Craig RobinsonQuotes

Nick: [pretending to speak Russian] D-d-do svidanya! Do svidanya! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Priviet! Na zdorovie!translation: "G-g-goodbye! Goodbye! Martina Navratilova... "Smirnoff Ice"... Hello! You're welcome!

Nick: [upon seeing their hotel for the first time in years] Muthafucka.

Nick: [deadpans into camera] It must be some kind of hot tub time machine...

Nick: [on being stuck in the 80's] How am I supposed to get a job?

Nick: Enrique fuckin Iglesias!

Zack Brown: I've known her since the first grade. You don't fuck someone you met in the first grade.

Delaney: Excuse me, I met my wife in kindergarten. We got married senior year, and she's been the queen of my world ever since.

Zack Brown: But what if you could do it all over again?

Delaney: I would jerk off and live by myself. That woman is the bane of my existence.

Zack Brown: Delaney, my friend, you are On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over.

Delaney: Man, I can't be in no porno. My wife will kill me.

Miriam Linky: Hump me, On-Ur-Knees Bend-Over. You're my only hump.

Delaney: On the other hand, fuck my wife.

Customer: Can I get a coffee, black?

Delaney: Can't you see we talking, white?

Delaney: [[w:Han Solo|Han Solo; [w:Princess Leia|Princess Leia; [w:Star Wars|Star War] What? ] ain't never had no sex with ] in the ]!

Brandon: [''To Bobby''] I will be patient with you. I will be there on your journey. I will be your Sherpa up the mountain...of gayness.

Mr. Surya: [[w:Indian exceptionalism|I hate you ebony and ivory motherfuckers!] ]

Deacon: [''After getting covered in Stacey's [[w:feces|feces; [w:anal sex|anal sex scene; [w:Wet and messy fetishism|That chick frosted me like I was a fucking cake!] ] during an Can you believe this shit?! ]

Lester: [''To Zack in the kitchen''; [w:homophobia|It's like jerking off together but not gay. We're not touching dicks, each other's dicks anyway] Don't know what a Dutch rudder...? All right, you grab your dick, then you have someone else work your arm. Here, let me show you. All right, grab my arm. I'm grabbing my dick, you're grabbing my arm. Now work it. Work my arm. See that shit? Work it up and down. It's like someone else is jerking you off. Okay. There's the double Dutch rudder, which, I grab my dick, you grab your dick, you work my arm, I work your arm, same time. ]. I'm touching my own dick. You're working it, and I'm loving it. It feels good, sir. Try me, come on.

Tuskegee Airman #2: Ma'am, I'd just like to thank you.

Amelia Earhart: For what?

Tuskegee Airman #2: [salutes] Well, a lot of people didn't think we could fly, either. Thanks for clearing the runway.

Seth Rogen: [discussing the apocalypse; Jay nods in agreement] This shit's cray cray, guys. I mean, it's like, the real, like Apocalypse, it's like the Revel, Book of Revelations, like that means there's a God. Right? I haven't led my life as though there's a God this whole time, who fucking saw that coming that there's actually a God?

Jay Baruchel: I-I'd say 95% of the planet.

Seth Rogen: Jesus fucking Christ, man.

Craig Robinson: You might wanna stay away from saying that.

Seth Rogen: Jesus fucking Christ"?

Craig Robinson: Yes.

Seth Rogen: Why? Why can't I say that?

Craig Robinson: One of the 10 Commandments: "Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain".

Seth Rogen: Jesus isn't the name of the Lord. God is the name of the Lord.

Craig Robinson: Jesus, God. It's all the same.

Jay Baruchel: It's the trinity.

Seth Rogen: Jesus...

Craig Robinson: Father, Son, Holy Ghost.

James Franco: It's like Neapolitan ice cream.

Seth Rogen: I don't even know what the fucking Commandments are.

James Franco: Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit, because...we're all good people. I can look at each one of you in the eye, I know you're good.

Seth Rogen: I'm good.

James Franco: We're four actors, we bring joy to people's lives!

Jay Baruchel: Yeah, but we don't do it for free, we get paid handsomely, much higher than the average profession.

James Franco: It's not like it was just handed to any of us, we've worked really hard to be here.

Craig Robinson: Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold.

Seth Rogen: Oh.

Craig Robinson: You sitting on the beach, it's freezing, you in your drawers, talking about something, everybody's surfing.

