The Great Race (1965) - Quotes

Taglines: The movie with 20,000-mile or one-million-laughs guarantee!

Taglines: THE GREAT LAUGH SHOW OF ALL TIME!

Professor Fate: Escaped?

General Kushter: With a small friar.

Professor Fate: Leslie escaped with a chicken?

The Great Leslie: [measuring the iceberg] Thirty seven inches to go.

Professor Fate: Oh, 37 inches to go. Huzzah! At the rate we've been melting, that's good for about one more week!

The Great Leslie: You'd better keep it to yourself.

Professor Fate: Oh, of course I'll keep it to myself. Until the water reaches my lower lip, and then I'm gonna mention it to SOMEBODY!

Max: Professor, Where are you?

Professor Fate: Behind the rock!

Max: [falls over the professor] Behind which rock?

Professor Fate: This rock you idiot!

Professor Fate: Genius, Max, positive genius! What's next?

Max: Car number 5, the engine falls out!

Professor Fate: Car number 5, hah hah hah hah! Uh Max... we're number 5.

Professor Fate: My apologies, there's a polar bear in our car.

The Great Leslie: If you don't leave this car immediately, I shall personally feed you to the bear.

Lily Olay: I ain't no native, I was born here!

Texas Jack: [several times during a saloon fight] NOW can I have me some fightin room?!

Baron von Stuppe: [[Oliver Goldsmith|a very wise English gentleman] As ] once said, He who fights and runs away may live to fight another day'. So, until another day, Mr. Leslie, please excuse me, I have a boat waiting!

Maggie DuBois: Women have to emancipate themselves in order to emancipate men. So they can emancipate each other where it counts the most.

Maggie DuBois: You mean amazing because I'm a woman.

Maggie DuBois: I speak, read, and write French... Russian... and Arabic.

The Great Leslie: [to Maggie DuBois] You talk a good fight, but when it comes down to it, you're as emancipated as a confirmed spinster in a knitting bee.

Prince Hapnik: [throwing flour at General Kuhster] I don't care! I don't care! You're banished! I'm getting an new tucker-inner. Banished, banished, banished!

Prince Hapnik: [after throwing a pie at General Kuhster] You! You're the cause of it all! It was your idea!

Prince Hapnik: [after getting a pie in the face; gets a second pie in the face] Ulp? Brandy? Hah-hah, throw more brandy! Throw brandy! More Brandy! Rum! I never mix my pies. I want to play, too.

Professor Fate: Fate:Push the button, Max!

Professor Fate: [to Leslie, after Leslie allows him to win the race due to him proving his love for Maggie Dubois rather than beating him] I hate you! You, I hate! You, whose clothes are always white, and whose hair is always combed, and whose car is always clean! I refuse to accept! I challenge you to another race!

Professor Fate: Thieves, brigands and cut-throats of all nations may hound us... but we are ready for them... we shall blast them into Kingdom Come.

Professor Fate: [the men of the Sheriff of Boracho wearing indian hats are approaching them from behind believing they are going to attack him] Smokescreen Max! Give them the smokescreen! No, you idiot! The smokescreen! Push the button, Max!

Professor Fate: [to Maggie, after Maggie accidentally destroy his garage while confronting the dogs] A pox on you!

Professor Fate: [on numerous occasions.] Push the button, Max!

Professor Fate: [after crash landing into a mud puddle in the farm during a stunt] Well, there's another one, Leslie can try on for size.

Professor Fate: [covered in feathers after crashing during a stunt] I'd like to see the Great Leslie try THAT one!