The Last Shot (2004) - Quotes

The Greatest Movie Never Made

Tagline: The true story of the greatest movie never made.

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Finding Scripts in Hollywood

Joe: Can you help me find a script?

Fanny: This is Hollywood. Just go outside and ask anyone you see to give you a script. A gardener, a cripple, a child molester. They've all got them.

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Struggles with Identity and Self-Image

Tommy: It's my face, Willie. The guys back home can't stand to look at me. I thought after the second surgery things would change.

Willie: Did you talk to that plastic surgeon?

Tommy: He said he wanted to take skin from my ass cheeks and put it on my face. I beat that cocksucker with his own chair.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Sympathy and Tension in Relationships

Jack: Sorry to hear about Sasha. I know you were close to that bitch.

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Remembering a Loyal Companion

Funeral Director: Joe, from the beautiful words you've written, it clear to me that Sasha wasn't just a great dog. She was a great friend.

Funeral Director: Sasha was loyal, she was compassionate, and she loved to shake.

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Tragic News About Joe's Dog

Joe: Delores, I have those presents I want to give to Sasha. Where is she?

Delores: I'm sorry, sir. Your dog is dead. She killed herself.

Joe: What?

Delores: The Jacuzzi. She threw herself into the Jacuzzi. I tried to find you. It was horrible.

Joe: Oh, no. Maybe she fell in.

Delores: Oh, there was a witness. Alejandro, the gardener's son. It was suicide.

Joe: Suicide?

Delores: She was lonely. She couldn't stand it anymore.

Joe: They why the fuck didn't you go outside and play with her? Throw the little red ball with her?

Delores: I'm sorry, Mr. Devine. I know you loved that dog. On Tuesday, she dug up all the flowers and then took a dump in the kitchen. I believe that was her note.

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Tension Escalates Before Movie Begins

Joe: What are you going to do to me?

Ed, Jr.: Movie starts in 3 minutes. If you don't tell us where the money is, we're going to cut you fingers off during the opening credits.

Wally: Titles. Credits come at the end of the movies. Titles come first.

Ed, Jr.: Fine. Titles. We're going to cut them off during the fucking titles.

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Lunch Preferences and Dietary Restrictions

Fanny: You do not want to eat lunch off my ass.

Fanny: You want to eat lunch off my ass? I thought you were kosher.

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Hollywood Protocol and Personal Realities

Joe: At this time, I would like to introduce Fanny Nash, the producer of the hit comedy "No Means No" to discuss proper Hollywood protocol.

Fanny: [[Harrison Ford] I am over 35 years old. I am physically unable to bear children. And I pay alimony to my ex-husband, who is a faggot. Yet I am willing to bet that all of you would fuck me over that desk right now if you knew you'd be having lunch with ] as soon as you blew your wad. If you want to carry yourself like you're in the movie business, you need to act like the big dog, Clifford. And remember that everyone in the entire world is desperate to play with your big red balls.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.