Seth Rogen: [whispering] I think God might've just fucked up, made a mistake and left us behind by accident! I mean, he's got a lot of shit on his plate!

Craig Robinson: It's not oversight, it's not a mistake. Okay, we gotta face facts, we're here and there's a reason we're all here.

James Franco: Wh-Why you so sure?

Craig Robinson: [sighs] I've- I've done things, man, I... I gouged a man's eyeballs out.

Jay Baruchel: What the?

Seth Rogen: Oh, fuck off.

James Franco: Craig.

Craig Robinson: Well I was a kid, man, it was a fuckin bar fight. It was a bad football game, he said I didn't call spinneys and I fuckin called spinneys, he got all in my face and I smashed a bottle across his face...

Craig Robinson: And the first eyeball was an accident, but then I was, like, fuck it. And I went for the second one.

Craig Robinson: It was fucked up, but you know what? That shit happens, I'm saying that's... I think that's why I'm here.

James Franco: [[w:Lindsay Lohan|Lindsay Lohan; [w:Chateau Marmont|Chateau Marmont] I gotta admit something. I, uh.... I fucked ]. She was fucked up, she was high. It was at the ], she kept banging on my door.

James Franco: [[w:Jake Gyllenhaal|Jake Gyllenhaal] She kept calling me ].

Seth Rogen: That's fucked up.

James Franco: Yeah, I said, uh, "Call me the Prince of Persia".

Craig Robinson: [sighs] See, that's what I'm saying, man. We've all done bad shit, you know? We've done more bad shit than good in our lives and... It's time to pay the piper.

Seth Rogen: Whoa.

James Franco: [whispers; lights lighter] Oh, shit! Something's wrong! God did this. He gave us light, and then he took it away.

Jay Baruchel: You hear that?! It's the soundtrack of us going insane.

Craig Robinson: [worried about Jonah, whispering] Damn, I wish there was something we could do to help him.

Jay Baruchel: [blows out lighter] I know what we can do.

Danny McBride: Thank you, James. It means a lot to you, and I appreciate that you’d give this to me. Stupid. Stupid motherfucker!

James Franco: Fucking psychopath!

Danny McBride: What the...?

James Franco: [takes the revolver back] It's a prop gun! What, do you think I'd put real bullets in here?

Danny McBride: You were gonna send me out there with a fucking gun filled with blanks?

Seth Rogen: Oh, fuck you! Don't turn this around on us. You tried to shoot us, you fucking dickhead!

James Franco: Fucking murdering motherfucker!

Danny McBride: Whatever. Fucking civilization is broken down. There's no more reason for this false bullshit. You guys act like you're so fucking high and mighty like you've never made a goddamn mistake before. Franco, you're some pretentious fucking nerd.

James Franco: Fuck you.

Danny McBride: [Jonah glares at him offensively] Jonah... you fucking cunt. Craig... you didn't have my back back there. You fucking disappoint me.

Craig Robinson: Bro.

Danny McBride: Seth... you duplicitous taint.

Seth Rogen: What?

Danny McBride: And of course, there's Jay... the self-righteous, cock-sucking, two-faced backstabber.

Jay Baruchel: What the fuck are you talking about?

Danny McBride: I overheard your little conversation with Craig, alright? The only reason why you care about any of us is because you think that's what God wants you to do. You don't give a shit about us.

Jay Baruchel: No, no, no, no. That-that's fucking twisting that shit around, you're fucking lying.

Danny McBride: Am I twisting this? I believe you were in Los Angeles two months ago at the four seasons. I saw you there, and you specifically asked me not to tell Seth, so you could maintain the illusion that you always stay with Seth when you're in Los Angeles.

Craig Robinson: Ooh! Jay.

Seth Rogen: Fuck, man.

Danny McBride: [opens his hands like a book and closes them] It's not, it's textbook twattage. And just for the record, you guys. I'm choosing to leave. You're not kicking me out. You guys had already said that I could come back in, and I'm the one who said that I'm not coming back in. Don't be cocky.

Seth Rogen: That is so fucking good.

James Franco: The two heroes over here breaking through the floor.

Seth Rogen: We did break through the floor.

Jay Baruchel: Any of you guys would have done the same thing.

Seth Rogen: Oh, man, that fucking hurt.

Jay Baruchel: Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t shart again.

Seth Rogen: I think I did.

Jonah Hill: Hey, what year is this?

