The Expendables 2 Quotes

Hale Caesar Great. Just what I need. 50-year-old pizza.

Lee Christmas By the powers vested in me, I now pronounce you man and knife.

Barney Ross This guy is good. Your good.

Bill The Kid Timmons Appreciate it sir.

Gunner Jensen She's into me.

Hale Caesar She hates you.

Gunner Jensen Watch this.

Lee Christmas You know, if something happens to her, it's coming back on us. Did you ever think to ask for my opinion?

Barney Ross I told you ten times before, I didn't have a choice, unless you don't mind going to jail.

Lee Christmas Yeah, well, Church intimidated you.

Barney Ross Really?

Lee Christmas Yeah.

Barney Ross Oh, is that the woman you can never fully trust, calling again?

Lee Christmas You know, I will stab you one day. Hey baby. Yeah, course I'm thinking about you. What else to think about?

Barney Ross Hopeless.

Maggie Hey. You were in the Army, right? I can tell.

Bill The Kid Timmons Yes, ma'am. Three years. Last tour was ], ].

Maggie Didn't like it anymore?

Bill The Kid Timmons Uhh... long story.

Bill The Kid Timmons All right. I, uh, I was trained as sniper, and as an instructor, too. But, I actually wanted to mix it up, get in on the action. Uh, this one time, we're stuck out in this hell-hole valley. About 30 ] opened up from these house above us. And they got about eight of us pinned down bad. So I called in for artillery support. But; "no way", says the captain. Didn't wanna endanger the locals. So we scattered. Some crawled to a ditch, some... to the dry riverbed and the rest bailed, but... we were still stuck in the kill zone. And we battled for... I don't know, three hours. And finally, an Apache gunship chopper showed up to provide air cover. Scattered the Hadjis, but... smoke clears and four of my squad are dead in the ditch and two in the riverbed. Yeah, I was... mad and sick, all dead for nothing. You know, the most... screwed thing up of all... is when I got back to base that night, I found out that they shot this stray dog I had adopted. Commander's orders to get rid of all animals on the base. I mean, you'd think we had enough damn shooting for one day, you know? And, anyway, I, uh, I figured it was time to move on. I heard these guys were looking for someone, and here I am.

Vilain : Let's make it more dramatic.

Barney Ross Why is it that one of us who wants to live the most, who deserves to live the most dies, and the ones that deserve to die keep on living? What's the message in that?

Toll Road Oh. This tastes like shit. How's yours?

Trench ] My shoe is bigger than this car.

Church Shoot something!

Hector Anybody else tired?

Gunner Jensen Who am I gonna pick on?

Yin Yang You find some other minority.

Barney Ross Rest in pieces.

Bill The Kid Timmons How did you do that?

Lee Christmas Hey, I'd hate to break up the bromance. We're twenty seconds late!

Lee Christmas From one friend to another...

Barney Ross What?

Lee Christmas You really need to learn how to fight.

Barney Ross Christmas, my friend. Please tell me you ain't going through with this.

Lee Christmas Course I am. Look at that girl. Who wouldn't marry her?

Barney Ross She cheated on you.

Lee Christmas It was a half-cheat.

Barney Ross Which is?

Lee Christmas The other side of a half-truth. The facts are murky.

Barney Ross Murky. I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Lee Christmas I should stab you in the heart.

Barney Ross Too late.

Lee Christmas You know, I used to think you had a black heart. Black is too colorful.

Lacy Promise not to keep my baby way for so long?

Barney Ross Cross my heart.

Lee Christmas If he had one.

Hale Caesar Look whose lost in space.

Gunnar Jensen Got a pen?

Lee Christmas Hey, you got anything that doesn't have skulls on it?

Barney Ross Matter of fact, I don't.

Gunnar Jensen ]'s ], only I made it better.

Vilain Are you afraid of me?

Bill The Kid Timmons No, I'm not.

Vilain You should be.

Lee Christmas What's the plan?

Barney Ross Track him, find him, kill him.

Trench Who's next? Rambo?

Vilain Imagine if 6 pounds of pure ] is powerful enough to change the balance of the world. So, imagine what 5 tons would do.

Barney Ross I hate to break it to you pal, but your girlfriend over there a the world-class cheating gene.

Trench I need a weapon. Something big. Yours.

Hale Caesar Whoa, whoa, whoa. My big weapon's hangin right where it is.

Barney Ross Come on, Caesar. You got a backup.

Hale Caesar If I don't get this back, your ass is terminated.

Trench In your dreams.

Gunner Jensen I got a plan. Everybody calm down. Phosphate rock.

Lee Christmas What's he doing?

Barney Ross Probably making a bomb.

Barney Ross Ask him.

Lee Christmas What you doing, Gunner?

Gunner Jensen I'm making a bomb. You mind?

Barney Ross A maniac with brains.

Lee Christmas Scary.

Pilar Who you are?

Barney Ross ].

Lee Christmas Since when?

Gunner Jensen Swedish.

Hale Caesar Blackfoot.

Maggie Chinese.

Toll Road Retards.

Barney Ross You done?

Maggie If you need me, call me, or you're dead.

Trench I'll be back.

Church You've been back enough. I'll be back.

Trench Yippee-ki-yay.

Barney Ross You know how to carve a turkey?

Gunner Jensen Now that's some real Chinese take out.

Barney Ross Looks like somebody had a bad day.

Barney Ross That's how we deal with death. We can't change what it is, so we keep it light until it's time to get dark. And then we get pitch black.

Vilain Don't challenge me.

Barney Ross I've heard another rumor, that you were bitten by a king cobra?

Booker Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.