Burt Reynolds Quotes

Smokey and the Bandit II

Misunderstanding Over a Piece in Hand

Buford T. Justice Well as you can see, Bandit, I've got my piece in my hand.

[leaning against his car with his gun pointed at Bandit]

Bandit You've got your WHAT in your hand?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boogie Nights

Anticipation of Hidden Beauty

Jack Horner I got a feeling that behind those jeans is something wonderful just waiting to get out.

[to Dirk]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boogie Nights

The Dream of Engaging Cinematic Storytelling

Jack Horner But you gotta get the people in the theater. You know, you need ]...

[[Pornography|the big dicks, the big tits]

Amber Waves Uh oh, here we go.

Jack Horner How do you keep them in the theater after they've ]? The beauty and the acting. No, I understand you've got to get em in the theater. You know, you've got to get the seats full. But I don't want to make a film where they show up, they sit down, they jack off, and they get up and they get out before the story ends. It is my dream, it is my goal, it is my idea to make a film where the story just sucks them in. And when they spurt out that ], they've got to just sit in it. They can't move until they find out how the story ends. You know, I want to make a film like that. And I understand, they have to make films...I've made them myself, you know where there's a few laughs, everyone fucks their brains out. And that's fine. But it's my dream to make a film that is true and right and dramatic.

[[Orgasm|come; [W:semen|joy juice]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Deliverance

Finding Yourself in Loss and Change

Lewis Medlock Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything...A couple more months, she'll all be gone...from Aintry on up. One big dead lake.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Driven

Confronting the Nature of Fear

Carl Henry What about the fear?

Joe Tanto It's gone.

Carl Henry The fear is never gone.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Longest Yard

Importance of Protecting the Quarterback

Paul Crewe The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback - ME!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Longest Yard

Prison Hustles and Unexpected Offers

Paul Crewe Whattya got for me, Sunshine?

Caretaker I can get you steroids, vitamins, greenies, anything you want. You name it. I'm the best hustler in the joint.

Paul Crewe How much of what this guy says he can do, can he do?

Nate Scarboro He can get you laid in here... with a woman.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boogie Nights

Creating Film History on Videotape

Jack Horner We're about to make film history, right here... on videotape.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boogie Nights

Clarifying Misunderstandings Between Friends

Jack Horner Alright, you didn't know how old she was, and you just brought her back to your place, that's all. You didn't do anything.

Colonel James No.

Jack Horner You didn't do anything, right?

Colonel James No! You know me, Jack.

Jack Horner Alright.

Colonel James It's just...they found ] at the house.

[[W:child pornography|something else]

Jack Horner What?

Colonel James Well, it's just...it's my fucking weakness, Jack. ]

[[Pedophilia|They're so cute. They're so small. They're so adorable.]

Jack Horner Ah, Jesus...

[disgusted]

Colonel James I don't touch them, Jack! I don't touch them in any way! Now you think I'm an asshole. Now, I love you, Jack, you know that. Now, there's just one thing I wanna know. Are you gonna be my friend? Are you my friend, Jack?

Jack Horner Alright.

[puts the phone down and gets up to leave]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Longest Yard

Struggling with Burdens Despite Having Control

Paul Crewe You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Cannonball Run

Priests in a Ferrari: A Unique Blessing

Fenderbaum Pull over! We want to give you our blessing!

[Fenderbaum and Blake's Ferrari drives alongside J.J.'s ambulance]

Victor Prinsi J.J., there are two priest in that car. They want us to pull over.

J.J. McClure Victor, that's two priests driving a Ferrari. When's the last time you saw two priests drive a Ferrari? What are they doing, taking home the bingo money?

Victor Prinsi No, they're doing the work of the Lord. In a Ferrari, they can just do it faster.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Bacon and Squirrel Conversation

Dan Mott Mmm, bacon.

Del Knox Squirrel.

Dan Mott Mmm, squirrel.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boogie Nights

Financing and Expectations in Filmmaking

Jack Horner The Colonel here puts up all the money for our films. It's an important part of the process.

Eddie Adams Great.

Colonel James I'm looking forward to seeing you in action. Jack says you've got a great big cock.

Eddie Adams Well, I don't know, I guess so.

Colonel James May I see it?

Eddie Adams Really?

Colonel James Please!

[stares as Eddie lowers his shorts]

Colonel James Thank you, Eddie.

Eddie Adams No problem.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Smokey and the Bandit Part 3

Caught in a Figurative Situation

Buford T. Justice   I gotcha!

The Real Bandit   Hello, Buford.  Well, you caught me with my pants down.

Buford T. Justice   I did?

The Real Bandit   That's a…figure of speech.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Mystery, Alaska

Judge's Dismissal of Hockey Discussion

Judge Walter Burns Mr. Pruitt, I don't want to hear about Price World, and I don't want to hear another word about a hockey game. We talked about that.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Boogie Nights

Choosing a Name in Boogie Nights

Eddie Adams Jack, I was thinking about my name, y'know?

Jack Horner Yeah?

Eddie Adams I was wondering if you had any ideas.

Jack Horner I've got a few, but you tell me.

Eddie Adams Well, my idea was, y'know, I want a name, I want it so it can cut glass, y'know, razor sharp.

Jack Horner Tell me.

Eddie Adams When I close my eyes, I see this thing. A sign. I see this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign...it just blows up because the name is so powerful. It says, "Dirk Diggler." What do you think?

Jack Horner I think...that's a great name.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Cannonball Run II

Humorous Exchange on Costumed Characters

Fenderbaum It's General Patton and general admission.

