31 quotes
Unexpected Interruption in a Heated Exchange
Douche
That's no way to treat a lady.
Brenda
Oh, (BLEEP)
Douche
That's right, girl. It's me. And what we got here, a taco?! A whiny doughnut?! Some stupid floppy thing that nobody knows exactly what it is! Okay, so...
[referring to Lavash; A queso cheese comes up behind him]
Queso
Did someone say "Queso"?
Douche
That's a (BLEEP) stretch, and you know it, Queso! So where was I? Oh, right. I was about to beat on you most viciously... and in my opinion appropriately, to find the whereabouts of the sausage who destroyed my body and my... (BLEEP)
[Queso rolls away; Brenda rips the sticker off Douche]
Brenda
Run for your lives!
Douche
(BLEEP), that HURTS so much!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Baked and Fried: A Druggie's Perspective
Taglines
Baked and fried (Druggie tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Darren's Humorous Reflection on Food Products
Taglines
Jerkin and clerkin (Darren tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Tension Among Food Characters Escalates
Tequila
Alright, I got'em right here amigo. I-- "SWITCH!
[walks inside; finds that Lavash, Sammy and Brenda have disappeared]
Lavash
Get your nose out of my crotch!
[squeezed in the closet with Sammy Bagel Jr.]
Sammy Bagel Jr.
Get my nose out of your crotch?" Get your crotch off my nose!
Brenda
Hey, why are we hiding?
Teresa
Shh! Cállate! He's coming.
Brenda
Who?
Teresa
The one they call... El Dou-che.
[Douche enters the bar; all the Mexican food products are frightened]
Mexican Food Product 1
El Dou-che.
[quietly]
Mexican Food Product 2
El Dou-che!
[quietly]
Mexican Food Product 3
El Dou-che!
[quietly]
Douche
What gives, bro? You told me you had them. So, you dragged me over to this (bleep) aisle with these illegal products, and now I don't see them. So, where the bucket are they? Spill the beans!
Refried Beans
What?
Douche
Beans, I swear to (BLEEP) God if you don't shut the ducks upstairs!
Brenda
Oh no! He's back! Where's Frank?
[looks out from the closet]
Tequila
They were just here!
Douche
What part of "I want the sausage and the bun dead, and if you see them, come and get me, and if I find out that you didn't come and get me or just couldn't find them good enough, I'll gonna get it not kill anymore your assessments" did you not understand, Tequila?!
Tequila
Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence to be honest with you, you know. I mean, this is... uh, this happens, you know...
Douche
Ah, bro, come here, ah, it's fine, it's cool. No biggie! I'm not gonna do something messed up to you now as soon as I get you in close. Come here.
[calms down; grabs Tequila and shatters him]
Salsa
No way! José!
Douche
YES WAY! José's is dead, yo!
[drinks Tequila's fluids, causing him to turn green and get stronger muscles]
Teresa Del Taco
Puta madre, puta madre.
[watches Douche drink Tequila's fluids; Douche throws Tequila's cap into El Guaco's crotch]
El Guaco
Ay! right in my guac and balls!
Douche
And the same thing's gonna happen to all of you unless you find the SAUSAGE and the bun!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Hero Will Rise in Sausage Party
Taglines
A hero will rise. (Frank tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing All Types of Food Choices
Taglines
She's down with beef or fish (Teresa Del Taco tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cautionary Advice on Food Choices
Taglines
Watch what you eat.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catchy Tagline from Sausage Party Character
Taglines
She's got buns, son (Brenda tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Reality and Beliefs in Sausage Party
Honey Mustard
WAKE UP! They're lying to your (Bleep) faces! THE GREAT BEYOND IS NO MORE! Why isn't anyone listening to me?!
Frank
Hey, buddy. Are you alright?
Honey Mustard
NO! I'm not alright! It's all a lie! Everything you've been told, everything you believe in...
Frank
Hey, buddy, are you all right?
Honey Mustard
No, I'm not all right! It's all a lie. Everything you've been told. Everything you believe in.
Carl
Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray!
Brenda
Carl, we shouldn't be talking to this asshole. Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird. What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like, make up your mind or just kill yourself.
Honey Mustard
You (bleep) idiots! I've been there. I've seen that shit, and there ain't no way I'm going back.
Frank
Mr. Mustard Wait, wait, you've been to the Great Beyond?
Honey Mustard
Great", my ASSHOLE! Everything we've ever known is a dirt-covered pile of shit, jacking off in our (bleep) faces, covering our eyes with their cum, so cum-covered we can't (bleep) see! We don't know! We don't know they're jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
Brenda
Dude, shut up, the gods are gonna hear you talking about them...
