Giovanni Ribisi Quotes

Carla Tate I wonder who thought up sex?

Daniel McMann I think it was Madonna.

Kelly Listen, I'm under ]. Shh. Okay?

John Okay, yeah!

Kelly Okay, arigato. Arigato.

John Moshi moshi!

Charlotte Evelyn Waugh?

John What?

Charlotte Ḛvḛlyṇ Ẉạugh was a man.

John Oh, c'mon, she's nice. What? You know-- You know, not everyone ]. Its just a pseudonym, for Christ's sake.

Charlotte Why do you have to defend her?

John Well... why do you have to point out how stupid everybody is all the time?

Charlotte I thought it was funny. Forget it.

Seth Davis I was making good money with the casino but these guys were "macking" it hard. That's the level I wanted to be operating on, so I drove out to Long Island. The office was a good hour from Wall Street. Somebody forgot to tell the guys who worked there, though. They looked and acted like they took the sixth train to Fulton Street every morning, but it wasn't Wall Street, it was exit fifty-three on the Long Island Expressway, a good hour from the New York Stock Exchange. "Group interview my ass", it was like a Hitler youth rally in retrospect. The guy who pitched us, Jim Young, was the head recruiter there. Between him and Michael, honestly, they can sell bubblegum at the lockjaw ward at Bellevue.

Judge Marty Davis I'm not your best friend. That's your mother's racket. I'm your father. I tell you when you screw up. What did you think I was gonna do? Pat you on the back for this casino idea? Tell you what a great entrepreneur you are? So what do you want me to do, Seth? I mean, my God, if I would have called my father to meet me for a cup of coffee to talk about my screw-ups, he probably would have laughed. We didn't have nice little chats about why I was a bad boy. I got smacked. And I didn't do it again. Much simpler.

Seth Davis Look, you know, I'm just trying to restore what's left of our relationship. I mean...

Judge Marty Davis Relationship? What the fuck are you talking about, relationship? What, are we dating? I'm not your girlfriend, Seth. I'm your father. Clean up you life, make an honest living, and then you and I can talk like normal people, all right?

Donny You're mine Ted!

Ted Screw you pal, I belong to John Bennett!

Donny But I can give you love and rocking horses, and dancing.

Ted I think we're very far apart on this.

Seth Davis I read this article a while back that said that Microsoft employs more millionaire secretaries than any other company in the world. They took stock options over Christmas bonuses. It was a good move. I remember there was this photograph of one of the groundskeepers next to his Ferrrari. Blew my mind. You see shit like that, and it just plants seeds, makes you think it's possible, even easy. And then you turn on the TV, and there's just more of it. The 87 million dollar lottery winner. That kid actor that just made $20 million on his last movie. That internet stock that shot through the roof. You could have made millions on it if you'd just got in early. And that's exactly what I wanted to do: get in. I didn't want to be an innovator. I just wanted to make the quick and easy buck. I just wanted in. ] said it best: Either you're slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot. Nobody wants to work for it anymore. There's no honor in taking the after school job at Mickey D's. Honor's in the dollar, kid. So I went the white boy way of slinging crack rock: I became a stock broker.

Seth Davis I had a very strong work ethic. The problem was my ethics in work.

Donny You know... I really love that Neil Diamond. Especially that song they play at the, uh, the (Boston) Red Sox games. It's just so infectious. You just can't help but sing along. ♪ Hands, touching hands, reaching out. Touching me, touching you. Sweet Caroline. ♪

Ted ♪ Bah bah bah! ♪ FUCK! Crazy son-of-a-bitch!

Vendor Hey! What are you doin to that bear?

Donny I'm sorry, I, uh--

Vendor You better be planning on buying that.

Donny He just reminds me of when I was a kid.

Vendor Yeah, that's great. $40.

Donny Okay. $40, here.

Seth Davis I ran casino. I've got to figure what I'm going to do next because I'm not a lottery winner. I tried "slinging crack rock" and I never had a jump shot, I've got to find a job.

Kelly John, John. You are my favorite photographer.

John Ohhh...

Kelly No, you are. I only want you to shoot me. It's true. Oh my God, I have the worst B.O. right now. I'm sorry.

Carla Tate Have you ever done it before?

