Monsters, Inc. (2001) - Quotes

Taglines: Since the very first bedtime, all around the world, children have known that once their mothers and fathers tuck them in, and shut off the light, that there are MONSTERS hiding in their closets, waiting to emerge! What they don't know is: it's nothing personal. It's just their job.

Taglines: We Think They Are Scary, But Really We Scare Them!

Taglines: You Won't Believe Your Eye.

Taglines: Monsters, Inc.: We Scare Because We Care

CDA Agent: [taps on the door] Take him away.

Smitty: I bet we get the rest of the day off.

Needleman: YOU IDIOT! They're gonna shut down the factory!

Mike: [looks at sad Sulley] I'm tellin ya, pal, when that wall went up, you should've seen the look on Waternoose's face. Hoo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you alright? Come on, pal, cheer up. We did it! We got Boo home. Ah, sure we put the factory in the toilet, and... gee, hundreds of people will be outta work now. Not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power, but hey! At least we had some laughs, right?

Sulley: Laughs.

Waternoose: This has gone far enough, James.

Sulley: She's home now! Just leave her alone!

Waternoose: I can't do that. She's seen too much. You both have.

Sulley: It doesn't have to be this way!

Waternoose: I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore!

Sulley: But kidnapping children?!

Waternoose: [knocks Sulley aside] I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die! And I'll silence anyone who gets in my way!

Sulley: No!

Voice: Simulation terminated. Simulation terminated.

Waternoose: [confused] Huh? But... What?

Mike: [replays the tape of Waternoose over and over] Well, I don't know about the rest of you guys, but I spotted several big mistakes. You know what? Let's watch my favorite part again, shall we?

Waternoose: [on tape] I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die! I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die! I'll kidnap 1,000 children before I let this company die!

CDA Agent: [they start arresting Waternoose] I'll get him. All right, come with us. Sir.

Waternoose: [last words; while being arrested; to Sulley; enraged] Wha-What are you doing? Get your hands off me! You can't arrest me! I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You've destroyed this company. Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now?! THE ENERGY CRISIS WILL ONLY GET WORSE, BECAUSE OF YOU!

Lead CDA Agent: [to his agents] Stay where you are. Number 1 wants to talk to you. Attention.

Roz: Hello, boys.

Mike and Sulley: Roz?

Roz: [door closes; Boo scampers to Mike and Sulley, while the CDA agents back away nervously] Two and a half years of undercover work were almost wasted when you intercepted that child, Mr. Sullivan. Of course, without your help, I never would have known that this went all the way up to Waternoose. Now, about the girl...

Sulley: [scoops Boo in his arms] I just wanna send her home.

Roz: [into wrist communicator] Very good. Bring me a door shredder.

Sulley: [shocked] What, you mean... You mean, I can't see her again?

Roz: That's the way it has to be. I'll give you 5 minutes.

Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike?

Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid.

Sulley: Mike, you don't understand.

Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but you shouldn't have left me out there.

Sulley: I'm being attacked!

Mike: No, I'm not attacking you. I'm tryna be honest, just hear me out. You and I are a team. Nothing is more important than our friendship.

Mike: I-I know, kid. He's too sensitive.

Mike: Hey, look at that, it's Randall. It's... Oh.

Waternoose: [to Randall] Get up, there can’t be any witnesses!

Randall: [through gritted teeth] There won’t be!

Randall: Wazowski! Where's the kid, you little one-eyed cretin?!

Mike: [Strapped down into the Scream Extractor] Okay. First of all, it's creetin. If you're gonna threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping me is gonna help you cheat your way to the top!

Randall: [chuckles nastily] You still think this is about that stupid scare record?

Mike: Well... I did. Right up until you... chuckled like that... and now I'm thinkin’ I should just get outta here.

Celia: Oh, Michael, I've had a lot of birthdays - well, not a lot of birthdays, but this is the best birthday ever. What are you looking at?

Mike: I was just thinking about the first time I laid eye on you, how pretty you looked.

Celia: [slightly embarrassed] Stop it.

Mike: Your hair was shorter then.

Celia: [the snakes in her hair look worried] Mm-hmm. I'm thinking about getting it cut.

Mike: [the snakes sigh in relief] No-no, I like it this length. I like everything about you. Just the other day someone asked me who I thought the most beautiful monster was in all of Monstropolis. You know what I said?

Celia: What did you say?

Mike: [sees Sulley trying to get his attention] I said-- Sulley?

Celia: Sulley?!

Mike: [to Sulley] Y'know, sometimes I feel so romantic, I think I should just marry myself!

Sulley: Give me a break, Mike...

Mike: [imitates a ship’s horn; finds himself face-to-face with Roz] What a night of romance I've got ahead of me! Tonight is about me and Celia! The loveboat is about to set sail! I'm tellin’ ya, pal, I see her face and it makes my heart go-- YIKES!!!

Roz: [sternly] Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight?

Mike: Well, as a matter of fact--

Roz: [silence; Mike is brandishing a nervous smile; leaves] And I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly...for once! Your stunned silence is very reassuring.

Mike: [Celia comes up to Mike] Oh no, my scare reports! I left them on my desk! If I'm not at the restaurant in five minutes, they're gonna give our table away, what am I gonna tell--?! Schmoopsie-Pooh.

Celia: Hey Googly-Bear, wanna get going?

Mike: Do I ever? It's just that... Uh...

Celia: What?

Mike: There's a small--

Celia: I don't understand.

Sulley: It's just I forgot about some paperwork I was supposed to file. Mike was reminding me; thanks, buddy.

Mike: I was? I mean, I was! Yeah, I was.

