The Girl Next Door (2004) - Quotes

Taglines: Matt never saw her coming... but all his friends had!

Film School Student: Why'd you decide to skip film school? Don't you think you're a little young?

Eli: SHUT THE FUCK UP! Next question.

Danielle: Thank you.

Matthew: For what?

Danielle: I never went to prom.

Ferrari: I know I lost my virginity at prom. How about you? When did you lose your virginity?

April: When I was ten.

Ferrari: Okay, moving on...

Mrs. Kidman: [referring to Eli & Klitz's porn star dates] Eli, do those girls go to your school?

Eli: Actually, no, Mrs. Kidman, they're porn stars.

Kelly: Sometimes in life if you wanna do something good, you gotta do something bad.

Matthew: Yeah, but this is breaking and entering.

Kelly: This is politics.

Eli: Dude!

Matthew: I know.

Klitz: Dude!

Matthew: I know.

Matthew: Why are you doing this?

Danielle: What?

Matthew: This.

Danielle: Isn't that what you want? To fuck a porn star in a cheap motel room? So this is what you really think of me.

Matthew: Danielle, wait. I'm sorry.

Danielle: Let me guess. Someone showed you a tape, and you thought, "What the hell. She does it for a living right?

Matthew: Eli told me to do it.

Danielle: Oh, now that's a mature response.

Matthew: Why didn't you just tell me?

Danielle: Because I didn't want to. okay?..... Because I loved the way you looked at me...... God, do you have an idea how... forget it.

Matthew: Hold On...

Danielle: [shouts] Fuck you.

Eli: Dude, don't mess this up.

Matthew: Mess what up?

Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Okay? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!

Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.

Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her. Matthew, I tell you that you're going to regret this. What would JFK do? You know he'd tap that ass.

Matthew: Eli, you're never going to see her again.

Eli: Oh, you know what? Fine!

Matthew: Fine!

Eli: Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! Fuck her for me! For me!

Mr. Peterson: [while both receiving lap dances] So, what was the scholarship for?

Matthew: Moral fiber.

Klitz: - Dude, I'm kind of uncomfortable watching this with you.

Eli: Shh... Dude, learn to like it.

Matthew: It's not funny.

Danielle: It's a little funny.

Eli: Okay, you know what the three of us are? We're a tripod.

Klitz: A tripod?

Eli: Yes, a tripod. Which means that if you knock out one of our legs, WE-ALL-FALL!

Hugo Posh's Parrot: Cradle the balls!

April: [to Klitz] I know this isn't professional, but I think you're really cute.

Kelly: [Upon observing the cheerleaders and football players] Man, there is some talent here. You get those girls together with those assbags right there and shoot em humping at, like, a football game or at a prom, that video would sell - Fuck, I'm good! How do I get these ideas? It's like a gift, you know? It's like I can't control it.

Kelly: You wanna be president? Lemme tell you the first rule of politics; Always know if the juice is worth the squeeze. You know what that means? It means you don't steal my girl unless you're ready to accept the consequences.

Kelly: [When some high school girls like the idea that Kelly has weed; hits Klitz; Kelly gives Klitz a Ziplock bag filled with Marijuana and suddenly the girls are interested in him] Hey, you know who's got the killer bud? This fucker right here.

Eli: I just gotta fuck something.

Eli: God, I just wanna bang hot chicks!

Eli: Fine! Goddammit Matt! I swear to God if you don't fuck her, I'll kill myself! Matt! Please! Please! Matt! FUCK HER FOR ME! FOR ME!

Danielle: Hi, I'm all wet. Can I come in?

Danielle: Just go with it.

Danielle: [repeated line] What's the craziest thing you've done lately?

Matthew Kidman: Matthew Kidman. I will always remember... The three legs of the tripod. My business partner. My student advisor. The next Einstein. Eli's calling card. Klitz's big debut. My own scholarship to Georgetown. And of course, I'll never forget the girl next door. As for me, I'm just going with it.

Matthew Kidman: [mumbling] Moral fiber. So, what is moral fiber? It's funny, I used to think it was always telling the truth, doing good deeds, basically being a fucking boy scout. But lately I've been seeing it differently. Now I think moral fiber's about finding that one thing you really care about. That one special thing that means more to you than anything else in the world. And when you find her, you fight for her. You risk it all, you put her in front of everything, your future, your life, all of it. And maybe the stuff you do to help her isn't so clean. You know what? It doesn't matter. Because in your heart you know, that the juice is worth the squeeze. That's what moral fiber's all about.

Matthew Kidman: [after Kelly gives him ectasy] Oh my God, am I gonna die?!?

Matthew Kidman: [while giving Danielle a crumpled paper; Danielle uncrumples the paper and it is the drawing she made of the girl with lipstick at the table with Matthew] I just want you to know that I know who you really are, and you're better than this.