of this? This was your doing?

Diane: Oh, it WAS, was it?

Roger: Well, ladies, what do you have to say for yourselves?

Amanda and Alyssa: So kiss already!

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Tensions Rise Among Conflicted Characters

Clarice: This is all YOUR fault!

Vincenzo: [furiously] Lady, if you touch that child, I'll POP you one, so help me God!

Clarice: [laughs and smiles] Oh, my God! There's two of them! It's a conspiracy! Well, at least I'll get to hit one of you.

Diane: HEY! Back off, "Barbie". And by the way, you have a little, tiny bit of something right here on your teeth.

Clarice: I have never been more humiliated in my LIFE!

Alyssa: Wanna bet?

Clarice: [shrieks; runs out in humiliation] Oh, my God! Daddy! Oh, my God!

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Alyssa Urges Diane to Join the Group

Alyssa: Aren't you coming?!

Diane: [stammers] Uh, no, I think I'm just gonna wait for Amanda out here.

Alyssa: Diane Barrows! Get your butt up here this... instant!

Diane: Okay. Okay. Maybe I'll just stand in the back and take a little look-see.

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Unexpected Encounter with Horses

Diane: Oh, no. NOT another horse!

Alyssa: Diane, come on!

Diane: All right.

Diane: Where is the driver?

Diane: Oh! Hey, Buddy! Listen, you gotta take us to St. Bart's right away! It's an emergency!

Driver: [mouthful] We're closed, Miss. I'm on my break!

Diane: I wanna thank you for all your help, Bud!

Alyssa: [whips the reins] HYAH!

Driver: [still mouthful] Hey. Hey, lady! Hey, that's...

Driver: [screams clearly] THAT'S MY HORSE!!!!!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Urgent Decision Before the Deadline

Alyssa: We'll never make it! We only have 10 minutes!

Diane: So, Lou!

Lou: Yeah?

Diane: How close can you land this thing to the church?

Lou: Central Park close enough?

Diane: Central Park? The Central Park? That'll do.

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Misunderstandings in a playful exchange

Billy: Hail Betty, Queen of the scrap heap!

All Butkis Kids: Hail Betty!

Alyssa: But my name's Alyssa Callaway!

Harry: Yeah, right. And I'm Princess Di.

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Searching for Comfort in Unfamiliar Spaces

Harry Jr.: We've been looking for you, Your Highness.

Alyssa: [annoyed] Leave me alone.

Brenda: But, Your Majesty, we brought you something.

Billy: Yeah. Something to make you feel more at home.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Searching for Solutions Amidst Chaos

Clarice: Where the hell is everybody? Vincenzo!

Vincenzo: I sure hope you got a plan.

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Conflict Over Miss Van Dyke's Arrival

Diane: You were supposed to protect her! You should've done something. Y-Y-You could've slit their tires or something! Anything!

Jerry: They had the paperwork!

Diane: What paperwork?!

Patty: [hands Diane the paperwork] We couldn't find you! Miss Van Dyke was here. What did you want us to do, lie in front of the van, for God's sake?!

Diane: [drops the paperwork; takes the keys to the Jeep] I would have! I'm takin the Jeep!

Jerry: Hey, that's the camp's!

Diane: [furiously; storms off] Oh, don't you even...!

Unexpected Humor Sparks a Food Fight

Roger: Excuse me, ma'am. Did you just snort?

Roger: [picks up a butterknife w/a bit of butter on it] I suppose you think this is funny? Well, maybe you'll get a little chuckle outta this.

Diane: You wouldn't dare.

Diane: FOOD FIGHT!!!

Diane's Determination to Adopt Amanda

Diane: [to the main office of child services on the phone] Let me just run this by you one more time, okay? Please, just hear me out, one more time. Okay. I know I don't make that much money, and I know that I'm a little bit single, but I want to adopt Amanda.

Diane: [to Patty; to phone; hangs up in fury] No, I... Are you laughing at me? He's laughing at me! You... You stupid JERK!

Father's Concern for Daughter's Attention

Roger: You think maybe my daughter's asking for a little attention?

Vincenzo: I'd say she's demandin it.

Roger: Hmm.

Misunderstandings in Fashion and Profession

Vincenzo: Miss Kensington says "fashionably late" was an hour ago. What seems to be the problem?

Carlo: I'm a hairdresser. Not a zookeeper.

The Role of Luck in Success

Roger Callaway: I made my money the old fashion way - pure dumb luck.

A Personal Touch in Music Performance

Amanda Lemmon: [as Alyssa; briefly eyes the sheet music cover: "Frederic Chopin- Eight Pieces for the Piano"] Ladies and gentlemen, normally, I'd be tickled to play a selection from... ... Chopin, but in honor of my new stepmother, whom I absolutely adore, I've decided to play a little something of my own.