Celia: Okay, let's go then.

Mike: [whispering to Sulley; Celia pulls him away; he comes back; gets pulled away again] We're going! On my desk, Sulley. The pink copies go to accounting, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing, and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Leave the puce!

Sulley: [to himself; looks at some reddish-brown files] So the pink copies go to purchasing, and the fuchsia ones go to Roz. No, the fuchsia ones go to purchasing and the goldenrod ones go to Roz. Man, I have no idea what puce is... Oh, that's puce.

Mike: You know, there's more life than scaring. Whew. Hey, Can I borrow your odorant?

Sulley: Yeah, I got, uh, smelly garbage or old dumpster.

Mike: You got, uh, low tide?

Sulley: No.

Mike: How about wet dog?

Sulley: Yep. Stink it up.

Waternoose: [while getting himself some coffee] Oh... what a day.

Sulley: We're just going through a rough time, sir. Everyone knows you're going to get us through it.

Waternoose: [sips his coffee] Tell that to the board of directors. James, this company has been in my family for three generations. I would do anything to keep it from going under.

Sulley: So would I, sir.

Waternoose: Well... Say, I could use your help with something.

Sulley: Anything, sir.

Waternoose: You see, we've hired some new scare recruits and frankly, they're... they're, um... uh...

Sulley: [confused] Inexperienced?

Waternoose: Oh, they stink!

Sulley: Uh-huh.

Waternoose: And I thought maybe you might come by tomorrow and give them a demonstration. Show them what it takes to be a top scarer, huh?

Sulley: [jumpscares Waternoose] I'll start out with the old Waternoose Jump-and-Growl!

Waternoose: [startled; drops his coffee] Oh, oh, yes. Now, that's my boy.

Sulley: Happy birthday.

Celia: Thanks. So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight?

Mike: I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen’s.

Celia: Harryhausen’s?! But it's impossible to get a reservation there.

Mike: [walking to the Scare Floor with Sulley] Not for Googly Bear. I will see you at quittin’ time, and not a minute later.

Celia: Okay, sweetheart.

Mike: [singing] Think romantical thoughts. You and me, me and you, both of us together!

Mike: You wanna know why I bought the car, Sulley?

Sulley: Not really.

Mike: To drive it! You know, like on the street, with the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?

Sulley: Wa, wa, wa, wa. Will you give it a rest, butterball? C'mon, you could use the exercise.

Mike: I could use the exercise? Look at you! You have your own climate.

Mike: I'm tellin’ you, big daddy, you're gonna be seein’ this face on TV a lot more often.

Sulley: Yeah, like on "Monstropolis Most Wanted"?

Mike: [sarcastically] Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.

Ms. Flint: All right, Mr. Bile, is it?

Bile: Uh, my friends call me Phlegm.

Ms. Flint: Uh-huh. Mr. Bile, can you tell me what you did wrong?

Bile: I fell down?

Ms. Flint: [a monster coughs, groans; She rewinds the tape, then plays it. On the monitor, Thaddeus Bile sneaks into the bedroom, leaving the door open.; image freezes; monsters let out a collective "ooh"] No, no, before that. Can anyone tell me Mr. Bile's big mistake? Anyone? Let's take a look at the tape. Here we go. Right... there. See? The door! You left it wide open. And leaving a door open is the worst mistake any employee can make because...?

Bile: It could let in a draft?

Waternoose: [enters] It could let in a child!

Ms. Flint: Oh, Mr. Waternoose.

Waternoose: There is nothing more toxic or deadly than a human child. A single touch could kill you! Leave a door open, and a child could walk right into this factory. Right into the monster world!

Monster #2: [panicked] I won't go in a kid's room! You can't make me!

Waternoose: [grabs a scream can and angrily unlocks it, and the sound of children's screams leak out, letting the lights and electric surge, corks it back; puts down the scream can] You're going in there because we need this. Our city is counting on you to collect those children's screams. Without scream, we have no power! Yes, it's dangerous work, and that's why I need you to be at your best. I need scarers who are confident, tenacious, tough, intimidating. I need scarers like... like... James P. Sullivan!

Henry J. Waternoose: [taken away by the C.D.A.] I hope you're happy, Sullivan. You've destroyed this company! Monsters Incorporated is dead! Where will everyone get their scream now?! The energy crisis will only get worse because of YOU!

Henry J. Waternoose: Kids these days. They just don't get scared like they used to.

Randall Boggs: [about to dispose of Sulley] Look at everybody's favorite scarer now, you stupid pathetic waste. You've been #1 for too long, Sullivan! Now your time is up! And don't worry. I'll take good care of the kid.

Randall Boggs: [after whacking Sulley with a scream canister] You don't know how long I've wanted to do that, Sullivan!

Randall Boggs: [to Fungus] If I don't see a new door at my station in five seconds, I will personally put you through the shredder!

Mike Wazowski: I'm tellin’ ya pal, when that wall went up, you should have seen the look on Waternoose's face. Woo-hoo! I hope we get a copy of that tape. Hey, you all right? Come on, pal, cheer up, we did it. We got Boo home. Sure, we put the factory in the toilet, and, gee, hundreds of people will be out of work now, not to mention the angry mob that'll come after us when there's no more power... but hey, at least we had a few laughs, right?

Mike Wazowski: Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in you that makes you look like...Listen, I need a favor.

Mike Wazowski: [chants] I don't know, but it's been said. I love scaring kids in bed!

Mike Wazowski: [while Sulley brushes his teeth] C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!

James P. "Sulley" Sullivan: [to Mike; silently] Ook-lay in the ag-bay.