Tooth Fairy (2010) - Quotes

Taglines: You can't handle the tooth.

Taglines: The tooth hurts.

Derek Thompson: Randy.

Randy: What are you doing here?

Derek Thompson: I have to talk to you.

Randy: Go away.

Derek Thompson: Listen. Those things I said yesterday, I was wrong.

Randy: I don't care.

Derek Thompson: You gotta keep playing guitar. You're really good. And nothing you love doing that much could ever be a waste of time. I am so sorry.

Randy: Even if I wanted to, I can't. I smashed my guitar, remember? Tonight is the Talent Show.

Derek Thompson: [makes a new guitar for Randy with his magic wand] Hold on a second. Maybe this will help.

Randy: Whoa, it's awesome. How did you do that?

Derek Thompson: All-purpose magic generator.

Derek Thompson: Tess.

Tess: Derek.

Derek Thompson: Hi, honey.

Tess: Hi, Derek. I like your costume.

Derek Thompson: I have to tell you something. I was wrong. The tooth fairy. It's real and it's me.

Tess: I know.

Derek Thompson: No, honey, I am not talking about the hockey tooth fairy. I am a real tooth fairy.

Tess: No, you're not.

Tess: You are the real tooth fairy.

Derek Thompson: It will just be our secret, okay.

Tess: Okay.

Derek Thompson: Why are you here?

Tracy: [shows a permit showing he's now a tooth fairy in-training] Lily gave me this. Obviously, it's just a permit but the main thing is I am on the way.

Derek Thompson: [[Open Season 2|Okay well, you should be on your way out of my place. I am going to bed.] ]

Tracy: No, this is all thanks to you. We got to go out and celebrate. I know a place where all the hot fairy godmothers hang out.

Derek Thompson: Are you out of your mind?! I just lost everything that's important to me! My girlfriend, those kids. And I will probably just hang out my skates for good. All because like an idiot I bought into your tooth fairy garbage. And look where it's gotten me!

Tracy: What? You make one effort after all these years and it doesn't work out and suddenly you're just gonna give up? It's not suppose to be that easy. And you know it.

Derek Thompson: I will tell you what I do know. I know that you don't have wings. So that means you can't fly. That also means that you can never ever ever be a tooth fairy. And what happens if you try to escape out of a 10-storey building? I will tell you what happens. Splat! Just like that.

Tracy: [unfazed by Derek's words] You know what's really sad? The person you hurt the most with all your dream killing is not Randy or Carly or even me. It's you.

Derek Thompson: Get out.

Derek Thompson: [driving in his car when he sees Carly and her kids; gets out the car to see them] Oh great...

Carly: Hey honey, how was your game?

Derek Thompson: Not good.

Tess: Derek, guess what? I have another loose tooth.

Derek Thompson: Good for you, honey.

Carly: What's the matter, hon?

Derek Thompson: Everything. Nothing, you know. Forget it.

Randy: Can we go practice now?

Derek Thompson: You know what, can we skip today's session. I just don't have it in me.

Randy: But the Talent Show's tomorrow night.

Derek Thompson: You will be fine.

Randy: I need at least one more run through it.

Derek Thompson: No, you don't, okay.

Randy: No, I do need it. I just need a little more practice. Just so I can get down.

Derek Thompson: [snaps; Randy stares, feeling hurt] Hey, hey, hey! It doesn't matter what you do in the Talent Show. You're never gonna be a famous rock star. You're just gonna be another kid with a guitar. So do yourself a favor and just give it up, okay?

Carly: Derek, (please...)

Derek Thompson: [with his dreams crushed, Randy tearfully smashes his guitar on the ground like a blue shell from Mario Kart. Carly gasps, Tess looks on in shock, while Randy gives one last tearful look at Derek, who looks guilty, before picking up his broken guitar and heading to the car] Look, baby. I am sorry but it's for his own good. Trust me.

Randy: [sobbing] Come on, Tess! (Tess, let's go!)

Carly: [moans in disappointment over Derek's actions] What is wrong with you?!

Derek Thompson: (Look.) I had a bad day.

Carly: You had a bad day?!

Derek Thompson: Yeah, I had a bad day, okay.

Carly: [Carly starts heading back to her car] No, no. That is not okay! You are never gonna speak to my children again! We are done.

Derek Thompson: Carly.

Carly: [sadly; Carly drives off, leaving Derek feeling awful about what he just did] You know what your problem is, Derek? You can't say what if. And you never will.

Derek Thompson: Does this tutu make my butt look big?

Lily: Huge.

Derek Thompson: I'm the Tooth Fairy.

Randy: Thought you said you were a vampire. You got some inconsistent mythology.

Lily: You might just be the worst tooth fairy ever!

Derek "The Tooth Fairy" Thompson: I can shrink down to six inches.

Derek "The Tooth Fairy" Thompson: You can't handle the Tooth! And that's the Tooth, the whole Tooth and nothing but the Tooth! I pledge allegiance to the Tooth.