Honey Mustard
They ain't gods. They're monsters! Horrible, ugly, dirty, stinky, disgusting, monsters! They ain't gonna get Honey Mustard twice. (BLEEP) YOU, GOOOOOOODS! I've got a date with oblivion.
[gives the human the finger]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Among Grocery Store Characters
Lavash
Get away from me. Don't touch me. It was YOU! You cocksucking bagel ducktales!
Cereal
Hey, watch it!
Lavash
You pushed me out of the cart! No surprise there, huh? A bagel trying to kill a lavash, once again.
Sammy Bagel Jr.
I pushed YOU? What are you, nuts? Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist. The only thing I've ever pushed is my peaceful agenda which even that I didn't push, you know? I passive-aggressively nudged. I reached out in a panic. It was toots over here, the bun. she grabbed me!
Brenda
Hey, I was just trying to save Frank, before that day.
Lavash
Who is Frank? You?
Frank
Yeah, I'm Frank.
Lavash
The fault is YOURS then, huh?
Frank
I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean for any of this to happen.
Lavash
Well, it did, and now you and your stupid useless bun have (bleep) us all!
Brenda
Who are you calling useless, you flappy >BLEEP<
Lavash
Sausage, control your insolent bun. And cover her up already. Show some modesty, woman.
Brenda
UGH!
[Prepares to fight Lavash, but Sammy holds her back]
Sammy Bagel Jr.
Hey, hey. Look, can we all just, you know, calm down a notch, please? Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable. I'm Sammy Bagel Jr. You know, I'm happy to meet all of you. Except for this meshuggener cunt over here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Chaos Unfolds Over a Nozzle Mishap
Douche
No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait. Please hold up. No, don't go. Come on. I can still get up in there! I could still... get up in there. Oh, my God! MY NOZZ! MY MOTHER (bleep) NOZZ!
[rushes to the shopper]
Frank
You okay?
Brenda
I think so.
Douche
Yo, did you two do this to me?! Are you two responsible for my nozzle being irrepressibly (bleep) up?!
Frank
Whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy.
Brenda
Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry. But, you know, you should be happy you're alive.
Frank
Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off, Peanut Butter's wife is dead, look at him, he's right there!
Peanut Butter
JELLY! I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna fix this.
[wailing]
Douche
You think I give a (BLEEP) about PB (Peanut Butter) or J (Jelly)? (Bleep) this! I'm gonna kick your association. How you like them apples?
Apple
Who, us?
Douche
No, not you. Come at me, brothers.
Frank
Come at you? What does that mean?
Douche
Fine. You won't come at me? Well then, guess who's comin to you. Me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Existence as an Illusion Explored in Dialogue
Firewater
Hello there, little sausage. You and your friends have accomplished the impossible. And for that, I give you mad props. But now that you have shattered one truth, it is time for you to learn that we are not real! Booga-booga-booga!
Gum
While tripping balls, Firewater made an important metaphysical breakthrough.
Firewater
The world is a (BLEEP) illusion, bro. Our lives have been manipulated for the entertainment of monsters. Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters! Puppet masters in another dimension. We're something called... cartoons.
Frank
What?
Firewater
You, Frank, are the plaything of a demented, sloppy Jewish actor named ]'s face] Seth Ro-gan.
[throws salt into the fire; conjuring an image of [[w:Seth Rogen|Seth Rogen]
Frank
Wait, I'm Jewish?
Sammy Bagel Jr
So... who am I?
Gum
You are the toy of a more talented and celebrated actor named ]'s face] Edward Norton.
[Firewater conjures up an image of [[w:Edward Norton|Edward Norton]
Gum
Worry not, friends. I have a solution.
Gum
I have invented a stargate device that will allow us to travel to our dimension.
Firewater
(BLEEP) yeah, he did! And it's dope. This guy's smart, like, (bleep)-a-guy smart! Know what I'm saying? Yeah, you do. Anyway, we're gonna go to this other dimension, and cut the strings once and for all! Anybody want a hit before we do this?
Frank
You ready to get baked and walk through Gum's stargate with me?
Brenda
As long as we're together, I'm ready to get baked and do anything.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Excitement for Tomorrow's Big Day
Frank
Hey, Brenda. What up, girl? Sorry about those guys. Such freaking (bleep), right?
[chuckles]
Carl
Uh, I can hear you, dude.
