Wayne's World (1992) - Quotes

Terry: I love you, man.

Russell: And I love you. Because I've learned that platonic love can exist between two grown men.

Benjamin Kane: And I've learned something, too. I've learned that a flawless profile, a perfect body, the right clothes, and a great car can get you far in America, almost to the top, but it can't get you everything.

Wayne: [Wayne and Garth step forward] Isn't it great we're all better people?

Wayne & Garth: FISHED IN!

Wayne Campbell: Yes, officer, is there something wrong?

Traffic Cop: [holds up photo; [w:Terminator 2: Judgment Day|Have you seen this boy?] ]

Wayne: [looks at camera; looks forward; floors it] AAAAAAAHHHH! AAAAHHH!!!

Glen the Manager: Anything wrong, Davy?

Davy: Yeah, I got paid today.

Glen: Yeah, I know what that's like.

Davy: [holds up pink slip] No. You don't understand. They laid me off. I got one of these.

Glen: Yeah, I know how that feels.

Davy: Know what I'd like to do?

Glen: Yeah, I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still-beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.

Davy: [blinks] Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.

Glen: Well...the world's a twisted place.

Wayne Campbell: So, do you... come to Milwaukee often?

Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers were coming here as early as the late 1600s to trade with the Native Americans.

Pete: In fact, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?

Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. Actually it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que," which is Algonquin for, "the good land.

Wayne: I was not aware of that.

Cooper: I think one of the most interesting aspects of Milwaukee is the fact that it's the only major American city to have ever elected three socialist mayors.

Wayne: [everyone stares blankly at Wayne.] Does this guy know how to party or what! ...Eh? Eh? Uh. Okay... Well, we gotta get going.

Alice Cooper: No, no, no, stick around, hang out with us.

Benjamin Kane: Listen, we need to have a talk about Vanderhoff. The fact is, he's the sponsor, and you signed a contract guaranteeing him certain concessions, one of them being a spot on the show.

Wayne Campbell: [With a [[w:Pizza Hut|Pizza Hut; Pulls a slice out of the box, and poses] ] pizza box] Well, that's where I see things just a little differently. Contract or no, I will not bow to any sponsor.

Benjamin: Sorry you feel that way, but basically, it's the nature of the beast.

Wayne: [holding a bag of [[w:Doritos|Doritos; Eats a chip and poses] Maybe I'm wrong on this one, but for me, the beast doesn't include selling out. Garth, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Garth Algar: [dressed head-to-toe in [[w:Reebok|Reebok] ] sportswear] It's like people only do things because they get paid. And that's just really sad.

Wayne: I can't talk about it anymore. It's giving me a headache.

Garth: [drops two [[w:Nuprin|Nuprin] Here, take two of these. ] into Wayne's hand, which is seen in black-and-white save for the yellow pills]

Wayne: Ahh, Nuprin. Little. Yellow. Different.

Benjamin: Look, you can stay here in the big-leagues and play by the rules, or you can go back to the farm club in Aurora. It's your choice.

Wayne: [Holds up a can of [[w:Pepsi|Pepsi; Takes a sip and smiles to the camera] ].] Yes, and it's The Choice of a New Generation.

Wayne Campbell: [splashing water on his face to simulate tears and pretending to sob; title saying '''OSCAR SCENE''' appears] Am I supposed to be a man?! am I supposed to say "That's okay, I don't mind"? I don't mind. Well, I mind! I mind big-time! And you know what the worst part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.

Cassandra: Is that true?

Wayne: Yes, everything except the reading part.

Stacy: Don't you want to open your present?

Wayne: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset.

Wayne Campbell: ["kneels" in respect] There it is-- Excalibur.

Cassandra: [[w:Fender Stratocaster|Fender Stratocaster] Wow. 64 ] in classic white with triple single coil pickups and a whammy bar.

Wayne Campbell: Pre-CBS Fender corporate buy-out.

Cassandra: I'd raise the bridge, file down the nut, and take the buzz out of the low "E.

Wayne: [To the camera; reacts at Garth who just walked into some chimes; picks up another guitar and does a heavy metal riff] God, I love this woman. Hi, Garth. Where's the clerk? I know. I'll use the "May I help you" riff.

Attendant: May I help you?

Wayne: [puts down guitar] Yes, my good man. I'd like to have a look at this Fender Stratocaster, please.

Attendant: Oh really?

Wayne: Yes.

Attendant: Again?

Wayne: Yes.

Attendant: [opens plastic case and gives Stratocaster to Wayne; Wayne starts strumming some chords but the attendant knows the song; stops Wayne and points him and Cassandra to a "[[w:Stairway to Heaven (song)|NO STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN] Careful. Hey! ]" sign]

Wayne: [to camera] No Stairway. Denied!

Wayne Campbell: [[suburb] Let me bring you up to speed. My name is Wayne Campbell. I live in Aurora, Illinois, which is a ] of Chicago — excellent. I've had plenty of joe-jobs; nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way: I have an extensive collection of nametags and hairnets. OK, so I still live with my parents, which I admit is both bogus and sad. But at least I have an amazing cable access show! And I still know how to party! But what I'd really love is to do "Wayne's World" for a living. It might happen! Sh'yeah! And monkeys might fly outta my butt! Ah, the MirthMobile...