Jay Baruchel: 19…

Seth Rogen: That’s a good… That’s a good year.

Craig Robinson: [turns his attention to McBride about to pour water] Hey, hey, no, no, no, whoa, whoa, whoa, what are you doin?!

Danny McBride: [Danny pours his glass with water as the others exclaim] What am I doing?

Seth Rogen: Fuck, man!

Danny McBride: What? I'm just pouring myself another glass of water to wash down that dry-ass Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

James Franco: That's very nice, but you can't just pour yourself another glass of water, man, will you cut it out?!

Seth Rogen: Yeah, we agreed to one glass at dinner. We voted on it, man.

Danny McBride: Well, man, I'm just getting sick and tired of all these fucking rules, man. You don't see me putting rules on you guys.

James Franco: You cannot have another glass of water.

Danny McBride: Jay weighs 150 pounds less than me. Why the fuck is it fair that him and I should drink the same amount of water? We should be dividing our rations based on our proportionate size.

Jonah Hill: I don't wanna come off as a diva here or anything. It's just that I think everyone should split everything equally.

Danny McBride: [mimicking Jonah] I just think that everybody should have the fucking same, I have a goddamn earring." SHUT THE FUCK UP, JONAH!

James Franco: You know what, Danny? If you weren't jizzing all the time, maybe you'd be more hydrated.

Danny McBride: You're making me into a joke right now, Franco, and you are not gonna like the fuckin punch line.

James Franco: No more jerking off, no more water, just sit the fuck down!

Danny McBride: Okay, I'm done. We're not gonna have any more water.

Seth Rogen: Good.

James Franco: Alright.

Danny McBride: YOU GUYS MADE THIS HAPPEN, YOU GUYS FORCED MY FUCKING HAND BY GANGING UP ON ME!

James Franco: [aims his revolver at Danny] GODDAMMIT, I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

Danny McBride: That's what I thought. Nerd.

Emma Watson: [Holding an axe] Back the fuck up!

James Franco: Emma, what's wrong?

Seth Rogen: W-W-W-What's wrong?

Emma Watson: What's wrong? I just heard you guys talking about which one of you's gonna get to rape me.

All: No! No, no, no, no!

Seth Rogen: [Emma hits Seth's nose with the back of her axe] I got it, I got it, no, it's funny, it's funny. We were specifically talking about not raping you... OH!

Jay Baruchel: Holy shit!

Emma Watson: [swishes her axe around] BACK UP!

Jonah Hill: It's me, Jonah! It's me, Jonah Hill, America's sweetheart, J-bug, J-bone, your friend! I would never hurt you...

Emma Watson: GET BACK! GIVE ME EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO DRINK, PUT IT IN THE BAG!

Seth Rogen: There's six of us, YOU CANNOT ROB US!

Emma Watson: [chops off a fake penis using her axe] I'M NOT FUCKING AROUND!

Craig Robinson: GIVE HER DRINKS!

James Franco: Okay!

Craig Robinson: GIVE HER DRINKS! PUT THE DRINKS IN HER BAG!

Danny McBride: Oh, God!

Craig Robinson: PUT ALL THE DRINKS IN HER BAG!

Emma Watson: HURRY THE FUCK UP!

Jay Baruchel: Okay, they're getting the drinks, put the axe down!

Craig Robinson: Don't give the Milky Way away!

Jay Baruchel: Put the axe down now!

Danny McBride: Okay? NOW, FRANCO, SHOOT HER FACE, SHOOT HER!

James Franco: [to Danny; to Emma] I'M NOT GONNA SHOOT EMMA WATSON! Look, Emma. Just stay here with us, it's a lot safer than out there.

Danny McBride: [[w:Hermione Granger|Hermione] ] just stole all of our shit.

Craig Robinson: Little bitty ass, um, 20-year-old jacked us.

Danny McBride: Then Jay suggested that we all rape her and now she's gone.

Jay Baruchel: I didn't... I was just... I...

Danny McBride: I think the only reason why he did that is because Jay knows he's about fucking two minutes away from becoming the house bitch himself.

Craig Robinson: So now, um, motherfuckers is thirsty.

James Franco: [after sending [[w:Emma Watson|Emma Watson] ] to James’ bedroom] We’ll be right here, okay? Fuck are you guys doing here?

Seth Rogen: Here’s what I think we should do. She’s British, right? She’s used to eating shitty food anyway. Let’s just give her all the shitty food that we don’t want.

