32 quotes
Countdown to the End
Boxer Santaros
Three days. Three final days. It all ends tonight.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Society's Complex Challenges and Issues
Krysta Now
Join us for an in-depth discussion of the penetrating issues facing society today. Issues like abortion, terrorism, crime, poverty, social reform, quantum teleportation, teen horniness and war.
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Predictions of a More Futuristic Future
Krysta Now
Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic than they originally predicted.
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Boundaries in Pleasure and Violence
Krysta Now
You know what, I like to get fucked, I like to get fucked hard. Okay, but you have to draw the line somewhere. I mean, violence is a big problem in our society today and I will not support it. That is the primary reason why I won't do anal.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Mission to Dismantle Capitalism and Authority
Baron Von Westphalen
Our mission is to destroy Capitalism, dethrone God.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Universal Consequences of Chaos
Cyndi Pinziki
When the shit hits the fans, it all smells the same.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Contractual Disputes and Margins of Error
Baron Von Westphalen
Clearly your attorneys didn't read the whole contract. It stipulates a six-inch margin of error in the cutting radius!
[after Serpentine cuts off Takehashi's hand]
Hideo Takehashi
Contract said finger only!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Power of Memory and Identity
Boxer Santaros
Do you ever feel like there's a thousand people locked inside of you?
Roland Taverner
Sometimes.
Boxer Santaros
But it's your memory that keeps them glued together. Keeps all these people from fighting one another. Maybe in the end, that's all we have. The Memory Gospel.
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The Paradox of Hope and Despair
Pilot Abilene
Revelation 21: And God wiped away the tears from his eyes, so the new Messiah could see out to the new Jerusalem. His name was Officer Roland Taverner, of Hermosa Beach, California. My best friend. He is a pimp. And pimps don't commit suicide.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Resourceful Solutions in Unconventional Situations
Cyndi Pinziki
Nothing an eight ball, a porn star and a tattoo parlor can't handle.
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Expression of Love in Southland Tales
Krysta Now
I love you, Jericho Cane.
[to Boxer]
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Critique of American Sexuality and History
Krysta Now
We're a bisexual nation living in denial. All because of a bunch of nerds. A bunch of nerds who got off a boat in the 15th century and decided that sex was something to be ashamed of. All the Pilgrims did was ruin the American Indian orgy of freedom.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Conflict Over Payment in Ice Cream Truck
Walter Mung
What the fuck is this?
[selling weapons]
Zora Carmichaels
What, you won't take a personal check?
Walter Mung
No, I won't take a fucking personal check. Get the fuck out of my ice cream truck, you Cro-Magnon bitch!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Collapse of the Fourth Dimension Explained
Boxer Santaros
The fourth dimension will collapse upon itself... you stupid bitch.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Importance of Living in the Present
Krysta Now
Well, in my first six movies I was just Krysta, you know, but then in order to differentiate myself from the 76 other Krystas in the business I added the Now.
Cyndi Pinziki
Wow.
Krysta Now
Well, it's all about now, 2008, not next week, not tomorrow. If you wanna fuck me, you can fuck me now.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Exploring Perpetual Motion and Quantum Transport
Dr. Linda Lao
Have you built the world's first perpetual motion machine?
Baron Von Westphalen
The ocean is a perpetual motion machine. Fluid Karma is a simulation of the principles you see working right here. As long as the waves continue to crash, Fluid Karma will exist.
Dr. Katarina Kuntzler
Quantum teleportation.
Dr. Linda Lao
Explain the transport mechanism, that's all I'm asking.
Dr. Soberin Exx
Uh, Fluid Karma works via the principle of quantum entanglement. Particles thus entangled will behave identically.
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Southland Tales - Boxer Santaros
Boxer Santaros
My character... he realizes that the apocalyptic crime rate is because of global deceleration. The rotation of the earth is slowing down at a rate of point zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero, zero six miles per hour each day disrupting the chemical equilibrium in the human brain causing very irrational criminal behavior.
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Dreams and Reality in a Colorful Metaphor
Pilot Abilene
Look, green you dream. Blue, in an hour you feel new. And you can forget all about Mellow Yellow and Agent Orange, cause hey, I'm giving you blood red. Do you bleed? I said, do you bleed?
Martin Kefauver
Yeah, dawg.
