15 quotes
The Unfairness of Life's Circumstances
Jackson Rippner
Sometimes bad things happen to good people.
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Logic Over Emotion in Crisis Situations
Jackson Rippner
Lisa, whatever female-driven, emotion-based dilemma you may be dealing with right now, you have my sympathy. But for the sake of time and sanity, let's break this down into a little male-driven fact-based logic. One simple phone call saves your dad's life.
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A Life at Stake
Lisa Reisert
Please, just stop whoever's outside my dad's house!
Jackson Rippner
I already have, by twice intercepting these little communiques! You know, if they'd have fallen into the hands of a by-the-book stewardess, she'd have gone straight to the cockpit and we'd have landed somewhere else! If that happens, Leese, our guy in the BMW's gonna know about it, so do Dad a favor and stop gambling with his life!
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Blame and Recovery After a Funeral
Jackson
Are you all right?
Lisa
If I say yes, are you gonna ask me if I’m sure?
Jackson
No, no, that’s your dad’s department.
Lisa
Yeah, I’m fine, I… earlier today I had some cheap wine at the funeral, and combined with the cheap vodka… I blame you for that part.
Jackson
Well, I feel terrible now.
Lisa
You should.
Jackson
Oh, I do.
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Questioning Male Logic in Critical Moments
Lisa Reisert
Where's your male-driven fact-based logic now Jack?
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Trust and Personal Belongings in Crisis
Jackson
Okay. I trust you.
Lisa
And I need my purse.
Jackson
Not that much!
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Truth and Self-Interest in Relationships
Jackson Rippner
I never lied to you, Leese. You know why? Cause it doesn't serve me.
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Professional Secrets Revealed in Conversation
Lisa Reisert
So what is it you do?
Jackson Rippner
Government overthrows, flashy high-profile assassinations. The usual.
Lisa Reisert
O.K. Why don't you just tell me what you do?
Jackson Rippner
I already did.
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A Night of Chaos and Complaints
Marianne Taylor
Lisa! Do you have any idea what we've been through? First, there was no reservation. Then, our ceiling exploded. I got chunks of plaster all over me. I could get asthma.
[smiles forcedly at Cynthia]
Lisa Reisert
I'm so sorry, Mrs. Taylor. Is there anything we can do to make it up to you?
Marianne Taylor
Yes. Start by cleaning house. Get rid of her. She is completely useless.
Bob Taylor
Absolutely. And cheeky, too.
Lisa Reisert
I see. Well... Here's what you can do. You can fill out a comment card at our front desk.
[she looks over at Cynthia, then to the Taylors]
Marianne Taylor
A comment card? She asked us to fill out a comment card.
[indignantly to Bob]
Bob Taylor
You want us to fill out a comment card?
Lisa Reisert
Yes, I do. And after you've finished, you can go ahead and just shove it up your ass.
Cynthia
Yeah. You are so my hero.
[as she walks away with Lisa, arm in arm]
Lisa Reisert
Let's open the bar.
Cynthia
Champagne?
Lisa Reisert
Oh, anything but a bay breeze.
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A Moment of Uncertainty in Conversation
Jackson
What will you have?
Lisa
Um… no, it’s… I’m okay.
Jackson
If I can guess.
Lisa
Okay.
Jackson
Um… I’m feeling vodka. Definitely sweetened. Um… ]. No, way too common, um… ]. No, way too boring. So that leaves me with the simplicity of the grapefruit or the complexity of the pineapple. Grapefruit, ].
[[w:Cosmopolitan (cocktail)|Cosmo; [w:Screwdriver (cocktail)|Screwdriver; [w:Sea Breeze (cocktail)|Sea Breeze]
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Defending Personal Space and Boundaries
Lisa Reisert
Not in my house!
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Questions and Their Value in Dialogue
Lisa
Whatever you say.
Jackson
What, no questions?
Lisa
What good have they done me so far?
Jackson
Best question you’ve asked all night.
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Confronting Trauma and Its Lingering Effects
Lisa
It happened in a parking lot, the scar, two years ago, in the middle of the day. He held a knife to my throat the whole time. Ever since I've been trying to convince myself of one thing over and over.
Jackson
That it was beyond your control.
Lisa
No, that it would never happen again.
[she stabs him in the neck with a pen]
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Sarcastic remark amid high tension situation
Jackson Rippner
Pretty clear thinking given the circumstances. Wait, let me guess, some stress management courses? They're really paying off. When we get out of this, I may have to steal you.
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Name Revelation in Tense Encounter
Lisa Reisert
Is it Jack for short?
Jackson Rippner
No. I haven't gone by Jack since I was ten years old. Last name's Rippner.
[pause]
Lisa Reisert
Jack Rippner... Jack theee... oooohhhh.
Jackson Rippner
There you go.
Lisa Reisert
That wasn't very nice of your parents.
Jackson Rippner
That's what I told them. Before I killed them.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.