James Franco: That’s fucked up. Look how tiny she is. She’s not even a full seven. She’s like half a seven.

Danny McBride: [[w: Harry Potter|Harry Potter] This is a fucking cool thing, man. I, for one, am very excited. I’m a massive ] fan.

James Franco: What?

Danny McBride: [[w:Harry Potter|Harry Potter] Yes. I love fucking ]. I cannot wait until she wakes up and I can ask her all these amazing questions about how they made those motion pictures.

James Franco: [[w:Dumble Dore|Dumble Dore] Take it easy, ].

Jay Baruchel: Guys, listen listen. I think we need to address the elephant in the room.

Seth Rogen: Whoa, Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.

Craig Robinson: That's fucked up. I'm right here man.

Jay Baruchel: I'm not calling Craig an elephant.

James Franco: That's racist.

Jay Baruchel: I wasn’t referring to him. I was referring to the issue that’s on all of our minds.

James Franco: What?

Jay Baruchel: This is one girl in a house with six males.

James Franco: Real safe.

Seth Rogen: Ideal scenario.

Craig Robinson: She’s like a little sister.

Jay Baruchel: I think that she needs… It’s important that she feels safe. And comfortable. And we should be mindful.

Craig Robinson: Who’s making her not feel safe?

Jay Baruchel: Well, I’m just saying we should… We don’t wanna give off a bad vibe.

James Franco: Vibes? I ain’t got no vibes.

Seth Rogen: Wait, what kind of vibes are you talking about, man?

Danny McBride: He’s talking about us giving off a rapey vibe.

All: Whoa!

Craig Robinson: Jesus.

James Franco: Jay, what the fuck, man?

Seth Rogen: Chill out dude.

James Franco: Why you putting that shit in the mix?

Jay Baruchel: He fucking said it!

Danny McBride: You’re the one saying it. No one here is thinking about raping anyone.

James Franco: Well, you talking about vibes is the only thing that’s rapey going on right now.

Seth Rogen: Dude, nothing was rapey until you brought up the rapey vibe.

James Franco: Fucking one who smelt it dealt it, dawg.

Seth Rogen: True that, dude.

James Franco: One who denies it supplies it.

Jay Baruchel: I know, it’s farts, I get it.

Jonah Hill: Guys, guys, guys. Jay’s not rapey. Jay couldn’t rape a fly.

Seth Rogen: He probably could.

Craig Robinson: Maybe we should stop this entire conversation right now.

James Franco: If anyone’s gonna rape anyone here, it’s probably gonna be Danny.

Danny McBride: What the fuck, Franco?

James Franco: What?

Danny McBride: Why do you think I’m gonna rape somebody?

James Franco: I’m just trying to lay it out here.

Danny McBride: I’m not gonna rape anyone, all right? If anyone’s gonna rape somebody, it’s Jay. He came up with the rape idea and his face looks like the police sketch of a fucking rapist.

James Franco: True.

Jay Baruchel: What the fuck does that mean?

Danny McBride: If anybody’s raping Emma Watson, it’s fucking Sir Rapes-a-Lot over here.

James Franco: Earthquakes cause tsunamis.

Seth Rogen: Yes.

James Franco: Tsunamis cause other tsunamis, disaster.

Danny McBride: I mean for all we know, the fucking Lakers could’ve just won and that’s the reason why all this is happening.

Seth Rogen: Hole in Franco’s front yard? Sinkhole. Every single time I turn on the news, sinkhole in South America, bunch of South Americans getting sucked into the ground.

Jonah Hill: Sinkhole de Mayo.

Seth Rogen: Sinkhole de Mayo. That’s why it’s named that, because sinkholes happen in the summertime.

Jay Baruchel: It’s not wildfires, it’s not earthquakes, it’s not sinkholes. I think I know what it is.

Craig Robinson: Let’s hear it.

Jay Baruchel: I think it’s the Apocalypse.

James Franco: What?

Jay Baruchel: [holds up a Bible] I’m serious, boys. It’s all here, in the book of Revelations.

James Franco: You took my Bible?

Jay Baruchel: [starts reading the Bible] Well, just hear me out, and you tell me that what I’m describing isn’t what’s going on right now. “And the skies shall open up and the light of the Lord shall shine down and those of good heart shall be brought into my kingdom of heaven.” That’s the Rapture, those are the gigantic beams of blue light. “And there will be a great mountain burning in fire.” I mean the Hollywood Hills are literally engulfed in flames as we sit here right now.

