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reviews

36
Based on 29 Reviews
critic reviews (10)
fan reviews ( 27 )
  • 25
    Mick LaSalle San Francisco Chronicle

    Morgan Freeman's voice is heard as the narrator, which is in itself the stuff of parody. Then we listen and get lost within two sentences, because the narration is so poorly written that Freeman himself probably didn't know what he was talking about. show more

  • 38
    Scott Bowles USA Today

    Conan the Barbarian lives by a pretty simple ethos: He lives, he loves, he slays. What he doesn't do, alas, is act. show more

  • 20
    Joe Neumaier New York Daily News

    With the most growling and grunting of any movie this summer - and that includes those apes perched atop the box office - Conan the Barbarian seems at times to have actually been made by barbarians. show more

  • 30
    Kirk Honeycutt The Hollywood Reporter

    There is no purpose to the film other than random blood splattering amid scenes of bondage, primitive savagery and S&M eroticism. The film is numbing and dumb with its hero indistinguishable from its villains. show more

  • 20
    Scott Tobias NPR

    There are swords and sorcery, pirates and monsters, taxed bodices and taxing mythology. In other words, there's the bare minimum necessary to summon this dismal movie into existence. show more

  • 45
    Stephanie Zacharek Movieline

    The movie's look is artificially grainy, and most of the scenes are encrusted with CGI - you'd have to chip it away with a chisel to get to anything human or interesting or even remotely fantastical. show more

  • 63
    Kyle Smith New York Post

    It has a certain commitment to its cause, and by that I mean it supplies the necessary flayings, slayings, beheadings and, um, a be-nose-ing, all of it dancing to the tune of those amusingly stilted He-Man declaratives - King James Bible cadences applied to comic-book visions. It knows it's a B movie, and gets on with it. show more

  • 50
    Michael Phillips Chicago Tribune

    It's mostly noise and splurch and, as I mentioned, aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh! show more

  • 50
    Roger Moore Orlando Sentinel

    Take away much of the myth, most of the sorcery and all of the humor of the 1982 John Milius-Arnold Schwarzenegger version of the sword and sorcery epic "Conan the Barbarian" and you've got an idea what the new "Conan" is like. show more

  • 38
    Roger Ebert Chicago Sun-Times

    A brutal, crude, witless high-tech CGI contrivance, in which no artificial technique has been overlooked, including 3-D. show more

  • March 06, 2012 ym00000000110767
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    Great

  • December 10, 2011 pt00000000108784
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    Horrible, pass away from this film, is one of the worst remakes I\'ve ever seen, completely offended the history of classic character. A movie trash that is best done by this succession of horrors, awful story, horrible special effects, fights evil tested, only the actor Jason Momoa is saved well by incorporating the role of Conan. For the rest go away from this film

  • November 25, 2011 Roger Collins
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    I\'m 55 and went to see Arnold\'s version back when I was in my 20\'s. Although I enjoyed his version better. I still enjoyed this one. I was in the mood for action and that\'s what I got. I went into it realizing that the action would overshadow the acting (it usually does in strong action flicks) so I was not bothered by it. Despite this I thought the movie was still pretty good.

  • November 06, 2011 Justin
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    This guy is a little to puny to fill the shoes of Arnold. Needed to bulk up just a little bit more to play this role. Good action not enough acting

  • September 11, 2011 ph00000000101798
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    I absolutely loved Conan! I am BIG fan of Jason Momoa first and foremost but I enjoyed the show itself also. Yes there was a lot of blood etc. but they are barbarians, back then it\'s how they lived. I\'m going to see it again just as soon as I can! :-)

  • September 05, 2011 emedina2k5
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    awsome movie alot of action.

  • September 05, 2011 rv00000000100821
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    I normally enjoy this type of movie.. but this one I was not feeling it

  • September 04, 2011 Dmoongo
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    Little plot, too much dizzying action, soundtrack erased most dialogue. Sucked.

  • September 02, 2011 Kathy
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    Way to much action....fight after fight after fight. Not much of a story.....we were laughing in the movie and saying \"is this thing ever going to get any better\" and it never did!!!! Just sad I stayed and watched the whole thing.

  • August 29, 2011 franknav1
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    What happened to the movie industry? What sad dissapointment. first movie I have been to in a long time because they had been so very disappointing, blood, shooting, car chase\'s and oh yes, sex! What the heck? is going on. When they kiss on screen it seems they were coached to let their tonsils hang out before their lips touch!!! WTFO!!! Sickening and totally amatuerish. What the hell is going on with the producers in thinking this is what the public movie attendees want? Maybe this is what the young and middle aged movie goers want? Now wonder our country is so fxxxxx-up!! With a ghost as President, with no past and no experience, what right do I have to expect decent movies like days of old?? I have seen Casabanca so many times now I need something new of quality entertainment! And they? still go to movies for this crap??

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