18 quotes
Contrasting Musical Tastes in a Post-Apocalyptic World
Russian General
I do not like rock-and-roll music. This is too loud! I like folk music, soft, nice music, huh? Polka, waltz, anything!
Satellite DJ
You're listening to K-LOST, home of the Apocalypse. The call in question of the day is, who will be the new king? I'm sending in an ICBM across the wasteland for all of you on the yellow brick road to Vegas looking for a hero. If you find one send him my way, baby.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Vegas Awaits a New Ruler
Taglines
Vegas Needs A New King
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Encountering Death in Unexpected Circumstances
Buddy
Who are you?
Death
Death.
Buddy
Cool!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Rise of Lost Vegas' New King
Title card
In 1957, the bomb dropped, and the Russians took over what was America. The last bastion of freedom became a place called Lost Vegas, and Elvis was crowned King. After forty rockin years, The King is dead. Every guitar picking, sword swinging opportunist, including Death himself, hears the call echoing across the wastelands... Vegas needs a new King.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Attention and Connection
Buddy
What are you lookin at? You look up at the sky, you look down on the ground, but you don't look at me, kid. Got it?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Death's Demand for a Guitar Hero
Death
Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Unlikely Impact of a Pink Golf Ball
Ward Cleaver
You ever try a pink golf ball, Wally? Why, the wind shear alone on a pink golf ball can take the head clean off a 90-pound midget at over 300 yards.
Buddy
So, you don't have a ratchet.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Tuxedo's Ironic Finality
Head Pin Pal
That's a pretty nice tuxedo. A pretty nice tuxedo to DIE IN!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Humorous Exchange on Looks and Advice
Head Pin Pal
If I were you, I'd run.
Buddy
If you were me, you'd be good-lookin'.
[pushes glasses up]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Farewell to Innocence and Opportunity
Buddy
Float away, little butterfly. Just flutter away. I got a gig in Vegas. And the wastelands ain't no place for kids.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Respect for the Guitar's Legacy
Buddy
Don't touch my guitar, man. Don't ever touch my guitar.
Cantina owner
Hollow body six-string, 1957, a good year.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Trading a Kid for a Ratchet
Buddy
I wonder where I could trade the kid for a ratchet?
[Tired of the kid bawling and being a nuisance]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Superheroes: The Power of Glasses
Taglines
All Superheroes Wear Glasses...
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Lack of Ammunition in Military Strategy
Russian lieutenant
Why don't we just shoot him?
Russian general
Are you crazy? We haven't had bullets since 57.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Warning About Crossing Boundaries
Buddy
You still there? Cross that line, kid, I'll cut your little teddy bear in half. Last kid that crossed that line, I had to summon up the Spinach Monster with my rock n roll magic. The Spinach Monster grabbed him, pulled him underground and made him eat spinach all day. Rumor has it, kid... he's still there.
[Marks a line on the ground with his katana]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cautions Against Deceptive Car Sales Practices
Ward Cleaver
How they hell are ya', boy? Hey, you finished payin off that new Plymouth of yours? I tell ya', I sure hope to HELL you didn't go to one of those boys on the lot. They see you comin a mile away, ready to EAT you alive! Those Plymouth dealers will tell ya they're cuttin you a break, when all they're doin is just fattenin ya up for the slaughter.
[as Buddy arrives at Ward Cleaver's property]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Classic Cars and Competitive Spirit
The Kid
A 56 Chevy Belair could kick a 48 Buick Roadmaster's ass any day, at least in a first quarter mile that is.
Buddy
You come all this way out saying squat and now you're trying to tell me that a 56 Chevy could beat a 48 Buick in a dead quarter mile? I liked you better when you weren't saying squat kid... Go to bed.
[Looks at the Kid, then at the ground, then back at the Kid; Looks at the ground again, the back at the Kid]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Failed Assassination and Compliments on Footwear
Red Elvises
Whats the matter, comrade death?
Top Hat
You. I asked you to kill one simple guitarist, and what do I get? Dead bald guys. You four have failed me for the last... nice shoes.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.