Craig Robinson: The Hollywood Hills ain’t no mountain, it’s a hill. Takes about 10 minutes to get across that motherfucker with no traffic.

James Franco: Coldwater.

Seth Rogen: I take Laurel Canyon.

Jonah Hill: Cahuegna.

Danny McBride: I usually cup down Barham.

Jay Baruchel: Boys, can I just fricking finish?

Craig Robinson: I love Laurel Canyon.

Jay Baruchel: [continues reading] “And out of the pit rose a great red dragon having seven heads, that old serpent called the devil and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world, was released onto the Earth.”

Craig Robinson: [[Where the Wild Things Are] I love that dude. He’s from ].

James Franco: It’s a load of bullshit.

Jay Baruchel: It’s not bullshit.

James Franco: You wanna know something else, Jay? If this is the end of the world and all the good people died, what you’re saying is, Seth, me, Jonah, Craig and Danny are a bunch of assholes.

Craig Robinson: I’m straight-up lovable, son.

James Franco: And if this is really the Apocalypse, you’re here too. So that means you’re just as shitty as the rest of us. Doesn’t feel too good, does it?

Danny McBride: Franco! Good morning, sunshine!

James Franco: Guys, guys, wake up! Danny’s alive! He’s eating all the fucking food!

Jonah Hill: Danny!

Danny McBride: No, it’s cool, man. I fucking made this for you guys!

Seth Rogen: Stop eating!

Jay Baruchel: Don’t eat another piece of bacon!

Danny McBride: [[w:Green Goblin|Green Goblin] Guys just chill the fuck out, okay? I’m sure the ] can fucking afford some more bacon.

Craig Robinson: Dude, that shit’s supposed to last us ‘till we get rescued!

Danny McBride: Wait a second. I know what happened. You guys dropped acid, didn’t you? Mm-hmm. Craig doesn’t have any pants on. He got fucking wild, probably danced and sweated all over the place. You got white shit all over your mouth, Franco. You probably sucked somebody’s dick. Jonah over here probably washed and jerked off. Jay, I didn’t even know you were in town. Good to see you.

Seth Rogen: Danny, we’re not on acid! We didn’t suck each other’s dicks!

Danny McBride: James Franco didn’t suck any dick last night? Now I know you all are tripping.

Seth Rogen: Do you actually not know what happened last night?

Jonah Hill: Daniel, you may want to stay seated for a second. Some really messed up stuff happened, and there were a lot of fatalities.

Danny McBride: Oh, really? You’re putting your serious voice on, Jonah? Okay tell me about these "fatalities.

Craig Robinson: [[w:Jason Segel|Segel; [w:David Krumholtz|Krumholtz] Dude, ]’s dead, ] is dead, Michael Cera’s dead.

Danny McBride: [laughing] Guess if Michael Cera’s gone, it’s not a total loss, huh?

Jay Baruchel: Jesus, Danny!

Danny McBride: Michael Cera’s dead.

Jay Baruchel: It’s not like that.

James Franco: It’s not funny, man. It’s really not funny.

Danny McBride: [[The Green Hornet (film)|Green Hornet] Seth, that’s a better performance than you’ve given in your last six movies. Where the fuck was that in ], huh? Jonah, you’re fucking sucking balls. You’re an Academy award nominated person. You need to be fucking selling that shit, dude. "Fatalities, there were some fatalities.

Jonah Hill: Fatalities.

Danny McBride: Okay, now that was good. That was good.

Seth Rogen: Does it seem like we’re fucking joking?

Seth Rogen: [after the group inventories the remaining food] Okay, food. How are we gonna deal with this?

Jonah Hill: Um, can I have that Milky Way?

James Franco: No, you can't have the Milky Way, that's my Milky Way. I went out this morning and specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party.

Jay Baruchel: That's weird.

James Franco: It's not weird, it's my special food, I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.

Seth Rogen: I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way. I want some of the Milky Way.

Craig Robinson: I'd be pretty bummed if I don't get at least a bite of the Milky Way.

James Franco: Oh, now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.

Craig Robinson: Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way! It's a fucking Milky Way.

Jonah Hill: Guys.

Jay Baruchel: A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable.

Seth Rogen: Everyone gets a fifth of everything.

