The Expendables 2 (2012) - Quotes

Toll Road: [''Eating some spoiled food''; ''To Caesar''] Oh. This tastes like shit. How's yours?

Vilain: [''To Billy''] Are you afraid of me?

Bill The Kid Timmons: No, I'm not.

Vilain: You should be.

Lee Christmas: From one friend to another...

Barney Ross: What?

Lee Christmas: You really need to learn how to fight.

Gunner Jensen: Who am I gonna pick on?

Yin Yang: You find some other minority.

Lee Christmas: What's the plan?

Barney Ross: Track him, find him, kill him.

Gunner Jensen: I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.

Lee Christmas: What's he doing?

Barney Ross: Probably making a bomb.

Barney Ross: Ask him.

Lee Christmas: What you doing, Gunner?

Gunner Jensen: I'm making a bomb. You mind?

Barney Ross: A maniac with brains.

Lee Christmas: Scary.

Trench: I'll be back.

Church: [''Leaves''] You've been back enough. I'll be back.

Trench: Yippee-ki-yay.

Trench: [''Eyeing Caesar's gun''] I need a weapon. Something big. Yours.

Hale Caesar: Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin right where it is.

Barney Ross: Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.

Hale Caesar: [''Reluctantly hands over his gun''] If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.

Trench: In your dreams.

Trench: [Church pulls up in a [[w:Smart (marque)|SmartCar] ] My shoe is bigger than this car.

Church: Shoot something!

Pilar: Who you are?

Barney Ross: [[w:American people|We're Americans] ].

Lee Christmas: Since when?

Gunner Jensen: Swedish.

Hale Caesar: Blackfoot.

Maggie: Chinese.

Toll Road: Retards.

Barney Ross: [''To Toll Road''] You done?

Gunner Jensen: She's into me.

Hale Caesar: She hates you.

Gunner Jensen: [''Feigns coughing and Maggie just stares at him unimpressed and Hale makes a throat slashing gesture with a razor blade''] Watch this.

Lee Christmas: [''To Barney''] You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?

Barney Ross: I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.

Lee Christmas: Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.

Barney Ross: Really?

Lee Christmas: Yeah.

Barney Ross: [''Lee's phone rings''] Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?

Lee Christmas: [''To Barney''; ''To Lacy''; ''Makes thumbs-down gesture to Barney''] You know, I will stab you one day. Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about?

Barney Ross: [''Scoffs''] Hopeless.

Maggie: [''To Bill''] Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.

Bill The Kid Timmons: [[w:Afghanistan|Afghanistan; [w:Kunar Province|Kunar Province] Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was ], ].

Maggie: Didn't like it anymore?

Bill The Kid Timmons: Uhh... long story.

Bill The Kid Timmons: [[w:Taliban|Taliban; ''Maggie looks down and back heartfelt''] All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 ] opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am.

Barney Ross: Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.

Lee Christmas: Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?

Barney Ross: She cheated on you.

Lee Christmas: It was a half-cheat.

Barney Ross: Which is?

Lee Christmas: The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.

Barney Ross: Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Lee Christmas: I should stab you in the heart.

Barney Ross: [''Lee's wife comes over''] Too late.

Lee Christmas: You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.

Lacy: [''To Barney''] Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?

Barney Ross: [''Gets up to sit at a table with other colleagues''] Cross my heart.

Lee Christmas: If he had one.

Hale Caesar: [''Referring to Barney''] Look whose lost in space.

Gunnar Jensen: [''Barney takes out elaborately decorated pen''] Got a pen?

Lee Christmas: Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?

Barney Ross: Matter of fact, I don't.

Gunnar Jensen: [''Writes out physics equation on napkin and holds it up''; [w:Albert Einstein|Einstein; [w:Special relativity|Theory of Special Relativity; ''Blows nose in napkin''] ]'s ], only I made it better.

Barney Ross: This guy is good. Your good.

Bill The Kid Timmons: Appreciate it sir.

Barney Ross: I've heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?

Booker: Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

Bill The Kid Timmons: How did you do that?

Hale Caesar: Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

Lee Christmas: Hey, I'd hate to break up the bromance. We're twenty seconds late!

Vilain: [''Ross charges in, guns blazing''; ''Shoots out half the lights''] : Let's make it more dramatic.

Vilain: Don't challenge me.

Vilain: [[w:plutonium|plutonium] Imagine if 6 pounds of pure ] is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. So, imagine what 5 tons would do.

Hector: [''Shoots a tired mine worker''] Anybody else tired?

Maggie: [''To Ross''] If you need me, call me, or you're dead.

Gunner Jensen: [''As Yang and the Chinese millionaire jump out of the plane''] Now that's some real Chinese take out.

Barney Ross: [''To Maggie after killing Vilain''] You know how to carve a turkey?

Barney Ross: Rest in pieces.

Barney Ross: That's how we deal with death. We can't change what it is, so we keep it light until it's time to get dark. And then we get pitch black.

Barney Ross: Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, who deserves to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die keep on living? What's the message in that?

Barney Ross: [''Observing plane wreckage''] Looks like somebody had a bad day.

Barney Ross: [''To Lee''] I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Lee Christmas: [''Dressed as a priest''] By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife.

Trench: [''To Booker''] Who's next? Rambo?