Daniel McMann Well, yeah, kind of. You see, the guys at work, they chipped in and they found this girl, and she had a reputation. There was a lot of kissing and hugging and a lot of rubbing, and I kind of finished before I was supposed to. You have to be a guy to understand that.

Chris Varick You know how hard I worked to get where I am?

Seth Davis You need to forget about that; it doesn't mean shit. Right now, this moment is what you should be thinking about. What are you going to do in the next fifteen minutes. They're gonna make sure we never trade another share of stock for the rest of our lives. But we can do something.

Chris Varick What's that?

Seth Davis Harry, my client. I need a senior broker to sign a sell ticket so he can take his shares and dump them on the open market and make his money back. What's the difference? Do one thing right here. Just sign it.

Clinch What's happening to me...?

Albert You know, there are a million ways to die in the west, Clinch. There's, uh, famine, disease, gunfights...and, uh, wild animals. You know, like snakes. And, you know, the funny thing is, you don't even have to get bitten. All you need is a little bit of the venom introduced into your bloodstream, and you're pretty much screwed. For example, if you drain a certain amount of venom from the fangs of a diamondback rattler into a hollow-tip bullet, you really only need one shot. Now, I knew my aim wasn't good enough to hit you anywhere important. But if I caught you by surprise... Well, Anna taught me just enough to get me in the ballpark. And just a small amount of venom in an open wound is enough to kill a man if he's-

Ruth Albert! He's dead. You did it.

Albert Oh.

Ruth Yeah.

Albert Did he hear all that smart stuff I did?

Edward Uh...no. No, I don't think so.

Albert Oh. Well, it was still good though.

Edward Yeah, it was great!

Ruth I thought it was really good.

Faye But I thought you already decided on The Echoes.

Jimmy Nah, some band in Buffalo's the Echoes. And I wasn't wild about that.

Lenny Let's just call us The - Band You're About To Hear.

Chad How about The Corvettes?

Jimmy Is that The Corvettes, or the Chordvettes?

Chad No, Corvettes, like the car.

Jimmy Well see, I was thinking like the Chord... Chordvettes, like chords in our music.

Lenny Is that "Skitch" Patterson?

Chad Here he is, Erie's lone beatnik.

The Bass Player How about the Tempos? Ya know, tempos?

Lenny Not the Tempos, the Tempos. I was in a band already called The Tempos, and we were... terrible.

Chad Hey Guy, weren't you the drummer for the Tempos?

Guy Heard that.

Chris Varick What's this about? You ok?

Seth Davis I need you to sign a sell ticket for a client of mine.

Chris Varick Fuck Greg, let's go deal with it and talk to Michael.

Seth Davis Wait a minute Chris, I got arrested last night.

Chris Varick What?

Seth Davis The FBI arrested me.

Chris Varick The FBI? Why the fuck would the FBI arrest you?

Seth Davis Because of my involvement in this firm.

Chris Varick Your involvement in the firm? What the fuck does that mean?

Seth Davis Come on Chris you know what that means.

Chris Varick No, I don't know what that means, what the fuck did you tell them?

Seth Davis They knew everything, man. They had photographs and tape recorded conversations. They brought my father in. There was nothing I could do.

Chris Varick What did you do?

Seth Davis Chris, the FBI is going to raid this place in twenty minutes!

Chris Varick What the fuck are you talking about? Fuck Seth!

Seth Davis Come on man, I asked you for months about shit going on here and you told me to shut the fuck up and get ready to be a millionaire.

Chris Varick That's right "shut the fuck up", didn't you learn anything?

Seth Davis I learned how to fuck people out their money. My client, Harry Reynard, just lost his life savings. And he wasn't a whale, he was just a poor schmuck and I took him. I did everything J.T Marlin taught me to do and I made up his mind for him.

Chris Varick What do you want me to tell you? That's what we do here.

Seth Davis We lie, we're liars.

Chris Varick Who they coming for?

Seth Davis They're coming for everybody, everything.

Seth Davis No, no deal, you take my father out the back door and you bring him home, he has nothing to do with this case I swear to God, if his name ends up in one newspaper I do not testify and I mean that, for me it'd be worth going to jail for

FBI Agent David Drew Are you serious?

