15 quotes
Beyond High School Evil
Taglines
She's evil... and not just high school evil.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship and Betrayal in Crisis
Needy
Best friends FOREVER, huh? You killed my best boyfriend! You goddamned monster, you dumb BITCH!
Needy
Ya know what THIS is for? Huh? It's for cutting BOXES!
Jennifer
Do you buy ALL your murder weapons at Home Depot? God, you're butch!
Needy
Cross out Jennifer!
Jennifer
My tit.
[After being stabbed]
Needy
No...your heart.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Strategic Power in the Right Hands
Jennifer Check
These are like smart bombs, you point them in the right direction and shoot gets real.
[Grabs Needy's breasts]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Critique of Masculinity and Appearance
Needy
Colin's really nice.
[after Colin asks Jennifer out]
Jennifer
He listens to maggot rock. He wears nail polish. My dick is bigger than his.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tensions Rise Among Friends and Family
Chip Dove
Needy, I care about you. As a person, not just some girl I made love to for four minutes the other night, and I'm scared of what's happening to you.
Chastity
It's true. It's on the Wikipedia.
Needy's Mom
I dreamed some bad people were trying to nail you to a tree with hammers and big stakes and shit. Just like J.C. But I didn't let em get to you, cause I'm a hard-sassed, Ford-tough mama bear.
[to Needy]
Jonas Dad
YOU HEAR ME, YOU BASTARD?! I'LL CUT OFF YOUR NUTSACK AND NAIL IT TO MY DOOR!!! LIKE ONE OF THOSE LION DOOR KNOCKERS RICH FOLKS GOT! THAT WILL BE YOUR BALLS!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Journey to a Rock Band's Final Show
Passing Motorist
So, why are you headed east?
Needy
I'm following this rock band.
Passing Motorist
Must be one hell of a group.
Needy
Tonight's gonna be their last show.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Teenage Girls and Their Inner Turmoil
Needy Lesnicky
Hell is a teenage girl.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Change and Uncertainty in Transformation
Needy Lesnicky
I don't even know who Needy Lesnicky is anymore. I'm a different person now. A person who uses curse words and kicks orderlies and sees things that aren't there. A very bad, very damaged person... But sometimes change can be good! For instance, most occult scholars don't know this, but if you're bitten by a demon, and you live, you just might absorb some of the demon's abilities... You might get lucky for once in your miserable life!
[lifts her top sleeve, revealing Jennifer's bite mark imprinted on her shoulder; she floats up, kicks out the window and escapes]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Struggling Indie Bands and Dark Ambitions
Nikolai Wolf
Do you know how hard it is to make it as an indie band these days? There are so many of us, and we're all so cute and it's like if you don't get on Letterman or some retarded soundtrack, you're screwed, okay? Satan is our only hope. We're in league with the Beast now. And we've got to make a really big impression on him. And to do that, we're going to have to butcher you. And bleed you. And then Dirk here is going to wear your face. Relax, I'm kidding about the face thing. The rest is going to happen.
[Dirk gives him a look]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Comments in a Casual Conversation
Jennifer
Hey, Chip. It smells like Thai food in here... Have you guys been fucking?
[Needy and Chip come downstairs from her bedroom]
Needy
Ugh, you're gross!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating the Reality of PMS
Needy
Are you PMS'ing or something?
Jennifer
PMS isn't real Needy, it was invented by the boy-run media to make us seem like we're crazy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Clever Plan to Obtain Alcohol
Needy
How are you going to get alcohol?
Jennifer
I'll just play Hello Titty with the bartender.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Misunderstandings About Virginity and Consequences
Jennifer
I think the singer wants me.
Needy
Only because he thinks you're a virgin. I heard them talking.
Jennifer
Yeah, right. I'm not even a backdoor virgin anymore, thanks to Roman. By the way, that hurts. I couldn't even go to flags the next day. I had to stay home and sit on a bag of frozen peas.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding True Evil in Relationships
Needy
Jennifer's evil.
Chip
I know.
Needy
No. I mean, she's actually evil. Not high school evil.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Abilities and Jealousy
Chip
She can fly?
[after Jennifer attacked him]
Needy
She's just hovering... it's not that impressive.
Jennifer
God, do you have to undermine everything I do? You are such a player hater.
Needy
You're a jerk.
Jennifer
Nice insult, Hannah Montana. Got any more harsh digs?
Needy
You know what? You were never a good friend. Even when we were little you used to steal my toys, and pour lemonade on my bed.
Jennifer
And now I'm eating your boyfriend. See? At least I'm consistent.
Needy
Why do you need him? Huh? you can have anybody that you want, Jennifer. So... why Chip? Is it just to tick me off? Or is it just because you're just really insecure?
Jennifer
I am not insecure, Needy. God, that was a joke, how could I ever be insecure? I was the Snowflake Queen!
Needy
Yeah, two years ago when you were socially relevant.
Jennifer
I am still socially relevant.
Needy
And when you didn't need laxatives to stay skinny.
Jennifer
I am going... to eat your soul... and SPIT IT OUT, LESNICKI!
Needy
I thought you only murdered boys.
Jennifer
I go both ways.
[smirks]
Needy
(gets the idea) Wait a second... You got my last name right! I knew you would!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.