16 quotes
Questioning the Validity of a Secret Mission
Tequila
A bottle in a secret wall. You really expect me to take that seriously? See, I think your story's horse shit. Y'all just trying to cover for a failed rescue mission. You're here for the lepidopterist, ain't you?
Tequila
Okay, so your mystery bottle, huh? Look anything like that, right there?
[grabs a bottle of Statesman whiskey]
Eggsy
Yes. Same brand, much older.
[impatiently]
Tequila
All right. Let's see here. You know why the measurement of alcohol content is called proof'?
[opens bottle and sniffs the whiskey]
Eggsy
Oh, fuck off!
Merlin
Oh, for Pete's sake!
Tequila
See, comes from back in the old days when pirates wanted to test the strength of their rum. They used to pour a little bit out on gunpowder. Oh, that'll make you wanna slap your mama right there, boy. And then the gunpowder, if it burnt when they set it alight, they considered it proof that their rum was good and strong. But see, I ain't got no gunpowder on me, do I? But I'm pretty sure you boys'll make just as impressive of a sound when I set your balls on fire. Or you could just tell me who the fuck y'all really are and how the hell you found us.
[drinks a little; splashes more whiskey, much to the annoyance of Eggsy and Merlin; Tequila pulls out a lighter as Merlin chuckles]
Merlin
Look, for the last time, we have nothing to protect but our honor. So you can take your cheap horse piss that you call whiskey, which, by the way, is spelled without an e and is nothing compared to a single malt scotch and you can go fuck yourself.
Tequila
What about you?
Eggsy
Me?
Tequila
Yeah.
Eggsy
No, I love a Jack and Coke, bruv. But I do agree with the part where you go fuck yourself.
Tequila
All right. Y'all ain't got nothing to protect other than your honor? Let's see what happens when we change things up.
Merlin
Harry!
Eggsy
Fuck me!
Tequila
Y'all got three seconds to tell the truth.
Merlin
Wait! No!
Eggsy
Harry!
Tequila
He can't hear you, but I can. So talk.
Merlin
No!
Eggsy
Get down, Harry!
Tequila
That's two.
Eggsy, Merlin
Harry! Harry!
Tequila
Three.
Ginger Ale
Stop!
Ginger Ale
Their story checked out. I opened our doomsday scenario locker and that umbrella was in it. Kingsman. It's got our logo on it.
Ginger Ale
I'm really sorry.
Tequila
My apologies, boys. I'd, I hope there ain't no hard feelings. I was just doin my job. Welcome to Statesman, independent intelligence agency. Just like y'all, I reckon. But our founders went into the booze business. Thank the sweet Lord above. This is Ginger Ale. She's our strategy executive.
Ginger Ale
Hello.
Tequila
I'm Agent Tequila.
Eggsy
This is the part where you untie us.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Poppy Adams on Drug Monopoly and Nostalgia
Poppy Adams
My drugs are everywhere. They were never my thing, but here I am, running the biggest drug cartel in the world. The only downside is having to live in the middle of nowhere. You know, these ruins are technically undiscovered. I just added a few touches to remind me of home. I grew up on all that awesome 50s nostalgia. Grease, American Graffiti, Happy Days. But I digress. The thing you need to understand is the hard work and ingenuity it took to achieve a global monopoly on the drug trade. And that's all on me. Not to toot my own horn. I just think it's really important for new recruits to understand the history of The Golden Circle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Moment of Appreciation and Taste
Poppy
It's beautiful, isn't it?
Poppy
Not that. This.
Poppy
Bon appetit.
Poppy
How is it?
Angel
It's delicious!
Poppy
Welcome to Golden Circle.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A humorous suggestion for a minor injury
Gary "Eggsy" Unwin / Galahad II
Put Alpha Gel on that, dickhead.
[After he and Harry stuff Whiskey into the meat grinder]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounters in a Cab
Hooded Figure
Eggy. You mind if I share your cab?
Eggsy
Charlie?
Charlie
It's ironic, isn't it? You look like a gentleman, I look like a pleb. If I was you, I'd unlock your cab.
Eggsy
Pete, get us out of here!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Complimenting Merlin's Appearance
Gary "Eggsy" Unwin / Galahad II
Hey, hey. Looking good, Merlin.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Agent Tequila's Bold Culinary Expression
Agent Tequila
Oh, that'll make you wanna slap your mama right there, boy.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unprecedented Situations in Kingsman Legacy
Merlin
Not one of my predecessors has ever been in this situation before. Thank God.
Merlin
A-ha.
Merlin
Remember this?
Eggsy
Yeah, how could I forget?
Merlin
Whatever's in that safe is the answer to all our problems.
Eggsy
Is that it?
Merlin
I suppose that must be upper-class humor. I don't get it.
[pauses]
Eggsy
Me neither. What the fuck are we supposed to do now?
Merlin
I think we should drink a toast to our fallen comrades.
Eggsy
To Roxy.
Merlin
Roxy.
Merlin
Ooh.
[impressed by the drink]
Merlin
To Arthur.
Eggsy
Arthur.
Eggsy
Mmm. Should we do one for JB?
Merlin
I think we should.
Merlin
I should have seen it coming. Charlie, the taxi. It's all my fault.