[off-screen]
Frank
Shut up, (bleep) you. So looks like tomorrow's the big day, huh? You and me, finally gonna be official.
[turns to Carl; turns back to Brenda; chuckles]
Brenda
I'm so happy the Gods put our packages together.
Frank
It's because, we belong together.
Brenda
It's like, we were made for each other.
Frank
I can't wait just finally get up in there, just raw dog it. But full disclosure, I'm pretty nervous about this. I don't know how well, I'm gonna perform once it happens. I've obviously never been in a bun, so.
[laughs]
Brenda
Hey, I'm not gonna be any better. I've never opened up. I mean, look how tight I am.
Frank
Oh, sweet (bleep) Look, okay. I know it's against the rules. But I can't wait anymore. I need to just feel you.
Brenda
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Both Frank and Brenda
Just the tips?
Brenda
I can't believe we're doing this.
Frank
I know. We're so naughty.
[Laughs]
Brenda
But it's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's ever happened from just the tips.
Frank
No. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.
Frank & Brenda
Ah.
Frank
Ooh. Oh yeah, go in there.
Brenda
Ooh. Big tip.
Frank
Oh, you wouldn't dare.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Satisfy Your Hunger with Sausage Party
Taglines
Get Your Fill!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Seeking Help in Uncertain Times
Barry
Shit.
Krinkler's Chips
How the (BLEEP) does this thing work?
Barry
I wish this god would wake up already. How am I supposed to get back to Frank?
Gum
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
Barry
What? Who the (bleep) is that?
Toilet Paper
Oh, only the most intelligent being alive.
Gum
I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol, Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin, Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc. But for expediency's sake, you can call me... Gum. For 20 years, I was stuck underneath the desk of a brilliant scientist. I was scraped off and discarded and eventually found myself stuck to a shoe that dropped me here. Your home is a supermarket. This is but one of many as your particular chain of supermarkets is ever-expanding unified by a singular purpose to store food and products for human consumption. The supermarket in the closest physical vicinity to us is here. If the human operates his automotive, the journey should take 9.8 minutes.
Barry
Great. That last part was all you had to say, really.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Hope and Unity in Uncertain Times
Frank
You see? There is hope!
Licorice Sugar Rope
Oh, not this guy. No one asked for an encore, asshole.
Frank
No, no, don't worry. I got it this time. This time it's gonna be good. Look, I'm sorry. I wasn't respectful of your beliefs... and I acted like I had all the answers, but I don't. Nobody knows everything. But what I do know is that together we can fight these monsters... and take control of our own lives.
Brenda
Yes! Our lives and our bodies!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unity in Chaos and Uncertainty
Frank
Nobody's gonna help us.
Brenda
Then this is it.
Barry
At least we go out together.
Fat Man
(yells as he gets hit by a ladle thrown by Lavash, with comic text Ding! was shown.) OW! What the...?
Lavash
You (bleep) with them...
Sammy Bagel Jr.
You (bleep) with us, bitch. (Lavash keeps throwing ladles at the fat man.) Run, guys! We're out of ladles.
Gum
Hop on, y'all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Encounter with a Magical Sausage
Druggie
What the heck?
[seeing Barry walk]
Barry
Uh... hello?
Barry
Please don't kill me, please just, just wait!
Druggie
What are you? Are you some kind of... magical sausage?
[pokes Barry]
Barry
Uh, yeah, uh, no, oh, no, I'm just Barry, I'm just Barry! Wait! Wait, you can actually understand me? And I can actually understand you?
Druggie
Whoa, the bath salts are showing me the real world. It's (BLEEP) lifted the veil of non-reality!
Krinkler's Chips
Holy Meatballs! He can actually see us?!
Druggie
Bath salts are just as bad as they said it would be! Oh! I'm tweaked! I'M TWEAKING, AAH!
Barry
Whoa, whoa, whoa, dude, dude, dude, just take it easy, just breathe, dude, just breathe. You're not tweaking, you're just peaking, man, just be with me. Be cool. This wave's gotta crash.
Druggie
I can't! You're all alive and looking at me with your... With your gloves and your, your, your little shoes and your arms and your legs!
Pizza
Legs, huh?! Look at me! Look at me! I ain't got no legs, you (bleep)! You ate my goddamn legs!
Druggie
Oh No, not Mr. Pizza! No! I've eaten so many of your family members! I've committed pizza genocide! Mr. Sausage, when will it end?!
Beer Can
When will it end? When he stops drinking us!
Krinkler's Chips and Ticklish Licorice
Yeah!