Pilot Abilene
Well, then you take the Blood train. You talk to God without seeing Him. You hear His voice and you see His disciples. They appear like... like angels under a sea of black umbrellas. Angels who can see through time.
Martin Kefauver
Thanks, dawg.
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Southland Tales - Dialogue 12
Vaughn Smallhouse
You ever lost someone close to you, a loved one in a terrorist attack? Cause I have.
Cyndi Pinziki
This may come as a shock to you, Mr Smallhouse, but I have lost two people in Abilene. Two of my four ex-husbands on a fishing trip, which they took every year to bitch about me.
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Proposition 69 and Its Dual Meanings
Pilot Abilene
Proposition 69. To Krysta that number had one meaning, and one meaning only. To everyone else it was a proposition on the ballot to restrict the powers of the oppressive institution known as USIDent.
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Discussion on Perpetual Motion Machines
Dr. Linda Lao
Perpetual motion machines are machines that are supposed to disobey one of the laws of thermodynamics.
Assistant
You're just reading a bunch of stuff you read off the Internet.
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Identity Confusion in Southland Tales
Vaughn Smallhouse
Are you Deep Throat 2?
Krysta Now
Oh, I'm not in that movie.
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Tension Surrounds MegaZeppelin Launch Amid Riots
Reporter#1
Thousands gathered to witness the maiden voyage of the Baron's technological marvel, Southland's newest wonder, the Treer MegaZeppelin.
Reporter#2
...at the hills above Los Angeles today, while on the ground, authorities are bracing the first riots since 1992.
Reporter#3
You can see right there a car bomb went off just moments ago.
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A Secret About an Important Relationship
Krysta Now
Can you keep a secret?
Cyndi Pinziki
Yes.
Krysta Now
I'm fucking a very large and important man.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The World Ends with a Bang
Pilot Abilene
This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. This is the way the World ends. Not with a whimper, but with a bang.
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Desperate Choices in a Crisis
Roland Taverner
We're taking the ATM machine with us to Mexico.
Roland Taverner
Sounds neat... How does he stop the global deceleration?
Starla Von Luft
The information that I have uncovered could get me killed. But it was a risk I was willing to take. The fate of the earth depends on you, Jericho.
[to Boxer]
Starla Von Luft
If you don't let me suck your dick I'll shoot myself in the head!
[to Boxer]
Zora Carmichaels
You know... there would be a lot less violence in the world if everyone just got a little more cardio.
Zora Carmichaels
Let's dry our tears and face our fears.
Fortunio Balducci
Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval.
Veronica Mung
Just cause it's loud doesn't mean it's funny!
Serpentine
Don't look so scared, Mr. Santaros. The future is just like you imagined.
Senator Bobby Frost
Did I just see two cars porking each other?
Senator Bobby Frost
Teen horniness is not a crime"? I never said it was...
Dr. Inga Von Westphalen
Here we go round the prickly pear, prickly pear, prickly pear.
Announcer on PA
Ladies and gentlemen, the party is over. Have a nice apocalypse.
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The Inevitability of Fate and Belief
Boxer Santaros
There is no stopping what can't be stopped. Only God can stop it.
Krysta Now
But The New York Times said: "God is dead.
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Convergence of Darkness in the City
Pilot Abilene
Darkness fell upon the city. Neo-Marxist cells began to converge upon downtown.
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Struggles of Duty and Despair
Roland Taverner
So, why do you wanna kill yourself?
Martin Kefauver
I got drafted, dawg. Gotta go to Iraq, maybe Syria. Can't take that shit.
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Pimp Philosophy on Life and Death
Boxer Santaros
I'm a pimp... and pimps don't commit suicide.
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The Morning-After Pill Debate
Shoshana Cox
I have a question for the Supreme Court. What happens when a woman has sex on a flight from London to Los Angeles... then takes the morning-after pill while flying across the time zone?
Krysta Now
I don't know.
Shoshana Cox
Then it becomes the morning-before pill.
Deena Storm
You are a genius!
Shoshana Cox
Hello! Can't answer to that!
Krysta Now
Holy shit! That is brilliant!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Cyndi Pinziki's Unique Confidence
Cyndi Pinziki
Nobody rocks the cock like Cyndi Pinziki!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.