Wayne's World Quotes

Glen the Manager Anything wrong, Davy?

Davy Yeah, I got paid today.

Glen Yeah, I know what that's like.

Davy No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of these.

Glen Yeah, I know how that feels.

Davy Know what I'd like to do?

Glen Yeah, I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.

Davy Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.

Glen Well...the world's a twisted place.

Wayne Campbell So, do you... come to Milwaukee often?

Alice Cooper Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.

Pete In fact, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?

Cooper Yes, Pete, it is. Actually it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que," which is Algonquin for, "the good land.

Wayne I was not aware of that.

Cooper I think one of the most interesting aspects of Milwaukee is the fact that it's the only major American city to have ever elected three socialist mayors.

Wayne Does this guy know how to party or what! ...Eh? Eh? Uh. Okay... Well, we gotta get going.

Alice Cooper No, no, no, stick around, hang out with us.

Stacy Don't you want to open your present?

Wayne If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset.

Wayne Campbell Yes, officer, is there something wrong?

Traffic Cop ]

Wayne AAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAHHH!!!

Wayne Campbell Am I supposed to be a man?! am I supposed to say "That's okay, I don't mind"? I don't mind. Well, I mind! I mind big-time! And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.

Cassandra Is that true?

Wayne Yes, everything except the reading part.

Terry I love you, man.

Russell And I love you. Because I've learned that platonic love can exist between two grown men.

Benjamin Kane And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America, almost to the top, but it can't get you everything.

Wayne Isn't it great we're all better people?

Wayne & Garth FISHED IN!

Wayne Campbell Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a ] of Chicago — excellent. I've had plenty of joe-jobs; nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets. OK, so I still live with my parents, which I admit is both bogus and sad. But at least I have an amazing cable access show! And I still know how to party! But what I'd really love is to do "Wayne's World" for a living. It might happen! Sh'yeah! And monkeys might fly outta my butt! Ah, the MirthMobile...

Benjamin Kane Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is, he's the sponsor, and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.

Wayne Campbell ] pizza box] Well, that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.

Benjamin Sorry you feel that way, but basically, it's the nature of the beast.

Wayne Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Garth Algar ] sportswear] It's like people only do things because they get paid. And that's just really sad.

Wayne I can't talk about it anymore. It's giving me a headache.

Garth Here, take two of these. ] into Wayne's hand, which is seen in black-and-white save for the yellow pills]

Wayne Ahh, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.

Benjamin Look, you can stay here in the big-leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice.

Wayne ].] Yes, and it's The Choice of a New Generation.

Wayne Campbell There it is-- Excalibur.

Cassandra Wow. 64 ] in classic white with triple single coil pickups and a whammy bar.

Wayne Campbell Pre-CBS Fender corporate buy-out.

Cassandra I'd raise the bridge, file down the nut, and take the buzz out of the low "E.

Wayne God, I love this woman. Hi, Garth. Where's the clerk? I know. I'll use the "May I help you" riff.

Attendant May I help you?

Wayne Yes, my good man. I'd like to have a look at this Fender Stratocaster, please.

Attendant Oh really?

Wayne Yes.

Attendant Again?

Wayne Yes.

Attendant Careful. Hey! ]" sign]

Wayne No Stairway. Denied!