J.J. McClure Heckle and Jeckle dressed as cops. They oughta arrest their minds for vagrancy.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Cannonball Run

Highway Destruction and Its Impact

Mr. Foyt Well, how do you all feel now you have raped the American highways?

J.J. McClure Beautiful!

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Cannonball Run II

A Reunion Between Old Friends

Captain Chaos J.J. ... Long time, no see.

J.J. McClure Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.

Captain Chaos Have no fear, "Him" is here.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Smokey and the Bandit II

Pursuit Dynamics Between Bandit and Justice

Buford T. Justice You ain't getting away from me Bandit, I'm still in hot pursuit!

[over Bandit's CB radio, just after the showdown in the desert]

Bandit I copy that Buford....but from what I hear your pursuit ain't that hot!

[cuts to Justice's car, which is revealed to be a barely driveable wreck that has been bent in half with no roof]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

A Long Wait in the Cabin

Del Knox I'd get dressed faster if I were you cause I've been alone in this cabin for 30 years.

[after giving the nearly naked guys clothes]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

The Longest Yard

Assessing Prospects Against Professional Teams

Warden Hazen How do you think we'd do against the pros?

Paul Crewe That team against the pros?

Warden Hazen Yeah.

Paul Crewe Well, you'd have a real problem.

Warden Hazen Well, how do you think we'd do against the cons?

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Deliverance

Embracing Self-Identity and Personal Choice

Lewis Medlock I sleep at night. I have no worries. I am becoming myself, as inconsequential as that may be. I am not something that somebody shoved off on me. I am what I chose to be, and I am it.

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Without a Paddle

Del Knox's Challenge to His Opponents

Del Knox When you peckawoods get your diapers cleaned come back! I'll be waiting!

[after scaring off Dennis and Elwood]

Quotes sourced from Wikiquote (© Wikiquote contributors), licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0. Modified for formatting/length.

Smokey and the Bandit II

Mysterious Incident Involves Elephants and Confusion

Bandit Who did it?

[finding out Charlotte's pregnant]

Cledus Snow Don't look at me.

Doc Probably another elephant.

Bandit I know that, when did it happen?

Doc Long time ago.

Boogie Nights

A Flirtatious Encounter Between Two Characters

Amber Waves What are you looking at?

Jack Horner I'm looking at you.

Amber Waves You're staring.

Jack Horner You know what I'm staring at? I'm staring at the foxiest bitch in the whole world.

Without a Paddle

Confronting Inappropriate Behavior

Del Knox Freeze you perverts!

[After finding Dan, Jerry and Tom in their boxers]

The Cannonball Run

Ambulance Capacity Causes Misunderstanding

J.J. McClure Thanks to you, Victor, we do not have a female patient in the back.

Victor Prinsi Well, it's not my fault that she didn't fit in the stretcher!

J.J. McClure She doesn't fit in the AMBULANCE!

The Longest Yard

The Value of Resilience and Courage

Paul Crewe Nate, if you're thinking about winning this game, then you're as crazy as he is.

Nate Scarboro Well, maybe so. But you spend fourteen years in this tank, you begin to understand that you've only got two thing left they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you. Your balls. And you better hang onto them, because they're about the only thing you're gonna have when you get out of here.

Bean

Confusion Between Art and Chaos

General Newton I don't know the difference between Picasso and a car crash.

The Longest Yard

Introduction of Characters and Their Backgrounds

Paul Crewe What's his name?

Caretaker Indian.

Paul Crewe That makes sense.

Paul Crewe Paul Crewe. Heard you played some football.

The Indian Yeah.

Paul Crewe Where?

The Indian Oklahoma State.

Paul Crewe Oklahoma State U?

The Indian Prison.

Paul Crewe Well, first thing we have to do is get you out of here.

The Indian How?

Paul Crewe Well, we'll work on it.

The Longest Yard

Regret in the Face of Authority

Paul Crewe You know, there's only one thing I'm sorry about.

Warden Hazen What's that, Mr. Crewe?

Paul Crewe That you're not out here with us knockin heads.

Warden Hazen I'm afraid I'm a little old for that.

Paul Crewe No, you never had the guts to begin with!

The Longest Yard

Introduction to a Notorious Character

Caretaker Well, there he is. Connie Shokner, baddest cat in the joint. Even the guards are scared of him. He killed three people on the outside and two since he's been in here.

Paul Crewe Yeah, that karate's some bad stuff.

Caretaker Oh, that was before he learned karate.

Paul Crewe Say, what's he doing now?

Caretaker Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.

Cannonball Run II

Nuclear Meltdown Excuse in Connecticut Transport

CHP Officer What are you boys trying to pull?

J.J. McClure There's been a nuclear meltdown and we're transporting some contaminated materials to Connecticut.

CHP Officer Well, why Connecticut?

J.J. McClure They ran out.

Boogie Nights

The Future of Filmmaking: Tape vs. Film

Floyd Gondolli This is the future. Videotape tells the truth.

Jack Horner Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, which is why I will never make a movie on tape. I'll tell you something else. I will never, ever loan out any of the actors that I have under contract.

Floyd Gondolli Wait, Jack, I'm not a complicated man. I like cinema. In particular, I like to see people fucking on film. But I don't want to win an Oscar, and I don't want to reinvent the wheel. I like simple pleasures...like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy. Call me crazy, call me a pervert, but there's one little thing I want to do in this life, and that is to make a dollar and a cent in this business. I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm trying to help you stay one step ahead of the game.

Memorable Quotes from Burt Reynolds