Little Giants (1994) - Quotes

Kevin: I just told the mayor you forfeited.

Danny: Yeah, well, you can tell the mayor a message from me: tell him not to bet on the Cowboys in the second half.

Kevin: You forget one thing.

Danny: Yeah?

Kevin: [points to the sign for the field, which has his name on it] That's my field.

Danny: Yeah, well, we have the ball.

Official: Personal Foul, number 32, white!

Spike: What?! Are you crazy, what kind of a call is that?!

Jake "Berminator" Berman: [Tries to push Spike; Spike pushes him down] That wasn't very nice you big bully!

Kevin O'Shea: Hammersmith? If that kid of yours pulls another stunt like that, you're both out of here.

Mike Hammersmith: Hey, come on! I thought you wanted to win!

Kevin O'Shea: Not like that.

Sean Murphy: [To Jake] Hey, four eyes!

Jake "Berminator" Berman: Ow!

Sean Murphy: [He laughs and walks away] Want your mama?

Jake "Berminator" Berman: Don't be talkin bout my mama!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: [Hanging on to Spike's jersey as he drags Tad behind him] I should've gone to summer school!

Spike: [To Becky] You're mine, Pom Pom!

Jake "Berminator" Berman: [To Danny after arriving overly protected; The team comes over and plays pushes with him; Smacks into a pole and falls down] My mom says the pads you gave me weren't enough. This is great! Keep pushing! I can't feel a thi-

Little Giants: Jake? Jake? Are you all right?

Kevin O'Shea: [Upon discovering a peanut butter and jelly sandwich inside of Rudy's helmet] Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Are you nuts?

Rudy Zolteck: [Takes a bite] It's still good!

Kevin O'Shea: [Sees Butz pull something else out of the helmet] You'll never get anywhere treating your helmet like a lunchbox, son. What are those?

Butz: Cheetos.

Kevin O'Shea: Crunchy or Puffed?

Butz: Puffed.

Kevin O'Shea: [Under his breath] Whimp.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: [Repeated line] I can't see with this thing on!

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: [Talking to his hands after failing to catch the football] Why do you do this to me, fellas? I cut your nails, wash you, put gloves on you when you're cold.

Murphy: Hey, Hanon, can't you catch anything?

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: [Blows his nose at Murphy] Yeah, Murphy, I caught a cold last week. Here, have some!

Rudy Zolteck: [Repeated line] You rang?

Rudy Zolteck: [As the Little Giants are changing, a woman arrives with her son] Aahh! It's a mom!

Danny O'Shea: [When the Little Giants, losing at the half, want to be put on the injured list] You know, there is something you guys should know. When I was 10 years old, I put myself on the injured list. I never got off it.

Timmy "Rawhide" Moore: Why?

Danny O'Shea: Because I didn't get picked a few times, so I started hiding under the bleachers.

Marcus "The Toe: That's where we belong. Under the bleachers.

Danny O'Shea: No, you don't. You guys belong out there with those Cowboys. You know how I know that? Because I belong out there with my brother.

Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck: Give us a break, coach. You could never beat Kevin O'Shea at anything!

Danny O'Shea: That's not true. I did beat him once.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: When?

Danny O'Shea: When we were kids. We used to race our bikes down Cherry Hill every day after school. We raced every day and he always beat me, but one time - one time - I beat him.

Jake "Berminator" Berman:: You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill?

Danny O'Shea: Yes, I did. He ate my dust.

Johnny "Viper" Vennaro: Big deal. One time.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: You know, one time at Randy Cooper's swim party, I did a backflip off the high dive, and my brother chickened out.

Marcus "The Toe: Roger chickened out? He's a Marine!

Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck: Ah, that's nothing! One time at the spring carnival, I beat both of my brothers in the Cow Dung Toss.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss?

Jake "Berminator" Berman: You know, one time I went fishing with my entire family, and I was the only one that didn't throw up.

Marcus "The Toe: So what? It still doesn't make us good football players.