Seth Davis What'd you think?

FBI Agent David Drew Alright, before we get ahead of ourselves, what are you offering?

Seth Davis I'm going to hand you this case on a silver fucking platter, I know everything you don't, I know how it all works, I know how Michael makes his money, I know how he hides it, I know who he goes in with, I even know where he moves if you guys get too close, I know everything

Seth Davis * From the opening monologue.

Greg Weinstein Now there's two rules you have to remember as a trainee, number one, we don't pitch the bitch here.

Seth Davis What?

Greg Weinstein We don't sell stock to women. I don't care who it is, we don't do it. Nancy Sinatra calls, you tell her you're sorry. They're a constant pain in the ass and you're never going to hear the end of it alright? They're going to call you every fucking day wanting to know why the stock is dropping and God forbid the stock should go up, you're going to hear from them every fucking 15 minutes. It's just not worth it, don't pitch the bitch.

Seth Davis Hello?

Ron from the Daily News Hi, Mr. Dahvis, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin this morning?

Seth Davis It's Davis, and I'm not interested.

Ron Okay, I'm sorry to have bothered you. Have a nice day.

Seth Davis Wait a minute. Wait, that's your pitch? You consider that a sales call?

Ron Well, um...

Seth Davis You know, I get a call from you guys every Saturday and it's always the same half-assed attempt. If you guys wanna close me, you should sell me.

Ron All right.

Seth Davis All right. Start again.

Ron Okay. Hi, this is Ron from the Daily News. How you doin this morning?

Seth Davis Shitty. What do you want?

Ron It's not what I want, sir. It's what you want.

Seth Davis Ron, now we're talkin'. All right. What are you selling me?

Ron I'm offering you a subscription to the Daily News at a substantially reduced price. We're trying to reach out to people that have never had home delivery before.

Seth Davis Right, so, basically, everybody who already has a subscription is getting fucked on this one?

Ron Yeah, I guess so.

Seth Davis All right, well, I can handle that. So, tell me, why should I buy your paper? I mean, you know, why... Why shouldn't I get the Times or the Voice, you know?

Ron Well, the Village Voice is free, sir, so if you want it, you should certainly pick it up. But the Daily News offers you something no other paper can: a real taste of New York. We have the best features, more photographs than any other daily in New York and we have the most reliable delivery in the city. Now what do you think?

Seth Davis You know what I think, Ron? I think that was a sales call. Good job, buddy.

Ron So you gonna buy a subscription?

Seth Davis No, I already get the Times.

Greg Weinstein Now, now, listen to me. Even though you're not actually selling stock yet, I want you to remember the quota we have here, okay? Did you see ]?

Seth Davis Yeah.

Greg Weinstein Okay, do you remember ABC'?

Seth Davis Yeah. Always be closing.

Greg Weinstein That's right. Always be closing. Telling's not selling. That's the attitude you wanna have, okay.

Daniel McMann I love you every minute. I love you more than marching bands and cookie making.

Seth Davis I'm plagued by "what ifs?" these days. What if Greg hadn't come over that night, what if I hadn't forgot my bag? Or seen Michael walk into the other building that day? What if I had skipped over Harry's card? What are the chances? What are the odds?

Seth Davis I originally I got in for the cash but getting my dad's respect is what kept me there, I had to adapt to this new world, I didn't know any of these guys but what I did know is that they had all the money in the world and not a clue what to do with it.

Seth Davis Looking back the casino was the most legitimate business I had running, I looked my customers in the eye and I provided a service they wanted, now I don't even look my customers in the eye and I push them something they never asked for.

Kelly Everybody is always, like, "Kelly, ]." And I'm, like, "No, I'm not!" I eat so much junk food, you wouldn't believe it! Just because I have a high metabolism.

John Because I thought you were anorexic too.

Kelly Everybody does. Everybody thinks that.

John Yeah, cause you look so--

Kelly Thank you! I know, but it's-- I mean, I eat whatever. I have a really high metabolism. Yeah. But, um-- My dad was an anorexic.

Charlotte Really?

Kelly He, um, fought on ]. He was taken prisoner and the whole time he was there they tortured him about food. Every day they told him they put poison in the food. So, they would always make themselves throw up after every meal.

John That's horrible!