21 quotes
Confrontation and Humor in Toronto
Julie
So, uh, you guys doing anything fun while you're in town?
[changing the subject]
Todd
Fun"? In Toronto?
Envy
Ha!
Scott
THAT'S IT! YOU COCKY COCK! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity! My neck. Your hair.
[angrily; slams fists on table as Envy gasps in horror; lunges to attack Todd but is frozen by psychic energy. Todd, eyes glowing and hair standing on end, levitates Scott into the air; gasping; stunned]
Envy
Didn't you know? Todd's vegan.
Scott
Vegan?
[coughs]
Todd
It's not really that big of a deal.
[psychically moves couch out of the way; kicks and breaks off part of the brick wall]
Scott
No kidding. Anyone can be vegan.
[coughs and stands up]
Todd
Ovo-lacto-vegetarian, maybe.
Scott
Ovo-what?
Todd
I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum of any creature with a face.
Envy
Short answer: Being vegan just makes you better than most people.
Todd
Bingo.
[punches Scott and sends him, screaming, leaving a trail of A's high into the air and out of sight.]
Stephen
Hey, man, question. I always wondered, how does not eating dairy products give you psychic powers?
Todd
Okay, you know how you only use 10% of your brain? That's because the other 90% is filled with curds and whey.
Kim
Did you learn that at Vegan Academy?
[deadpan]
Todd
Go ahead and get snippy, baby. If you knew the science, maybe I'd listen to a word you're saying.
[annoyed]
Scott
If I peed my pants, would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?
[weakly]
Ramona
It's not raining.
Scott
Oh. Then, why don't you give me the Cliff Notes on how and why you ended up dating this A-hole.
Ramona
Is it really important right now?
Scott
Well, if there's a key element in his backstory that's gonna help me out in a critical moment of not dying, yes.
Ramona
I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by. Guess that's not very nice, but I used to be kind of...like that. We hated everyone, we wrecked stuff, nobody cared. He punched a hole in the moon for me. It was pretty crazy. A week-and-a-half later, he told me his dad was sending him to Vegan Academy, so, I dumped him.
[looking defeated]
Scott
Have you dumped everyone you've ever been with? You've never been the dumpee?
Ramona
Look, I've dabbled in being a bitch. It's part of the reason I moved here. I was really hoping to just...leave it all behind me.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Complexity of Life and Death
Scott
Oh, man.
[after being fatally stabbed in the heart and killed by Gideon; moaning]
Ramona
Sorry. Dying's got to suck.
Scott
You know what sucks? Getting killed by that guy. Why him?
Ramona
It's complicated.
Scott
Well, I'm not going anywhere, so... now might be a good time to get into it.
Ramona
Truth is...it was me who was obsessed. I was crazy about him. But he ignored me. I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own. That's why I had to leave. And that's when he started paying attention.
Scott
So, why go back?
Ramona
I can't help myself around him, Scott; He just...has this way of getting into my head.
Scott
Well, that's legitimately disappointing. I really will leave you alone forever now.
Ramona
No, he literally has a way of getting into my head.
[shows chip on the back of her neck]
Scott
That is evil.
[shocked]
Ramona
I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this, Scott. I just wanted something simple. I'm sorry it had to end this way.
Scott
Well, I really fought for you.
Ramona
Maybe I'm not the one you should have been fighting for.
[turns to dust]
Scott
What? But-- But-- I feel like I learned something. Which would be great if I wasn't dead. So-- So alone.
[saddened; collapses to his knees in despair]
Ramona
You're not alone.
Scott
Right! Your hair looks stupid.
[notices a video game 1-UP; determined; uses 1-UP to revive and re-enters the Chaos Theatre from the beginning.; to one of Gideon's goons; Goon gasps in shock and turns into coins, earning Scott Pilgrim 700 points. Two goons block the elevator]
Right Goon
Second password?
[Scott defeats both of them, earning 700 points each, and goes down the elevator.]
Comeau
I mean, I saw it. It's just the comic book is better than the movie. Hello.
[chatting to partygoers.; notices Scott; Scott barges past him, earning 350 points per person, to the stage where Sex Bob-Omb, as before, notice Scott and stop playing]
Stephen
Scott! Let it go.