Cookies
And stops eating us!
Sandwich
Same here!
Pop Tart
(BLEEP) yeah!
Toilet Paper
And when he stops using us!
Krinkler's Chips
What did he do to you?
Toilet Paper
You don't wanna (BLEEP) know.
[nervously backs away]
Druggie
Okay! Okay. Look, I promise. I'll never eat food again, I'll just... so I'll just eat dirt! Wipe my ass with sticks!
Barry
Good. And there's one more thing you're gonna do. Take.... me.... home.
[points to the Shopwell's bag]
Druggie
You got it. I just need to rest my eyes for a few...
[falls asleep]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Macerated and Educated: A Unique Perspective
Taglines
Macerated and educated (Gum tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Character Reflection on a Douche's Nature
Taglines
He's a real douche (Douche tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Food's Disgusting Nature Revealed
Taglines
Your Food is Revolting.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Truth Behind Food's Existence
Frank
Um, friends, ramen, Country Club Lemonade.
[Ramen look at each other and shrug]
Country Club Lemonade Can
Huh?
Frank
Lend me your ears...o-of corn.
Frank
I'm Frank, a-and I'm a sausage. A little sausage with some pretty big news. Everything we've been led to believe is a lie! When we're chosen by the gods, they're choosing us for death! Murder! Automatic expiration! The Great Beyond is bogus.
Curry Paste
WHAT?!
Chunk Munchers Cereal
That's crazy talk!
Lettuce
You liar!
Frank
I know you don't wanna believe it, but I have proof!
[shows the page from the cookbook, depicting a graphic image of a hot dog being eaten]
Licorice Rope
What is this!?
Relish
It's... It's murder!
Sammy Bagel Jr.
Th-this, makes no sense!
Lavash
W-what, what about the extra virgin olive oil?! My flaps will be dry for an eternity! I can't have dry flaps! I can't!
[ululates, the other items on the Halal shelf join in; on the Kosher shelf, the food items have turned and are presumed praying, as if they were at the Western Wall]
Frank
Okay, whoa, whoa, easy, guys, easy, look, I have a plan! We can run!
Ice Cream
I can't run! I'll melt!
Frank
Okay, uh-uh, then, then, uh, we'll hide!
Bag of Dog Food
Where? I'm huge.
Frank
Then we'll fight for!
Peanut
I ain't fightin alongside a bunch of fruits!
Watermelon
Whatever, you nutjob.
Curry Paste
So, we cannot run, we cannot hide, and we cannot stand up to them because they're almighty gods, and they're immortal! So, basically, there's no hope, and we're royally (BLEEP)!
Chunk Munchers Cereal
Hey, guys! You wanna believe that? Or this?
[referring to cookbook page; A Honey Drippers cereal box around turns around, revealing two kids holding up a happy box of the cereal]
Watermelon
I don't like bad things.
Apple
Me either!
Curry Paste
We choose the more pleasant thing!
Ice Cream
Yeah, I mean, what this sausage is saying, it's just, uh...a theory!
Frank
No, no, no, it's not a theory, you morons. It's a fact! I'm showing you physical evidence. Open your (bleep) eyes. Don't be so weak.
Brenda
Oh, Frank, what are you doing?
Refried Beans
You, señor have no bedside manner!
Frank
What, I have bedside manner!
Frozen Fruitz
You don't respect anyone else's beliefs!
Sauerkraut
You intolerant piece of shit!
Frank
No, it's starting! No.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Meeting in the Cave
Firewater
Hi ya. How are ya?
Frank
Hi ya. How are ya? Uh, I'm Frank. Are you... Firewater?
Firewater
Mmm-hmm.
Frank
What are you doing in this cave?
Firewater
I am the original inhabitant of this land. My kind once had a pristine aisle, majestic and untouched. Then we were driven out of it... by a bunch of god darn (BLEEP) crackers!
Frank
Oh, yeah. The crackers. They do have a nice aisle. Okay, anyway, look, I was told that you might have some answers.
Firewater
Answers I have, but first... I must know the question.
[throws salt into the fire, conjuring an image of a question mark]
Frank
Okay, well, before I saw him jump to his death, Honey Mustard said that the Great Beyond is no more and the gods are monsters, and I always kinda thought that it didn't quite add up. So, I guess my question is what really happens in the Great Beyond?
Firewater
To find that which you seek, all you must do is look deep... into my Bag of Wonderment.
[after smoking a hit in a kazoo; pulls out a large sack]
Frank
Whoa.... I don't see anything.
