Night Shift (1982) - Quotes

A Fresh Take on an Ancient Profession

Taglines: The oldest profession in a new-look comedy.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Making the Day Pay Off Together

Taglines: Together they are going to make the day pay off... all night long!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Day Loses Life's Vibrancy

Taglines: It makes the day seem dead.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Morgue Business Turns into Popular Attraction

Taglines: Ever since two enterprising young men turned the City Morgue into a swinging business, people have been dying to get in.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Moment of Concern Among Friends

Belinda: Bill, Bill, are you all right? Did you break anything, Bill?

Bill: I caught an updraft.

Chuck: Are you OK?

Bill: Yeah, I'm alright, don't worry, I'm alright, fortunately the ground broke my fall.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Conversation About Perceptions and Leadership

Bill: [Chuck is spitting on himself in the jail cell] Chuck, come on - it looks bad in front of the other guys!

Chuck: So what am I running for, cell president?

Bill: No!... they have that?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Conversations on Opportunity and Morality

Chuck: As we sit here and idly chat, there are woman, female human beings, rolling around in strange beds with strange men, and we are making money from that.

Bill: Is this a great country, or what?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Consequences of a Confrontation

Chuck: [elevator door opens; Chuck sees Belinda lying on the elevator floor] Oh my God. Did you fall down? Did somebody hit you?

Belinda: Other way round. Somebody hit me and then I fell down.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

A Reminder to Stay Silent

Bill: You tellin me to shut up?

Chuck: I'm telling you to shut up! I will tell your recorder so that you don't forget!

Chuck: Hello, this is Chuck to remind Bill to SHUT UP!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Unexpected Introductions at Night Shift

Bill: [picking up photo from desk] Hey Chuck? Who is this? Your wife?

Chuck: Fiancée.

Bill: Nice frame!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Career Choices and Unexpected Paths

Chuck: I used to be an investment counselor.

Bill: [pause] Yeah? What's that?

Chuck: It's like a stockbroker.

Bill: So what're you doing babysitting stiffs? What were you... drinker? Big drinker?

Chuck: No!

Bill: Doper! Toothead! Nose candy! Coke!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Discussion of a Deceased Actor's Heritage

Chuck Lumley: [reads the forms that Leonard, the day shift guy left] Name of the deceased... something Polish?

Leonard: [[w:Barney Rubble|Barney Rubble] Oh, that ]. What an actor.

Severing Ties with Finality

Bill Blazejowski: I wash my hands and my feet of you!

Understanding the Essence of Prostitution

Bill Blazejowski: [writing on chalkboard] What are we really talking about here? Huh? What's the essence of what we're talking about? Spell it out for you if I have to. PROSTITUTION! Prostitution. Yeah, we can say it. We're big kids now, right? You know a lot of times it'll help you to understand a word if you break it down, so let’s do that now, shall we? PROS... it doesn't mean anything. Forget about that... TIT, I think we all know what that means. TU, kay two tit and TION, of course, from the Latin to shun... to say no, uh-uh, thank you anyway I don't want it, to push away... it doesn't even belong in this word really, so let's get rid of that.

Introducing the Love Brokers Concept

Bill Blazejowski: We'll call ourselves Love Brokers.

Innovative Tuna Fish Idea

Bill Blazejowski: [speaks into tape recorder] What if you mix...mayonnaise right in the can with the tuna fish? Hold it! Hold it! Wait a minute! Chuck! Take live tuna fish...and feed them mayonnaise. Oh this is good. Call StarKist.

Invention and Luck at the Blackjack Table

Bill Blazejowski: So there I was at the Blackjack table with all my wash n dries... did I tell you I had the idea for them first?

Innovative Ideas for a Cleaner Future

Bill Blazejowski: [speaking into tape recorder] Wanna know why I carry this tape recorder? To tape things. See, I'm an idea man, Chuck. I got ideas coming at me all day... I couldn't even fight em off if I wanted. Wait a second... hold the phone! Hold the phone! Idea to eliminate garbage. Edible paper. You eat it, it's gone! You eat it, it's outta there! No more garbage!