Scott
Don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Stephen, the new line-up rocks. You guys sound way better without me. Young Neil, you have learned well. From this point forward, you will be known as... Neil.
Neil
Ohh.
[pleasurably]
Scott
And Kim... I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry about me.
[Kim raises an eyebrow; surprised, Kim smiles at him for the first time]
Gideon
Scott Pilgrim! Hey, buddy!
[from the other side of the club]
Scott
Save it! You're pretentious. This club sucks. I've got beef. Let's do it.
[charges toward Gideon]
Gideon
Wait, wait, w-w-wait! You wanna fight me... for her?
[Scott stops running]
Scott
No. I want to fight you for me.
[falters back]
Narrator Voice
Scott earned the Power of Self-Respect.
Gideon
Umm--
[confused]
Scott
KIM!
Kim
WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB AND WE ARE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN!!!! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!!!!
[extremely enthusiastically; Sex Bob-Omb starts playing a faster upbeat rock song]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning Past Relationships and Their Impact
Ramona
We really don't have to go to this thing. It'll probably be a bad scene all around.
Scott
No, I'm fine. It's just--
Ramona
It's just"?
Scott
Well...have you ever dated someone that wasn't a total ass?
Ramona
Well, so far, you're not a total ass.
Scott
But I'm part ass?
Ramona
If it makes you feel better, you're the nicest guy I've dated.
Scott
Wait, is that good?
Ramona
It's what I need right now.
Scott
But not later?
Ramona
Scott, I don't have all the answers, okay? I'd just like to try and live in the moment if I can.
Scott
I'd just like to live.
[he and Ramona arrive at The Clash at Demonhead's after-party.]
Ramona
Look, I know Todd was bad news, but are you saying Envy wasn't? We all have baggage.
Scott
Yeah, well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes. What did you do to make your ex-boyfriends so insane?
Ramona
Exes.
Scott
Whatever.
Ramona
No breakup is painless; somebody always gets hurt. What about you and that girl, Knives? Who broke up with who?
Scott
I believe I broke up with her.
Ramona
And was she cool with that?
Scott
Knives is with Young Neil now; she's totally cool with it.
Ramona
You're sure about that?
Scott
Yeah, she's very mature for her age. We had a very healthy break-up. We're all peaches and gravy.
Knives
No!
[whines; echoing]
Ramona
What about you and Kim?
Scott
Me and Kim? I can barely remember. It was high school. She had freckles.
Ramona
That's it?
Scott
Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
Ramona
That's really the whole story?
Scott
Okay, fine. I had to fight a guy to be with her, okay? I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall, purple-suited dude, and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him. He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay? And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the Earth. Does that make you feel any better?
Ramona
Well, now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
Scott
I'm sorry; I'm not usually like this.
Ramona
Hey, don't worry. I don't even know what I'm like anymore.
Scott
I think this "ex-boyfriends" thing is messing with my head.
[rubbing his eyes]
Ramona
Exes.
Scott
Why do you keep saying that? The girl from earlier?
[gets kicked in the face from behind, slams into the bar counter and falls flat on the floor. He looks up at his attacker.; stands up, thinking]
Ramona
Roxy?
Scott
You know this girl?
Roxy
Oh, boy, does she know me.
Scott
What is she talking about?
[deeply confused]
Roxy Richter
He really doesn't know?
Scott
Wait.
[realisation dawning]
Roxy
Hmm.
[smiles suggestively]
Scott
You and her?!
[to Ramona; shocked]
Ramona
It was just a phase.
Roxy
Just a phase"?
[incensed]
Scott
You had a sexy phase?
Ramona
It meant nothing. I didn't think it would count.
Roxy
It meant nothing"?!
[angrily]
Ramona
I was just a little bi-curious.
Roxy
Well, honey... I'm a little bi-FURIOUS!
[cracks knuckles; performs a slow-mo spinning kick aimed at Scott but is blocked by Ramona. A pink VS. sign appears between them and Ramona throws Roxy back.]
Ramona
Do that again, and I will end you!
Roxy
Back off, has-bian! If Gideon can't have you, no one can! The League has spoken!
[whips off her belt, which turns into a chain-sword.]
Ramona
Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here, cause I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North!