[sobbing]
Eggsy
No, that's bullshit. Bullshit, Merlin. It ain't all your fault. You're the best, bruv. Honestly, without you, I'd have lost it a long time ago.
Merlin
I think we should drink to Scotland.
Eggsy
I think we've probably had enough, to be honest.
[grabs bottle from Merlin]
Merlin
You're probably right.
Eggsy
Merlin.
Merlin
Aye?
Eggsy
I think we're going to Kentucky.
Merlin
Fried chicken? I love fried chicken.
[cleaning his glasses]
Eggsy
No. Proper Kentucky. Look.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Loss and Tragedy
Gary "Eggsy" Unwin / Galahad II
This ain't funny. Roxy is dead! Everyone's dead! Gone!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Southern Manners and British Influence
Agent Tequila
You know, my momma... she always told me, "Us Southerners get our good manners from the British." I was thinkin', "Ain't that a pity? Y'all ain't keepin none for yourself.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement for Glastonbury Festival Passes
Gary "Eggsy" Unwin / Galahad II
Got the passes from my contact. You're gonna love Glastonbury.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The End of the Beginning
Harry Hart / Galahad I
As one of our founding members said, "This is not the end. It is not the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Authority and Loyalty in The Golden Circle
Poppy
So, fellas, I have a couple of things that I wanna clarify. You understand that in The Golden Circle, my authority is never to be questioned, right? And the importance of following orders? Do you understand that? And the value of loyalty?
Poppy
It's easy to nod, isn't it?
Poppy
I don't like easy. I like proof.
Poppy
What's your name?
Angel
Angel, ma'am.
[Spanish accent]
Poppy
Angel, baby. Hey.. Your old pal Charles has messed up. That's all I'm gonna tell you, because that's all you need to know. So put him in the mincer, okay?
[whispers]
Charles
No, Miss Poppy!
Poppy
Good job! See my salon across the way? Head there for your makeover.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cultural Manners and Misunderstandings
Tequila
You know, my momma... she always told me, "Us Southerners get our good manners from the British." I was thinkin', "Ain't that a pity? Y'all ain't keepin none for yourself." Y'all ain't ever heard of knockin before you enter?
[spits tobacco]
Eggsy
Well, a-actually... we had an invitation, didn't we?
Merlin
Yeah.
Tequila
Oh, did you now?
Eggsy
Yeah, yeah, it came in the shape of a bottle? We're from the Kingsman tailor shop in London. Maybe you've heard of us.
Tequila
Oh, the Kingsman!
Merlin
Yeah.
Tequila
Huh. That's where y'all got them fine suits and them fancy spectacles y'all got on.
Merlin
Exactly.
Eggsy
That's right.
Tequila
Y'all look damn sharp. Let me see if I got it right here. You want me to believe that it's normal for a tailor to hack through an advanced biometric security system with nothin but a little bitty ol watch on?
Tequila
I can promise you, though.
Tequila
That dog don't hunt. So why don't you go on and get down on your knees and tell me who you really work for?
Tequila
That's 1963 Statesman Reserve. You just made it personal.
Eggsy
Who the fuck are you?
[passes out]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Trust and Betrayal Among Kingsman Agents
Eggsy
Someone decides to wipe out every Kingsman property, every agent, and somehow, conveniently, you weren't at home!
Merlin
I could say the same thing about you.
Eggsy
What, you think I'd kill Roxy? And my mate Brandon, and my fucking dog?
Merlin
No. You think I would?
Merlin
This thing... hacked us. Clearly, this arm can be remotely controlled. I'm only alive because my address wasn't on the database with the agents. Whoever Charlie's working with doesn't think that mere staff are missile-worthy.
Eggsy
This ain't funny. Roxy is dead! Everyone's dead! Gone! Do you even care?
Merlin
Pull yourself together! Remember your training. There's no time for emotion in this scenario.
Merlin
Now, as all surviving agents are present, we follow the doomsday protocol. When that's done, and only then, you may shed a tear in private.
Eggsy
Okay. What's the doomsday protocol?
Merlin
We go shopping.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Frustration Among Friends in a Tense Moment
Brandon
Come on, JB. Give it a rest, mate. Stop scratching the door. I'm gonna get the blame now.
Brandon
There you are. Happy?
Brandon
With the decks and all that.
Brandon
Shit, boy! What the...
Brandon
Do you reckon, JB, model material?
The King of Sweden
I must say, you're really not as I expected.
Eggsy
Well, thank you very much, Your Majesty.
Brandon
Eggsy, is that you, mate? What the fuck is going on here? You a gangster now or something? Fucking hell. Is that Tilde's mom and dad's house? Tell you what, whatever you're doing, I want in.
Eggsy
Put it down!
The King of Sweden
Why?
Brandon
What's this?
Eggsy
I said, put it down now!
The King of Sweden
What's wrong with it?
Eggsy
Shut it! Fucking shut it!
[shouting]
Princess Tilde
Eggsy!
[shocked at Eggsy's behavior]
The Queen of Sweden
I beg your pardon.
Eggsy
Shut it! Shut it now!
Brandon
All right, mate. Chill your boots.
Princess Tilde
Eggsy, what...
Eggsy
Oh, no. Oh my God, no. I'm so sorry.
Brandon
You shut up and all. You got me in enough trouble.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.