Small Time Crooks (2000) - Quotes

Humor that Delivers Big Laughter

Taglines: Explodes with big-time laughter.

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A Comedic Take on Crime Prevention

Taglines: They took a bite out of crime.

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Memories and Morality in Crime

Frenchy: Hey, It was you who taught me how to open a safe.

Ray: That was one of my fondest memories of our time together... What are you saying? You boosted this from David's safe? Frenchy, that's stealing.

Frenchy: Not exactly. Look, it's a long story, Ray. Let's sell it, and I'll fill you in on the flight to Miami.

Ray: Sweetheart, you are the greatest.

Frenchy: Yeah.

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Facing the Reality of Bankruptcy

Frenchy's Lawyer: You've lost it all, Frenchy. Or should I say, you've been swindled out of it all.

Frenchy: You mean I got...?

Frenchy's Lawyer: Nothing, Mrs. Winkler. You have nothing. No... no house, no bank account, just a couple of large, outstanding loans which we feel you can best deal with by filing for bankruptcy.

Frenchy: Bankruptcy? Bankruptcy? I'm not up to the B-words yet!

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Symptoms and Uncertainties in Diagnosis

May: Then the lights begin to flash. Little pinpoints of light. Then my tongue turns black and I can't swallow.

Dr. Henske: Really?

May: The diagnosis is Parkinson's, but they think it could be the Ebola virus, or mad cow disease.

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Discussion of a Rented Car Sale

Denny: Did you get your share?

Tommy: My share of what? Oh, oh, yeah. I got it. I sold some stuff.

Denny: What did you sell?

Tommy: A rented car.

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Dividing Shares Amongst Friends

Benny: You know what I say? She gets a share, but not a full share.

Tommy: I'd go for that. Yeah.

Denny: Yeah, what if we each get a fourth and she gets, like, a third?

Benny: What are you? Nuts? Then she'd be getting more than us!

Denny: How do you figure?

Benny: Where are you gonna get four fourths and a third? Can't you add?

Denny: I don't do fractions, all right?

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Trust Issues and Insecurities Unveiled

Ray: I get a bad vibe about this guy, David. It's my street instinct, but I just don't trust him.

May: Yeah, I know why. Because he's younger than you are, handsomer than you are, he's much taller than you are, he's smarter than you are, he's much more exciting than you are...

Ray: May, don't feel obligated to pull any punches with me. I can take it.

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Art Comparison Reveals Unique Perspectives

David: So, you can see the difference between this Tintoretto and the earlier Byzantine painting we looked at? What would you say is the most significant difference?

Ray: Me? I'd say the frame's bigger here.

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Discussing Plans for a Flower Shop

Ray: What the hell are you gonna do with a flower shop?

Benny: Burn it down.

Ray: What do you mean, "burn it down"? You're still burning stuff down for insurance?

Benny: I burn everything. That's how I sent two kids through college.

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A Humorous Take on Marital Intelligence

Ray: What would you say if I told you that you were married to a very brilliant man?

Frenchy: I'd say I'd have to be a bigamist.

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Comparing Intelligence with Humor

Denny: Ray really is a genius, Frenchy.

Frenchy: Compared to you, this chair is a genius, Denny.

Unexpected Consequences of a Rat Bite

Ray: Today Benny got bit by a rat. We had to give him a rabies shot.

Frenchy: Who, the rat?

Dreams and Reality in Small Time Crooks

Ray: For God's sake! For some reason you're always shooting down my dreams.

Frenchy: Because you get the kind of dreams people get after putting opium in their brownies.

A Lighthearted Exchange on a Rooftop

Ray: I gotta get some air. I'm going up on the roof.

Frenchy: Don't jump! You're too valuable as a dishwasher.

Self-Doubt and Acknowledgment of Limitations

Ray: I'm no genius, believe me, I'm no genius.

Frenchy: Yeah, you don't have to sell me.

Reflections on Love and Loss

May Sloane: I met a wonderful man downstairs. He seemed to like me. He said I reminded him of his wife who's dead. But I assume he meant when she was alive.