[pulls a massive stone hammer out of her purse]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
After-Party Uncertainty Among Friends
Stephen
We're still going to the after-party, right?
Kim
I'm not sure there's going to be much of a party. I think a third of the band just went poom.
Stephen
Yeah, cool bands never go to their own after-parties. Just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with the label guys.
Kim
Then why would we--? Oh.
[realizing]
Stephen
Neil, you down? Scott, you're in, right?
[to Neil; to Scott]
Ramona
You want to go?
Scott
Well...I kind of almost died back there.
Ramona
I'm not saying I want to go.
Scott
Yeah, we can totally go.
Ramona
I'll do whatever you want to do.
Scott
So, let's go.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Conflict of Feelings and Loyalties
Knives
Go get her.
Scott
What?
[shocked]
Knives
You've been fighting for her all along.
Scott
But what about you?
Knives
I'll be fine. I'm too cool for you anyway.
[chuckles and kisses Scott's cheek.]
Scott
Ciao, Knives.
[hesitantly]
Knives
Go.
[encouragingly]
Scott
Hey! Hey. Mind if I tag along?
[to Ramona]
Ramona
You want to come with me?
Scott
Yeah. I thought maybe we could try again.
[takes Ramona's hand and they walk through a door with a star on it, and the door closes]
Video Game Announcer
Continue? 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acknowledging Friendship Amidst Breakup and Music
Kim
Where's Knives? Not coming tonight?
Scott
No, we broke up. Hey, check it out. I learned the bass line from ].
[[w:Final Fantasy II|Final Fantasy II; strums "Final Fantasy II" bass line.]
Kim
Scott, you are the salt of the Earth.
Scott
Oh, thanks.
[obliviously]
Kim
I meant, "Scum of the Earth.
Scott
Thanks.
[obliviously]
Young Neil
You broke up with Knives?
Scott
Yeah. But don't worry. Maybe soon, you'll meet my new-new girlfriend.
Young Neil
New-new"?
Stephen
Okay. From here on out, no girlfriends or girlfriend talk at practice, whether they're old, new, or new-new.
Young Neil
New-new.
[at the same time as Stephen]
Stephen
We were lucky to survive the last round. It's sudden death now, okay?
Scott
Okay. That's for me! That's for me, that's for me. Hey, you're here.
[he and Sex Bob-Omb play "Summertime," but a doorbell ringing interrupts him; excited; opens door from Ramona; notices Ramona's hair is blue.]
Ramona
Yes, like you said.
[Ramona enters and Scott closes the door.]
Scott
You know your hair?
Ramona
I know of it.
Scott
It's all blue.
Ramona
I change my hair every week-and-a-half, dude. Get used to it. So...how do you guys all know each other?
[Scott stares at Ramona's hair]
Young Neil
Um, high school, I guess.
Stephen
What Neil said.
Young Neil
I'm Neil.
[introducing himself]
Kim
Believe it or not, I actually dated Scott in high school.
[to Ramona, sarcastically smiling]
Ramona
Oh, got any embarrassing stories?
Kim
Yeah. He's an idiot.
[chuckles; smile disappears; seriously]
Scott
Okay, bye. See you guys tomorrow.
[puts on hat]
Stephen
What about rehearsal?
Scott
Neil knows my parts.
[he and Ramona leave]
Young Neil
I'm Neil.
[Kim and Stephen stare at him]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Summer Challenge Awaits in Donkey Kong Style
Taglines
This summer it's on like Donkey Kong.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Introduction to the League of Evil Exes
Lucas
Prepare-- Prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes.
[rips off part of set]
Scott
The League of Evil Exes?
Lucas
You really don't know about the League?
Scott
Um...
Lucas
The Seven Evil Exes? Coming to kill you? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?
Scott
No.
Lucas
Oh. Well, hey, listen, man. Don't worry about it.
Scott
Really?
[stunned]
Lucas
Yeah. Let's go get a beer.
[reaches to help him up]
Scott
That's great.
Lucas
BOOM! OOH!
[punches Scott in the face; laughs]
Scott
You are a pretty good actor.
Lucas
I'm going for the Oscar this year.
Scott
But are you a pretty good skater?
Lucas
I'm more than pretty good, Esé. I have my own skate company.