James Franco: [To Craig] I want one fifth of your T-shirt! I want the bottom part. The belly.

Craig Robinson: I'm not sporting a crop-top in your house.

James Franco: I'll cut that shit off and make a headband.

Craig Robinson: You couldn't handle my midriff.

Jonah Hill: Guys, the only issue is...I kinda need the Milky Way.

Jay Baruchel: For fuck's sake.

Jonah Hill: No, for real, I have low blood sugar, and if my endorphins drop too low, I'm gonna be a nightmare to be around.

Jay Baruchel: What?

James Franco: Your LBS starts acting up, you can have a finger scoop of Nutella, okay?

Seth Rogen: One finger scoop of Nutella.

Jonah Hill: Fair.

James Franco: I’m going to bed.

Jay Baruchel: Jesus fucking…

James Franco: Don’t touch that Milky Way, Jonah.

Jonah Hill: Night, James.

Seth Rogen: [taking inventory of the food and supplies at James' house; [w:Nutella|Nutella; [w:Cinnamon Toast Crunch|C.T. Crunch; [w:Milky Way (chocolate bar)|Milky Way; [w:Sour Diesel|Sour Diesel] We got 12 bottles of water, 56 beers, two vodkas, four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, ], cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks, pancake mix, ], milk, ketchup, a ], a half-ounce of ], 3 1/2 grams Grand Master Kush, one ounce of shrooms, 15 pills of ecstasy, a porno mag, a baseball bat and a video camera from the movie 27 Hours.

James Franco: [correcting Seth; [127 Hours] ].

Seth Rogen: [[127 Hours; [Flyboys] Uh... ], and a functioning revolver from the movie ].

James Franco: [picks up the gun''] Old faithful.

Jay Baruchel: Jesus.

James Franco: Thing’s real. No, I kept this from the movie.

Seth Rogen: Yeah.

James Franco: This is an actual revolver.

Seth Rogen: I see, yeah.

Craig Robinson: Franco, that’s very uncomfortable. Could you put that thing down, please?

James Franco: Loaded.

Jonah Hill: Love it.

Jay Baruchel: Awesome. Can you just put the gun away?

James Franco: I always keep my props.

Jay Baruchel: That’s really cool.

James Franco: Always keep my props. I know how to handle it.

Jonah Hill: He knows what he’s doing. I like this bit. I like it. I get it. Let me see.

James Franco: It’s real. It’s heavy.

Jonah Hill: Let me see it like that.

Craig Robinson: Goddamn!

Seth Rogen: Come on, guys! You could kill…

James Franco: Careful.

Jonah Hill: [pretends to shoot it] Bang, bang!

Jay Baruchel: Jesus!

Seth Rogen: Please put it down!

Jay Baruchel: Oh, fuck!

Jonah Hill: Bang, bang, bang! You’re dead!

Jay Baruchel: I hope you’re fucking happy.

Jonah Hill: Pow, pow, pow!

Seth Rogen: Stop- Guys, stop fucking with the gun!

Jay Baruchel: Jesus. Jesus!

Jonah Hill: Pow! Pow! Bang!

Seth Rogen: It’s a real gun! It’s so funny. It’s so funny.

Jonah Hill: Guys, it’s funny.

Jay Baruchel: It’s not funny! We’re getting sidetracked.

Jonah Hill: I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’ll just kill myself.

All: No!

Seth Rogen: Don’t do that Jonah!

Jay Baruchel: Jesus!

James Franco: Jonah, give it back.

Jonah Hill: [puts the gun in his mouth] I don’t know! I don’t know!

James Franco: Don’t do that!

Seth Rogen: Oh, dude!

Jay Baruchel: Hey, come on! Come on, no, don’t! Jesus!

Craig Robinson: Would you put the thing down?!

Jonah Hill: The whole… I’m trying to have some fun, man. Look, just because a bunch of people fell into a hole outside doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun. We’re a bunch of best friends hanging out. It’s like a sleepover.

James Franco: Dude, look. Helicopters, helicopter. The good guys are here. We're fine, we're gonna be fine.

Craig Robinson: [screaming and jumping] Goddamn! Oh, goddamn!

James Franco: You okay?

Craig Robinson: [shows his damaged finger] No, I'm not okay. Fuck yo house, Franco!

James Franco: My house didn't do that!

Craig Robinson: Welcome to Heaven, motherfuckers.