12 quotes
Life's Complexities in One Movie Summary
Taglines
Man. Woman. Life. Death. Infinity. Tuna casserole. One movie dares to tell it all.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Uncertainty About Desires and Emotions
Jake
Wh... why do you... why do you think I'm nervous?
Fantasy Girl
Because you don't know what you want.
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Questioning Love and Commitment
Fantasy Girl
If you're still in love with her, how come you're here with me?
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Struggles of Fatherhood and Fertility Concerns
Jake
My inability to impregnate Kristy was blamed on tight shorts, having something to do with my body temperature. Seemed rather flimsy to me. To go through the hell of a fertility check and discover that my preference in undergarments was to blame seemed as silly and pointless as everything else in my life.
[narrating]
Kristy
Jake? Jakey? My temperature's just right. This is the perfect time! Where are you? Can you hurry?
Jake
Hiding from my wife, hiding from my manly obligation, our love nest had become a stud farm.
[narrating]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Navigating the Challenges of Love and Parenthood
Taglines
A comedy about the labors of love.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Generational Perspectives on Youth and Relationships
Grandmother
He's too young and he's too immature. She's a golddigger.
[before Jake and Kristy's wedding]
Grandfather
There's little or no gold to be dug. He's plenty old and people don't mature anymore. They stay jackasses all their lives.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Friendship Dynamics and Unpleasant Revelations
Jake
Oh, come on. Am I supposed to make my best friend stay in a hotel?
[getting ready for bed]
Kristy
Best friend, my ass. You haven't seen him in two years and in that time he has turned into a complete jerk.
Jake
Excuse me?
Kristy
You heard me and his girlfriend is nauseating.
Jake
Nauseating?
Kristy
Her mother died last night, but she didn't want to come! She models nude in videos!
[shouting]
Jake
She wasn't nude though. She was wearing one of those G-things.
Kristy
It probably wasn't a video.
Jake
Well, m-maybe her mother wasn't a very nice person.
Kristy
I don't care if she was or if she wasn't! That bitch has no feelings! And make me sick she's sleeping in our house! I'll have to burn the sheets!
Jake
What if it was one of your friends, huh? What if the shoe was on the other foot?
Kristy
I'd go barefoot!
Jake
Oh, jeez. Don't give me that righteous pose.
[sits on the bed]
Kristy
Move! Move!
Jake
So what do you want me to do? Tell me, tell me, tell me. You want me to throw them out in the snow? You'd like that wouldn't you?
Kristy
Yes.
Jake
Well, forget it!
Kristy
You're not sleeping in this bed!
Jake
Oh, really?
Kristy
Anywhere but in this room or in this bed!
Jake
Isn't it gonna be a little bit embarrassing to have Davis know that we're fighting?
Kristy
Not to me.
Jake
Ok, fine! Forget it! Forget it! But if he asks... I'm telling him everything.
[shouts]
Kristy
Don't forget to tell him how I feel about his girlfriend!
Erin
She's got some lungs when she wants them, huh?
[downstairs in the living room]
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Discussion on Wage and Alcoholism Perspectives
Howard
How do you feel about slave wages?
Jefferson
Slave wages are okay.
Russ
How do you feel about alcoholics?
Jefferson
Um, I like alcoholics?
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Consequences of Ambition and Responsibility
Russ
If you're going to piss your life away writing some goddamn book that no one is ever going to give a crap about, why did you have to involve my daughter? Let's say she gets pregnant. What are you going to do? Three can't live on what you make. Two can't live on what you make.
Jake
Kristy, is the baby warmer?
[having a vision of him, Kristy and their baby in a cold, dark alley somewhere with a fire burning]
Kristy
We're fine. Sweetie, don't burn your book. Maybe we can get some wood.
Jake
Wood's expensive. Words are cheap.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
College Life Compared to High School
Jake Briggs
College is like high school with ashtrays.
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Reflections on Love and Trust
Jake Briggs
And in the end, I realized that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made.
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Self-Reflection on Love and Relationships
Davis
You're the only one I ever loved.
Kristy
No, Davis. You're the only one you ever loved.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.