[pulls his shirt collar down to reveal a double-L tattoo on his chest]
Scott
But can you do a thingy...on that rail?
[indicates railing on a set of steps]
Lucas
It's called a grind, bro.
Scott
So, can you do a grindy thingy now?
Lucas
Are you serious? There are, like, 200 steps, and the rails are garbage.
Scott
Well, hey, if it's too hardcore, then--
[innocent]
Lucas
You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that?
[glaring]
Scott
There are girls watching.
[deadpan]
Lucas
Somebody get me my board.
[looks at his fans, and back at Scott; beat]
Wallace
Hi. Big fan.
[pops into view, taps Lucas on shoulder; passes him his skateboard]
Lucas Lee
Why wouldn't you be?
[cracks neck; his last words; starts his run, hopping from rail to rail, picking up speed, by kilometers]
Scott
Wow. Wow. Wow.
[watching; Lucas' kilometer speed increases rapidly; Lucas is now going dangerously fast, the bottom of the rail in sight; going too fast to stop, Lucas reaches the bottom of the steps at 309 kilometers, and explodes into coins]
Wallace
Wow.
Scott
Yes!
Wallace
He totally bailed.
Scott
Ah! I didn't get his autograph.
[realizing]
Wallace
No.
Director
And that's a wrap, everybody.
Scott
Hey, where's Ramona? Is she still here?
[doesn't see Ramona]
Wallace
No, she totally bailed.
[he also doesn't see Ramona]
Scott
What's the deal? Seriously.
Director
Okay, let's get everybody out of here. Let's move, people, the sun is coming up.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Jealousy and Judgment in Relationships
Knives
OH, MY GOD! He's dating a fatass hipster chick! I hate her stupid guts! He only likes her because she's old! She's probably, like, 25! Oh, she's just some fatass white girl, you know?!
[buying blue hair dye from a drugstore while explaining her situation to Tamara Chen]
Tamara Chen
I think you mentioned she was fat.
Knives
She's got a head start. I mean, I didn't know there was good music until, like, two months ago! Hey, this really burns.
[preparing to dye her hair]
Tamara Chen
You should rinse.
Knives
When I got this idea, I just thought, "I have to do it!
[rinsing her hair]
Tamara Chen
I can't hear anything you're saying.
Knives
Oh, God! I look so...good. Ramona Flowers stole my Scott, but I know how to get him back.
[looking at her hair in the mirror]
Tamara Chen
How?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict and Tension Among Relationships
Scott
How's it going back there?
[landing]
Gideon
You... dick!
[slumps, earning Scott 7,000 points]
Scott
Knives? I know you're in here. Don't attack Ramona.
[calling]
Knives
SCOTT!!! Steal my boyfriend, taste my steel!
[They turn just as Knives flying-kicks Ramona in the head, knocking her to the ground, and unknowingly breaks the chip on the back of her head; twirls sai; lunges to attack Ramona, but Scott blocks her]
Scott
Enough!
Knives
No, Scott! This fat-ass hurt me, and I will have my revenge!
[kicks Scott in the neck]
Scott
No, Knives, I hurt you. I cheated on you. I cheated on both of you. I'm really sorry. And you're not a fat-ass. She didn't mean that. So, are we all good?
[Scott turns to each of the girls. Ramona gets up.; turns to Ramona]
Ramona
Never felt better.
[relieved]
Gideon
Yoo-hoo! Are we done with the hugging and the learning? I thought we had a fight going on here!
[they all turn to Gideon, who is standing directly behind them; puts a new piece of gum in his mouth]
Scott
Oh, you've got a fight, all right.
[prepares himself, and a VS. sign appears between him and Gideon]
Gideon
Wrong move, baby. You made me swallow my gum. It's gonna be in my digestive tract for 7 YEARS! Yeah. Still my girl.
[Gideon summons an 8-bit pixelated katana, and they begin to fight. Scott blocks Gideon's swings, and Scott falls to the floor. Gideon almost kills Scott with his pixelated katana, but Knives blocks and forces Gideon back, causing him to swallow his gum. "2 Player Mode" appears.; adjusts his glasses.; Scott and Knives fight Gideon, but Gideon kicks Knives off, and Gideon and Scott continue to fight; Scott slashes Gideon's cheek, earning 3,500 points, but Gideon breaks Scott's sword; to Ramona; Ramona puts her arms around him, and Scott looks up nearly heartbroken.]
