Snatch Quotes

Brick Top Listen here, you fucking fringe. If I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm talking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.

Mickey Fook, e's a big fella.

Mickey Nobody brings a fella the size o him, less they're tryin to say somethin without talkin'.

Brick Top Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by a orrible cunt: me.

Brick Top I'm gonna be watching you, and I don't care where you go. You can fuck off to Tibet, and I shall have men, nutters, from Parkhurst, dressed in yeti suits, up Everest, with meat cleavers ready to chop your tarty fuckin legs off!

Turkish Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog; I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. Couldn't stand that squeaking anymore. The vet found a squeaky toy, an undigested shoe, and an eighty-six carat diamond lodged in the dog's stomach. Lot can happen in a week. Still didn't shut it up, though.

Turkish Not many people are named after a plane crash.

Turkish That's Doug the Head. Everybody knows Doug the Head. If it's stones and it's stolen, he's the man to speak to. Pretends he's Jewish. Wishes he was Jewish. Even tells his family they're Jewish, but he's about as Jewish as he is a fucking monkey. He thinks it's good for business. And in the diamond business, it is good for business.

Brick Top You are on thin fucking ice, my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks! Now, fuck off.

Brick Top I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm-hard" Bruce Lee, you can't change fighters!

Mickey Ya stay until the job is done!

Brick Top Pull your tongue out of my arsehole Gary. Dogs do that, You're not a dog are yer Gary?

Turkish Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker … well, he is a fat fucker … but he's dirty and he's dangerous.

Turkish Boris "the Blade", or Boris "the Bullet Dodger". As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

Mickey Save your breath for cooling your porridge

Bullet Tooth Tony Oh, I love this track.

Mickey Now look, she wants the Heki 2 roof lights, uh, the stylish ash frame furniture, and the scatter cushions with, uh, matching shag pile cover. Yeah. Right. And she's terrible partial to the periwinkle blue boss.

Mickey I need to have a shite.

Bullet Tooth Tony Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Brick Top Goody gumdrops. Get us a cup of tea, will you, Errol?

Bullet Tooth Tony You're in trouble now, boy.

Turkish This is Tommy. He tells people he's named after a gun, but I know he's named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

Brick Top In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary … come again?

Turkish Ever crossed the road and looked the wrong way? And hey presto, a car's nearly on you, so what do you do? You freeze. And your life doesn't flash before your eyes, cause you're too fucking scared to think – you just freeze, and pull a stupid face. The pikey didn't – why? Because he had plans on running the car over. It had previously occurred to me that the pikey had taken the demise of his mother rather lightly. For every action, there is a reaction. And a pikey reaction … is quite a fucking thing.

Mickey Deadly kick fer a fat focker, eh?

Turkish Hurry up, Tommy, before zee Germans get here.

Turkish Now … we are fucked.

Turkish You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy, and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, ]-feeding gangster.

Bullet Tooth Tony * Bonjourrr?

Bullet Tooth Tony So, you're obviously the big dick. And there on either side of you are your balls. There are two types of balls. There are big, brave balls, and there are little, mincy faggot balls. Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever; they smell pussy, and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good ol pussy, and have brought your two little, mincey, faggot balls along for a good ol time. But you've got your parties muddled up; there's no pussy here, just a dose that will make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you're having second thoughts. You're shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with ya. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written on the side of your guns…and the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle .50" written on the side of mine…should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now…fuck off!