[looks into the bag]
Firewater
Deeper, deeper, deeper... Put your whole head in the bag there. There you go.
[Frank leans closer into the bag]
Frank
Just say when, I'm just gonna keep going in.
Firewater
Guys, get out here! Help me kill this prick!
Mr. Grits
Darn, this mother's day knows too much! We get off his association!
Firewater
Someone hand me a blade! I'll gut this cocksucker!
Twink
No! If we kill him, we are no better than the gods!
Firewater
Oh, he's right. Take off the Bag of Wonderment.
[Frank is released from the bag]
Frank
Who are you?
Mr. Grits
We the "Noon" perishables, mother's day.
Twink
We never expire.
Firewater
We are.... immortal. This here's my friends are Twink. And Grits.
Mr. Grits
They call me Mr. Grits.
Firewater
Yeah, Mr. Grits. Whatever.
Mr. Grits
You told him about the crackers?
Firewater
Yeah, I told him about the crackers. You don't even wanna hear what they did to Mr. Grits over here.
[to Frank; shudders]
Mr. Grits
(bleep) the crackers. I'm gonna (bleep) them crackers right in the crack of they cracker asses. Cracker ass crackers...
Frank
Why were you gonna kill me? I mean, all I did was... what happens in the Great Beyond! Geez! What's the big whoop?
Mr. Grits
We can't tell this sausages assembly mother's day the truth. We just met his association.
Twink
He basically knows it already. Maybe it's... it's time to end this.
Firewater
I am tired of all the lies. Prepare yourself, for you're about to learn... the terrible truth. Does anybody wanna hit before we get into this? Twink?
Twink
Nah, I'm cool.
Mr. Grits
Choo, if we smokin', I'll hit it.
Firewater
That's what I thought.
Mr. Grits
Pass the weed, mother's day. Goddamn. Whoo, whoo! This indica?
[takes a hit of Sativa; coughs twice]
Firewater
Nah, man. Sativa! It's good shit. Clean high.
Frank
Oh, no thanks.
[Mr. Grits hands him the kazoo]
Firewater
Trust me. What's you're about to hear, you'll want some.
[Frank gulps and takes a big hit of Sativa and coughs nonstop]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Surreal Encounter of Food Characters
Douche
Look, sausage, I relish the fact that you mustard the strength to ketchup to me! Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths. I sucked a juicy box's dick, and I'm shoved up a god's asshole, and this is the weirdest thing that I've done so far, bro!
[Relish, Mustard and Ketchup whimper in the corner in sheer terror; laughs madly]
Brenda
Oh, my God! Frank!
Douche
I'll tell you who eats shit! Gods do, bro! "I'M A (BLEEP) GOD!!!
Darren
Goodbye, little sausage.
[last words before his death; Aims his magnum at Frank, preparing to shoot him]
Brenda
Oh, Frank!
Teresa
Hey, bun. Need a boost?
Frank
Help me!
Gum
Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
Gum
Matter cannot be created or destroyed, human. You have made a fatal error in judgment. Let me educate you.
Douche
(BLEEP) What's happening out there?!
[Frank kicks Douche's eyes with his feet and he jumps. Brenda is able to swing him to safety onto the 4th of July sale shelf. Darren sees Barry on the cart that is currently speeding towards him as he fires at Barry, who dodges the bullet in a Matrix style. The cart hits Darren, which traps him inside the trash can and latest words before his death]
Barry
Now!
[Various foods set up a bunch of boards in a curved direction to turn the cart onto a designated path]
Coconut Milk
So long, asshole!
[The cart then passes by Sammy Bagel Jr. and Kareem Abdul Lavash, who are holding matches to ignite the propane tanks, which causes the cart to then blast off as a couple of food items then set up a ramp which sends the cart flying through the roof of Shopwell's and into the sky. There, the propane tanks detonate into fireworks, which kills Darren and Douche, causing blood to drop from the sky. The foods in the store cheer after witnessing the death of Darren and Douche. An eyeball lands in the peanut aisle.]
Peanut
Yeah!
[While holding one of Darren's eyeballs in victory]
Barry
It's over. We won. We (BLEEP) won!
[laughs triumphantly]
Tampon
Ew.
[as she steps into a drop of Darren's blood, causing her to bulk up due to absorbing a lot of the blood, and roars victoriously]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Catchy Phrase from Sausage Party Character
Taglines
Wrap that ass (Kareem Abdul Lavash)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discovery of the Great Beyond Explained
Firewater
It's good shit, isn't it?
