29 quotes
Fear and Perception in Conversation
Ramu Gupta
Why are you afraid?
Kitty
What makes you think that I'm afraid?
Ramu Gupta
I feel it.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Illusion of the American Dream
Vijay
Do you know why they call it the American Dream? Because it only happens when you are asleep.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion on Losing Pants in the Film
Dwain
Alright, you wanna lose the pants?
Ramu Gupta
Is that part of the movie?
Dwain
Could be.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Celebration Over Kissing at the Wedding
Wedding father
Enough of this swapping of spit! Let's celebrate!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Heartfelt Declaration of Love
Hoseman
Rusty! My heart beats for you.
[everyone else looks around perplexed]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Debating John Travolta's Star Power
Ramu Gupta
I'm telling you. I'm the star, like John Travolta.
Roommate 1
Pulp Fiction" Travolta or "]" Travolta?
[[w:Urban Cowboy|Urban Cowboy]
Ramu Gupta
]" Travolta.
[[w:Grease (film)|Grease]
Roommate 1
How many lines do you have?
Ramu Gupta
I haven't seen the script yet.
Roommate 1
I know your lines, just like your lines in the restaurant. "Would you like chutney with your chapatis or poppadums with your paneer?
Roommate 2
Do you want nachos with your Big Gulp?
Ramu Gupta
Piss off, man.
Roommate 1
Oh, I'm sorry. Good for you, yaar. Come on, so tell us about it. What role are you playing?
Sanjiv
Man in turban working in gas station.
Ramu Gupta
You guys joke all you want, but this is a real movie and I am the star.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Abrasive Acknowledgment of Character Flaws
Ramu Gupta
You're a real bastard, you know that?
[upon seeing the apartment]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Conversations with a Pornstar
Sanjay
I talked to a real live pornstar... and she sounded naked!
[awestruck]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Self-Expression Through Intimacy and Identity
Sharonna
My pussy is the gateway to my soul.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Challenge of Finding Normalcy in New York
Sharonna
I'm engaged to a nice, normal guy. Do you know how hard it is to find a nice, normal guy in New York?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Reactions to a Movie Recommendation
Ramu Gupta
What are you watching?
[walks into the apartment, and Sanjay and Vijay are watching a porno with Sharonna in it]
Vijay
M-M-M-M-My Sharonna. Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm, Mmm.
[makes a sex motion]
Ramu Gupta
YOU BASTARDS! TURN IT OFF!
[jumps on Sanjay]
Sanjay
You've never seen Good Will Hunting?
Vijay
We also have Star Wars, Episode 69.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussing Famous Indians in America
Vijay
Name one famous Indian in America.
Sanjay
].
[[w:Apu Nahasapeemapetilon|That guy from the Simpsons]
Vijay
He is a cartoon!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Personal Story in an Audition Scene
Dwain
Next!
Ramu Gupta
I'm here for the audition. Ramu Gupta.
Dwain
Tell me something I don't know.
Ramu Gupta
My mother comes from Hyderabad. My father wanted to marry a Muslim girl, but his family wouldn't let him.
Dwain
Everybody's a comedian. What'd you say your name was?
Ramu Gupta
Ram Chandra Gupta. Actor. Dancer.
Dwain
Okay, Rammy, what would you say your specialty is?
Ramu Gupta
Well, I move smooth. I take instruction easily. I'm not afraid to try new things.
Dwain
Good. We like that. ]?
[[w:erection|How big are you hard]
Ramu Gupta
Yes, I work very hard.
Dwain
No. ]. How big is your johnson?
[[w:human penis|Your johnson]
Ramu Gupta
Johnson?
Dwain
Your wand. Your pork-sword. Your baloney pony.
Ramu Gupta
Would you like to see my Macarena?
Dwain
Is that what you call it in your part of the world? Let me see your Macarena.
Ramu Gupta
]!
[Ramu hums melody and starts dancing; [w:Macarena|Hey, Macarena]
Dwain
All right, you wanna lose the pants?
Ramu Gupta
Is that part of the movie?
Dwain
Could be.
Ramu Gupta
I get it. Like Tom Cruise in ]?
[[w:Risky Business|Risky Business; takes off pants and does a whole dance routine]
Dwain
All right! You know you could be big.
Ramu Gupta
Oh, yes, sir, very big.
Dwain
I can see that. I must say, most guys come in here, they wax the dolphin. That's it. It's over. You dance. I like that.
Ramu Gupta
Thank you.
Dwain
Plus you got this really interesting look. It's kind of an Oriental cabana boy thing. You're unique, Rammy. You could be a big star.
Ramu Gupta
Yes, sir. I know.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Embracing Individuality and Reflection
Ramu Gupta
You need to do your own thing. Live your own life.
[walks away angrily]
Lexi
I'm going to meditate on that.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Swami Bu's Journey to Another Dimension
Chantal
I give you Swami Bu.
Vijay
Swami, you're on. Swami Bu has gone to another dimension.
[a drunk Swami collapses]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Understanding Service and Perspective in Society
Lexi
Mother, when you realize that not all people of color were put here to serve you?
Chantal
Lexi, darling, how can say that? I've served food to the homeless. Good food. Food I'd eat myself if I still ate carbs.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Desires Beyond Basic Necessities
Vijay
You have a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food in your belly, what more do you want?
Ramu Gupta
I want what you promised.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Kitchen Conversation Between Chantal and Lexi
Chantal
Lexi, can I see you in the kitchen?
Lexi
Do you know where it is?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Unexpected Paths to the American Dream
Taglines
A comedy about finding the American dream in the most unexpected way.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Invisible Presence
Hank the Cameraman
Pretend that I'm not here.
[wedding guests are unaware that Hank is a porno cameramen]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Political Time Reference in Dialogue
Chantal
What's wrong? You haven't been up here since the Reagan administration.
[Edwin in her bedroom]
Edwin
It's Bush time.
[undresses; Chantal freaks out]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Holistic Approaches to Unconventional Problems
Rusty McGee
Why doesn't he have any tools?
[Ramu pretends to be fixing toilet after Rusty gets home early and surprises them]
Sharonna
He's a holistic plumber.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The New Lord of the Dance Arrives
Taglines
This Summer, There's A New Lord Of The Dance!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Television Discussion on Sexual Intercourse
Mira
Ramu is on TV!
Mrs. Gupta
What he is talking about?
Nana
Sexual intercourse.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
The Power of Thought and Desire
Ramu Gupta
The most powerful sexual organ is your brain. Think about it. Are you thinking?
[faces woman]
Turned-on Woman
My whole body is about to think!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Call for Immigration Awareness
Vijay
IMMIGRATION!
[shouting while knocking at the door of his roomates]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Questioning the Dance Moves of Rasphal
Rasphal the Cook
Is he doing the Macarena?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Confronting Fear of Abandonment
Sharonna
You can't just go away. I have abandonment issues!
[shouting]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Discussion About the Mercedes Status
Ramu Gupta
Is the Mercedes in the shop or something?
Vijay
Or something.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.