Summer Catch Quotes

Billy Brubaker Wood bats suck! Why do you think God invented aluminum?

Miles Dalrymple Excuse me, I am tired of living a lie. I need it to be known that I like a big girl. In fact, a large, zaftig, voluptuous, full-figured, big-boned, massive-assive honey, that is what gets me going. I like fat women and they like me... big girls need love too, baby!

Billy That is unhealthy...

Miles Can we not do this again?

Billy Domo, don't you think that's unhealthy?

Billy Wait, you think all sex is unhealthy. Never mind... What I'm sayin is... Miles, these women are too big to be foolin with... I'm afraid that in the heat of passion, one of em is gonna roll over on you... squash you dead!

Ryan She was fat?

Billy This girl had strings hanging from her the last time they steered her down the street.

Tenley Parrish You're thinking about kissing me, aren't you?

Ryan Dunne No.

Parrish Well, now that I've said that, you're thinking about it.

Dunne No, I'm thinking that's what you're thinking.

Parrish No, I'm thinking that I could swim the length and back underwater.

Dunne Five bucks says you can't.

Parrish You got it!

Billy Brubaker Hey Ryan, Miles here thinks you have a nice pooper.

Tenley You don't understand...

Ryan Understand what? Being broke? I understand!

Tenley No...

Ryan Understand what? Doing something you love? I understand! I love standing on that mound with a baseball in my hand... Staring at a guy holdin a club 60 feet away... KNOWING... that he can't touch me... It is the only place in the world that I feel powerful...

Tenley Why are you so scared?

Ryan Scared of what?

Tenley Of everything! Success? Love? You say you love getting on that mound and playing baseball! Why would you ever settle for cutting grass?

Tenley Parrish If you want big rewards, you gotta take big risks.

Taglines Baseball's a sport. Love's the game for Freddie Prinze, Jr. and Jessica Biel.

Ryan Yeah? Well... What you think don't mean shit!...

Ryan What?... Look all that matters is making it... Getting signed and cashing a check! And right now, I'm lucky if some scout from Po-dunk lets me pitch batting practice for the next couple of seasons!

Auggie No you're wrong!

Ryan Bullshit! That's all that matters!

Auggie No bullshit! What matters is there's some of us who would say you've already made it! Some of us - Some of us who've been there for you... Who drove to Boston College to see you pitch and who went to Framingham State, and sat at your Mom's wake with you... And who cleaned you up behind the OASIS when you couldn't pick YOURSELF up off the ground! And who let you live with me... When you and your old man were at it!... Yeah we matter... I matter... You bet your ass what I think matters... I ain't missed one game Ry... Not one game! And I'm - I'm proud as hell you've done what you've done... When you hit that mound man, I got all I can do to keep from cryin thinkin about what we've been through... Me and him and your Father and Mike... None of us has missed a game... This ain't just about a paycheck Ry... It's - It's about having pride in what you do... Cuz - Cuz I do...

Sean Dunne Tough loss tonight. Nine innings, six hits, five runs, three walks, eight strikeouts and one big mistake. I was talking to one of the scouts, the guy in the suspenders. He's from the Phillies. He was curious about your college career. I made up a few stories.

Ryan That's great, Dad.

Sean Dunne I'm trying to help here, hotshot. Most important thing in your life, you don't want my help? Not interested?

Ryan I got some place to be!

Sean Dunne Chasing some Shore Road princess who's trying to get Daddy's attention by screwing the lawn boy.

Ryan Does his wife know he's screwin us?

John Schiffner All right, let's not have a meltdown...

Billy It's me...

Ryan What?

Billy Yeah, I don't think he appreciates me fartin in his face all night... First it was accidental, now I'm tryin to make him cry... and I'm pretty sure I just poo-pooed in my panties...

Coach John Schiffner Everything you do, on the field and off the field, affects your wallet. It's a shame to be hitting 190 on the field because you're hitting 700 in some gin mill. It's a shame to see your dreams and your bank accounts go up in smoke. Any more garbage from you guys and you'll be warming the sticky vinyl of a bus seat back to mommy! I don't care who you are. Now get outta here.

Ryan She was big huh?

Billy Yeah, she was fat and that ain't with a p-h kid!

Billy Brubaker So you mow her lawn, and now you're trying to mow her lawn?

Taglines Are you game?

Ryan Dunne I feel comfortable in my thong!

Coach John Schiffner Why stop with the press box? Huh? If you're gonna start fires, why don't you burn down Main Street?! Hah! You know, the league commissioner wanted to call this game off. I had to convince her that to penalize the rest of the team for the stupidity of a couple of knuckleheads would be unfair. But Robin and Van Leemer? They're ghosts. Ghosts!! I packed those idiots on the bus this morning; which means that we finish the regular season and we go into the playoffs without our number one pitcher and our starting shortstop! Look at me when I'm talking to you, dammit!! Tomorrow at 4 PM. Dunne! You've got the freshest arm. You get to start tomorrow. Now get the hell out of my sight, all of you; I'm sick and tired of looking at you. Move!!