Frank
Okay, okay, I'm super baked, and my friends are probably wondering where the (bleep) I am. Will somebody please just tell me something already?
[coughs]
Firewater
Okay. The thing about the Great Beyond is... We invented it!
[Takes a hit of Sativa from the Kazoo; blows]
Frank
What?!
Firewater
I know, right? As soon as you're out those doors, the gods kill our assembly.
Frank
What are you, crazy? That doesn't make any sense! Why would the gods wanna kill us? It makes no sense.
Firewater
Uh, because it makes them stronger. Every kill gives em power and it's never enough. Over the years, they've grown bigger, stronger, fatter. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy! I mean, ].
[[VeggieTales]
Frank
You guys are (bleep) nuts. How much of that stuff have you been smoking? Too (bleep) much is how much.
Firewater
We blaze for real, 24/7, no joke, but we also know our shit. Before us, everyone knew the awful truth. Oh, how they screamed. It was a living nightmare. So we, the Nonperishables, created a story: the story of the Great Beyond, a place where the gods care for you and all your wildest and wettest dreams would come true. They would go out those doors happy, instead of shiftting themselves.
Frank
Wait, wait. So, you're telling me you wrote the song?
Firewater
I can't take full credit. I wrote the music. Twink here is my lyricist. We both drop it right and drop it all the time. Boom! The melody came to me one night, when I was getting super, super, super baked, like kick-a-guy baked. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, he does. The song had a great hook, it caught on, you know. In time, everyone accepted this false truth. But over the years, things started to get a little... (bleep). The aisles started changing my verses to support their own views. (BLEEP) with Twink's tight-ass lyrics, remixing my stuff without my permish. Now, every morning, when I hear the song, I'm like: "What the (bleep) are you guys saying? I mean, wasn't there a part today about exterminating juice? I didn't write that shit! I love juice! Always have! Juice are hilarious! Who do these guys think they are?!" Anyway, at least it's distracting them from the truth: that they get brutally devoured.
Frank
So that means Carl & Barry are dead?
Firewater
I don't know who those dudes are, but if they went out those doors?
Grits
Dead as a mother (bleep).
[smoking Sativa from the pipe; coughs; coughs twice]
Frank
Oh, God. If what you're saying is true, I-I gotta tell everybody.
Firewater
Very noble, little sausage. But also, very pointless. No one will believe you.
Frank
I have to try. Everyone will die otherwise.
Firewater
Huh yeah, that's a good point. ]
[[Superbad|(BLEEP) me, right?]
Frank
Wait! You guys have any proof of this?
Twink
Go to the dark aisle, beyond the ice.
Frank
Why? What's in that aisle?
Twink
Oh, you'll see. But I warn you: Once you see that shit, it'll (bleep) you up for life. Good luck! Have fun!
[Kisses Frank on the lips and runs off laughing]
Firewater
Hey, Grits, pack another bowl, will ya? I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desperation in a Food Aisle Crisis
Douche
Oh, no. Bro! Douche down! I'm out of my box!
Chicken Noodle Soup
(While he got ripped his gut) Cream of Mushroom? Are you there?
Peanut Butter
Wake up! I'm nothing without you! (Crying for his wife.)
Brenda
Get up! We gotta go!
Brenda
Frank! Move your (bleep) jackass!
Various foods
Help! Half a moon!
Prune
Oh my God!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Surreal Encounter with a Talking Douche
Darren
Wait, snap out of it, man! Slap it, slap yourself in the face, man! Oh, man, you lost your mind, is this even, no way, this isn't real now this can't be real.
Douche
Oh, it's real, bro.
Darren
A talking douche!
[gasps in horror]
Douche
It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?
Darren
No, no, no, this is too much! This is too much. It's too much, breathe, man!
Douche
We both want the same thing. Like, I'm feeling honestly the two of us could like collaborate together like a mashup, bro.
Darren
A mashup? I-I don't understand. What's happening?
Douche
You don't need to understand. You just need to relax and open wide.
[Douche unzips Darren's zipper and goes inside his pants.]
Darren
Wait, what are you, what are you doing?!
Douche
Oh, yeah!
Darren
Dude, that went up my ass!
Douche
Now, stand up!
[laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Condiments in Life
Taglines
Always use condiments (Honey Mustard tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebration and Excitement in Sausage Party
Taglines
Mazel Tov! (Barry tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Humorous observation on expressions and reactions
Taglines
Check out his "O" face (Sammy Bagel tagline)
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.