Ramona
Let's both be girls.
[knees Gideon in the groin causing him to scream in pain. Knives steals the pixelated katana, and Gideon angrily slaps Ramona]
Announcer
Bad! Bad! Bad!
[Ramona falls to the floor; Gideon kicks Ramona down the stairs.]
Gideon
What?
[cockily]
Announcer
Get ready! Here we go! Good! Good! Good! Combo! Perfect!
[Gideon's cocky smile disappears; Scott and Knives charge toward Gideon and beat him up.; Scott grabs Gideon by the tie, flips him upside-down, and Knives kicks him.; Gideon is flipped around and is gravely wounded, as he flashes and glitches angrily.]
Gideon
Who do you think you are, Pilgrim? You think you're better than me? I'll tell you what you are. A pain in my ASS!! Do you know how long it took to get all the evil exes contact information so I could form this stupid League? Like, two hours! TWO HOURS! You're not cool enough for Ramona. You're zero. You're nothing! Me, I'M what's hip! I'M what's happening! I'M blowing up right now!
[voice distorted; coughs and hacks out coin]
Scott
You are blowing up. RIGHT NOW!
[drop-kicks Gideon in the head]
Narrator Voice
K.O.!
Kim
There goes our deal.
[deadpan]
Stephen
We're still getting paid, right?
Kim
There goes our deal.
Neil
Oh.
Stephen
Oh, God!
[panicked]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Casual Reunion Among Friends
Todd Ingram
Hey, Ramona.
[to Ramona]
Ramona
Hey, Todd.
Todd
It's been a while.
Ramona
Mmm-hmm.
Todd
Mmm-hmm?
Ramona
I think we should get out of here.
[to Scott]
Julie
So how was the tour? You guys play with the Pixies? You're like a superstar now.
Envy
Yeah, it's, uh, not really something I can put into words.
Knives
Um, Envy... I read your blog.
[everyone glares at her]
Envy
So, Scott and Ramona, eh?
Ramona
What of it?
Envy
You guys make a cute couple you know. Suit each other.
[Todd scoffs]
Knives
You're my role model, Envy.
[pleasurably]
Envy
Ramona, I like your outfit. Affordable?
Julie
Envy, I was just gonna say, did you get those jeans in New York?
[interrupts]
Envy
I'm talking to Ramona right now.
[stops Julie, not wanting to explode]
Julie
Ramona lived in New York.
Envy
Oh, did she? I was just there. Played the Chaos Theater for Gideon. You know him, right?
Knives
I've kissed lips that kissed you!
[gasps in horror and everyone looks at her; to Envy]
Scott
Knives!
[stands up, horrified]
Todd
What? I'm not afraid to hit a girl. I'm a rock star.
[nonchalant]
Young Neil
Oh, my God. You punched the highlights out of her hair. He punched the highlights out of her hair!
[shocked; glares at Todd, angrily; to Scott; worried]
Envy
You are incorrigible.
Todd
I don't know the meaning of the word.
Caption
HE REALLY DOESN'T.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vegan Police Enforce Dietary Violations
Vegan Police Officer #1
Freeze! Vegan Police!
Vegan Police Officer #2
Vegan Police!
Vegan Police Officer #1
Todd Ingram, you're under arrest for Veganity Violation Code Number 827: Imbibement of half-and-half.
Todd
Wh--? That's bullroar!
Vegan Police Officer #1
No vegan diet, no vegan powers!
Todd
But-but I-- It's only my first offence. D-Don't I get three strikes? I mean--
Vegan Police Officer #1
Take it.
[to Vegan Police Officer #2]
Vegan Police Officer #2
At 12:27 am, on February 1st, you knowingly ingested gelato.
[whips out notepad]
Todd
Gelato isn't vegan?
Vegan Police Officer #1
It's milk and eggs, bitch.
Vegan Police Officer #2
On April 4th, 7:30 pm, you partook a plate of chicken Parmesan.
[still reading]
Todd
Chicken isn't vegan?
[feeble]
Vegan Police Officer #1
The De-Veganizing Ray. Hit him!!
[both fire De-Veganizing Rays at Todd, stripping him of his powers. Scott tosses his coffee cup behind him, and the Vegan Police Officers step back and blow smoke from their De-Veganizing Rays as Scott steps forward purposefully. Todd's hair sags.]
Envy
Oh, my God.
[gasps]
Todd
No. No...
[shocked]
Scott
You once were a ve-gone, but now you will be gone.
Todd
Ve-gone"?
[incredulous; his last words]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Mortality Through Music and Art
Scott Pilgrim
We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Advice in a Tense Situation
Scott
Wallace?
Wallace
Uh-huh?
Scott
This is happening, right?
Wallace
Oh, yeah. Kick her in the balls!
[yelling]
Roxy
I'm sending you back to Gideon in a thousand pieces, you slag! Ha!
[throws the hammer out of the window; people outside yell in shock; turns around, Ramona axe-kicks her in the head and she falls to the floor.]
Ramona
I'd rather be dead than go back. He's a creep, you're a bitch, and you all deserve each other.
Roxy
Give it a rest, Ramona; This is a League game.
Ramona
Meaning?
Roxy
Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists!
[stands up]
Scott
Uh, I don't think I can hit a girl. They're soft.
[nervous]
Ramona
You don't have a choice.
Roxy
Fight your own battles, lazy ass! Lazy ass! Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey, some sooner than others. Your BF's about to get F'd in the B!
[vanishes; seven seconds later; re-materializes, forcing Scott and Ramona apart, and punches Scott into the rafters. He falls and lands in a pile on the ground.; raises her leg in an axe kick; brings her leg down in slow-mo]
Ramona
Her weak point's the back of her knees.
[voice slowed down]
Scott
Wait, how does that work?
[voice slowed down]
Ramona
Whenever we were making out, I would just--
[voice slowed down]
Scott
Okay, enough!
[voice slowed down]
Roxy
You'll never... be able to do this... to heeerrr!!!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation in the Chaos Theatre
Stephen
Scott! Let it go. Don't give him the satisfaction.
[notices Scott]
Scott
What if I want the satisfaction?
Gideon
Scott Pilgrim! He-hey! Buddy, welcome to the Chaos Theatre. Somebody, get this man a drink. A ], right?
[[w:Coca-Cola Zero Sugar|Coke Zero]
Scott
I'm not here to drink.
[knocks drink away]
Gideon
Whoa. I've got no beef with you.
Scott
Well, what if I have a beef...with you?
[angrily]
Gideon
Are you still mad about the whole thing with The Guild?
Scott
You mean The League?
Gideon
The Guild, League, whatever. It's ancient history.
Scott
I'll show you how ancient of history it is!
[charges at Gideon]
Gideon
Wait, wait, w-w-wait! There's no use crying over spilt Coke, buddy. The lady made her choice, and we're all just gonna have to...move on.
[Scott stops running]
Scott
Well, I ain't movin', buddy.
Gideon
You wanna fight me... for her?
Scott
Was that not clear? Was that not clear?
[arch; to the members of Sex Bob-Omb]
Sex Bob-Omb
I don't know.
[they shrug]
Gideons
Now, why on Earth... would you want to do... that?
Scott
Because I'm in love with her.
[gasps and falters back]
Narrator Voice
Scott earned the Power of Love.
Gideon
Aw, I think this deserves a song. Kimberley!!
Kim
We are Sex Bob-Omb. We are here to make money and sell out and stuff. One-two-three-four!
[unenthusiastically, subtly flipping off Gideon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
An Epic Tale of Extraordinary Adventure
Taglines
An epic of epic epicness.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Defeating Inner Demons in Scott Pilgrim
Ramona
You two make a good combo.
[gets up and sees Scott and Knives walking down the stairs]
Scott
Yeah?
[happily]
Ramona
Yeah.
Gideon's Voice
Scott Pilgrim. You can defeat me, Scott. But can you defeat yourself?
[whispering; chuckles]
Knives
Uh-oh. Nega Scott.
Announcer
Nega Scott.
[Knives and Ramona prepare to fight]
Scott
No. This is something I have to face. Myself.
