Sleeper (1973) - Quotes

Nostalgia and Reflection on the Future

Taglines: Woody Allen takes a nostalgic look at the future.

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Love and Hate in a Distant Future

Taglines: A love story about two people who hate each other. 200 years in the future.

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Skepticism About Science and Relationships

Luna Schlosser: But Miles, don't you see? Meaningful relationships between men and women don't last. That was proven by science. You see, there's a chemical in our bodies that makes it so that we all get on each other's nerves sooner or later.

Miles Monroe: Hey, that's science. I don't believe in science. I'm, I'm, you know, science is a, an intellectual dead-end. You know, it's a lot of little guys in tweed suits cutting up frogs on foundation grants.

Luna Schlosser: Oh, I see. You don't believe in science, and you also don't believe that political systems work, and you don't believe in God, huh?

Miles Monroe: Right.

Luna Schlosser: So then, what do you believe in?

Miles Monroe: [[death] Sex and ] - two things that come once in a lifetime... but at least after death, you're not nauseous.

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Discussion of a muscular rebel chieftain

Miles Monroe: You'd probably feel a lot safer with Mr. White Teeth back there.

Luna Schlosser: Who?

Miles Monroe: The Rebel Chieftain with the wall-to-wall muscles on his chest.

Luna Schlosser: You mean, Erno?

Miles Monroe: Yeah, Erno. It's a great name, if you happen to be the star of a vampire movie.

Luna Schlosser: He's brilliant.

Miles Monroe: Yeah. He couldn't be with us today. He's got to go take his handsome lesson.

Luna Schlosser: Are you jealous?

Miles Monroe: Jealous? Are kidding, honey? With a body like mine, you don't get jealous.

Luna Schlosser: Certainly you don't expect me to tie myself down to one man. My love is a free gift to all the Bolshevik Brothers.

Miles Monroe: Do what you want. You're over 21. Little Tramp!

Luna Schlosser: We're here on business.

Miles Monroe: [[robot] Free love. I created a Bohemian monster. Next thing you know, she'll wanna have group sex with the ]s.

Luna Schlosser: Will you shut up? You're attracting attention.

Miles Monroe: [[book] Give her a couple of ]s to read, and right away, she's Miss Pseudo-Intellectual, Neo-Fascist, Hegelian, Freudian Monster.

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Modern Perspectives on Relationships and Heritage

Luna Schlosser: Sex is different today. You see, we don't have any problems. Everybody's frigid.

Miles Monroe: Oh, that's incredible. So are the men impotent?

Luna Schlosser: Yeah, most of them, except for the ones whose ancestors are Italian.

Miles Monroe: Alright, I knew there was something in that pasta.

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Unconventional Approaches to Intimacy and Connection

Luna Schlosser: Do you want to perform sex with me?

Miles Monroe: Perform sex? Uh, uh, I don't think I'm up to a performance, but I'll rehearse with you, if you like.

Luna Schlosser: [[machine] Okay. I just thought you might want to; they have a ] here.

Miles Monroe: Machine? I'm not getting into that thing. I, I'm strictly a hand operator; you know, I, I... I don't like anything with moving parts that are not my own.

Luna Schlosser: It's hard to believe that you haven't had sex for 200 years.

Miles Monroe: 204, if you count my marriage.

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Humor in Academic and Personal Skills

Luna Schlosser: Men go crazy over for me. I'm great physically. I got a Ph.D. in oral sex.

Miles Monroe: Yeah, they make you take any Spanish with that?

Luna Schlosser: What?

Miles Monroe: [[Chaucer] Well, I don't know. I was an English major, myself. You know, ], Pope, I minored in foreplay. It's a two credit course at NYU.

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Desire for Comfort Amidst Discomfort

Luna Schlosser: Please! I wanna go home! I'm getting a headache! I'm hungry! I haven't had a stress pill! I haven't had a bath in seven hours! I'm telling you, I'm not accustomed to this. I need my orb! I want to relax. Look at me! Look at me. I'm shaking!

Miles Monroe: Gee, you know you'd be great to take on a camping trip.

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Exploring Discontent in a World of Wonders

Luna Schlosser: I absolutely do not want to hear about it, Herald. This world is so full of wonderful things. What makes people suddenly go berserk and hate everything anyway? I mean, why does there have to be an underground? After all, there's the Orb, and there's the telescreen, and there's the Orgasmatron. What more do they want?

Herald Cohen: [[beauty] It's hard for us to understand the criminal element. We're artists. We respond only - to ].

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Reluctance Amidst Danger and Torture

Dr. Melik: [[torture] And if you're captured, you don't know anything. Why, they could ] you for months. What could you tell them?

Miles Monroe: Only my name, rank, serial number - and your name.

Dr. Orva: Miles, you've got to help us!

Miles Monroe: [[hero] I’m not the ]ic type, really. I was beaten up by Quakers....I never get involved in anything where I could be tortured.

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Theories on Punishment in Dystopian Society

Historian: [[crime] Frankly, we didn't know exactly what this was, but we've developed a theory. We feel that when citizens in your society were guilty of a ] against the state, they were forced to watch this.

Miles Monroe: Yes. That's exactly what that was.

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A Time Traveler's Disbelief

Miles Monroe: [[miracle; [science] I can't believe this! My doctor said I'd be up and on my feet in five days. He was off by 199 years!... To me, a ] of science, is going to the hospital for a minor operation, I come out the next day, my rent isn't 2,000 months overdue. That's a miracle of ]. This is what I call a cosmic screwing! And then where am I anyhow? What happened to everybody? Where are all my friends?

Dr. Orva: You must understand that everyone you knew in the past has been dead nearly two hundred years.

Miles Monroe: But they all ate organic rice.

Dr. Orva: You are now in the year 2173.

The Evolution of Dietary Beliefs

Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk.

Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.

Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge?

Dr. Aragon: [[health] Those were thought to be un]y... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.

Dr. Melik: Incredible.

Luna's Poetic Success and Greeting Card Sales

Luna Schlosser: [[poems] I am a renowned poet. I sell 20 to 30 ] a week, plus greeting cards.

Critique of a Criminal Assistance Group

Miles Monroe: [[w:National Rifle Association|National Rifle Association; [guns] Oh, he was probably a member of the ]. It was a group that helped criminals get ] so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service.

Existential Reflections on the Universe

Miles Monroe: [[God; [teleological; [atheist; [intelligence] Do I believe in ]? I'm what you would call a ], existential ]. I believe that there's an ] to the universe, with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.

Unexpected Weapon in a Strange Encounter

Miles Monroe: I just beat a man senseless with a large strawberry!

Reflections on Time and Therapy

Miles Monroe: [[Freud] I haven't seen my analyst in 200 years. He was a strict ]ian. If I'd been going all this time, I'd probably almost be cured by now.

Unexpected Consequences of a Simple Hospital Visit

Miles Monroe: I can't believe this. I go into the hospital for a lousy ulcer operation. I lay around in a Birds-Eye wrapper for 200 years, I wake up, suddenly I'm on the Ten-Most-Wanted List....I knew it was too good to be true. I parked right near the hospital.