Danny O'Shea: Well, wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? You play football because you want to. You play football because it's fun. You play football so you can pretend you're Joe Montana throwing a touchdown pass, or Emmitt Smith going for a long run. And even if those Cowboys are better than you guys, even if they beat you 99 times out of 100, that still leaves...

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: One time.

Rudy "Gasman" Zolteck: One time.

Junior Floyd: [Smiles] Yeah...one time!

Cowboys: [Chanting before the game] Cowboys! Cowboys! Win, win, win!

Little Giants: [Chanting before the game] Giants! Giants!

Jake "Berminator" Berman: [Yelling and chanting] Help us, God!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Death shrouds.

Danny O'Shea: [Turns one around] They've got your names on the back.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: So the guys at the morgue can identify the bodies.

Danny O'Shea: [Disguising his voice as an old lady; Passes the phone to Timmy, who feign cries] State police? Oh, thank God! My name is Thelma Mae Rogers. I'm 86 years old. I live in Urbania. There are two men down the bridge from the Shell station spying on some kids! We're all really scared. I just don't think it's right for men their age to be parading around in their underwear!

Timmy Moore: Please hurry!

Danny O'Shea: [Hangs up the phone; High fives Timmy] Oh, no! Nice job.

Danny O'Shea: This whole town may love you, but I'm the only one who knows how truly sick you are!

Kevin O'Shea: I treated you like a prince!

Danny O'Shea: You ignored me!

Kevin O'Shea: I took you to see the Cleveland Indians!

Danny O'Shea: You left me at the stadium!

Kevin O'Shea: Ahh!

Sean Murphy: [As the Cowboys have possession of the ball; to Rudy] Get ready dog breath. Because when I'm finished with you, you'll be farting out of your mouth and talking out of your butt!

Rudy Zolteck: [To "Rad Tad"] Is that physically possible?

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Are you all right?

Rudy Zolteck: [Talking out of his butt] I think so.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: [Impressed] Huh! I guess it is possible.

Mike Hammersmith: [Upon seeing Becky emerge from the locker room dressed up in Giant gear] Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. What's that cheerleader doing with a helmet on?

Kevin O'Shea: That's no cheerleader. That's my niece, Becky. She's pissed.

Mayor: [testing the microphone; brief microphone feedback] Is this thing on? Is this– Uh, good to see you folks. Welcome to the park! Now today, Kevin's Pee-Wee Cowboys are going to test their mini-muscles against Danny's Little Giants!

Kevin: Little Giants." Nice touch.

Danny: I thought you'd like that.

Mayor: Kevin, you call it.

Kevin: Heads.

Danny: [catches the coin as it's flipped] Uh, excuse me, how come he gets to call it?

Kevin: [the microphone picks up their conversation, broadcasting it throughout the field] Danny, what difference does it make? Either you kick off and we ram it down your throat... Or we kick off, we take it from you, then ram it down your throat.

Danny: What is it with you? You've been bossing me around since we were kids. Will you stop it already?

Kevin: Hey, it's football. You don't ask for things, you take them.

Danny: Like you took my ticket to the World Series with Dad?

Mayor: Guys, cut it out. You're brothers.

Danny: Not by choice.

Kevin: Hey, I don't need that. Not from a guy who sunk his last diamond into a broken-down gas station.

Danny: That "busted down" gas station has been servicing this community for over 40 years. It's a landmark.

Kevin: Ought to be a landfill.

Danny: I would put that gas station up against any business in this town.

Kevin: Are you sure about that?

Danny: Yes, I would and yes, I am.

Kevin: Okay, fine!

Danny: [beat] Okay, fine! What're we talking about?

Kevin: We're talking about my car dealership against your gas station. Winner of this game takes it all.

Danny: You're on!

Kevin: Alright.

Danny: Okay.

Kevin: [referring to the coin flip] I'll even let you call it. Open up your fist.

Danny: [opens his hand, showing the coin] Heads.

Kevin: Tails, hah! Danny, this is going to be the longest day of your life.

Danny: [flips the coin back to the mayor, then both brothers walk back to the sidelines; to himself] Yeah, we'll see about that. What the hell am I doing?

