Legally Blonde (2001) - Quotes

Confusion Over Unexpected Reactions

Elle: Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.

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Hot Tub Memories and Shopping Plans

Elle: Oh, Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?

Warner Huntington III: [Vivian gives him an evil look] Uh, yeah.... no.

Elle: Well, this is so much better than that! Excuse me; I have some shopping to do.

Vivian: Four hours, huh?

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Social Dynamics in Romantic Rejection

David: I called your room last night; I was wondering if we could go out some time.

Girl: No.

David: Why?

Girl: Because you're a dork. Girls like me don't go out with guys like you.

Elle: [turns around and slaps David] Excuse me. Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together, and I haven't heard from you since.

David: [pause] I'm sorry?

Elle: Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?

David: Both?

Elle: Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you.

Girl: [after Elle has walked off] So, when did you wanna go out?

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A Conversation About Unasked Questions

Emmett: (clears throat)

Elle: Don't ask.

Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

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Costume Compliments with a Sharp Twist

Vivian: Nice costume.

Elle: You, too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

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The Importance of Innocence in Law

Professor Callahan: Would you rather have a client who committed a crime malum in se or malum prohibitum?

Elle: Neither.

Professor Callahan: And why's that?

Elle: I would rather have a client who's innocent.

Professor Callahan: Dare to dream, Miss Woods. Miss Kensington, which would you prefer?

Vivian: Malum prohibitum, because then the client would have committed a regulatory infraction as opposed to a dangerous crime.

Professor Callahan: [Elle raises her hand] Well done, Miss Kensington. It's obvious you've done your homework. Now, let's look at malum prohibitum a little more closely. It has been said-- Yes, Miss Woods?

Elle: I changed my mind. I'll take the dangerous one, because I'm not afraid of a challenge.

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Classroom Challenges and Emotional Responses

Elle: So, if you don't know an answer, they're just gonna kick you out?

Emmett: So, you have Stromwell, huh?

Elle: Yes. Did she do that to you, too?

Emmett: No, but she did make me cry once.... not in class — I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah, she'll kick you right in the balls.... or wherever.

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The Importance of Confidence in Law

David: Yes.

Professor Stromwell: Would you be willing to stake your life on that?

Professor Stromwell: [pokes random student with her pointer] And what about... his life?

Professor Stromwell: [faint smile] I recommend knowing before speaking. The law leaves much room for interpretation, but very little room for self-doubt. And you were right. It was Aristotle.

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Questioning the Difficulty of Harvard Law

Warner Huntington III: ...You? got into Harvard Law...?

Elle: What, like it's hard?

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Sorority's Toilet Paper Dilemma Unites Voices

Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin.... to generic! All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".

Entire Sorority Group: Aye.

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Discussion on LSATs and unexpected side effects

Elle: I'm reading about the LSATs.

Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your....

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Preparing for Harvard Admissions Requirements

Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.

C.U.L.A. Adviser: Well, then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.

Elle: Okay.

C.U.L.A. Adviser: And a heck of an admissions essay.

Elle: Right.

C.U.L.A. Adviser: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.

Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me; I can handle anything.

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The Power of a Lucky Scrunchie

Margot: You'll need this.

Elle: Your scrunchie?

Margot: My lucky scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.

Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap-dance after the final.

Margot: Yeah – luckily.

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Unexpected Recognition in a Familiar Setting

Elle: Oh, my God! Do you know who this is?

Old Lady: No.

Elle: That’s Warner's older brother.

Old Lady: Who?

Elle: This is the type of girl Warner wants to marry. This is what I need to become to be serious.

Old Lady: What? Practically deformed?

Elle: No... a law student.

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A Disagreement Over Shoes and Transportation

Warner Huntington III: Pooh Bear, just get in the car.

Elle: [starts walking away, sniffling] No.

Warner Huntington III: You're gonna ruin your shoes.

Elle: [defeated; gets in car] Okay.

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Breaking Up Over Stereotypes and Expectations

Warner: Elle, if I'm gonna be a senator by the time I'm 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

Elle: So, you're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde?

Warner: No, that's not entirely true—

Elle: Then what? My boobs are too big?

Warner: [whispers] Your boobs are fine.

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A New Perspective on Legal Education

Elle's father: Law school is for people who are boring, and ugly, and…serious. And you, Button, are none of those things.

Aaron Mitchell: I was first in my class at Princeton, I have an I.Q. of a hundred and eighty-seven, and it's been suggested that Stephen Hawking stole his Brief History of Time…from my fourth grade paper.

Professor Stromwell: If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life, you're not the girl I thought you were.

Professor Stromwell: A legal education means you will learn to speak in a new language. You will be taught to achieve insight into the world around you. And to sharply question what you know.

Maurice: Oh, my God, the bend and snap! Works every time.

Paulette's Bold Decision About the Dog

Paulette Bonafonté: [to her ex-husband] I'm takin the dog, Dumbass!

Self-Reflection on Clumsiness and Anxiety

Paulette Bonafonté: Could I have been anymore goddamn spastic?

Questioning Competitiveness Among Women

Paulette Bonafonté: [Elle is in tears at the salon after she finds out Warner dumped her for her new rival, Vivian] So, what does this Vivian got that you don't got - three tits?

Questioning Motivation for Pursuing Law School

Professor Callahan: Do you think she just woke up one morning and said, I think I'll go to law school today'?

Embracing the Power of Being a Blonde

Emmett Forrest: You know, being a blonde is actually a pretty powerful thing. You hold more cards than you think you do. And I, for one, would like to see you take that power and channel it toward the greater good, you know?

The Importance of Passion in Law and Life

Elle Woods: [Speaking at the class graduation as valedictorian in Harvard.; excited] On my very first day at Harvard, a very wise professor quoted Aristotle, "The law is reason free from passion"; Well, no offence to Aristotle, but in my three years at Harvard, I have come to find passion is the key ingredient to the study and practice of law, and of life. It is with passion, courage of conviction, and strong sense of self that we take our next steps into the world. Remembering that first impressions are not always correct, you must always have faith in people, and most importantly you must always have faith in yourself. Congratulations, Class of 2004... We did it!

Elle Woods on Relationships and Career Goals

Elle Woods: [to Warner] I've been waiting for a long time for you to say that. But if I'm going to be a partner in a law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.

Demonstrating Elle Woods' True Value

Elle Woods: I'll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be!

The Connection Between Exercise and Happiness

Elle Woods: Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't!

The Simplicity of Hair Care Rules

Elle Woods: The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

The Power of the Bend and Snap

Elle Woods: Bend... and snap!

Perceptions Based on Appearance and Stereotypes

Elle Woods: All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.

Observations on Engagement and Materialism

Elle Woods: He's engaged! She's got the six-carat Harry Winston on her bony, unpolished finger.

Social Status and Personal Identity

Elle Woods: So just because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner, across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.

Fashion Opinions and Color Controversies

Elle Woods: [[Cameron Diaz; [w:Fred Segal|Fred Segal; [w:angora|angora] And two weeks ago, I killed ] at ], when I talked her out of buying this truly heinous ] sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed!