15 quotes
Reflections on Work and Commitment Issues
Phil
You think I'm doing a bad job, Mike?
Mike
No, you're doing fine.
[indifferently, reading an old asylum journal]
Phil
This used to be a great deal. Steady gigs, joking around, beers after work...
Mike
Hey, look, it says here that eight were committed for "uncontrolled passion.
Phil
Then Emma came... Don't look at me like that, man. You know that's why we lost the last two gigs. He's tired, and he overbid.
[irritably]
Mike
Gordon loves being a father.
[defensively]
Phil
Yeah, now he does. Now he loves it. But it was never in his heart. This was all Wendy's idea.
Mike
Look, Phil. Just because you say you don't want something doesn't mean you don't want it. Six years ago, I didn't want to be a lawyer, but now I'm thinking...
Phil
Wait. Who the fuck are you kidding? You shuck fiber with us, in there, okay? But that's - that's not what I am talking about. I am talking about fatherhood. It's screwing this guy's head up, and it's fucking his job up. At the very least, he should've canned Hank's ass six months ago, and you know it!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Disturbing Rituals and Traumatic Experiences
Mike
He came into her room at night wearing a black robe. He'd take her and drive her to a wooded area where her grandparents and her mother were, and they'd all have black robes on. They'd take them off and group orgies would ensue... and then they'd bring out the newborn. She was forced to watch as her mother would cut the baby's heart out with a stone dagger. She'd drink the blood; others would eat the flesh. The grandfather and father would fuck her repeatedly. She was forced to have abortions and cook the aborted fetuses.
[reading the asylum journals]
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The Importance of an Exit Plan
Jeff
What's your point?
Henry
Just have an exit plan, dude. You stick with this job too long, it'll mess you up, man. It gets inside of you - the stress.
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Friendship Tensions and Consequences Unfold
Jeff
What's the deal with Phil and Hank?
Mike
What's the deal? Hank stole Phil's girlfriend! It's a nightmare! You don't wanna get involved! You especially don't want to get on Phil's bad side, he'll give you all the grunt work
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Plea for Forgiveness and Connection
Gordon
...Wendy, it's me, please don't hang up, please! I just wanted to say that... I'm so sorry for what's happened... I'm so lonely here, I want to go home... I just want to hold you, I want to hold my baby... can you forgive me... can you forgive me?
[crying while sitting on the floor of the mental hospital, holding a dead cellular phone]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Princess's Home in the Tongue
Doctor
Billy, where does the Princess live?
Mary Hobbes
In the tongue.
[voice of Billy]
Doctor
Why the tongue?
Mary Hobbes
Because she's always talking, sir.
[voice of Billy]
Doctor
And where do you live, Billy?
Mary Hobbes
I live in the eyes - you know that.
[voice of Billy]
Doctor
Remind me, though. Why the eyes?
Mary Hobbes
Because... I see everything, sir.
[voice of Billy]
Doctor
And where does Simon live, Billy? Where does Simon live?
Doctor
And where do you live, Simon?
Mary Forbes
I live in the weak and the wounded... Doc.
[voice of Simon]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Icepick Method Explained
Mike
The icepick method. Insert a thin metal pipette into the orbital frontal cortex. Enter the soft tissue of the frontal lobe. A few simple, smooth, up-and-down jerks sever the lateral hypothalamus... all resulting in a rapid reduction of stress for our little patient here. Total time elapsed? Two minutes. Only side-effect? Black eye. Recommended treatment? Sunglasses.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Regrets of Past Decisions in the Workplace
Gordon
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done?
Phil
You mean aside from coming to work for you?... Well, I would have to say introducing Hank to Amy. That was pretty fucking stupid. I'd like to have that one back.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Accidental Violence in Domestic Relationships
Gordon
I hit Wendy.
Phil
What?
Gordon
It was Friday night. I wanted to celebrate gettin this job. I had the flowers, I had the champagne. I went into the kitchen. She was cookin pasta. I wanted to kiss her. She turned around and before I knew it, there was a pot of boiling water all over my leg. And I don't know if it was the dog barkin', I don't know if it was Emma cryin', but I slapped her. I hit my wife. I love my wife. It was an accident. But I slapped her for it.
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Consequences of Choices and Silence
Phil
He was a liability. I mean, he brought it on himself... Didn't he? I mean, it's typical. Typical Henry: The wrong place, at the wrong time.
Gordon
You did this?
Phil
Gordon! I need you to wake up, and take a really, really good look at him... You know what I wouldn't do? I wouldn't tell anybody about this, because if they find out about Hank, they're going to find out about the others.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring the Dark Side of Mental Health
Bill
This is where they'd keep the extreme patients. The psychotics... You know what they called Ward A? "The snake pit."... Either of you guys scared of the dark? Come on, over here.
Mary Hobbes
Hello... Gordon.
[voice of Simon]
Phil
Gordy? It's me, man! Come on!
[calling from a distance; shining flashlight]
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Disappointment and its Consequences in Session 9
Phil
It says here that 19 were committed due to disappointed expectations, Hank, they're talkin about you.
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Introduction Between Mary and the Doctor
Mary Hobbes
Hello, Doc.
[tape of session 9, Mary speaks in a voice, hauntingly deep with masculinity]
Doctor
Simon?
Mary Hobbes
You know who I am.
Doctor
Billy has told me a lot about you.
Mary Hobbes
Billy is a smart boy.
Doctor
What happened on Christmas night in Lowell?
Mary Hobbes
Use your imagination.
Doctor
I'd rather you tell me, Simon.
Mary Hobbes
Peter was naughty, Doc.
Doctor
What did Peter do?
Mary Hobbes
He shouldn't have done it... Doc.
Doctor
Tell me, Simon.
Mary Hobbes
He scared Mary, Doc. He crept up behind her in the dark and he scared her. Mary fell down, Doc. She fell on her doll. It cut her up, Doc. It cut her up real bad. She needed someone to help her. So I... introduced myself. And I told her to cut up Peter, Doc. To cut him up real bad. Good thing his knife was brand new. Real sharp. And then just so her mommy and daddy wouldn't get mad, I told her... to cut them up, too. There was a lot of blood, Doc. So much blood. But Mary wanted to do it, so she did it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Nature of Madness and Curiosity
Hank
Madness is just overactive curiosity.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Consequences of Trust and Manipulation
Doctor
Why did you do it, Simon?
Mary Hobbes
Because Mary let me, Doc. They always do. They always do.
[voice of Simon; laughs]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.