30 quotes
Monty's Unfiltered Thoughts on Desire
Monty
I'd do her (Amy). Hell I'd probably even pay. ...I would.
[chuckles]
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Oral Fixation and Playful Confidence
Monty
Everyone knows that I'm orally fixated, and you can't deny that I played your vagina like a ].
[[violin]
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Frustration with Workplace Conditions
Naomi
I hate this fucking place sometimes, you know. Why the fuck do we need four more people on at this time of day, man? Look at this place, it's fucking dead! I swear, Dan needs to clean the *shit* out of his fucking brain sometimes, man. Fucking asshole. What are you looking at, fuck-wad?
[Sees Mitch for the first time]
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Naomi's Dual Nature at Work
Monty
That's Naomi, and she's been working here WAY too long. But, she's actually a pretty sweet girl...when she's drunk.
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Monty's Assurance About Safety
Monty
Come on, Mom. Of course I'm being safe. I pull out.
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The Duality of Relationships
Monty
With ], it's always one of two things. Either they won't sleep with you, and then there's really no need to ever call them again. Or they DO sleep with you... and then there's really no need to ever call them again.
[[women]
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Monty's Unfiltered Opinion on Certain Individuals
Monty
Those guys should be sterilized, and I'm not kidding at all.
[Regarding Nick and T-Dog]
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Service with a Side of Humor
Floyd
Sir yes sir! Blue cheese for you stat! Have a good day big guy.
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Floyd's Bold Introduction to the Thunderdome
Floyd
Welcome to the Thunderdome, bitch!
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Expression of Frustration Towards Foreigners
Naomi
Foreigners! I fucking hate foreigners!
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Unexpected Discoveries in the Back Room
Monty
Nothing worse than going to the back room for some condiments and ending up staring at a huge, steamy pile of cock.
[Shudders]
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Observation of table 12's patrons
Monty
Did you see the tits at table 12?
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Embracing Change and Taking Risks
Floyd
Yeah! Carpe deez nuts! God, I can't wait to quit this job!
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Challenging Stereotypes in Gender and Sexuality
Monty
I know what you're thinking now. You think we're all gay, don't you? Think we're all just a bunch of deviant lifestyle-living same-sex having motherfuckers, am I right? Well, listen. You can put that faggoty baby to bed right now. None of the guys that work here are gay. I mean, I'll stick my finger up my ass every now and then when I'm feeling a little squirelly, but that's about the extent of it.
[In the bathroom with Mitch, his shirt off; Puts his shirt back on]
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Understanding Attraction Dynamics Among Peers
Monty
It's okay, I understand how it works. Birds of a feather flock to vagina.
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Consequences of Breaking Food Handling Etiquette
Monty
I guess we should feel some sort of guilt, but she broke the cardinal rule: Don't fuck with people who handle your food.
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Monty's Observation on Aging and Perception
Monty
Dean, doesn't my mom look old? I mean, much older than she rightfully should?
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Kitchen Secrets Reflect on the Plate
Motto/Slogan
What happens in the kitchen, ends up on the plate.
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Views on Parenthood and Sexual Preferences
Monty
You think I want to have kids? Absolutely not. That's why I stick to anal sex.
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Establishing Mitch's Status Among Peers
Monty
All right everybody, listen up, from here on out, Mitch is a made man. Anyone who has anything different to say, Nick and T-Dog will fuckin cut you!
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Frustration in the Kitchen
Naomi
What!? (to Mitch) What do you want?! Get back in the fucking training room, you ass cock! God damn these fucking cooks. I hate them...I HATE THEM! Twenty minutes for two medium rare steaks. This is bullshit! They need to get rid of everyone of these lousy cock sucking...! (She emerges from the kitchen) So how is everything?
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
A Rough Night for New Employees
Monty
Mitch, you picked a fucked-up night to start working here.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Monty's Perspective on Women
Monty
Women. They're so fucking wiley.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Floyd expresses frustration with a strong remark
Floyd
Fuck you, bitch!
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Frustration with Unwanted Advice and Expectations
Naomi
(to Bishop, after offering her anger management counciling) You would do that for me? I appreciate that. I really do. But I think I'd rather you just WASH THE FUCKING DISHES AND SHUT THE FUCK UP! Fucking psychobabble bullshit asshole!
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.
Acceptance of Frustration
Monty
OH, WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER!
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A Reflection on Time and Wisdom
Monty
It's like a horrible time paradox, where neither our wisdom, nor your ] ever escape.
[[virginity]
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Unexpected Arrival at My Doorstep
Monty
And as if some kind of ] magic, POOF, you appear at my door
[[slut]
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A Provocative Question on Intimacy
Monty
Correct me if I'm wrong, but haven’t I been inside you?
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Salad Order Without Bacon
Floyd
Yes Masta..Right away, Masta..Ain't gonna be no bacon on the salad, Masta...no bacon..oh no no no.
Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.