Nubie: ...Then he pivots, fakes, and chucks the ball halfway down the field to our, hopefully, still wide-open tailback. I call it "The Annexation of Puerto Rico".

John Madden: Not bad.

Nubie: Really? I kind of stole it from you: Raiders-Vikings, Super Bowl XI.

John Madden: Hey, you really are a genius.

Nubie: Thanks. The problem is, we don't have a tailback.

John Madden: [Draws something on the play as Nubie watches] Hmmm. Well, listen, what if you tried this...

Rudy Zolteck: Great, now they have Spike.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: And we got nothing.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: We got us.

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Yeah! We stink!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Cause you can't catch, Hot Hands.

Rudy Zolteck: At least he can walk, Crush Jerk.

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Hey Zolteck, have another Pop Tart!

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Yeah, fart boy, or can't you open your big mouth wide enough?!?

Danny O'Shea: Okay, guys, that's enough.

Junior Floyd: Yeah, Coach's right. Break it up.

Rudy Zolteck: Oh, shut up, Junior! You're so good, it makes us sick!

Junior Floyd: [Pause; Leaves] Hey, you don't want me to play? No problemo. I'm outta here.

Becky: Nice work! If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even have a team.

Marcus, the kicker: Hey, if it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop drooling and played a little more football!

Little Giants: Yeah!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: Why can't we all just play together?

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably the main reason Spike quit!

Rudy Zolteck: Yeah, quit bawling you big baby!

Tad "Rad Tad" Simpson: [kicks Rudy's leg] I can cry if I want! It's a free country! I can even do this!

Rudy Zolteck: Ow! Ow!

Marcus, the kicker: [Impressed] Nice kick.

Danny O'Shea: Guys, practice isn't over yet.

Little Giants: Who cares?

Danny O'Shea: C'mon, ref! This isn't American Gladiators! That was a cheap shot!

Referee: No penalty, no penalty.

Timmy Moore: [Dazed] Did I pass the spelling test, Mrs. Greeley?

Rudy Zolteck: Wow, Spike knocked him all the way back to second grade!

Rudy Zolteck: We never get picked for anything. Life stinks!

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: Yeah, there goes my shot at the pros. I'm gonna have to be a senator.

Rudy Zolteck: [Farts loudly] Here's a kiss for Murphy. And for Patterson and Briggs too.

Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon: [Laughing while waving his hand] Whoo! Whoo!

Murphy: [Enters with Briggs and Patterson] UGH! Damn, Zol-fart! What kind of roadkill did your mom feed you last night?

Rudy Zolteck: Free-range skunk.

Jake "Berminator" Berman: [Referring to the antacid tablets] I use these for acid indigestion.

Fast Eddie: What are we going to use them for?

Jake: Intimidation.

Danny O'Shea: Look, with this guy on the team, we got an actual shot at winning this thing. Just give me a minute to see if I can get him used to the idea of playing with a girl.

Becky: [Disgusted; Danny is disgustedly speechless; a car horn is heard; She storms off to tend to the honking car while Danny returns to practice] You don't think I can take him, do you? This is a bunch of crap.

Spike: Who's Spike's lead blocker?

Danny O'Shea: The Icebox.

Spike: Where's he at?

Becky: Right here.

Spike: [Stunned after learning Icebox is female] Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you a girl?

Becky: [Sarcastic] Gee, good eye.

Spike: Spike don't play with girls

Danny O'Shea: She's pretty good, Spike.

Spike: Spike don't care. Didn't you hear? Spike don't play with-

Becky: I can tackle anything. Anytime. Anywhere. Got that?

Spike: Look, you berzerko Barbie doll, when you mess with Spike, you mess with death.

Becky: You can talk the talk. But can you walk the walk?

Spike: Try me!

Becky: I will!

Spike: Let's go!

Becky: Right now!

Jake "Berminator" Berman: [Puts his hands on his helmet] Somebody call 911!

Danny O'Shea: Do you play football?

Timmy Moore: No.

Danny O'Shea: Do you like football?

Timmy Moore: No.

Danny O'Shea: Do you wanna play football?

Timmy Moore: No.

Danny O'Shea: Great, you can be on our team.