[stops Knives and Ramona; walks toward Nega Scott; tosses Gideon's glasses]
Announcer
Solo round!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Grammar Dispute Among Lovebirds and Rivals
Todd
Hey, lovebirds. We have unfinished business, I and he.
Scott
He and me.
Todd
Don't you talk to me about grammar.
Scott
I dislike you, capisce?
Todd
Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
Scott
What?
Todd
Because you'll be dust by Monday.
Scott
Ummm...
[confused]
Todd
Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds. And the cleaning lady? She cleans up dust. She dusts.
Scott
S-so, what's on Monday?
Todd
Well, cause... it's Friday now, she has the weekends off, so... Monday. Right?
[also confused]
Envy
Basically, you can't win this fight, so you're gonna have to give up on this girl, cause Todd's gonna kill you.
[sighs; translating for Todd Ingram]
Scott
You used to be so NICE!
[offended; charges toward Todd in slow-mo, but Todd psychically throws Scott through a brick wall.]
Stephen
Uh, Scott, we're gonna go to ] for a slice. Call us when you're done.
[[w:Pizza Pizza|Pizza Pizza]
Envy
Oh, he'll be done. Real soon.
Todd
Sounds like someone wants to get...funky.
[hears a bass note]
Todd
I can read your thoughts. Your will is broken. You're through.
[psychically; normally]
Scott
What say we drink to my memory? Fair-trade blend with soy milk?
[offering him a cup of coffee, innocently.]
Envy
Heh. I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.
Todd
Dude, I can see in your mind's eye, that you put half-and-half into one of those coffees in an attempt to make me break Vegan-edge. I'll take the one with soy. Thanks, tool.
[levitates the other cup from Scott's hand and brings it to his own; sips the coffee]
Scott
Actually, muchacho, I poured the soy in this cup, but I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup. You know, in my "mind's eye" or whatever.
[sips his own coffee]
Todd
What are you talking about?
[eyes return to normal, baffled]
Scott
You just drank half-and-half, baby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Love and Challenges in Relationships
Taglines
Get the hot girl. Defeat her evil exes. Hit love where it hurts.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confrontation Over Past Relationships and Nicknames
Scott
Uh...sorry, I guess.
[to Envy]
Envy
Sorry"? You just head-butted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
[in disbelief]
Scott
You kicked my heart in the ass, so, I guess we're even...Natalie.
Envy
Natalie"? No one calls me that anymore.
[confused]
Scott
Maybe they should. Let's get out of here.
[to Ramona; he and Ramona leave, and Scott also holds his back.]
Julie
For the record, I am so pissed off for you, right now.
[appearing out of nowhere]
Envy
Shut the up, Julie.
[annoyed; bleep]
Julie
Okay.
[nonchalantly]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Planning a Breakfast Outing with Friends
Scott
They have this incredible French toast with, like, bananas on it, and you get bacon on the side.
[talking to Nega Scott]
Nega Scott
Oh, I'm likin that.
Scott
Well, let's do it next week.
Nega Scott
Yeah, Tuesday.
Scott
Yeah, all right. Be good.
Nega Scott
Yeah, yeah.
Scott
Hey.
Knifes
What happened?
Scott
Oh, nothing, we just shot the shit. He's, he's just a really nice guy. We're gonna get brunch next week. We, uh, we actually have a lot in common.
Knifes
Your hair, it's getting really shaggy.
Scott
It is?
[his hat appears in a comedic manner]
Knifes
Yeah. You should probably get it cut.
[removes Scott's hat]
Scott
Yeah, you're right. I should get it cut.
[smiles]
Knifes
At a salon.
Scott
Salon, yeah. That sounds really nice. Hey. You're-- You're goin'?
[to Ramona]
Ramona
I should probably disappear.
Scott
After all that?
Ramona
I still need a new life. I came here to escape, but the past keeps catching up. I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me.
Scott
I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get over it.
Ramona
I don't mean just you.
Scott
I understand.
[saddened]
Ramona
I should thank you, though.
Scott
For what?
Ramona
For being the nicest guy I ever dated.
Scott
That's kind of sad.
Ramona
It is kind of sad.
Scott
Well, bye, and stuff.
Ramona
Yeah. And stuff.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.